Callie's POV
"Billie."
Silence.
"Baby?"
A soft whine.
"Billie, please," I beg and she groans in frustration before rolling over to look at me, only opening one eye.
"What?"
"You need to get up. You have an interview, remember?"
She had ignored her first alarm completely, and I decided to let her because I know how tired she's been ever since her break ended. Interviews, mixers, meetings, intense new choreography, photo shoots, studio sessions and whatever the hell else they decide to make her do.
She's been working her ass off the past few weeks and she still has months of this kind of thing ahead of her, even though I can tell it's already starting to take a toll.
"I'm not going," she mumbles and buries her face back into the pillow. "Fuck them."
"I know it's exhausting, but you can't just ditch the interview, babe. You know how they'll spin that."
I reach out to rub and scratch her back gently, smiling softly when I feel her instantly relax under my touch. I let her enjoy it in silence for a few minutes before checking the time and seeing that we're really cutting it close.
"You really need to leave soon," I say softly and lean down to pepper her cheek with kisses until she squirms away from me with a smile.
"I just want to stay with you all day. It's your last day here," she says with a sigh, her brief smile disappearing. My quarter break is up, meaning that tonight I have to head back to my dorm to be ready for classes starting again tomorrow. "I'm already tired of all this publicity and tour prep shit."
"I know, baby, but think about the pay off. Soon you'll be on stage in front of thousands of happy fans every night again."
"Yeah, but then I won't be with you," she replies and my heart sinks.
We haven't talked in depth about the fact that when Billie leaves for tour it means we won't be seeing each other in person for months, and I've been dreading the conversation.
I was hoping it wouldn't be a problem for a while, but the tour ended up being planned for way sooner than either of us expected, which means we have to confront the issue sooner than either of us wanted. It also means Billie is being forced to work her ass of to prepare for it in such little time, which is clearly taking a toll on her physical and mental health.
"Don't think about that," I reply, attempting to shrug it off.
"I can't not think about it, Cal! You've been keeping me sane these past few months and now I'm not going to see you or hold you or kiss you for months!" Her eyes start watering and I frown, pulling her in for a tight hug.
She nuzzles into my neck and hugs me back just as tightly while I rub her back soothingly.
"I can't do the interview today," she mumbles into my neck after a little while and I just nod slightly before pulling away.
"I'll go tell your mom you're sick. Look the part by the time we get back," I say and kiss her cheek gently, making her smile softly.
I get out of the bed and put on some sweatpants to cover up my bare legs before heading downstairs, finding Maggie in the kitchen.
"Good morning," I say and smile slightly, watching as she grins back at me.
"Good morning, sweetheart. Is Billie ready?"
I shake my head and sigh. "I think she's too sick to do the interview, she looks terrible."
Fat lie, Billie always looks fine as hell.
She frowns and we both go back upstairs to check on her. I have to hold back a laugh when I see that while I was downstairs Billie had sprinkled a bunch of tissues all over her bed, messed up her hair completely and wrapped herself up in all her fuzzy blankets to make it look like she's colder than she should be.
"Oh, honey," Maggie frowns and sits down on the edge of the bed, bringing her hand up to Billie forehead. "You're burning up!"
Wonder how she pulled that off.
"I can still do the interview," Billie rasps and I bite back a laugh again. She sounds really convincing.
"No, absolutely not. You need rest," Maggie says and shakes her head as she gets off the bed. "I'll call your managers then bring you up some tea."
"I can do it," I chime in and smile slightly. "I'll take care of her, you do whatever you had planned for today."
"Such a sweetie," Maggie says with a smile and pinches my cheek. "I'll check in on you two later, but I have a lot of phone in meetings today. You come get me if you need anything though, okay? You're more important."
We watch her leave and I can't help but smile to myself, what an amazing woman.
"I feel bad for lying to her, she's so damn kind," I say with a chuckle once I know she's out of earshot and Billie nods.
"Yeah, me too."
I sit down on the edge of her bed and lean in to peck her lips gently.
"You look so cute wrapped up in all those blankets. Like a little penguin."
I take out my phone to take a picture and when I see how cute it is I immediately set it as Billie's contact picture.
"Don't call me cute, bro," she says and scrunches her nose, making me chuckle.
"Then don't be cute," I reply and lean in to kiss her again, for longer this time. She cups my cheeks sweetly as we kiss and I can't help but smile against her lips. I'll just never get over how it feels to kiss this amazing girl.
"Cal?"
"Yeah?"
"I think I was promised some hot tea," she says and I roll my eyes playfully.
"Coming right up, princess."
Around noon, Maggie comes in to check on Billie again. She finds us cuddled up with a pile of blankets surrounding us, watching The Princess Bride on Billie's laptop in front of us. It's my favorite movie to watch when I'm sick, so I figured it was fitting for a fake sick day.
"Callie, you'll get sick!" she says with a gasp and I shrug. Even if Billie was actually sick I'd still cuddle her like this. Germs be damned.
"Oh well," I reply and she shakes her head in amusement.
"I'm making some soup for lunch," she says and Billie perks up at the thought of food. "Do you think you'll be up for a session with your choreographer this afternoon?"
Billie shakes her head quickly. "Definitely not. If I move around too much I'll fucking hurl."
I frown slightly to myself. I thought she'd at least go to dance rehearsal. She loves to dance, she always talks about how it's one of her escapes.
Once Maggie leaves the room I stop Billie from unpausing the film and turn to look at her.
"You don't even want to dance?" I ask with a pout and brush some hair off of her forehead and out of her eyes.
She shakes her head slightly and looks down. "It's just not fun anymore, you know? Dancing is supposed to be fun on top of the challenge, but the new tour choreographer is such a dick."
She lets out a sigh and looks up again. "I miss the days before I blew up," she says quietly, clearly upset. "I miss recording all my songs in Fin's bedroom instead of some fancy studio, I miss doing choreo with my own company instead of some random asshole I don't know that runs his shit like a boot camp. I miss smaller venues and crowds, and not getting recognized fucking everywhere I go."
Her shoulders slump and she looks down at her lap, fiddling with her fingers anxiously.
"I'm sick of all the baggage that comes with being famous, but I feel like I should just shut up and be grateful for what I have."
"You don't need to just shut up, Bil. You're still just a normal person who's allowed to feel these things." I reach out to stroke her cheek gently and she sighs again, leaning into my hand.
"I'm so tired, Callie."
"I know, baby. I know." I lay back on the bed then wrap my arms around Billie, pulling her close. Her back is pressed against my front and our fingers lace together after I drape my arm over her waist. "It'll be okay. I know it's hectic now, but it will all be worth it, I promise."
"I wish you could come on tour with me," she whispers sadly and lifts our hands up to her mouth so she can gently kiss my knuckles.
"I'll call you every night. I know it's not the same as being with each other, but it's something."
"Maybe some weekends you c-" before she can finish her thought, her bedroom door flies open as Finneas barges in excitedly.
"Billie I just wrote som-" he cuts himself off when he sees us spooning on the bed, one of his eyebrows raising. "Oh, sorry."
"It's fine, Fin. You weren't interrupting anything," Billie mumbles and pulls away from me so she can sit up. "What were you saying?"
He looks between the two of us skeptically before shaking it off and smiling excitedly again. "I just wrote such a good song, I need you to sing it, like, now!"
She perks up and immediately gets out of her bed, practically running with Fin to his room.
I smile to myself, glad to see her smile genuinely like that after being so upset all morning.
I get up and follow them, sitting down on Fin's desk chair while they sit on his bed. Fin sets up some equipment and grabs his guitar while Billie reads over the lyrics on the notebook page in front of her, a small smile gracing her lips as she does.
"This is amazing, Fin!" she says excitedly and he smiles widely.
This is Billie in her element. No managers, no outside producers, no fancy equipment; just her and Fin in a tiny bedroom messing around with the equipment they saved up to buy themselves. She's clearly so happy here, it makes me smile.
They play around with the song until Maggie comes up with some soup for all of us, which I gratefully take.
Billie sets hers down then heads down the hall to the bathroom, leaving me and Finneas alone with our soup.
"So when I barged in earlier," he starts and I internally groan. Here we go. "What was going on there?"
I chuckle and look over at him. "It's this thing called cuddling. You should try it with your friends sometime."
He gives me a look. "There's cuddling and there's cuddling. What I saw was cuddling."
I just shake my head in amusement. "I don't know what you're trying to insinuate but I can assure you, all you saw was me comforting my sick friend."
He sighs and looks at me seriously. "I'm gonna be blunt, I feel like there's something more going on between you and my sister. I could be way off base, but if I'm right and you're keeping it from me, I hope it's not because you guys think I wouldn't accept it. I'll support Billie no matter how she identifies or who she dates, and for the record I think you'd be amazing for her. I don't want to talk to her about it until she's ready though, so I'm kinda stuck."
Before I can respond, Billie walks in and looks between the two of us.
"Woah, weird vibe in here. What are you guys talking about?" she plops onto the bed and picks up her bowl of soup from the tray on the side table.
"School stuff," I reply.
"Music," Finneas replies at the same time and Billie raises an eyebrow.
"Okay..." she trails off and looks between us suspiciously. "What's going on?"
"Finneas was just telling me about some girl he's into," I lie and he gives me a slight look before glancing at Billie.
"And why don't I know about this girl?" Billie asks with a gasp and Finneas sighs, realizing he's going to have to make something up.
After eating lunch and spending a bit more time on Fin's new song, Billie and I head back to her room.
She shuts the door then runs over to the bed as I get in, jumping on top of me.
I groan and fall onto the bed on my stomach with a laugh. "Babe, that hurt," I mumble into the sheets and she just giggles, nuzzling into my neck.
"Don't be such a wuss," she mumbles against my skin before starting leave gentle kisses on my neck.
I let out a soft sigh and relax under her, savoring the feeling of her soft lips on my neck.
"Billie," I mumble after a little while. "We need to talk about something and I don't want you to freak out."
She immediately pulls away from me and I roll over to see a concerned look on her face. "What is it?"
"Fin's catching on," I say, getting straight to the point. "He's pretty convinced we're more than friends."
"What? What the fuck did you say to him?" she asks angrily and I frown, reaching for her hand. She pulls it back and I sigh in frustration.
"I didn't say anything, it's not my place to tell him what's going on. But maybe you should. It's Fin, it's not like he's going to tell anyone or not accept you."
"I'm not ready," she says and crosses her arms with a huff. "We have to start being more careful around him."
"Are you serious?" I ask in disbelief and shake my head. "We're already careful, I don't think I can be any more careful. I'm going out of my mind as it is, Bil."
"Maybe if you say you're dating someone else..." she thinks out loud, completely ignoring me.
"Billie, that's ridiculous," I mumble and she glares at me slightly.
"Do you have any better suggestions?"
"Tell him!" I say, exasperated at this point. "For fuck's sake, it's Fin! There's no reason not to!"
"Me not being ready is the only reason I fucking need. I know he won't care if I'm gay or bi or whatever the fuck I am. I know he won't tell anyone. But I haven't even figured out all these feelings I'm having, I'm not ready to come out and confront them all with my brother before I can even properly make sense of them myself."
I sigh in defeat. She's right, this is all supposed to be about when she's ready. She's the one going through a confusing time of self discovery and constant questioning, which I selfishly keep forgetting.
"I'm sorry, you're right," I mumble and both of us start to calm down a bit with that statement. "I shouldn't be pushing you to tell people, I understand what it's like to be terrified to confront feelings like this."
"I'm sorry too, I know I get too paranoid sometimes. You don't need to pretend to date someone else, but maybe we should tone down the PDA just a little bit in front of Fin."
"Deal," I say quietly and we both look at each other with semi-sad smiles. "I hate how hard this is."
"Me too," she says quietly and scoots closer to me. "I think it's worth it though."
"Me too."
She takes my hands and I look down at them for a second before looking up at her again, treading carefully when I say, "Don't take this as me rushing you, but do you have any idea how long it will take you to start telling people?"
She frowns slightly and shakes her head. "I don't know. Some days I feel fine about it and think I could easily tell my family and close friends, but other times it's really scary and the thought of telling anyone makes me want to die."
I chuckle, "Sorry, it's not funny. It's just exactly how I felt when I was building up the courage to tell people."
I lift one of my hands and rub the back of her neck sweetly, the way she likes. She smiles slightly and plays with my fingers on my hand that's still in her lap.
"Take as much time as you need, I'll be with you every step of the way," I say softly and lean in to place a gentle kiss on her lips.
"You're too good to me," she mumbles when I pull my lips away and I shake my head.
"Don't say that. I'm doing what I should be doing, giving you time to figure things out your own way."
"I just feel like such an asshole for working so hard to keep you a secret, you deserve so much better than that."
I sigh and squeeze her hand tightly, my other hand still gently rubbing the back of her neck. "Billie, I'm so happy with you. I wish we could be more public, yes, but if I really thought I deserved better I'd leave. I'm still here, want to know why? Because I fucking love being with you, despite everything else."
"I fucking love being with you too," she says quietly and I smile.
"I love being with you and you love being with me, that's all we need to know. We'll get through the other stuff together. Yeah?"
"Yeah."
A/N
My boy('s being sus) helped me edit and proofread this chapter lol get you a mans that helps you write fanfic about other people
Question: WHEN WE ALL FALL ASLEEP, WHERE DO WE GO?
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