Find Home - The Honey Trees
"Graceful and wise, you were the one who woke my heart and kept it alive. You were the one who took my fear..."
ISABELLA
Everything was moving in slow motion. Harry's fist hit Chase's jaw in one quick punch.
I stood still. Absolutely still. My mind was yelling at me to do something: to scream, to move, to pull Harry away. To do something! But my body had other plans. I remained still. Absolutely shocked still.
"Harry!" Jaz screeched, breaking me from my statuesque state.
I looked up. My eyes widening at the scene before me.
Sonja was screaming. Her petite body running towards Chase's aid. He was sprawled on the ground as Harry threw in another punch. It was clear to us all that Harry was beyond mad. His anger was radiating off of his body. The muscles in his back moving with each punch. With each punch, he yells a string of profanities. Chase manages to throw in a punch to Harry's jaw, earning another hit to his own. Sonja remains by Chase's side. Poor girl.
"Ben! Do something," Jaz screamed once more. I was still standing still. My mind continuing to yell at my body to do something.
Even though I knew that I should stop Harry from fighting Chase, I couldn't help but not. Chase deserved every punch that he was receiving. He had done so many different things that had brought so much more destruction than the few punches Harry was giving him.
First off, Chase used me. He made me believe that he loved me when in reality, I was nothing but a lousy rebound. He had even gone so far as to nickname me after his ex-fiancee, making me believe that it was only a name that he had liked. When in reality, i was only a substitute for his lost love. He used me. Granted, you had used him too, that voice in the back of my mind reminds me. God, sometimes I hated her.
Secondly, Chase was a complete asshole towards Harry. Even though Harry as also at fault, he did not deserve the sarcastic and rude remarks that Chase was constantly throwing his way. Harry didn't deserve half of the things that Chase said to him. With that, I could justify the blows that he was receiving towards his jaw.
Without giving my body permission to do so, I had found myself running towards Harry. He was standing up, his body shaking in rage. He was holding his fist. It was bleeding; scratches scattered across his knuckles. I look at his jaw and notice a bruise that was beginning to form. Ben was holding him back while Sonja and Jaz tended to Chase. "H, calm down. Alright?" Ben continues to say in order to calm Harry down.
Carefully, I place my hand on Harry's shoulder. His body grows rigid until he realizes who I am. His face softens. Guilt and fear flashing behind his eyes. I give him a half smile. Ben looks at me but I only nod. He catches on to what I am trying to say and let's Harry go.
We walk towards the back exit. Harry doesn't say anything and neither do I. Everything seems to be a blur. Our motions slowed down. My mind is still racing from the previous events. Harry's knuckles continue to bleed as we walk towards my apartment door. "Let's get you cleaned up," I tell him quietly. He doesn't say anything as we walk towards my bathroom.
The apartment is quiet. Our lack of conversation adding on to the eerie quietness of the room. I flick on the bathroom light. Guiding Harry towards the closed toilet seat, I sit him down. Looking through the cupboards, I find my first aid kit. I pull out the necessary items to clean and sanitize Harry's cuts. "This is going to sting," I tell him as I gently wipe his cuts.
He hisses in pain. His face conturing to a grimace. "Sorry," I mutter as I continue to clean him up. "It's fine." He says to me, his eyes focused on my busy hands.
After I clean his hands and jaw, I lean back. My back rests against the bathroom sink. I look at Harry. He doesn't look up at me. He remains still, his breathing heavy. "What was that about?"
"Chase is a dick," he tells me. I hold back my laugh and bite on my lip.
"You don't have to tell me twice." I place my hand on his shoulder. Harry looks up at me, a fraction of a smile on his lips. Using his non injured hand, he pulls me onto his lap. I wrap my arms around his neck. I leave a soft kiss to his bruised jaw. "Does that hurt?"
Harry quickly shakes his head, "Not at all, love."
I smile, leaving another soft kiss along his bruised jawline. "You didn't have to punch him."
"He deserved it," Harry mutters to me.
I don't respond. Huffing, I shake my head. I begin to laugh, completely amused by all of today's events. Harry looks at me. He gives me a questionable look before chuckling himself. I rest my head on his chest, enjoying the rumblings of his low chuckles. "Chase is an idiot," I finally say. My chuckles subsiding. "He's an idiot for thinking that it's okay to say those things about you. Everything that Chase said tonight- it's not going to stop me from wanting to be with you."
"It should," Harry mumbles.
Quirking an eyebrow, I look at him. He shrugs his shoulders, avoiding eye contact. "He's right."
"No he's not," I scoffed. "He doesn't know what he's talking about."
Harry shakes his head. "Sarah could be alive if it wasn't for me. I'm the reason for her death. I was so caught up in my love for her that I didn't see how it was actually affecting her life. I could have saved her but I didn't. I fucking killed her."
Frantically, I shake my head. My hands reach up, cupping his jaw. "No," I say to him. My voice quivering slightly. "You listen to me." I tilt Harry's head up, my eyes blurring slightly with tears. "You are not the reason behind Sarah's death. Those girls, those stupid, stupid girls are."
He shakes his head, chuckling at me. "I'm not worth your time, Isabella. Find a guy that isn't a fucking screw up. Chase is right - I'm incapable of loving you right."
My heart breaks. Tears welling up, my vision blurs. "No," I shake my head quickly. My hair hitting my face as I do so. I can feel my hands shake. It hurt me to see Harry so down on himself. He was so oblivious to how amazing he truly was. When I looked at Harry, I see a man of strength. A beautiful man who has endured so much heartache in his life but was still standing. I just wished that he saw what I saw. "You are capable of loving. You said so yourself. We are falling for one another. Don't let Chase get in your head. Don't let your demons tell you what's what. I am here with you. You are so much better than what you believe. Please, baby."
At this point, I am crying. My hands shaking as they try to hold Harry close. He looks at me, his own eyes welling in tears. "Why do you care about me so much?" He asks me quietly.
"Because you are the type of person that I want to make smile every day. That makes me smile every day. You help me face my fears and you are the reason my own demons are silenced. I need you in my life, Harry," I confess to him. Harry was everything that I wanted in my life. His past wasn't going to change that for me.
"I already chose you," I whisper.
Harry pulls me in to his body. His lips crashing against mine in a passionate embrace. "I don't deserve you," he says against my lips.
"I'm the one that doesn't deserve you."
With that, he kisses me once more. His hands tangled with my hair. My hands move against his body. My lips fighting against his. Harry moves his hands from my hair and towards my sides. His fingers digging into my hipbone. As I moan, Harry takes it as an opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, deepening our kiss. My hands find their way to the base of Harry's neck, entangling my fingers in his curls. He pulls my body closer to his, my legs straddling him tightly.
He pulls back, breaking our kiss. "I need you," he says to me. I kiss him once again, using my lips to express my own need. This time, our lips move slow. The kiss is still passionate. Our mouths moving as one. Harry manages to slip his hands from my hips to my bottom. He lifts me up as he stands. My legs wrapping around his torso tightly.
He walks us out of the bathroom and towards my bedroom. He shuts the door with his foot, somehow locking it with his free hand. I feel the soft fabric of my duvet cover as he lays me down gently against my mattress. Our lips continue to move together, our tongues dancing to our own rhythm. I knew what was about to happen. My mind racing with thoughts of how I had pictured our first time to go. Every scenario that I had previously imagined vanished. This was going to be special. I just wanted Harry to feel loved... cared for. I wanted him to know that I wasn't going to leave him. That what we had was special and real. It was raw; authentic.
I move away from his lips. Sitting up, I gently push Harry to sit beside me. He watches me as I move my hands to cup his cheeks, rubbing soothingly against his rough skin. He sat there, watching me. Entranced by my gentle movements. I hide my nerves, as my hands move down his t-shirt clad chest. My thumbs hook at the bottom of his shirt, moving it up and over his head.
"Izzy-"
"Shh," I cooed, my lips leaving gentle kisses along his exposed collarbone. His breath hitches. I swallowed hard once his own hands reach for the hem of my own shirt. He moves it up and over my head and throws the fabric to the ground. He inhales sharply, his eyes skimming over my exposed chest and stomach.
"You are so beautiful, baby," he says to me. I cup his face and leave another kiss to his jaw, cheek and lips.
Every action that we took was careful and gentle. We both knew that this was going to be special. An unspoken agreement we had made with our own actions and exposed vulnerability. "You're my world," he whispers against my lips. "You're everything to me, Isabella. You're perfect. So fucking perfect."
I take his hand, moving it towards my chest. His breath hitches, his eyes widening slightly. Harry pulls back slightly. "What's the matter?"
His eyes search mine. He bites down on his lip before licking them. "I was wrong," his voice cracks slightly.
Quirking an eyebrow, I narrow my eyes in confusion. "What do you mean-"
"I don't think I'm falling for you," he says slowly. My heart falls from my chest. Embarrassment and self-doubt flooding my whole being.
"Oh."
He shakes his head, his hands cupping my cheeks. "I don't think because I know. I love you, Isabella. I am already fucking in love with you."
Everything is silent around me. My heart beating erratically in my chest. My eyes welling with unwanted tears. The words are so loud in my ears. He loved me. Harry loved me. He didn't think he did, he knew. His hands let go of mine. He looks almost defeated. "You don't feel the same way. Fuck. I shouldn't have said anything." He gets up from the bed, grabbing his shirt and slipping it on.
"Where are you-"
"I'm just going to go have a smoke."
Shit. Shit. Shit- do something Izzy. Say something. You know how you feel about Harry. You've know since the moment you saw him. Say fucking something. My subconscious is screaming at me. Her hands flailing above her head, her eyes wide in horror. "Harry!" I screeched, my voice louder than expected. "Stop!"
He turns around slowly. His eyes looking at mine: defeated. I stand up, rushing towards him quickly. I wrap my hands around his neck, pulling his head closer to mine. "Harry, I love you too."
What I say doesn't take long to register before he is kissing me hard. His fingers latching onto my sides, pulling me closer to his body. I can feel his lips smiling into the kiss, his breathing quickening. It soon becomes labored by the increasing intensity of our fervent kisses.
I allow his hands to explore my exposed skin. He unclasps my bra, allowing it to fall to the ground. "I love you," he says against my skin, kissing each and every part of my heated skin. "God, I can't say that enough."
My fingers grip the edge of his shirt once again, pulling it quickly over his head. I stare at him for a moment before running my hands up and down his naked skin. My fingers trace over every inch of his tattooed body. My eyes memorizing each black line and dark swirl. His hands continue to explore my body. Moving down slowly towards my jeans. He unbuttons them, moving the fabric slowly down each leg. I am soon standing before him in nothing but my pink panties.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful."
I reach out for Harry's own jeans, unbuttoning them. He uses his legs to free himself from the confines of his jeans. We both stand in front of one another in nothing but our underwear. He takes one step towards me. His movements slow. He reaches for my chest, his calloused fingers tracing my skin. He leaves soft kisses along my collarbone and down towards my breasts. He takes one into his mouth, sucking on the skin, careful to not leave any bruising. He uses his other hand to knead into the other, enticing a low moan to escape me. "So fucking beautiful," he breathes against my skin.
"Oh Harry," I moan softly, my hand reaching for his boxer clad bulge. I feel his hardened member against my hand, palming him gently against the fabric. He sucks in a breath, his lips turning into an "o". I move my hand up towards his neck, pulling him close to me. I feel his member press against my thigh earning a rushed heat course down towards my core. I move his boxers down allowing him to spring free. He does the same to me, leaving us completely bare for one another.
All of our actions are slow and carefully thought out. There were no roses or candles- things that Harry wanted for our first time together. Yet, even though the gesture would have been romantic, I was glad that we didn't have any of that. All that I needed, all that I wanted, was Harry. Knowing that he loved me and that each of his actions was driven by his love and admiration for me, was all that I needed.
Harry lays me against my bed once more. I palm at his now hardened member, feeling him throb against my hand. I grab him tightly earning a low moan from Harry. "Baby," he breathes out. "Touch it," I feel my cheeks heat at his bold request. This wasn't my first time touching him in this way, but the vulnerability of our actions made me feel like this was the first time. I reach my hand out, grabbing his smooth skin. I move my up and down gently, earning a low growl from within him. Harry's reaction encourages my movements increasing my speed. His head falls back, his eyes squinting in pleasure.
"Holy shit," he breathes out. His eyes screwing shut. Harry reaches for my hand, pulling me away gently. "I don't want to finish just yet," he says to me. I nod my head understandingly.
Harry moves me back so that I'm now laying down. He hovers above me. His lips making contact with my skin. He kisses every crevice of my body. His hands rubbing up and down my arms. I bite my lip, holding back the moans that want to escape me. "I love you," he says to me once more.
"I love you too," I gasp once his lips touch my inner thigh. My mind racing with his slow kisses. He takes his time, kissing every inch of my thighs. His lips move back up my legs and towards my lips. He kisses me gently. Each movement of his lips against mine gentle and sweet. He pulls away before bending down towards his jean pocket. I grab his hand. He looks at me, his brow quirked. "I'm on birth control. I - I want to feel you," I admit to him sheepishly. Harry shakes his head, chuckling to himself.
"Okay, baby. If you're sure-"
"I'm sure."
Harry nods his head once more before pushing me gently back down. He kisses me as he positions his body above me. "I'm going to be slow, baby," he says before I can feel him at my entrance. In one slow movement, I feel him enter me. His body filling me up. I bite my lip hard. It had been a while since I have had sex. It's more painful than I thought it would be. I flinch causing Harry to stop.
"Am I hurting you?" He asks me, his eyes flashing with worry.
"It's- um - it's just been a while. Move... please baby." I tell him. Harry hesitates but soon enough moves slowly.
A loud moan comes from Harry, "Shit, Iz. You're so tight. How are you so fucking ti-" I cut him off with a moan. My eyes screwing shut at the sensation of him inside of me. I grasp for him, bringing his lips to mine.
Harry's movements are slow and gentle. Each thrust careful. He shuts his eyes, his teeth digging into his lip. "I love you so much," I tell him in between each kiss to his jaw. I have never felt so close to someone before. This was different than any other time I've had sex. This was fueled by the vulnerability and love that we had shared for one another. We had were already connected emotionally, this only brought us even closer.
His thrusts soon grow quicker. Our bodies growing closer to our highs. "Right... there..." I breathe out as he hits the right spot. His lips find my neck, sucking hard as he continues to move in and out of me. I grip at his skin, my nails running up an down his back. I tighten my legs around his waist.
"I'm so close baby," his voice is so raspy, bringing me closer to my edge. "Come with me." A few moments later, I feel my body clench around him. He sucks in a deep breath, his body stilling. I feel myself hit my own high, reaching and riding it out with him. When he finishes, he collapses on top of me. His lips finding my own lips, kissing me hard.
"That was fucking amazing. You are fucking amazing. I love you so damn much." He says under his breath. His wet curls tickle my face earning a loud giggle.
"I love you," I whisper once more, completely and utterly content with where we laid; naked and vulnerable in the arms of my love.