The Vigilante's Handbook (Mis...

By thespacedork

187K 10.2K 2K

The first rule of Superhero School: Don't call it Superhero School. Anna Green is not good at Superhero Schoo... More

extended summary
One: Superhero 101
Two: I Am a Human Refrigerator
Four: Laser Tag or WW3?
Five: Don't Bring a Gift to a Gun Fight
Six: An Emotional Gunshot Victim
Seven (Part 1): Learning How to Punch My Peers
Seven (Part 2): The Awful Outcome
Eight: Someone's in Trouble
Nine: I Still Hate Your Guts
Ten: Five Year Plan
Eleven: I'm Not a Hoarder
Twelve: Sudden Credibility
Thirteen: Hello? Anyone There?
Fourteen: Psychoanalyzing My Classmates
Act 2
Fifteen: This Is Not a Democracy
Sixteen: Words of Betrayal
Seventeen: Oh No, She's a Morning Person
Eighteen: Just a Little Dangerous
Nineteen: This Is a Democracy
Twenty: Are Break Up Dates a Thing?
Twenty One: Please Stop Trying to Kill Me
Twenty Two: No Grey Relationships
Twenty Three: Trespassing
Twenty Four: Are We in Agreement?
Twenty Five: Think Like a Delinquent, Act Like a Hero
Twenty Six: Be Kind to Your Waiters
Twenty Seven: What Broken Nose?
Twenty Eight: Communication Skills
Twenty Nine: Picking Up Strays
Act 3
Thirty: Brother-Sister Confidence
Thirty One: They Dirtied Our Floors and Stepped on Our Nerd
Thirty Two: I Need a Friend with Me
Thirty Three: Alone
Thirty Four: I've Been Messing with You
Thirty Five: Fighting My Best Friend (Again)
Thirty Six: Even Superheroes Need Ice Cream
Introducing the Newest Vigilantes in Summersville
Thirty Seven: We Weren't Friends Then
Thirty Eight: The Conspiracy
Thirty Nine: Don't Do Drugs
a brief author's note
Forty: Anything But Simple
Forty One: The Impact
Forty Two: Ellie
Forty Three: I Love You Guys
read me!
Forty Four: Clean Up Crew
Forty Five: Queen of the Misfits
A SURPRISE SEQUEL
Q&A + The Future of TVH
HALLOWEEN SPECIAL

Three: Persuasion Only Works If People Like You

7.1K 308 90
By thespacedork

I woke in the Nurse's Office recovery room. The narrow room was what visitors would see if they asked to tour Paramount Lake without having proper knowledge of just how "troubled" us students were.

There were two cots shoved against opposing walls with just enough space between them to make a walkway. The walls were covered in posters of cute animals and cheery yellow wallpaper so old it must have been here long before Paramount Lake became Paramount Lake. The animals on the posters had eyes just large enough to be more unsettling than cute. Speech bubbles sprouted from their heads saying stupid things like, "Laughter is the best medicine." I would argue that some superpowered healing from Mona was the best medicine, with modern science coming in at a close second, but what did I know.

This was the side of Paramount Lake that unauthorized visitors saw: A run-down boarding school with no prestigious alumni, halls mostly full of charity cases, and students with more close brushes with the law than a mobster who was terrible at his job.

Campus was full of these brightly colored facades that hid the vigilante equipment. Normal classrooms could be turned into sparring rings in minutes, the school board meeting room was more secure than Air Force One, and the evil laboratory was hidden behind posters of stupid animals.

Miguel was also waiting in the recovery room on the paper-covered cot across from mine. His Nothing Syringe usually wore off before mine. Apparently I was "especially susceptible to its adverse effects," according to Dr. Freddie.

Although he was awake, Miguel's eyes were squinted shut with so much force that it looked like he was in pain. His usual vague frown-smile had been replaced with a grimace. I called this state of his being caught in a thought ambush. They happened often enough that I had time to come up with a suitable name.

He would be sitting there, silently contributing to the conversation as usual. The next second, he was even further removed. Usually, even if he wasn't actually paying attention to what I said, he was good at pretending. The thought ambushes tripped up his acting for a few minutes. Eventually he would come back around, shake his head like his brain was a snowglobe, and tune back in with his ever-attentive nods, shrugs, and body language.

"How long have you been waiting for me?" I asked as soothingly as possible. Soothing wasn't my default, but I learned it was best not to startle Miguel when he got like this. That just ended with him acting more sullen than usual, and I didn't want to deal with that. Also a good friend like me didn't want him to be sad because I care about his well being blah blah blah.

The grimace on his lips pulled into a strained frown-smile and his eyes blinked open, once, twice. His pupils dilated and retracted until he could properly focus on me. In response to my question, he pointed at the clock about the door. It read a quarter to six. If I had stepped into the Nurse's Office half an hour after class got out at three that I meant I had spent the better part of two hours under the effects of the Nothing Syringe. It was a little longer than my average time spent under its mind-numbing spell. Nothing to be concerned about. Definitely nothing in need of reporting to the lab staff.

Especially not now that I had finished my last physical ever.

Miguel saw my grin growing when I said, "Thanks for waiting for me."

He knew that wasn't the thing causing my excitement. I could see it written out plain as day in the way his eyes darted around my face, searching for a more sufficient answer.

"And congratulations on enduring our last physical before we graduate." His whole body stopped moving for a second as the realization struck him, then there was a smile to himself and a nod. He reached out a hand that I slapped with a high five. "We are free soon-to-be vigilantes, my man."

He got to his feet and reached out his hand again, this time to pull me up from my cot. The paper beneath me crinkled uncomfortably loud in the silent halls of the General Building. The only people left on this side of campus were the evening janitors and the two of us.

The younger students had been shepherded to their dormitories on campus or allowed to play outside near the dorms. Our class was probably all the way across the city to East Lincoln where our off-campus housing was located. The teachers were wherever they went when they weren't pouring useless information down our throats.

It was a lonely thought, and I found myself walking closer to Miguel as we left the building. He didn't seem to notice.

We pushed through the polished double doors of the General Building. On either side of the stone steps leading down from the doors were marble lions lying in rest, remnants of the college campus that Paramount Lake had been a few decades ago.

I remembered walking into the General Building for the first time as a tiny Anna with dirty brown hair and wide-eyed fear. I had looked at those lions like they might pounce on me and rip me apart with their powerful jaws. I wasn't a pleasant child.

Three years later, Eleanor had told everyone about my secret fear after one of our rare fights so Ariana brought the marble behemoths to life, which resulted in the most terrifying two minutes of my life and one missing paw that had fallen off in a freak freezing accident.

I grabbed Miguel by the arm as we passed under their watchful gaze. He tensed under my grip for only a second, and his eyes shifted toward the lions.

"I'm not scared of them." He looked skeptical. "Okay, maybe never seeing them again is my favorite part of graduating, but that's not the point. I stopped you because I remembered something important."

A roll of his eyes said that he didn't believe me, but he motioned for me to continue.

"What time is it again?"

He wasn't wearing a watch, so he grabbed my wrist and pulled it up to his eye line so he could check my super watch. (Not actually super, but it did count my steps. All vigilantes come from humble beginnings).

"Exactly. Nearly six. And do you know what starts at seven?" I didn't wait for him to not respond. "The game! Our last game at the academy and we are so dead if we're late."

I started to tug him along to the bus terminal so we could head to the arena the school had rented out. Miguel didn't budge.

"Excuse me, mister, but you are coming to the game. I don't care if you don't like it." He tried to pull away from me, but I held firm. For being a human giant who easily cleared six feet with the widest shoulders known to man, Miguel wasn't particularly strong. Or he was holding back because he secretly loved our games but admitting that would ruin his carefully curated facade.

"Please!" I whined. "Mona would kill me if I showed up late without a good reason. But if I show up with you I become the school hero for two seconds before everyone remembers that I used the s-word in Freyson's class today."

A smile broke across his face.

"Yes, I called us superheroes. You know I hate that rule." I tugged again. This time his feet started moving after me but only because he looked on the verge of a fit of giggles.

"Shut up."

"Just because you aren't saying anything, doesn't mean I can't tell you to shut up."

"Don't look at me like that. Shut up does not count as swearing."

"Oh, get off your high and mighty horse, stupid head."

"Yes, I did just call you a stupid head, because you deserved it."

Sometimes talking with Miguel felt like having a conversation with myself.

The bus was just pulling away from the stop when we got there. It stopped half a block down when the driver saw Miguel frantically waving his hands above his head and me shouting bloody murder for it to slow down. We sprinted to the door. Onboard, Miguel swiped his bus pass, once from him, once for me, and we were on our way to the bad part of town and the most competitive part of Paramount Lake.

The game to end all games was held in the back of Pirate Nick's Nifty Nickelcade solely because our usual place was already booked for the night. A fun fact about Pirate Nick's: it was meant for children. I could tell that much from the outside. It was definitely not up to our usual standard.

Even though Miguel and I rocked up to the game fifteen minutes late, we found the rest of our class waiting outside on the sidewalk.

Mona intercepted us before we could join the group.

"Nice of everyone to wait for us. I didn't think they liked either of us that much."

She pushed us further from the crowd. "Don't delude yourself. You are still one of the misfits. But if you like your boyfriend at all, then you need to save him immediately. You missed the whole drama. Julien and Valentine's parents picked out and booked the place. Julien knew they picked this place, Valentine did not. It is a mess and now it's your job to fix it." She spoke so rapidly that I had trouble following what she was saying.

I scanned our peers for Julien. He was standing by himself, looking distressed, and texting rapidly. My phone wasn't buzzing, his twin was only a few feet away, and his best friend, Aleksei, was right next to him. That meant he was texting his parents trying to remedy the situation. It was sweet that he thought he could get it done without my help.

"What do I need to do?"

"If you could convince everyone to go inside the situation will fix itself."

"Everyone inside. Okay. I can do that," I said.

Next to me, Miguel cracked his knuckles, as if the plan was for us to force our classmates into Pirate Nick's.

"I appreciate the offer, but you couldn't get one person inside with brute force. You're a sweetheart, but we all know that both of your cousins, Malee, and Mona could beat you without trying. You against eleven Gifted doesn't get us anywhere."

He winked to let me know he was joking. Thank goodness, because I wasn't. Miguel was useless in a fight.

"Give me five minutes, and we'll be playing the game to end all games." I shooed Miguel off to stand by his cousins and support whatever plan I formed from a distance. Mona stuck by me as I surveyed what I had to work with.

In colorful bubble lettering, a sign taped in the window boasted that the nickelcade was the perfect venue for your toddler's birthday party. Even Stitch, the baby of our graduating class at only sixteen, was too old for this place.

Naturally, I wanted to put on a false smile, cheer, and have everyone excitedly follow me into the nickelcade. The blame for this awful night would be off my boyfriend's back.

That wasn't going to work though. The only universe in which that plan would work would be a different one where people liked me. In this universe, they didn't. The power of suggestion needed a trusted person behind it, even if the suggestion was as unimportant as having age-appropriate fun.

Among my peers, I was not a trusted person. I could count on a few to follow my lead without questioning it. Julien, Miguel, Mona, maybe even Stitch only because he was easily swayed, though he rarely put himself in a position that aligned with mine.

But I needed a majority to get everyone into the building and off of the dark streets where we would get a citation from the local police for being those hooligans from Paramount Lake. It was a reputation earned after years of gift-caused accidents. Being called an academy for troubled youth didn't help fight the stigma.

What I needed was Valentine, because everyone liked Valentine. Well, everyone except Mona liked Valentine, but Mona liked me and was desperate to get everyone into Pirate Nick's. Our combined endorsement would be enough to convince everyone to have a good time.

I sighed as I made my way to Valentine, who was leaning against the side of the arcade with her phone pressed to her ear and angry French coming out of her mouth. Getting to her meant passing Julien. As much as I wanted to, I couldn't very well ignore my boyfriend while I was trying to fix his mistake.

"Juli, I'm going to fix this."

He lit up when he saw me. I couldn't help but smile. "Anna, thank goodness," he said as he pulled me into a hug. Then there was a blur of French and English, but I got the gist of it. He was grateful that his guardian angel/the best girlfriend of the year had shown up to bail him out. I squeezed his hand before continuing on to Valentine. He followed like a lost puppy.

"I need you to get everyone inside," I said.

She didn't pause her phone call. "We're not supposed to use our gifts off campus."

"Then it is a good thing I don't need you to use your gift." Translation: Please, for the love of all present eardrums, please do not start singing. "I just need you to sound excited and everyone will follow."

Malee, Valentine's right hand and possibly the scariest person I had ever met, looked at me like my plan was crazy. She whispered something to Valentine in Thai. I really needed to start learning more languages so I could understand when my classmates said rude things.

"You think I can make a kiddy arcade sound appealing?" That wasn't exactly what I was counting on, but I couldn't tell her that I was counting on her social position to temporarily upset the status quo.

So I answer, "Of course you can! You're Valentine Moreau."

She preened at the compliment. Predictable. Then she cleared her throat like she did whenever she was about to start screeching--ahem, singing. Fortunately for us all, when she opened her mouth no ears started to bleed because she was simply speaking. "I am going to trash all of you at laser tag." Her voice rose above the quiet din of conversation.

For a few seconds her words fell flat and she almost looked to me for reassurance. A mistake as fatal and using the s-word in a rousing speech during Miss Freyson's class.

Lucia, the closest thing I ever hoped to have to an arch-nemesis, saved the night. She was a well-muscled, dark skinned girl who I had never seen smile in my presence. And Miguel's cousin, which put us in an awkward position, but not awkward enough to force us to become friends. We had an unspoken rule to not seriously maim each other. Nothing else was off the table. "I doubt you'll even get a shot on me," she shouted after Valentine.

And suddenly the graduating class was abuzz with bets and jeers and general excitement. In seconds they made their way into Pirate Nick's Nifty Nickelcade like there has never been a problem to begin with.

Lucia brought up the rear with Miguel and Diego, all three intimidating-looking cousins. Miguel gave me a subdued smile in lieu of a congratulatory high five. It was the most I could get out of him when Lucia was around. Or he was challenging me to a round of laser tag. Sometimes it was difficult to decipher his looks when I didn't have his words to confirm his meaning. Regardless, I bowed my head in a subtle sort of curtsy, my sign of acceptance of whatever he meant.

Lucia saved me the trouble of picking apart the haughty look on her features. For all of her flaws, she never made me play guessing games. With what could only be described as a comic book sneer as the three walked past me, I heard her whisper, "You're welcome."

am I living vicariously through my characters again because I really want to play laser tag? probably. but I don't think I could keep up with the game in the next chapter!

-m nicole

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