i had come recently to the realisation that i had fallen in love with someone i didn't even think. she was the opposite of everyone i had dated before and that had surprised me, what was once seemly a terrible taste in men had changed?
she was shorter then anyone else i had an interest in. so much nicer and genuine, i felt like she couldn't lie if she wanted to. she had the softest hair and the most adorable smile with corners that turned up adorably and when she made faces became cuter. Her eyes were the prettiest shade of brown and i had fallen in love with them.
she wasn't afraid to lean on me, and when she did i felt like i never wanted it to end, and she smelt like an angel that i just wanted to hold as close as possible.
she was the smartest person i ever met, and she was ambitious and welcoming and sweet and amazing and i could never see myself hating someone like her. she had no bad intentions.
it was hard not to love someone like her. hard not to love her.
and i'm guess i'm saying this here because i could never say them to her or near her or confide about any of it, because i don't want to risk losing someone so amazing as her. she's an angel who decided to be my friend and i don't want to scare her away with my mindless drabble of I Love Yous which have always turned out to mean nothing.
but she always made me smile, whether she was making fun of me or cheering me up, it was the one thing she never failed to do.
this smart, ambitious, amazing, beautiful girl who was everything i'd ever wanted and i just had to know she wasn't for me, because she deserved so much more then i could ever be.
and that's why i'll probably never tell her, because she deserves the person who sees her as their world, successful as hell and isn't scared of the small things.