CHAPTER 3
Don't let it get to you Marissa. That is exactly what they want. I kept telling myself this as I walked into the corridor. Even though I was walking fast with my eyes pasted on the ground, I could just feel their eyes trained on me. Some of them were whispering, some were trying to hold back giggles. I was not going to get all teary and make a fool of myself in front of all these people. I practically ran to my first class- history.
Two more days left until the summer holidays, everyone was excited. Except for me. The lesson began and I took notes carefully. At the end of it, Mrs Charles, our teacher, dropped the bomb. We had to do a project on World War 1 over the holidays..with a partner. She went over the details and started pairing up us.
"And Ethan Reed, you're working with," Mrs Charles looked through her list. Those few seconds I hoped he got some idiot, I bet he would be happy to work with that Rebecca girl since they're both exactly the same. Jerks. "Marissa."
What?! No, I am not working with him. Not after what he did to me. I look at the back row where he sits and I can see he looks baffled. He meets my glare and I look away. I am so not working with that backstabbing jerk.
I just couldn't wait for the bell to ring. I could hardly wait until I could jump off my seat, go up to Mrs Charles and demand to change partners. If that wasn't possible, I'd be more than happy to work on my own. I had a little speech planned out in my head already.
The bell rang and I did exactly what I had in mind. I waited for the rest of the students to leave, I could see Ethan was doing the same.
"Can I help you two?" Mrs. Charles inquired.
Before I could say anything, Ethan stated, "I'm certain Marissa here doesn't want to work with me. So we were hoping you could assign us to different partners."
He sounded so sure, so precise, I wanted to add something but there wasn't much else to say. I couldn't find my little speech, even when I searched through my head frantically. The teacher raised her eyebrows at me as if confirming whether it was true. I simply said,
"I feel the same way. Please miss, there really is no way I can work with him."
I could feel the anger rising within me as I remembered how I felt when after waiting three bloody hours and the sinking feeling within me when the waitress told me they were closing. But right now as I quickly glanced at him, he seemed so different. Maybe because we were in front of a teacher. Urgh I'm so stupid. He hates me, I hate him. He's not a friend, he's an enemy, just like the rest of his gang.
"Well kids, I'd love to help you out but I'm afraid changing partners is not possible.."
I cut her off desperately saying, "Thats fine, we could work on our own, we're both better off that way. Right?"
I looked up at Ethan, raising my brows. And then something happened which I didn't quite understand. Ethan looked back at me as if he was in pain, guilt blazed in his dark eyes. I couldn't believe it. No. No. Im just imagining this. He's Ethan Reed, he's the reason I spent the night on a bench dripping wet. I looked at him with hate, merciless. I knew he wasn't sorry, he'll just go back to his friends and tell them how he totally fooled me with that one look. If he really thinks that's going to happen, then he has no idea who he's dealing with. I glared at him until he looked away.
"If that's what you want." He finally replied, his voice hoarse.
I eyed the teacher hopefully.
"Kids, I don't think it would be fair to the other students to just let you two work on your own. I'm sure there are other pairs who are not fond of each other, but they're dealing with it. And so should you two. And Mr Reed, I believe there is a lot you can learn from Ms. Miller."
Like some of his friends, Ethan wasn't good at his studies. But there was something about him which puzzled me. It wasn't just that he was one of those boys who preffered sports rather than academics. I had heard him answers questions correctly in class. But he always got low grades in tests. I guess it was probably because he never bothered to study.
No way am I going to work with him. Just when I thought life couldn't get and worse. I didn't want to seem rude to Mrs. Charles so I hurriedly murmured 'thanks for your help' before stomping out of the classroom.
This past year, I had actually enjoyed doing holiday homework; it gave me an excuse to spend less time with my aunt and uncle. And plus, it was usually to make posters and presentations. I didn't understand why other students groaned at hearing of holiday homework; to me it was a chance to get creative. But then again, they probably have better things to do like partying, travelling or just hanging out with their families.
However, this year, the sweet Ms. Charles has decided to pair us for this project. And now it is basically my worst nightmare. What could be worse than spending your vacations working with the one person you tried to avoid after a certain incident? Nothing. This is absolutely the worst case scenario. Not that I was planning to do it of course. I know Ethan doesn't really care about his grades so I'm going to ditch the project. I have never done this before and I know it could have a big impact on my grades but anything's working with the backstabber.
"Marissa, wait up!" I turned around to see Ethan running towards me. As soon as I saw it was him, I continued walking. I kept telling myself 'he is the reason you cried your heart out and slept on a hard bench with wet clothes on.' The bitterness returned with much more force than before. I had so much anger in me. I had never been a physically violent person, but right now all I wanted to do was hurt him. My hands were balled up in fists and I tried to walk faster but he caught up with me. Then, I felt someone tugging at me on my elbow. How dare he touch me? I tried to shake him off but he was stronger than me. He dragged me into the backyard of the school. No one came here. What was he doing? This could only mean one thing. I started panicking.
"What are you doing! Let go of-" then he put his hands over my mouth and started talking in an urgent voice,
"Look, I'm sorry. I really am. I'm tired of being like this. You most likely think I'm the biggest jerk ever. And I probably am. I know it was wrong of me to do what I did. At first I thought it was just a joke but when you didn't show up the next day it wasn't funny anymore. And it only got worse when Rebecca said you didn't show up last night at all. You didn't return home. What made me realise what a big sin I did was when I saw how carelessly she said it. Like she couldn't care less if you committed suicide that night!" he grimaced at the end of his little speech, breathless. Letting go of my hand, he just looked at me, with that same expression I saw on his face in class. Burning with guilt.
I know he was waiting for me to say something. But I wasn't sure what the right thing to say was. It may look like I was just staring at him, but in real I was trying to read him and see if he was being honest or not. Then another idea hit me, maybe he was doing all this so he could work on this project with me and get a good grade for once. The anger returned. I balled my fists tighter and clenched my teeth. He noticed the change and sighed muttering,
"You're never going to forgive me, are you?"
I didn't answer. I just glared at him. He didn't cringe away from it. He looked busy, as if he was deliberating something too.
"I want you to do me a favour," he said carefully.
Oh so he was going to admit he wants to use my brain to get good grades for himself. Well that's better. At least some part of him was being honest, I was thinking. I just raised my brow, certain I knew what was coming.
"I want you to punch me."
What? I stared at him blankly. That's exactly what I wanted to do, but why was he the one suggesting it?
"Oh is little Marissa too scared to punch a guy?" he mocked me, until I was fuming with frustration and anger. I couldn't take it anymore. I punched him. Right on the mouth so he would shut the hell up. It felt good, even though the irritation was still there. It wasn't enough to make the anger fade. His mouth didn't look too bad, it was slightly red but nothing serious. Trying to hide the pain from his voice, he ordered,
"Now kick me."
Wow, he asked for it. I had taken karate lessons and the kick was something I was very impressive at. Fuming with anger, I kicked him in the gut pouring out all my energy in that one move. He fell back with a thud.
I looked at his vulnerable body, now on the ground. All anger evaded me then. Ethan was crouching on the floor, holding his abdomen tightly, waiting for the pain to go away. A part of me knew I should be feeling guilty for my actions, but I shied away from the sympathetic side of me and chose to follow the part of me which believed he deserved it. I did realise he was being utterly honest in his apology, he really is sorry. I wanted to at least help him up and take him to the nurse. I reached for him but he shrug me away saying,
"I hope you've forgiven me. If anyone sees you did this to me, you could get in trouble, now go!"
Oh. I totally forgot about that. So I jogged away without another word, leaving Ethan alone and injured. I knew I should have done something for him, but I kept giving myself the excuse that he didn't want me to. He told me to go away, and that's what I did. So I'm really not the one to blame for being so heartless and selfish, right?
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