© Amber Kalkes 2014
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Twelve+
I watch in a trance as raindrops slide down the glass of the music room. The house is quiet and mostly dark as I sit on the window seat cushioned with rich black crushed velvet against the bare skin of my short clad legs. As the rain trails down the glass my hands follow their trail, enjoying the smooth coldness of the glass.
“Shoshanna?”
I turn towards the sound of my name to find Jane standing at the entrance of the Music room’s doors. She’s in a pair of yellow ducky sleep pants and a black t-shirt that reads ‘KISS ME I’M SHITFACED’ making me lips twitch up a bit. Her short pixie brown hair is a mess on the top of her head but she looks beautiful all the same.
“Hello, Jane. What can I help you with?”
Jane frowns a bit, “Nothing actually. I was just grabbing a glass of water when I saw you in here. Are you alright?”
“I’m fine.” I lie with a small smile, “you should probably go back up to bed. Tyler will go crazy is he sees you missing.”
Jane rolls her eyes with a smile before walking towards me. She has a small glass of water in her hand as she sits across from me on the window seat. Her blue painted nails drum on the glass in her hand as she too peers out the window.
“You know I used to have these nasty nightmares after I got bitten.” Jane says turning towards me, “I mean they were some crazy shit. Blood, screaming, death everywhere and I would wake up sweating and freaked out. I didn’t know what was happening to me and I often suffered alone. No one knew about them but me for the longest time.”
“That doesn’t sound like a good way to live.” I comment.
Jane snorts, “It wasn’t. I was afraid to go to sleep and often I would have to shove sleeping pills in my mouth to even consider it. It was messed up.”
“I can imagine.”
“Can you?” Jane asks with a raised brow, “Because you seem like the perceptive type and yet your not latching to the olive branch I’m extending.”
I laugh a little, “I knew you were going to be a feisty one. Tyler needs that.”
“Don’t change the subject.” She scolds but smiles a bit at the mention of Tyler.
“Do you love him?”
Jane rolls her eyes, “Duh. What’s not to love? He’s funny, he’s kind, he’s handsome and he makes me feel…wanted. Do you love your Dracula?”
It’ my turn to smile a bit, “Yes.”
“How’d you meet?”
“I asked him to kill me.”
Jane’s dark green eyes widen and her mouth falls open, “Seriously?”
“Yes.”
“W-Why?”
I shrug and turn to look back out the window, “I was unhappy. I hated me, I hated the world, and I simply hated living. I had heard about these killings on the news and I since I had made a promise to my parents that I wouldn’t kill myself I decided to find someone who would. I didn’t know what he was but when I found him fang deep in a girl with a club dress on I knew he would give me what I needed.”
“But he didn’t.”
I shake my head watching more rain trails fall down the glass, “He knew I was his blood mate the first time he bit me. He couldn’t kill me. So he decided to trick me into thinking he would just so he could get close to me. He thought he could fix me, make me stop self-harming, and make me want to live as long as he was by my side. He didn’t understand.”
I glance at Jane staring at my arms. Feeling oddly self-conscious I fold them over my stomach. Her eyes snap up to mine and a small sheepish smile makes its way onto her face.
“Sorry.”
I shake my head, “Don’t be. It’s a normal reaction.”
“Well what happened next?”
“Well I realized pretty quickly that I did love him but I didn’t want to burden him with the mess I am. One night after the shock of how deep my feelings were for him I saw him with an ex. It rocked me to the core. I went home and tried to kill myself, I figured I didn’t need him to end it, promise or not.”
“But you not dead.” Jane points out with a confused frown.
I smile at her a bit indulgently, “No, I’m not dead. Edgar came in and gave me his blood, saved my life like the dark knight he tends to be. Of course that was the last time he saved me. I did actually die the night he turned me. He was stabbed and I absorbed his wound. Bled out on the couch in his study but this time he made sure I could never die so easily again. He made me like him.”
“Without even asking?” Jane sniffs, “What an asshole.”
“Did Tyler ask you?”
She bites her lip, “Well not really but it was to save me.”
“And it was the same for Edgar. He loved me too much to let me go.”
Jane is quiet for a couple of minutes before she asks, “Do you resent him?”
Do I, I ask myself.
“In a way. I wasn’t asked, my opinion wasn’t even considered but then again he didn’t have much time to ask me.”
“So you resent that he took the choice away?” She clarifies.
“Yes, I suppose so.”
“Is that why you’re down here in the early morning hours instead of with your mate?”
I don’t miss her pointing out the same point I made when she first came down. I got to give it to her; she’s a smart one. I can’t help but think how perfect she is for Tyler. I can only hope I’m as perfect for Edgar but I can’t be sure. I know I love him but the fact I could be the other half of another’s soul seems so…overwhelming. I’ve never had the time to really process the fact and now that I can it’s almost surreal despite everything that’s happened.
“Actually no. I have nightmares as well.”
Jane takes a drink of water then nods, “I figured as much. The haunted look after a fucked up nightmare doesn’t fade quickly and I definitely can recognize it. What was it about?”
“An old enemy and a possibly very real future.”
Jane sighs and sits back against the wood frame of the nook we’re in. “Nothing good I take it.”
Shaking my head I sigh.
“Well…shit.”
“Yeah.”
“JANE!”
I smile widely at Jane as she rolls her eyes at the sound of Tyler’s yelling for her. His footsteps are quick and hurried as he heads towards the trail of her scent before he bursts into the room. He’s dressed in just gray sweatpants and his black shoulder length hair is a rat’s nest on the top of his head. His dark eyes are wide in anxiety as he looks around the music room before they land on us.
“Jane what—“
She sighs heavily and dramatically drops her head, “Ty, babe, you’re a psycho.”
I bit my lip so I don’t laugh at the offended look on the werewolf’s face.
“I woke up and you were gone, Jane. How did you think that would go?”
“Not well?” She asks with an overly innocent expression.
“Jane.”
“Yes, Tyler?”
His shoulder sag in defeat, “Come to bed, I miss you.”
“SHOSHANNA!”
Ah, hell.
Jane smirks at me, “Yours too, huh?”
“So it would seem.” I sigh.
Edgar blurs into the room looking equally as distressed as Tyler did. His hair short black hair is less messy but his eyes are just as fearful. He’s dressed in a pair of black silk sleep pants and a black vest top before me and I can’t stop the butterflies I get in my stomach just looking at him. He’s a blur of movement again as he comes to scoop me up in his arms.
“What are you doing down here? Do you realize how worried I was?”
“I just came down here to think.”
He nuzzles my neck with his nose before sighing. I can feel his whole body relax as he inhales my scent. My heart expands in my chest knowing he cares as much as he does. This is what we’re about, I realize in awe. He loves me and I love him and maybe that’s all we need. Maybe that’s all we need to survive the hurricane slowly building waiting to destroy us. We can be each others shelter in the disaster poised to sweep us away.
“I’m sorry.” I whisper.
He lets out a slightly shaking exhale, “I’m the one who should be sorry, amour. I didn’t mean to panic as I did.”
“It’s okay, it means you care.”
He frowns at me, “Of course I care.”
I cup his cheek with my hand as I look up at him as he cradles me to his chest, “I know you do.”
“Night guys!” Jane calls out and I hear the smug smile in her voice.
Edgar carries me up the stairs as he lays butterfly kiss all over my face.
I’ll fight this, I decide. I’ll fight with everything I have left in me to fight with because I refuse to lose this. Henry and Gryphon can try to take me away from him but not without me kicking and screaming.
My dark knight may be on the battlefield but it’s my war to end.
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Okay, so this was a NIGHTMARE to get out. The writers block was horrible but last night it came to me in a dream and first thing I did when I woke up was get to work so I could get this out to you guys. I am SUPER DUPER SORRY for the hold up on the update and I'm hoping I won't take this long again. Anyway, I like this scene between Jane and Shoshanna. What do you guys think?
Next chapter: We meet Gryphon....Excited?
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