"Captain," Harrold said with determination, "please order every available hand to place as many barrels as possible on the deck of the ship."
"Barrels?" the Captain asked, looking incredulously at the wizard, "Why on Earth would we do such a thing?"
Harrold froze. He had, obviously, expected the need for explanation, but that didn't make it any less difficult to come up with a reasonable answer. "I'm afraid I can't explain. You'll have to trust that this is our only and best option. Consider it a wizard's secret if that helps."
Harrold clearly wasn't entirely convincing as the Captain looked at him strangely. "I would highly prefer an open discussion when it comes to situations like these, but..." he paused as he looked towards the giant creature, "given our circumstances, it doesn't seem like I have a choice in the matter."
For a fleeting moment, Harrold thought he noticed anger in the man's face, perhaps even something worse than anger. He couldn't be sure as the Captain's accessories made it hard to notice such details.
"I shall trust that your request has reason to it, but know that I do not appreciate this secrecy," the Captain said.
He turned around and ordered his men just like Harrold requested. After a short pause, Harrold turned to face Pat. "I'll need you to grab a... harpoon or spear. Preferably one with a sturdy handle. We'll also need a... longish rope. Oh, and find me a short sword or dagger, might come in handy."
Harrold hated both giving and receiving vague instructions, but Pat didn't seem to mind. He handed Harrold one of his own spare daggers before he went on his way for the other items. As the first barrels were placed down on deck, Harrold quickly sat down in a meditative pose and closed his eyes. Sweat started to build upon his forehead. Stay calm, Harrold. You'll have to hold on for a while.
A short while later the deck was filled with barrels and Pat had returned with the requested items. The Captain and Pat were shocked at Harrold's condition. He had rapidly turned into the world's first humanoid waterfall as sweat was streaming down in huge quantities.
"Is he quite alright?" the Captain asked Pat.
"I think he might be preparing some magic spell," Pat whispered back loudly.
"Magic must be astonishingly intense," the Captain said in response, somehow managing to sound both sarcastic and awed at the same time.
"I need everyone besides Pat... to get below deck... Now!" Harrold shouted, his voice heavily strained. His head was twitching sporadically and his hands started shaking. This might be too many.
The Captain grumbled a bit but was quick to react. "Do as the man says! Below--" he looked behind him, "Oh."
The sailors had already disappeared from deck. Given their last encounter with the kraken, they were more than happy to let someone else take care of this situation. Flying krakens sounded like something a wizard should deal with anyway. Sailors had their own important things to deal with, like drinking while waiting for someone else to take care of issues.
"Makerspeed, fine gentlemen," the Captain said to Harrold and Pat as he made his way to the stairs, "We shall always remember you, if we don't kick the bucket ourselves that is." He left the pair alone on deck with the large assembly of barrels.
"He's a real positive fellow, ain't he?" Pat remarked, not being sarcastic in the slightest.
It was silent for a while as Harrold struggled to maintain his sanity. This was a common occurrence for Harrold, but this time was a bit different. Finally Pat spoke up hesitatingly, "So, what's the plan here Harrold?"
Harrold was not in a state where he could speak clearly and decided to keep it short.
"Attach the rope to... my body, other end to harpoon," he said, the strain in his voice even worse now. After Pat had followed his instructions, Harrold continued, "Grab... harpoon and hold on to me."
As soon as he felt Pat grabbing on to him, he opened his eyes. Barrels filled his view. Barrels filled his mind. His entire body stirred, he could feel the blood rushing through his veins, muscles tensing painfully. He almost screamed in response. He looked towards their target. He couldn't think clearly, couldn't wait anymore. Was it close enough? His legs spasmed painfully and he almost fell over. His jaws were clenched so tightly that his entire face hurt. It had to be good enough, the kraken just had to be close enough. His vision was losing sharpness, everything becoming a blur. He had no clue where he was, what he was doing or even who he was. All he could see were the barrels. His mind had turned into a fog. He couldn't wait any longer. The urge was too great. His body screamed. The entire world screamed. He simply had to give in. He bent his knees deeply. Pat looked at him wide-eyed and held on tightly.
Harrold roared as he finally gave in. The deck creaked loudly, the planks beneath his feet cracking under the pressure. Harrold shot up into the air as he jumped with inhuman might. He felt the air rushing towards him, or was he rushing towards the air? His speed was unbelievable and he wasn't slowing down at all. The wall of air seemingly opening up for him, as if it knew that putting up a fight was pointless. His body felt strange, almost foreign.
Time moved so slowly. How long had he been in the air? How fast was he going? He knew he had jumped towards something, but couldn't quite remember what. He heard something surrounding him. He couldn't make out what it was. It felt... No, it sounded... Annoying. His mind was slowly returning, he felt his thoughts slowly returning to him as the fog in his head dissipated. He slowly regained control over his body. His blood flow slowed down. The wall of air was closing again, now more reminiscent of a wall of bricks. Panic, anxiety, and narcissism moved back in their home. Panic. The Kraken! Where is it?
"Harrold!" Pat shouted behind him, now holding on so tightly that it physically hurt,
"What are you doing!? It's almost underneath us, we'll overshoot it!" Pat pointed towards the beast with his harpoon.
Harrold looked down towards the Kraken, which seemed to be looking back at the odd pair. It looked about as wide-eyed and surprised as Harrold was himself, perhaps more so. "Throw the harpoon, we'll swing towards it!" Harrold shouted back at Pat, his mind now fully returned.
Pat instantly pulled back the harpoon and yelled as he threw it with all his might. A perfect throw. It rapidly flew towards the kraken. The kraken swung its tentacle towards the harpoon in an effort to swipe it away. No, no, no, no, no! But the harpoon was too fast, even for the mighty kraken. Yes! The harpoon struck the beasts thick skin, before bouncing off impotently as it had nowhere near enough velocity to actually pierce through.
Harrold and Pat rapidly flew past the kraken, with the rope attached harpoon dangling beneath them. Neither of them spoke as they started losing speed and altitude. Harrold realised that he would be spending the remainder of his life in the embrace of Pat. Pat had quickly gotten over the disappointment of the failed plan, unlike Harrold he never felt ashamed about such things, and started telling Harrold that they must've at least looked incredibly cool. In the back of his mind, Harrold had always been afraid that he'd die alone. A tear dropped from his eye. Only now did he realise dying alone is a blessing.
Elsewhere, the High Court of Physics could not be more pleased with this outcome. There was no executioner better suited to this case than gravity itself.
Less pleased was a certain furious flying monster. Not because of the poorly planned attempt on its life, but because it could not let two witnesses get away. It banked left and quickly turned around in a half circle, in pursuit of the two tiny flying beings.
Given that Harrold and Pat had lost all momentum, it wasn't long before the creature caught up. It dived downwards in an effort to try and scoop up the pair.
"Oh no," said the high-ranked council member of the High Court of Physics, "the stupid beast is going to ruin our perfect punishment!"
"Not on my watch," said the judge with frightening coolness. He slammed his small, somewhat silly looking hammer on the gravity button.
Harrold and Pat suddenly started falling about twice as fast. Harrold noticed this peculiar phenomenon but didn't think much of it. He was simply happy for it to be over sooner than expected.
The kraken had to put in some effort to keep up with the sudden increase in momentum, holding back its tentacles in an effort to streamline its form. Much to the disappointment of the court, the kraken had soon caught up, throwing itself underneath the falling pair to catch them with its head. The kraken quickly straightened out and turned to continue pursuit of the Bon Voyage.
"Pat! Stab it now!" Harrold shouted, seeing two tentacles slowly coming towards them. Pat jabbed the metallic harpoon straight into the head of the kraken. The skin was too thick to pierce deeply, but the harpoon went deep enough for it to stay put. Harrold, still attached to the harpoon by rope, started running and jumped off the kraken's head. I just need to kick it!
The kraken easily grabbed him out of the air and held Harrold in front of its eyes. Pat was next to him, being held by another tentacle. Harrold could see the kraken regarding them each in turn before it slowly strengthened its grip. Harrold couldn't help but yell out. Both Pat and the kraken looked at him with confusion as it wasn't anywhere near painful, not yet anyway.
"I'm sorry," Pat suddenly said. Harrold didn't quite know what for, but, given the fact that they were about to die, he imagined Pat was simply apologising for every wrong he ever inflicted upon him. He was wrong.
"I'm sorry that we hurt you, but you attacked us first mister kraken," Pat said, "we simply defended ourselves."
The kraken pulled Pat closer, looking at him intently.
"Now, I know we all have bad days and perhaps this was one of yours. It happens and that's fine, but it's not cool to just lash out like that, especially with those massive tentacles," Pat continued, looking right back at the kraken, "You're one of the most amazing beings I've ever seen. I would've loved to hang out with you. I could've called you Krakky the kraken, my coolest friend in the entire sea or sky. Everyone would hear your story and would go out onto the sea, hoping to one day find Krakky and become his friend themselves. So, why do you act this way Krakky? Why can't we be friends?"
Krakky loosened its grip on Harrold and Pat. Harrold assumed the kraken couldn't understand a word Pat was saying or, in the unlikely case that it could, that the words wouldn't have an effect. That's why he took the opportunity to grab his knife and stab it right into the tentacle with as much strength as he could manage. It wasn't much, but it caught the kraken by surprise nonetheless, causing Harrold to be dropped in response. He fell downwards before swinging below the kraken with his rope. Harrold held out his leg and gave the hanging bucket the strongest kick he could manage, which wasn't much once again and didn't really achieve anything besides hurting his foot. I should've probably let Pat handle the physical tasks. He started climbing back up on the rope, hoping to get a second go.
Pat was, undeservedly, being strangled by Krakky. The earlier words had gotten through to the kraken and it had loosened its grip in the hope that it would be forgiven for its rudeness, but the sudden betrayal by Harrold swiftly made sure it would never trust anyone ever again. Thankfully for Pat, the kraken was now very close to the ship. The sailors were back on deck, somewhat annoyed that the problem hadn't been dealt with, and took aim with their muskets. One of them decided it was probably the right time to start being accurate, he took aim and hit the kraken right in its left eye. The already infuriated kraken was now slightly more infuriated, swinging its tentacles around wildly. In its anger, it decided to throw its former best friend towards the ship. A fitting ending to the short-lived friendship.
Harrold had climbed back up to the harpoon on the creature's head and was about to jump off to have another go at the bucket. Before he could do so, he saw Pat flying through the air. It didn't look particularly magical or voluntary, so Pat probably hadn't initiated the flight himself. Harrold had a choice to make. He could kick the bucket, literally, and have Pat spent the remainder of his life as a projectile, or try to save Pat and, likely, have everyone kick the bucket, nonliterally. The choice was obvious. One would never give up the friends they care for in such a dire situation. No matter the outcome, no matter the cost. Harrold didn't care all that much about Pat though and decided to save the many, including himself. That's when he noticed that his rope had torn apart during the kraken's earlier tantrum. Might as well save Pat then.
He turned his head towards the ship, his eyes taking in the barrels. His mind taking in the barrels. His heartbeat rose. They were more distant this time, which, he hoped, would lessen the force enough to make it to the ship safely. He jumped towards Pat, setting off against the creature's head. The force of the jump wasn't nearly as strong as before thankfully. Harrold could still think clearly. He was in control this time and he knew what he had to do. He quickly intercepted his friend and grabbed on to him. Right before they hit the deck of the ship, Harrold turned around, his back now facing the ship while he held Pat in front of him.
Together they barreled straight into the barrels, knocking most of them off the ship. Harrold took the brunt of the impact, the adrenaline and his strengthened muscles allowing him to survive the fall. They rolled to a standstill. Everyone on deck looked at the pair in amazement.
"Is this why he wanted them barrels? How could he have predicted all this?" one of the sailors asked.
A blue light suddenly lit up the dark skies above them. Harrold, lying on his back and in great pain, tried to point upwards as his body protested.
"Lo--" he said, before a bolt of lightning, under thunderous applause, struck down and hit the metal harpoon on top of the kraken.