I have never been to Beirut, Lebanon. Bear with me, please.
✨✨✨
Yahya Firas eyed the distance between them from the corner of his eyes, they walked side by side but nobody would have guessed they were together least of all husband and wife. Armineh breathed the humid air as they walked along the coast.
"Is faslay ko khatum nahi karogi?" (Won't you erase this distance between us?) Yahya Firas said having enough of her silence.
"Yeh fasla aap khud khatum karaingay. (You will erase this distance yourself.) You have been making me chase you all this time, Yahya Firas. Don't play hard to get with so much enthusiasm. Haven't you learned, yet? I am a go-getter kind of girl and who knows you might just become my end goal," Armineh bestowed a teasing smile as she turned her head to look at him and Yahya Firas found himself inching closer to her side, a small smile etched on his lips.
He challenged, "What's with 'might'? I am your end game, Armineh Zain Raza as you're mine."
His eyes creased and his smile, broadened when Armineh choked on the air she had breathed.
She groaned with embarrassment, flattening her palms against her warm cheeks, "Yahya Firas."
She increased her pace to leave him behind but he had already stopped, a plan formulating in his brain.
"Wait for me. I am coming," Armineh ignored him.
"I am coming. Wait for me, Armineh," He shouted, walking steadily towards her. People looked at him, weirdly but his only motivation was Armineh.
Armineh's eyebrows rose to her hairline and she doubted her ears as she wondered if Yahya Firas's senses had deserted him.
"Wait for me, my wife!" He said as he caught up to her and grasped her hand in his. Armineh had to believe it was him with the way he grinned at her, hearing a few claps. She smiled back despite being flustered at his display of utter foolishness.
"What was that, Yahya Firas?" She whispered, burying her face in his chest as he wrapped an arm around her, pulling her into his side. She felt his chest vibrate with laughter.
He planted a gentle kiss on the crown of her head, "Just gave you a reason to remember our time, together."
After, treading a few more paces, he brought her to the metal baluster along with himself. He removed his hands from her person to lean against the baluster while she faced the sea.
Her smile dropped, Yahya Firas noticed the depressing change in her expression.
Armineh swallowed, her eyes brimmed with apprehension met his, "Can I ask you something?"
The moment, she had uttered those words, he knew what she wanted to know.
Should I tell you they chased me to the Grand Al Omeri mosque after I left you crying in the room. It's where I offered my prayers and then, slept there like a baby for a good, few hours on the hard floor while you were probably worried sick for me. Do you think, I am oblivious to the concern you show for me?
"Chor do, kia karogi jaan kar?" (Leave it, what will you do?)
"Yeh kia hua?" (What happened, here?) She took his bandaged hand in hers.
Not much. I just sliced my palm, open. I clenched the glass too hard during breakfast when it dawned on me how fucking loose in the head I am to lose control because of a fucking ring? Twice.
A ring I bought for you.
Who does that? Not a normal person.
"Kuch nahi,"(Nothing) It'll heal as soon as the numerous stitches are healed, he didn't say that out loud, pushing his hand inside the pocket of his coat.
"I hope you don't get tired of me because I am not going to leave you, Armineh. Ever," He promised.
"Okay, but where did that come from?" She stared at him, curiously.
He shrugged his shoulders as silence elapsed between them, the comfortable kind.
Yahya Firas drank her sight while she focused her gaze on the angry waves lapping at the stones as they stood at the corniche.
He moved to stand behind her, tenting his arms on either of her sides. For several seconds, Yahya Firas didn't feel her move as he nearly stood against her back, the heat of his body fusing with hers.
Was she even breathing? His lips slanted.
"Tumhara saans kiyoon attuck gaya hai, meinay tou abhi tak kuch kia hi nahi hai," (Breath, Armineh. I haven't even done anything to you, yet.) He had whispered quietly when he realized she was nervous, not as unaffected as she seemed, after all.
Yahya Firas sprang back on his feet chuckling as Armineh elbowed him, defusing the tension between them.
"I am joking. Shall we go for dinner, after?"
"Sure, "Armineh smiled, prettily and Yahya Firas retained his former position behind her.
She shuddered as his warm breath caressed her flushed cheek, a stream of goosebumps rushed on her soft flesh, enforcing her to take another slow breath. Really slow.
He had felt her breathe, he had felt her contentment. It had washed over him just the same as he held her in his arms.
The had dinner at one of the restaurants at Hamra, a taxi driver's recommendation. It was a popular tourist destination, serving authentic Lebanese cuisine and they had spent more time sneaking glances at each other than eating.
Armineh breathed a sigh of relief as soon as they stepped inside the suite, the soles of her feet hurt from all the walking they did to buy gifts for the family and the tip of her nose and ears was frozen red.
Yahya Firas didn't look much different as he went further inside, to her room and dropped the shopping bags at the foot of her bed.
Armineh had been hanging her overcoat along with her scarf on the hanger as Yahya Firas came into the living room, he discarded his coat on the arm of the couch and Armineh shook her head.
She sat on the sofa beside him to remove her black boots.
He turned his head to meet her lovely eyes, "Satisfied with all the things you have bought?"
Yahya Firas dragged his eyes back to the front, he noticed she had been wearing pants and a turtle neck similar to his which was hidden beneath her long overcoat previously and it fit her rather perfectly. Yahya Firas rubbed his neck and closed his eyes before they could stray too far, blood rushing to his neck. He pulled his laptop out from his office bag, he had left on the couch the other night.
"Absolutely, "She muttered, excitedly as she rose from the sofa.
"I have to be at the office, day after tomorrow, definitely. Is that alright with you? You are coming with me, yes?"
"Of course," Armineh said, convincingly.
"I'll book the flight, then."
"Okay and Yahya Firas... where do you want to sleep?" She stood at the door, waiting for his answer and completely oblivious to the hot mess Yahya Firas had become as he smacked his lips, together.
He swallowed, hard as the tips of his ears brightened, "Take the bed, Armineh. I'll sleep on the couch, have them bring a mattress or just book another room."
Armineh's eyebrows rose, "Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Alright."
Yahya Firas blew out a breath when Armineh finally vanished from his sight.
✨✨✨
Yahya Firas had been collecting the papers, he had spread out at the coffee table while working when his phone vibrated. He frowned as he saw the unknown number flash across when he spared a peep at the screen.
Yahya Firas ignored it but its persistent vibrations forced him to receive the WhatsApp call.
"Assalamualaikum?"He uttered, unsure as he pressed the phone to his ear and tucked it in the crook of his neck, holding his office bag, open.
"Walaikumasalaam, "Ahsan drawled, smoothly, taking a sip of his coffee, "How are you, brother?"
"Good, very good," Yahya Firas pulled the phone in front of his face to check the number."When did you change your number?"
"Haan ab tou yahi poocho gay. Dost ko yaad rakhtay tou pata hota," (Of course, you'll ask that now. You would have known if you remembered you had a friend.)
"Aisi baat hai?" (Is it like that?) Yahya Firas's lips pulled at one corner as he put the papers inside his back.
"Tung karraha tha. Aisay hi badal lia, bus."
(I was teasing you. There's no particular reason.) Ahsan said, there truly wasn't except that he didn't want his ex-fiance to reach out to him, again. He had now given himself a reason to believe why she wouldn't call him apart from the fact that she didn't want him in her life just as much he wanted her in his life and knowing that was the only reason, previously, it had damaged him, irrevocably.
A grin broke on Yahya Firas's face as he deserted the bag and sat back, shifting the phone in his hand, "Tum kaisay ho?" (How are you?)
"Tum sab ko yaad karraha tha. Wapis aana chahta hoon," (Just missing you all. I want to come back.) Ahsan muttered, slowly with measured words. His Urdu was more than a little rusty.
"Jhoot na bolo." (Don't lie.)
"Such keh raha hoon, bhai. Aapnay tou humain bulaya nahi tou hum khud hi aarahay hain. Phir batao, kab aaon?" (I am speaking the truth, brother. You didn't call me so I am coming myself. Tell me, when should I come?) Yahya Firas smacked his lips together.
"Kal aajao,"(Tomorrow.) He spoke in earnest. It had been a long time since they have sat together.
Ahsan chuckled as he heard his closest friend, "Kal nahi but as soon as possible?" (Not tomorrow.)
"Pakki gul ae?" (Are you sure?) Yahya Firas said in Punjabi knowing Ahsan didn't know even 'p' of Punjabi as he sat, confused, continents apart.
What gibberish? Ahsan thought to himself.
"Dhoka tou nahi do gay?" ( You won't cheat on me?)
"Chal oye," Ahsan scoffed, "Drama na kar zyada. Itna yaad aaraha tha tou mil laita aa k?" ( Don't be dramatic. If you missed me so much, why didn't you visit me?)
"Tum aaye?" (Did you come?) Yahya Firas retorted.
Ahsan's eyes furrowed,"Humesha mein hi aata hoon. Akhri baar bhi-,"Ahsan stopped short as he realized what he had said. Recalling the last time he visited his country never bode well for him. He diverted his attention before his mind could resort to Armi- the Pandora box of painful memories. "khair, aur batao, how's life?" (I always come. Last time, as well- Anyways, tell me more, how's life?)
Yahya Firas turned his head to look at the door of the bedroom he had left ajar, he would stop once in while to gaze at her sleeping figure.
Yahya Firas repeated,"How's life?" He took a deep breath, watching her sleep, peacefully, "She's good."
It was corny, Yahya Firas knew it as soon as he said it and covered his mouth with his hand, hiding the smile pulling at his lips even though Ahsan couldn't see him.
Ahsan's eyebrows touched his hairline as he sat up straighter in his chair. He put the cup of coffee on the table," She? Who is she?"
Yahya Firas cleared his throat, "My all."
"Really?"Ahsan's curiosity peaked, he couldn't quite believe his ears, "Who's she?"
Yahya Firas pulled his upper lip between his teeth, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter as his heart pounded in his chest. He released his lip and quipped, "My everything."
He might be just be messing around with his friend but deep down he knew-he knew, it was true.
Ahsan laughed, wholeheartedly, "You have it bad, man."
"Maybe, "Yahya Firas shrugged his broad shoulders, his smile constant.
"Khush ho? ( Are you happy?)"
"Immensely," Yahya Firas sighed, contentedly.
Ahsan's lips curled, "I am pleased to know that, Sir but what's with one-word answers?"
"Nothing,"
Ahsan noted, "You don't seem to be in the mood to talk, now,"
"Maybe."
"Correction: You don't seem to be in the mood to talk at all, now. I am sad,"
"Don't be, "Yahya Firas cajoled, playfully.
Ahsan's chest rumbled with laughter, "You were talking about your wife or is she someone else?"
"Who else if not her? It is her and kind of just happened, "He added, further so Ahsan wouldn't ask him. He didn't even know much himself lest what he would tell Ahsan.
"Details Aaj bataogay ya phr kabhi? Baaqiyon ko pata hai?" (Will you tell me the details, today or some other day? Do the others know?)
"Jab milaingay phr bataoon ga. Kia baat kar rahay ho? Baaqi mil bhi chukay hain ussay at Anaam's wedding," ( I'll tell you when we meet. What are you talking about? The rest have met her at Anaam's wedding.)
Ahsan ran a hand through his hair and said, unbelievably, "Na karo, yaar." (Don't tell me.)
Yahya Firas leaned his head back against the headrest, detecting the hint of regret in Ahsan's voice, "Aisa hi hai bus tum or Zahid late ho." (It's like that. Only you and Zahid are late.)
Ahsan tsked, "I'll make do with what others will have to say about her until you tell me or I see for myself. Jaldi aanay ki koshish karta hoon. Can't wait to meet her, bhai. Tumhain pasand hai tou khaas hi hogi. Ab khud bhi call karlaina, kabhi?" (I'll try to come, soon. Can't wait to meet her, brother. You like her, she must be special. Give me a call yourself, sometime?) Ahsan flattened his palms against the coffee cup, it was cold to touch. He had forgotten all about it in excitement.
"Nahi, Too busy and I am giving you another reason to come back. Ab Jab aaogay yahan tou phr baat karain gay. Aaja ab, yaar. Paanch saal bohot lumba arsa hota hai. Uski bewafai ki saza apnay aapko kiyoon de rahay ho? Bhool jao. She's not worth it." (No, too busy. We'll talk when you'll come here. Come back, bro. Five years is a long time. Why punish yourself for her betrayal? Forget it. She's not worth it.)
Indeed because she was priceless, Ahsan bit his tongue. His smile vanished as his lips turned down, "Tum meri fikar na karo. Khush raho aur apna Khayaal rakho. Allah Hafiz." (Don't worry about me. Stay happy and take care of yourself.)
Yahya Firas wanted to apologize but Ahsan had already cut the call. Yahya Firas gathered his hair in a fist and blew out a breath, berating himself for running his mouth. He hunched over his knees to gather the stationary lying on the table and put it inside his bag. He closed the zip and rose from the three seater.
وقت ہمیشہ ایک سا نہیں رہتا-
Yahya Firas didn't hesitate as he walked to Armineh's bedroom with his bag in his hand.
Time has changed.
His lips pulled up a little at the edges and he didn't dare hide it.
Time has changed.
Yahya Firas softly smiled at her, leaving the bag at the foot of the bed as she groaned and turned towards him when the bed dipped. He sat over the comforter, on the other side of the bed. It pleased him, greatly.
Time has changed.
Yahya Firas stretched out his legs as he laid on his side, beside his wife for the first time in thirty-two years of his short life, his heart thrummed louder and louder beneath his chest.
Yahya Firas gathered the courage to lift a hand. He caressed her cheek, gently and brush the rogue strands away from her face as his white knuckles fluttered close to the warm flesh of her face. He stilled when she stirred, awake.
"Yahya Firas?" Yahya Firas suddenly grew aware of the distance between them. He swallowed as she called out to him, again in her groggy and sleep ridden voice.
"I didn't mean to wake you up, "Yahya Firas whispered, apologetically.
Armineh sought his eyes, biting her lower lip in concentration as Yahya Firas fought hard to rein his eyes, "It's okay. What's the time?"
He moistened his dry lips, he had loved the gentle swell of her lips, not too long ago. He had held her against himself, twice and admired her, closely. His sinful hands had traced the curve of her delicate shoulders down to her lovely hands. He had trailed his nose down the slope of her cheek to breathe her essence and buried his face in the slender arch of her neck. He had imprinted his breaths there.
"Yahya Firas, what's the time?" Armineh repeated and he blinked, shifting his fizzling attention to his wristwatch.
It was a lame distraction but a distraction, nonetheless.
"3:30."
"It's very late. Why are you still awake?" Armineh rested a palm on his prickly cheek.
Yahya Firas dragged air to his lungs.
"I couldn't sleep, you know and then, I thought I could get some work done. I got carried away." He uttered, helplessly and shrugged.
She wove her fingers in the dark mop of his hair, rubbing a few strands between her fingers and his eyes fluttered closed. She stroked the end of his eyebrow and his heart skipped. She pulled her hand away.
It was just a moment and it was over, too soon, he wanted it to be an eternity. He blinked his eyes, open and swallowed when he no longer felt her fingers in his hair.
"Sleep, "Armineh whispered, sitting up.
"Lay down, Armineh. I won't sleep while you sit, awake," He told her as his hand shot to grasp her arm. He tilted his head back a little, tapping the bed with the back of his free hand while she sat against the headboard, looking down at him as he gazed up at her. The light from the lamp illuminated her features as it played with the crevices of his face, too.
She always knew he was one handsome specimen of a man. His angular jaw and the brown hair dotting it, she loved it. She loved everything from his russet brown eyes to his perfectly bushy eyebrows that could be any woman's downfall. Luckily, they'd be only hers.
"I won't sleep, Armineh."
Yahya Firas moved to sit when she didn't move but she stopped him, "Okay. Okay. I forgot how stubborn you can be."
She laid down, "Sleep before I do, Yahya Firas. I don't want you to wake up before Fajr so I will be your lucky charm for the night. I hope it helps that I am right beside you. You dream about us and nothing else, okay?" She said with a teasing smile following an adorable wink as her eyes flitted from his face to his hands, she rested her hand, atop rather nervously.
The movement of his Adam's apple and the snarling veins warped around his hands like vines, seductive.
Yahya Firas shook his head as he closed his eyes, his heart thudding in his chest but he knew it hadn't been because of fear for a lot of days, now.
It was her. All her.
Armineh made his heart lose it's bearings, more times than he could count. More times than he should notice but he noticed and he counted, losing himself when he encountered the depth in her eyes.
One of these days...
"You don't deserve a man like me but I got you. I have you and I'll try to be the best I can be to become worthy of you, Armineh."
Yahya Firas's chest rose as he heaved a breath, shifting his hand over to hold hers. His grasp tight as Armineh rubbed the ring adorned on her ring finger by her thumb of her left hand.
One of these days...
He'd have enough courage to become hers.
One of these days...
I feel like I am in love with you.
✨✨✨
As the Fajr alarm went off, Armineh woke up to see Yahya Firas lying on her pillow almost as if they were sharing it. She blinked and blinked as he snored, softly while facing her, his hands resting between their faces. Armineh propped herself on her elbow to look at his pillow. Her mouth formed an 'O' when she noticed the creased cover, he must have moved sometime during the night. Armineh chuckled to herself, so much for the sleeping options, he had mentioned.