A peaceful quiet had settled over the Gryffindor common room. The curtains had been drawn, and the only light came from the flickering fire. Hermione sat curled up in her favorite armchair by the fireplace, surrounded by books, quills, and pieces of parchment. An Herbology textbook rested on her lap, and she made careful notes as she read.
It was always better trying to study after everyone else had gone to bed. Ron and Harry were great company, but awfully distracting at times. Hermione stifled a yawn. It was late, and she knew that she had best get to bed, but she couldn't help trying to get a little bit more studying time in...
Suddenly she heard footsteps coming down the boys' dormitory stairs. She looked behind her, expecting Harry to appear. She knew that he often wandered downstairs when he couldn't sleep, and it seemed that lately he hardly ever slept.
"Harry, you really must try to get some sleep," she said, standing up to face him. But it was not Harry who stepped out of the shadows. It was Fred, looking rather disheveled in his striped pajamas and messy bed head. He was yawning and squinting in the light.
"I swear I tried, Mum. But you should have heard George's snores." He smiled good-naturedly at Hermione, who smiled back a little and returned to her position in the chair.
"What are you doing up?" she asked as she readjusted her notes on her lap. Fred wandered over and sat in the chair next to her. If he was surprised she was still awake, he didn't show it.
"I could ask you the same question." He yawned again. "But since you really seem interested, George actually was snoring up a storm. Normally it doesn't bother me, but tonight, it just kept me up." He shrugged.
"I understand. Lavender talks in her sleep," Hermione answered. Fred chuckled and looked at her spread on the table.
"Are you still studying?" He asked. Hermione nodded. "Ron mentioned once that your boggart was McGonagall telling you that you failed," he continued. "I don't know why you're always so worried. You're bloody brilliant.
Hermione felt her cheeks pinken slightly, and she hoped Fred couldn't see. "They're the O.W.L.s, Fred. Our futures depend on these." She turned back to the mess on the table and sighed.
"Hey, George and I only got 6 O.W.L.s total, and neither of us are worried about our future."
"Yes, but you wouldn't have to," Hermione answered before she could stop herself. Fred looked at her.
"What do you mean? Like I said, you're brilliant. You know all these subjects forward and backward and in and out of Merlin's left pocket. What are you worried about?"
Hermione looked at his concerned face, aware in the back of her mind that this was one of the few times she had ever seen Fred serious. Normally he and George were off goofing around or holed up in their dormitory making products.
"Well...you know you're going to be okay," she answered finally. She looked back at the fire. "You're a pureblood. And I'm..." she trailed off, looking back at Fred, who held his gaze on her. "You don't know what it's like being a muggle-born. Even as a first-year, I felt like I didn't belong. Like I had to prove myself and show everyone I had just as much right to be here as they did." She stopped and turned her gaze back to the fire, still flickering but getting lower.
She had never told anyone that before, not even Harry and Ron. She hadn't meant to tell Fred, either, but the way the flames flickered over his skin and reflected in his eyes had made it so easy. It felt easy telling him these things. Natural, even.
She thought about when Professor McGonagall had arrived at her doorstop on her eleventh birthday, nearly six years earlier. How suddenly every strange thing in her childhood had made sense. How she never quite felt like she fit in at her old school. How surprised but proud her parents had been to learn she was a witch. The excitement she had felt at the prospect of attending Hogwarts.
But beneath that excitement, way down where she had buried it so no one would ever find it, was a niggling shred of fear, of doubt, and of anxiety. What if she didn't belong at Hogwarts, either?
"Hey," he said quietly, pulling her out of her thoughts and back to him. "It's okay to be afraid." She looked at him in mild surprise. Everyone else had always told her to stop worrying, that she'd be fine, and she'd get a hundred and thirty percent on her exams as always. No one had ever told her it was okay to be afraid.
"Really," he continued upon seeing her expression. "It's hard to trust in yourself and know if what you're doing is right. George and I put up a big front of not caring, and we have our whole plan laid out and everything. But sometimes I wonder if we should have focused a little more on school." He shook his head and turned back to the fire. "Mum is always mentioning how Bill and Charlie and Percy are all doing so well, and then wonders aloud what she'll do with us. It gets...it gets old, you know?"
"But you've worked so hard," Hermione said. Now it was Fred's turn to look surprised. "You've both put so much effort into your products, and into the shop. And while I do think it's a bit of an inappropriate way to use magic-" Fred snorted. "-I can tell that, above all, you guys are extremely passionate about making people happy. And the world needs a little bit more of that, especially right now."
Fred nodded. "We think so too." He turned back to Hermione. "And the world also needs a witch as bright as you. You can honestly do anything. And I know I said it's okay to be afraid, because it is. But you need to know that it is going to be fine. You will be fine. Just learn to use fear as a motivator. Show it that it can't control you." He smiled. "And kick its arse."
Hermione smiled back at him. "Thank you, Fred."
"Absolutely," he replied. "And anyway, wizards tend to fancy the brainy girls." He winked.
Hermione felt her cheeks get warm again and she looked into the fire. "I don't think I'm the girl anyone tends to fancy," she whispered in a tight voice. Not that it mattered. She was there to learn, right? But even so, she sometimes secretly wondered why no one ever looked at her the way Harry had always looked at Cho, or the way Ginny looked at Harry.
"I don't know, mate. Viktor Krum seemed to think you were desirable, and he's world famous." He nudged her playfully. Hermione laughed.
"He really was lovely. He was certainly more of a physical being, though. We wouldn't have been good in the long run."
"But that didn't stop you from snogging him during the Yule Ball, did it?" Fred grinned. Hermione's mouth dropped open.
"You saw that?" She asked incredulously. "Oh no!" She hid her burning face behind her Herbology textbook. She could hear Fred laughing.
"Well you two weren't exactly being subtle. I'm surprised you were willing to make your first kiss so public, if I'm honest."
"Well, he just...he caught me off guard and I just kind of went with it," Hermione said, coming back out from behind the book. "Anyway, what does it matter? I saw you snogging Angelina practically the whole night."
"Sure, but it wasn't my first kiss," Fred answered.
"Who was?" she asked, then wondered why she wanted to know. Fred raised his eyebrows playfully, probably wondering the same.
"Bit private, don't you think?"
"You don't have to answer," she said quickly.
"Katie Bell. End of second year." He paused. "I wonder if that's why she decided to try out for the Quidditch team." Hermione chuckled. "Anyway, it's all water under the bridge now." He looked back at her. "But that doesn't mean you won't find someone who fancies you one day." He held her gaze a little too long but only patted her lightly on the knee. She felt herself turning pink for the third time. She suddenly turned her attention back to the table.
"I think we should probably get to bed; don't you think?" She busied herself with stacking up her books and rolling up her parchment. But one nervous slip of her hand knocked everything to the floor.
"Damn," she whispered. She and Fred bent over gathering her notes and quills. He handed her a stack of parchment and their hands brushed. She felt her stomach dip and her cheeks burned hotter. When everything was finally piled neatly on the table, they stood and faced each other, neither quite knowing what to say.
"You go on," she finally said. "I'm going to put everything back in my bag first." Fred nodded. He turned to go, and Hermione turned to her bag and started shoveling things in. But then she stopped when she realized he hadn't moved yet. She turned back to him.
"Hermione, I..." She looked at him, waiting. He hesitated for a fraction of a second, and suddenly he took her face in his hands and his lips were on hers. She stood there, momentarily stunned, but then she found herself kissing him back. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours even that they stood that way, but they kissed.
When they finally broke apart they were both blushing madly and neither of them knew where to look. They looked all around the room before making brief eye contact again. Hermione smiled a little and looked down at her feet.
"So uh...goodnight then, I guess," Fred finally said, smiling a little back at her.
"Goodnight," Hermione whispered. Or maybe she thought it. As she watched Fred retreat up the stairs, she smiled to herself again and finished packing her bag.