Matthew declared Sunday "Rita Sunday", I wasn't happy about the title, but he was. Ray had agreed with Matthew on doing whatever I wanted for the day. Matthew came up with a list of as much random things to do as he could find within an hour of us.
Today I went back to the Farmers Market and decided I would pick some stuff up for dinner. My dad came back today and Victor was coming over, as a friend. My idea, of course, just so they can actually meet. After the Farmers Market, Matthew had found this huge Flea Market and I knew I was going to enjoy that. The four of us ended up splitting up to see who could buy the most useless item.
When we met up about an hour later, I had way more items than I needed. I ended up just buying anything it thought was cool. For my useless item I had a potato peeler. I paid about ten dollars for it, but I could have got it for like three dollars at the regular store. Victor came back with hair ties that had little princesses attached to them. I decided to keep them.
When I saw what Ray and Matthew had gotten, I started to worry about my taste in men. They both separately bought the same item. They both got street signs. Ray's said Mateo Rd. And Matthew's said Ray Blvd. Apparently, they bought them for each other because they thought it was funny.
"Really?" I rolled my eyes at them, "You both bought each other something?"
Victor bent over hysterically laughing while I looked them disappointed.
"I mean come on, it's perfect! How could I not pick it up?" Ray defended himself.
"What is all the other crap you got? You spend ten dollars on a potato peeler and what about the rest of the stuff you got?" Matthew said.
I looked at him innocently, "They are for my wall." I got a few vintage pictures to hang up, a mini statue of an angel, and for some reason I had the idea of hanging up old records as well.
After the flea market, I decided I wanted to go to the movie theater. As usual, I picked out the movie that had been out the longest. When Ray was dating Maggie, I found that I liked being in the theater when no one else was there. It was like my own private movie. We sat in the theater and I glanced over at Ray about mid-way through and saw him and Victor holding hands. I elbowed Matthew so he could look and he told me to watch the movie.
Shortly after the movie was done, we got a text from our dad telling us he would be away another two days. I still made dinner with all the random stuff I got at the Farmers Market. I noticed Victor was more relaxed when we ate in the living room. He was comfortable and less tense than he had been the past week.
Everything seemed great for about two months, until the day I heard Victor storm out of the house and slam the door.
Over the last two months Ray and Victor seemed to get along fine. Victor came over, stayed some nights when my dad wasn't home. I surprisingly spent a lot of time talking to Victor alone. Every time we talked, he was stressed about his family finding out. I felt bad because I could see how much it killed him to keep everything inside and then there was the fact, he didn't want to tell Ray what he thought would happen if he told his family.
Ray on the other hand was starting to feel like he wanted to be more out in the open with Victor. Since Victor didn't tell Ray why he didn't want to do that, they ended up getting annoyed with each other.
I walked into Ray's room and he was just lying there with the TV on staring up at the ceiling.
"What happened?" I said to him as I went to sit on his bed.
"Same thing, this time he was just really tired of talking about it."
I cleared my throat and prepared myself for Ray to be upset with me. "Have you considered not being so selfish?"
He glared at me, "Taking his side?"
"No, I'm taking the side that means you should respect the fact that your boyfriend isn't ready to come out yet. Just because you are, you can't force him to. Have you thought about what it might be like for him?" He sighed and refused to look at me. "I didn't think so."
"I just feel like if it is mutual, why should we keep hiding it?"
"Ray, just because you guys feel the same for each other, that doesn't mean you should force him to be ready like you are. Not everyone has been brought up with an open family like us."
"I know not everyone is like us, but I want to get it out of the way. I want to stop lying to everyone and I want the girls to stop bothering me every freaking day."
"Then tell them you are with someone Ray! Use your damn brain!" I was even annoyed with him now. "You can't force him Ray! You can't make him choose between you and his family! That isn't fair! And if you can't understand that, then that makes you the fucking problem!"
I stormed out of Ray's room and went back to my own, where Matthew waited for me.
"What is wrong?" Matthew looked at me alarmed. Ray and I hardly ever fought, but over the last couple of months I found myself annoyed with how he handled things with Victor a lot.
"He keeps trying to force Victor to come out even though he isn't ready to. He thinks because he's ready, Victor should be ready. Then tells me I am taking his side. I don't get it!"
Matthew sighed, "I'll go talk to him."
Matthew got up and went into Ray's room. I waited in my room trying to calm myself down for about thirty minutes. I love Ray more than anything, but I didn't understand why he thought he was right and everyone else was wrong. After asking myself this, it occurred to me that Ray has almost never been told he was wrong in his life. I never told him he was wrong, except when it came to Matthew. Our parents definitely never told him he was wrong. His entire life, he has been right about everything and has done everything his way.
I got up and walked into Ray's room. Matthew was leaning against the wall and Ray was still laying there. Matthew was mid-sentence when I walked in.
"You're wrong." I said to Ray.
He looked at me, "What?"
"You're wrong. That is not the right way to do things. You have never been wrong, but this time you are. It's not taking sides or seeing another point of view, you are wrong."
"How so?" Ray said calmly.
"You, as a person, cannot force someone to do something they are not comfortable with. You cannot tell them that is how they show they care for you just because that is how you want to do it. You know Victor cares, you know he likes you or he wouldn't be here every day. This is new to him too and because you feel you adjusted better, that doesn't mean you get to decide when you guys go public. It is supposed a team decision, not a Ray decision. And not for nothing, but I like Victor, whether you two date or not, and if that is how you treat him all the time, I hope he leaves you. He doesn't deserve someone that is just going to force their decisions on them."
Ray sat up and I could tell the last sentence hurt him. I didn't wait, I just turned around walked out so Matthew could finish what he had to say.
It took about an hour, but Ray finally came into my room and sat in the chair. Matthew and I had just finished a movie.
"You're right." Ray said sadly.
"Who is?" I said.
"Both of you. I'm just used to girls not caring about who knows and that is always how I was."
"And..." I said expectedly.
"I know this is different, for both him and I. And I shouldn't expect him to be like the girls I have dated."
"And..." I said once again.
"I... am not sure."
"Dude! You are missing the part where you will try to see things from this point of view. Where you will try to be understanding and not force him to come out before he is ready because you don't know what he has going on!"
"Okay well I thought that was implied." he said calmly.
"No, it wasn't. I need you to say it to me."
"I promise, if he forgives me, I will not be pushy with him and be more understanding about where he is coming from and how he feels about it."
"And if you guys fight about this one more time, I am not talking to you for a week."
Matthew looked at me and I knew he was thinking there was no way I could not talk to Ray for a week.
"All three of us know you can't do that. But I know you will try. I promise, I will do better and be more considerate from here on out."