Time Period: 'Bout a dozen years before the books, and all throughout them
I think that's fair
Name: Icenight, it's a mixture between the two tribes she's apart of
I try to be the nicest I can when rating these forms, but you're already making it infuriatingly difficult.
This name is really bad. This name is like naming an Irish-American human "IrishAmerican."
It's bad.
Not to mention incredibly lazy. Don't you people at least try to research?
Why not Zebra, since they're black and white? Or Leopard (I know they're not exactly white, but it still has a paler color + black)? The gem Sodalite, even (they're not exactly black + white, but they're generally a deep rich blue that looks black + white)?
How about Houndstooth? Dalmatian?
Or, how about a regular IceWing or NightWing name? I can suggest more. Just don't name your Ice/Night "ICENIGHT" for heavens' sake.
Age: 37 years
Okay. Makes sense.
Gender: female
Okay.
Sexuality: Bisexual
Alright.
Tribe: Ice/Nightwings
I hate this hybrid with a fiery passion (especially Ice/Nights with the name ICENIGHT), but we'll see where this goes.
Queen They Support: Doesn't really care
Okay.
Abilities: survive freezing temperatures/ extreme light, breath frost breath, breath fire
No. Choose one or the other. Frostbreath, or fire breathing?
Aside from that, there must be something else. I'm overjoyed there are no moon powers, you've got no idea, but there can be little things. Maybe a slight chill radiating from her scales? Slight night vision? That weird bacteria thing that NightWings have? Any other additional skills or talents, like playing the guitar or an artist or something?
Rank: None, never lived in a tribe
Weird way to words things. And anyway; Icenight (oh god I hate that name) can still be an outcast or something.
But that's boring and overused. Why don't they live in a town or Possibility, even? Scorpion Den? There are other options.
Appearance: large, muscular, looks like a IceWing but her main body is black and her icicles are blue with bright blue eyes
Okay. At least you mentioned the structure and height and scale color and eye color. But still; details on the scale color would be nice. Like, NightWings aren't actually strictly black. They usually have like purple or blue hues in their scales. Have you seen Starflight's image on the WoF wiki? He looks — no offense, Starflight — beautiful because of all those hues.
I recommend adding some hues here and there — and a bit more detail. What separates her from all the other Ice/nights?
Personality: very cold-hearted, brave, loyal, observant, un-trusting, protective, temper, kind to a extent
Good lord, where are the rest of her traits? Where are all her negative traits?
Look up some good personality traits. Determined and ambitious would be good places to start — but add more. Add so much more.
And give her negative traits, too. "Temper" is the only negative trait she has. Why not reckless? Snappy? Rude?
Also, this whole personality is by no means original, for the record.
Backstory: She was born with a twin named SnowyStar.
Better than Icenight, but still really bad. That sounds like a Warriors name, and this makes no sense at all. Why is the prefix and suffix capitalized? And since when were stars snowy?
Change this name, too.
There parents were nowhere to be seen.
Why? Did they just have a child and then yeet? Who were they? What happened?
Icenight and SnowyStar have been on their own since they can remember. They learned they were hybrids, their parents an IceWing and NightWing.
How? Who told them this?
Icenight had vengance in her heart. So, she set out to find her cowardly parents, and kill them
This is the worst backstory I've ever seen in my whole life.
This backstory is legit: she and her twin were night/ices and nightice set out to find her parents and kill em lolololol
There's nothing else? Really?
You know what? Just scrap this. This is horrible.
Residence: Multiple places, but most often the rainforest
Why wasn't this mentioned in the backstory? And if she's been in so many places, shouldn't something have happened in the THIRTY SEVEN YEARS SHE'S BEEN ALIVE??
Family:
Mother: Unknown (IceWing)
Father: Unknown (Nightwing)
But you, as the writer, know their story and what happened to them. Why.
SnowyStar- Looks almost exactly like Icenight, but with white icicles and light grey, almost white eyes
;;; okay
Seems really, really lazy, especially since they're obviously not identical twins
Mate: None
Alright.
Crush: None
Okay.
Dragonets: Nine
I'll just assume you meant "none."
Other: None
Okay.
Overall Review:
The Good Parts::
— The age is okay
The Bad Parts::
— The names. All of the names are bad; especially since we only have two, and there definitely should be more than two dragons mentioned in the whole form! No friends? No family members (you need to add their names, since they obviously exist)?
— The hybridism is unnecessary, overused, and annoying, ESPECIALLY when used as you have used it in this form.
— The abilities are strange, don't make sense, and need a lot more detail to be considered CLOSE to realistic.
— The rank is,, missing?
— Her personality isn't balanced and severely missing details and traits.
— The backstory is absolutely horrendous; it doesn't make sense and it's missing so much.
— SnowyStar's appearance is downright lazy
How To Improve + Suggestions:
SCRAP EVERYTHING.
My #1 suggestion:
Restart. Just... get rid of it all.
I've never seen a worse character.
I honestly tried to be nice throughout this form, but... couldn't do much with this one.
My Rating:
0/10
Originality: 0/25 (3 points knocked off for the name, 5 points knocked off for the hybridism, 10 points knocked off for the unoriginal backstory, 7 points knocked off for the unoriginal personality)
Realism: 0/25 (5 points knocked off for the name, 5 points knocked off for the hybridism, 10 points knocked off for the age + backstory, 2 points knocked off for the abilities, 3 points knocked off for SnowyStar's name and her appearance)
Interest: 0/25 (I'm not interested in this character)
Uniqueness: 0/25 (This character is not unique)