originally published: feb 1st 2019
updated: july 11th 2019
word count: 2617
requested by: lapisprincesslibby
slight trigger warning (depressing themes mentioned)
-
When your friend, who was also your roommate, had told you she could get you a date, you instantly shut her idea down.
"No way, F/N," you snapped at her. "I have no luck with guys and my luck probably won't turn up anytime soon."
"Shut the fuck up Y/N, you've been whining about finding someone for so long and I think I have the solution right here." She pointed to a newspaper article, a smug grin plastered across her face.
"So a fucking article convinced you that I, Y/N, the one with the loner reputation, could get a date." You deadpanned.
"Yep! Just read it," she shoved the newspaper in your hands. "Trust me man."
"The last time I trusted you with anything, I ended up having to wash strawberry jam off my entire body."
She grunted and walked off to her room, leaving you at the kitchen's island to look at the article. You quickly glanced at the paper in your hands, then back to where your friend had walked off. What she said was true, you were lonely and it was kicking you in the ass. You just needed someone to cuddle and joke around with, and most importantly, be yourself with. Your last ex had been a complete asshole, and you weren't going to risk getting back into that, as much as you missed kissing and holding someone's hand.
"Fuck emotions, they're so stupid." You grumbled to yourself. As you looked back to the article in your hands, you decided fuck it, might as well. Grabbing a glass of water and sitting down at the counter, you started to read the bullshit your friend had given you.
-
"So... you plan to make me fall in love with someone with... 36 questions?" You asked F/N when she walked back into the kitchen.
"Oh! You actually read it? Holy shit I didn't think you would," she giggled before continuing to talk. "And no, by the way. Well, maybe - it's all up to fate." You groaned as she said that.
"Then what is it then?"
"You get to know each other! Imagine it as a date, except you're locked in a room and kidnapped by the FBI because you were caught with 50 pounds of cocaine." You arched an eyebrow as she said that.
"That sounds more like prison."
"It's an interrogation. Now Y/N, where did you hide the fucking cocaine." F/N said dead serious, before breaking out into a fit of laughter as you rolled your eyes and smirked.
"Answer the fucking question, dumbass." You flicked her forehead, awaiting for what other rambling she had coming.
"Alright alright, I'll tell you. It's just so you get closer with the person and don't have to deal with awkward dates. And hey, with those questions, you may find your true love." She waved her arms around slowly as she finished her sentence.
"The whole thing sounds like a fucking test, as if we're animals." You replied, pointing to the article.
"Which we are, by the way - listen, I won't put you up with a complete stranger. I'll set you up with one of my friends."
"Who is a stranger to me!" You exclaimed.
"I know him, you'd like him. He's really funny and nice." F/N smiled, putting her hand on your shoulder, trying to calm you down.
"This is like a blind date." You glared at her.
"But it's not. You're in a room and just to piss you off, you aren't allowed to have your phone. You talk to him, you have a nice conversation, and if you don't like him, you can go back to whining about never finding a boyfriend." There was a moment of silence before she added in, "I'll pay you $100."
"BET."
-
You were honestly regretting saying that. Here you were, waiting for F/N to come back with her friend, Matt. Was the $100 really worth it? Probably not. But you couldn't text her since she had taken your phone a few minutes prior. There was no backing out now, and you didn't want to seem like an asshole in front of Matt by saying you didn't want to do the whole 36 questions thing. 'Either I like him or I don't end up liking him. Two simple options. It'll be over before I know it, and I'll go on still whining for the rest of my life about how lonely I am.' You thought to yourself before snapping out of it as the door to your dorm opened wide, showing F/N with a tall guy behind her.
"Matt, this is N/N. N/N, this is Matt." She had a shit-eating grin across her face as she introduced you to each other. You couldn't lie, this guy was good looking. But then you started to freak out. 'Oohhhhh shit F/N made a huge fucking mistake there's no way a guy this handsome can like me!' You thought to yourself as your smile was replaced by a slight frown. You were trying to mask your anxiety as best as possible and quickly put on a small grin and put your hand out for Matt to shake.
"Nice to meet you." You said, desperately trying to hide your blush.
"You too."
"Now, you two gotta connect over this set of questions I've made for you." F/N interrupted, handing you a few sheets of paper.
"We don't get to choose our own questions?" You and Matt groaned. "Nope, because N/N will make it all awkward and probably ask when was the last time you fucked, and Matt would ask some dumbass question like, 'how's the weather?' etcetera etcetera." Your friend replied, making you both glare at her.
"I would certainly not ask when was the last time Matt fucked. I'd ask when was the last time he snorted crack though." You grinned, trying to lighten up the tension with humour. 'Success', you thought to yourself as Matt and F/N bursted out into laughter.
"Anyways. I'll leave you to it. Matt, I have your phone here." Your friend showed him the phone, which was now in her hand.
"Wh- how'd you get that?!" He asked, so sure that he had left it on the counter back in his room. Instead of giving an answer, F/N backed away from the room, closing the door quickly and leaving the two of you be.
"So..." you muttered, flinching a bit at the awkward silence in the room. "So." Matt mumbled back. "Did she make you read the dumbass article too?"
You laughed, remembering you had thought the same thing earlier when you had read it. "Yeah, I did. Guess you think it's bs too, huh?"
"Definitely. I mean, 36 questions can make you fall in love just like that?" He snapped his fingers to prove his point.
"That's what I thought!" You exclaimed, grinning as he smiled at your energy. "I'm honestly debating whether we should ask each other the question just to humour F/N."
"What've we got to lose? We're stuck here for a while and the questions can't be that bad." Matt replied, taking the question sheet from your hands and chuckling a bit as you said 'Hey! I had that,'.
"Question one," he started, glancing at you to see if he had your attention. "Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?" You chuckled a bit as he put on a mock-British accent as he said 'whom'.
"Umm... can I say Deadpool? Because that'd definitely be one fucking weirdass dinner and I would love to experience that." Matt laughed at your answer.
"You'd probably get shot in the head by him!"
"What if I offer him another dinner. Do you think he'd spare me?" You smirked as you leaned in closer.
"He'd probably still kill you. I'm sure your cooking can't be great." You put a hand to your heart in mock-offense, gasping over dramatically - you took in so much air you started to choke on it and coughed up a lung.
"Shit, are you okay? I didn't know someone could hurt themselves like that, Jesus Christ." He put a hand to your back, patting it to let you catch your breath.
"I- I was- gonna say that my cooking is fucking splendid, thank-you-very-much." You playfully glared at him after getting over your coughing fit.
"I'll hold you to that." You both relaxed back in your chairs.
"How about you? Who would you have as a dinner guest? The green M&M? She's sexy." Matt and you both burst out laughing as you said that.
"No way- I'd want Shaggy. He could fucking annihilate me using only 0.1% of his power and I'd thank him."
"Ah, self-deprecating jokes. I see you are a man of fine taste."
-
As the night went on, more jokes were shared and strange questions were asked. "They're pretty detailed- or unique- whatever you say." Matt had pointed out after the 9th question, to which you agreed to. They were becoming more and more intense, and you hesitated answering the 11th question: Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. It was intense, but you managed to keep it as light-hearted as you could - you had only met Matt two hours ago, and now you both knew about each other's life stories?! Well, at least a part of it.
"These are fucking intense." You muttered.
"I know. Don't answer the questions if they're really that bad." Matt replied, smiling a bit to comfort you. You smiled back, thankful that he was respectful about it.
More time passed, and finally there was a question you both didn't know how to answer. What is your most terrible memory? You gulped as you felt the air around the both of you thicken in anxiety. You glanced over to Matt, who was looking at his hands, debating whether or not he should tell you what the answer was. 'He went first for most of the questions. He didn't even press when I told him there were parts of my life I didn't want to share. I should spare him a bit.' You thought to yourself, taking a deep breath before letting go, your shoulders drooping. You clapped your hands together, getting Matt grounded again.
"Okay. Since F/N hasn't spared us, and since you've answered most of the questions first, I'll answer this one before you." You smiled at him, which made him nod slightly. "Buckle up kiddos, it's a ride." You muttered as you looked at the ground, starting to regret your decision. Oh well.
"When I was a kid, I got into a lot of fights at school. Since I'm not from here, and since most of the students weren't very... nice with outsiders, they started picking on me. My dad had always told me to keep fighting, and I think I took that saying too literally. But instead of the kids picking on me getting in trouble, I was the one to take the piss. Principal's office was practically a second home, detention was almost every day, and I barely got good grades." You took a deep breath before continuing. "My parents got real angry at me. Tensions were always high with my parents before that, because my mom's mom was sick, and we all knew she wouldn't make it no matter how hard we tried. My mom was pretty fucked over from that, and I seemed to make it worse with all the fights I got into. One night, I came back home more bruised and bloodied than ever before, and that's when my mom snapped and ran out the house. She got hit by a speeding car as she was crossing the street. Her leg, along with ribs, femur and arm were broken. She's fine now, of course, but that shit really fucked me over. After that, I asked my dad to switch schools because I didn't want something similar to happen ever again." You let out a long sigh as you finished, and looked over to Matt.
"Jesus. Y/N, that's not your fault at all." Matt scooched his chair over closer to yours and tried to give you a side hug, pulling you into his side.
"Thanks." You mumbled, not knowing what to say. The hug felt nice.
Matt had gathered the courage to explain what his worst memory was, and after that, continued on with the questions after a lot of comforting and hugs. The tension in the air alleviated as you both started throwing in more jokes, getting more comfortable as time passed. In the end, you ended up on the couch, your legs on his lap as you continued reading off the questions. After question 36, you guys were done - or so you thought.
"Actually, I have a question of my own." Matt turned his body more over to face you, grabbing your attention from the paper which was now laying on your face.
"The paper says 36 questions to fall in love, not 37." You grinned at him as he chuckled at your stupid comment.
"Shut up and let me say my pickup line."
"Well know you've ruined it by saying that!"
"N/N oh my god shut the fuck up." You both laughed at that, before calming down and letting him go ahead.
"Can I have your number?" You smiled at him as he asked the question.
"Of course! I'll write it down on sticky note, and promise me you'll have my contact name as the one I have written down." He nodded, looking at the paper you had given him and smiling at your name, "36 Question Retard".
"Nice name," he chuckled. "should've seen it coming."
"I'm a very obvious person."
-
It must've been official that the 'test' was over when F/N came back, giggling as she heard the both of you laughing at another one of Matt's dumb comments.
"So I'm guessing it went well?" She interrupted your laughter.
"Dude your questions are fucking intense!" Matt exclaimed.
"Well I had to have you guys share the drama somehow."
"Of course we did. Of course."
"Anyways, I'm heading to bed since I'm fucking exhausted. Goodnight, idiots." F/N waved before disappearing from view.
"Oh damn, it's almost midnight. Guess I should head to bed as well." You looked over to the clock near you.
"Good idea." Matt replied, a bit bummed out you guys couldn't talk more. "Wanna hang out tomorrow?"
"Actually... I was thinking if we could go on a date? F/N was right for once, you actually are funny and nice and all the other things. I'd love to get to know you more, without the intense-ass questions and all." Matt smiled widely, nodding fast.
"Fuck yeah! But I honestly don't have much else to tell you, I literally shared my life story with you."
"Well then, enjoy each other's company. Maybe watch a movie?" You smiled back.
"Sounds like a plan."
As you walked him to the door, you tapped his shoulder before he could leave. Now or never, you thought to yourself as you pressed your lips against his, giving them a quick peck.
"Goodnight, Matt." You smiled tiredly as a blush made its way onto both of your faces.
"'night, Y/N." He said before kissing you, a bit longer than before. The feeling of his lips against yours lingered a bit, and you went to bed happily.
You didn't whine about not having a boyfriend ever again.
-
based off an article my friend sent me, here's the link!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.nytimes.com/2015/01/11/fashion/no-37-big-wedding-or-small.amp.html
- reese