A/N- Okay hi, I know I've done one like this previously (the OG's will probably briefly remember) but I took it down shortly after. I want to redo it to a better standard that I'm happier with and I'm feeling hella inspired tonight, so enjoy! (video above is the readers (your) dance.
I finish brushing a quick layer of powder on my face, I was getting ready to go onstage and had to make sure the finishing touches were complete. I was wearing a sleek black wig that lay down my back in gentle curls. My makeup was, if I do say so myself, looking amazing, and my outfit in my opinion was on point. I was wearing a beautiful white dress with a corset top that pulled in my waist and made my curves pop whilst the bottom flowed from my waist into a light and breezy skirt (photo above). It was one of my favourites and one that was easy for me to move around in when doing a number whilst making me feel confident and beautiful. I slide my feet into a pair of plain white heels and make my way out to the main stage, the audience had been seated for around 10 minutes and I let a natural grin tug at my lips, nothing made me happier than performing. I make my way onto the stage and smile wider when the audience cheers loudly.
"Hello guys, gals and our otherwise identifying pals. My name is Parma, Parma Violet and tonight I'll be your opening act, for the past 7 nights and for the next 4, I'll be opening for the one and only Courtney Act!" I say, the audience whooping and whistling at the mention of Courtney.
"I agree, she is amazing. Well before I get started tonight I just wanna talk a bit, for those of you who know me, Hi, how are ya?" I say, my words a reference towards one of my favourite influencers, Jeffree Star. "And for those of you who don't, Hi, my drag name is Parma Violet and my real name is Y/F/N Y/L/N. I'm from Y/H/T (Your HomeTown). I like dogs/cats, my favourite season of drag race is F/S and I like to Dance, sing and write." I say, giving a brief introduction, there was no real reason for it but I liked to make that partial connection with the crowd, builds more of a relationship in my opinion. I kick my heels off, deciding to start with a dance, I walk to the centre of the stage as the start of 'Lady Marmalade' begins to play, I take a breath as I get into position. (Refer to video, I wont describe the dance really, I think its really good though so it'd be good if you watch it)
As the music plays I let my body get taken over, the smile on my face only leaving for a few brief moments when I focused really hard. I let me body twist and roll to complete my dance moves as I let the hoots from the crowd wash over me, it seemed to spur me on more as I completely lost myself. When the music drew to a stop I froze, my arm over my head as my body leaned slightly to the side. I let out a puff of air before I ear a roar of applause from the audience, I bite my lip and give them a huge smile.
"Aw thank you guys! Awh shucks I'm blushing" I say, my cheeks glowing a light pink as I walk to the front of the stage. "You guys are so sweet" When the cheers die down I smile and step back into my heels.
"So what shall I do next?" I ask. "Sing?" I hear a couple of whoops and take that as a yes.
"Okay, I'm thinking either... Dirty Diana or Jolene?" I say, deciding to let the audience decide, I partially expected Jolene to be chosen but was pleasantly surprised when most of the crowd called for the Michael Jackson classic.
The lights on the stage dim and the sole light focuses on me.
"You never make me stay
So take your weight off of me
I know your every move
So won't you just let me be
I've been here times before
But I was too blind to see
That you seduce every man
This time you won't seduce me" I had walked forward slowly, my eyes rake over the room full of people before I swiftly turn.
"She's saying that's okay
Hey baby do what you please
I have the stuff the you want
I am the thing that you need
She looked me deep in the eyes
She's touchin' me so to start
She says there's no turnin' back
She trapped me in her heart" Throughout the verse my hand travelled from my upper side to my lower side, when I finished the word 'heart' I yanked off my skirt swiftly. Revealing the top of my dress to be a corseted bodysuit.
"Dirty Diana, nah
Dirty Diana, nah
Dirty Di-ana, nah
Dirty Diana
Let me be!Oh no
Oh no
Oh no" and I continued my small, slow movements through the song. My voice carried so much passion and I put my all into it, just as I did every night. When I finished the song I made my way to the sidelines of the stage where a water bottle sat ready for me, I silently thanked whoever set it there before drinking half of it quickly. When I go back to centre stage I feel a lot more hydrated and energised. "Okay everybody, my time is almost over, the woman of the hour is gonna make an appearance soon! Enjoy the rest of the show everyone! Bye!" I say, waving at the audience who cheered loudly for me, the sound making my heart flutter, to know I had such an effect on people really warmed my heart. When I got backstage I made my way to one of the moderately sized dressing rooms, there was 5 rooms but at the moment only 2 were being used, one by me and one by Courtney. I spend the next ten minutes beginning to de drag, I had quickly washed off my makeup and had changed from my show outfit into a pair of black skinny jeans and a black tank, I put on a pair of plain black pull ons. Before I had the chance to do anything else my phone rings, I check the screen to see Brianna, she was one of the tour supervisors. I answer with a confused
"Hello?" I hear a sigh through the other side of the line.
"Y/N I need you to go next door and see if Courtneys ready, the others and I are spread throughout the studio and you're the closest person to her" She says, I nod, although she couldn't see.
"Sure, I'll tell her to move her ass" I say, a slight joke in my words. Throughout the past couple of weeks I had grown closer to Courtney, not too close but we shared a few jokes and we spoke comfortably. I hang up the phone and make my way out of my dressing room, I knock on the nearby door which I knew Courtney was behind.
"Courtney? you ready?" I ask, knocking on the door gently. I wait a moment without hearing an answer before I speak again
"Courtney? is everything okay?" I ask, as I strain my ears to listen out for some hint of life behind the door. When I heard a sniffle mere seconds later I wasn't sure how to react, I tap on the door twice again.
"Courtney? Whats wrong?" I ask, my voice slightly more worried. I hear a choked sob and immediately open the door, ignoring the small part of me that felt guilty for just barging in but I doubted Courtney would mind much. I follow the sniffling sounds and find her curled up under her makeup counter, she had her arms wrapped around herself and her eyes were slightly smudged with black. I could see the tear tracks from where I stood, when I enter she looks up at me and I can see the sadness heavy in her eyes.
"Oh Courtney" I let throw myself on the floor and scoot over to her, I pull my wig off and set it along with my bobby pins on a nearby counter, my long Y/H/C hair now lay free.
"Whats wrong?" I ask, taking her hand in mine, I didn't want to push the physical contact right now. She glances up at me, her wig was slightly awry but she still looked beautiful, tears and all.
"Talk to me" I say softly, she leans forward and buries her head in my shoulder much to my surprise. I put my unoccupied hand on her back and rub it comfortingly.
"I-I don't kn-know" she hiccups, pulling away, only enough to look up at me. "I... I don't know whats happening, I- can you please just hold me?" she asks, her vulnerability showing. I nod and pull her to me, not saying a word as I let her cry, as I hold her I send Brianna a quick message to ask her to stall the audience, I knew she'd figure something out, I hadn't given her more information than a small hiccup. I'm not sure how long it took exactly, it could have been 30 seconds or 15 minutes, but after an amount of time I feel the blonde pulling back. I look down at her soaked face and feel myself frown
"You wanna talk now?" I ask, my voice soft. She looks unsure for a moment and I give her hand a gentle squeeze. I notice she shoots me a half hearted smile
"I don't know what happened, I was getting ready and I posted a tweet about it, I was looking through at the amazing comments, a few bad ones came up, well, more than a few. Next thing I know I couldn't breathe, my heart was beating SO fast and I couldn't think of anything but those bad things" she says, my heart aches for her and I just give her another squeeze.
"Courtney, you shouldn't focus on the bad that people say, I know this wont help or stop you from thinking of those things but you are so much more than a twitter comment, or an Instagram post. You are an amazing human being and deserve every good thing thats happening for you. You're beautiful, and funny, and smart, and so goddamn nice" I say, partially unable to believe that people could be so horrible to this person. She gives me a part chuckle, part sigh and buries her face in her hands.
"I'm sorry to put this on you Y/N, I didn't think I'd get like this, I don't... I just don't think people realise how hard it gets ya know, I have to be a certain way, be my best self at all times and its tiring, especially on tour. I love it, I love the fans and the experience but people seem to forget I'm just a person, they expect a lot and I hate when I cant live up to that. Oh god, I've really fucked it this time, Im supposed to be on stage and not only is my hair fucked but my makeup is too" she sighs, I grab her hand and stand up, pulling her along with me. She teeters slightly in her heels but manages to stay upright.
"Sit in the chair and I'll fix this, ten minutes tops, then you'll be out on stage doing your thing. And Courtney, don't ever think you're not good enough or have to be this perfect person, people are lucky to have you, remember that" I say, not wanting to get too deep and make her emotional when I'm about to fix her makeup. She gives me a watery smile and I get to work, first I get a wet wipe and sort any smudged makeup, then I touch up her makeup to keep her painted, then I comb her wig back and with the help of hairspray and bobby pins I have it looking neat and tidy again. My phone buzzes in my pocket and when I check the screen Briannas name flashes, I take a breath and answer only to be immediately met with some frantic speaking. She was obviously panicking, I told her Courtney was ready and would be out in a minute, she wasn't impressed but I could sense her relief through the phone. When I turn back around Courtney is standing, I knew she'd be ready to leave in a moment.
"Thank you Y/N, really. I probably wouldnt have even made it on stage tonight if it wasn't for you, I doubt I'd have recovered so easily alone" she says, I smile and give her a quick but firm hug.
"Don't thank me, theres nothing to thank me for. Im glad I could help" I say, my cheeks flame a light red and I grab her perfume from her opened bag and spritz her. She shimmies her body in the spray and lets it soak into her outfit. I lead her out of the dressing room and to the stage, wishing her luck before she runs onstage, giving the crowd a huge grin and giving them a quick apology for being a bit late. If I didn't witness it then I wouldnt guess that she just had an episode, she looked amazing it a simple yet stunning outfit. I hear footsteps and see Brianna approaching me
"Hi" she says simply, I give her a nod in return, a small moment of silence passes before I speak
"Who did you get to cover?" I ask, she rolls her eyes
"I got Daryl to collect audience questions for Courtney, I'm gonna get her to do that at some point. What happened with her?" she asks, I don't say anything for a moment before biting my lip.
"I don't think I should really say, its not my place" I reply honestly, just watching as Courtney skips around the stage, communicating with her fans and performing. Brianna just nods, we stand together in silence as we watch our friend perform, although I've seen her perform many times I still find myself speechless sometimes. Around half an hour in Courtney sings another cover, this one a mash up, every now and then I'd catch her looking over at me, I always sent her a grin back as I cheer her on. Her energy as she dances around the stage really amazes me, just looking at how held together she is I understand a little bit more about the pressure she feels, she doesn't show anyone her struggles and it obviously builds up.
"Y/N can you take these to Courtney? she doesn't know about it yet" Brianna asks, holding out a small bundle of cards. I nod and take them from her, I peek out of the curtain and briskly walk to Courtney, the audience murmurs between themselves which alerts Courtney of my approach. She turns to me and smiles wide
"Hi Y/N!" the aussie says, when I get close enough she wraps her arms around me in a loose hug, I chuckle and return it, just happy to see the genuine happiness swimming in her eyes.
"Hey Courtney, Bri got the audience to give you questions, she wants you to do a Q&A" I say, knowing the audience cant hear me as I don't have a mic. She nods and gives me a small thank you as I take the cards, I turn to leave the stage when I feel her jokingly slap my ass. My eyes widen and I turn my head, I stick my tongue out at her and walk off stage as I hear her soft laughter.
"Isn't she just great guys? an amazing dancer too" she says, making the audience whoops a little. Brianna had walked off to do god knows what but I stayed in the wings, watching as Courtney briefly flicks through the cards.
"Okay! first question from Daniel H, hi Daniel! Okay, Daniel asks 'are you a top or bottom?" she says, a small chuckle bursting from her lips. "Well to be honest whatever bunks free" she says, I laugh along with the audience. The rest of the Q&A basically went like that, none of the questions were particularly juicy but Courtney answered them all the best she good. After she had answered the last question she sets the cards down
"Well guys, I'm almost done for tonight but before I go I want to do one last song, an original" she says, my eyebrows furrow slightly, she hadn't added another song to her set any other night. She turns her head and smiles at me
"Y/N, you coming?" she asks, my confusion only grows as she holds out her hand towards me, ignoring my apprehension I walk out towards her. She takes my hand and pulls her next to her, our arms linked.
"You wanna sing with me?" she asks, looking at me. My eyes widen slightly and I nod, she smiles excitedly and turns to the sound assistant waiting in the opposite side of the stage than I was.
"Can we get another mic please?" she asks, her voice sweet. I see the assistant walking out of sight, it only takes a moment until he's back, I detach from Courtney and meet him halfway to collect the microphone.
"Thank youu" I say, taking it and going back to Courtneys side. I wasn't sure what she was going to sing but I hoped it was one of her songs that I knew well. I see her slide her iPhone from her bra and she runs to the wings, leaving me onstage. Part of me felt slightly exposed being out here as ME and not Parma, part of me felt honoured that Courtney has me on stage with her as Y/N and not Parma. Before my thoughts could wander I notice Courtney coming back, she stood by my side and gently took my hand, lacing our fingers together. She nods her head at the awaiting sound assistant who turns to a large speaker, I'm guessing thats the one that connects all of the speakers. He presses something before I hear the familiar melody of 'Ugly'. I immediately realise the addition of the extra song, it makes so much sense. I turn to look at Courtney who met my gaze and offered my a hint of a smile, I return it and give her hand a light squeeze. This was personally one of my favourite songs from Courtney, I had always loved the meaning behind it, now I realised just how true it could be. Courtney brings the mic to her lips
"The sun is up and I'm coming down
It's been a while but I'm burning out
Flipping my fingers on the 5" screen
Novocain pictures, comfortably numb to the scene" She sings, her voice beautiful. She turns to me and I know its a cue.
"Tap it twice, if you like it
Tap it twice, if you like it
Think twice, you might not like it
Like it or not" I continue, Courtney meets my eye and shoots me a wink as we both get prepared to sing.
"Let you see the good if you know me
Show you all the bad if you love me
But oh who oh, Only I know the ugly
Let you see the good if you know me
Show you all the bad if you love me
But oh who oh, Only I know the ugly" The words carry so much meaning and I know we're both giving this our all. We continue like that throughout the whole song, our hands stayed tightly clasped and I found myself forgetting about the audience and just focusing on Courtney and I. I knew how much it meant to her and I wouldnt screw it up, I felt like I knew her a lot more than I did before. When we had sung the last words of the song there was a moment of silence which was soon drowned out by a deafening applause. I turn to Courtney who gave me a dazzling smile and pulled me in for a soft hug.
"Thank you" she whispers simply