My vision is blurred and my mouth full of blood. The first thing I see is Tobias and Gwendolyn, bending over me. Tobias is feeding me his blood and I start to fight off. I will not give in to the hunger and I will not let myself drown again. I had to win so often and still, it feels like losing.
"Leave me alone!" I try to shout it aloud but it comes out as a muffled murmur. I am stronger than this now.
"Leave me alone..." I keep on telling the illusions around me as I roll to the side. We are not alone. Eve is looking at me confused and I am waiting for Henriette and Tristan to show up. They will blame me for ruining it. Where is Tristan? When did I lose him in this dying world?
"Leave me alone..." I press out once again, trying to catch my breath before I reach out to my hurting abdomen. The overwhelming scent of blood is all around me and I still feel as if I am underwater.
The blood of my victims is punishing me; pushing me down into the darkness but there is a light that I can follow. There is a fainted scent in all of this. It is something I need to follow.
"Give him some space!" I can hear a familiar voice, but I do not know who is shouting.
My head is filled with impressions that I cannot untangle. I try to blink away the veil of dizziness, which is hindering me from seeing the world. Taking some more deep breaths, I press my hand at my wound. This scent.
I know this scent.
His scent is mixed with death, but it is still him and as real as my nightmares are sometimes, I have not smelled him ever in there. I need to get myself together. Everything around me is spinning and before I could continue to think about it, I violently empty whatever is left in my throat. I try to wipe away what is drooling out of my mouth but cannot.
The one arm I am not supporting myself with is hurting, and I cannot really move it. My vision starts to clear as I try to inspect my wound. There is blood all over my upper body, smeared and partly dried. I can feel some strands of my hair clinging to my forehead. It is healing. That is good.
Another fight. I think I won, but it feels like I lost. What is it I lost this time?
I take a deep breath finally clearing my mind completely with the cool air in my lungs.
He is real. He is here.
I turn around to look into Tobias' face before I reach out my hand and touch his cheek softly. I cannot believe it. This is all real. His warm eyes are slightly gleaming just to underline his nearly golden appearance. He leans down even more to me as we are both staring at each other.
After the short distance is closed, I embrace the young man in front of me with the one working arm I have left. His figure presses against my own shivering body and I realize the silent, hot tears running down my cold cheeks.
"You ruin my coat with your blood," Tobias' voice is nearly cold but I have to laugh. It just breaks out of my chest and I cannot tell why my tears are floating. It is not the pain that triggers them, that is for sure. Relieve is washing over me as it never did before. Last time I cried in front of a living being is so long ago, that I cannot remember. It does not matter, I guess.
He is alive – or I am dead. Both would be okay because we are together again.
I just leave enough air between the two of us to take his cheek in my hand for a moment and look him in the eyes. I cannot believe that I am able to touch him, to smell him and to see his little dimple that starts to show up when he suppresses a grin as he does now. This is my boy. For a moment, I can see the younger him in his features. I do not know what happened or he has been through, but we will be together again.
"You are disgusting," he pouts and I keep on smiling.
"I love you," I drag him back into my arm and he does not make any resistance. Everything around us seems silent for a while. "I love you so much," I whisper. He buries his face at my neck when I start caressing the back of his head. I can hear him silently sob. "Hush now, I'm here, potato."
It is nearly peaceful.
He grumbles something not understandable but I can feel his arms around me as he kneels so close, he nearly sits on my lap. This is real and he is here. All these years I thought...
I am a little startled as he draws a bit back so that we can lay our foreheads against each other and close our eyes. I do not want to let him go ever again.
"That fight was unnecessarily dramatic," he scolds.
"I am dramatic? Why didn't you come to me far earlier," I ask, but he only sighs.
"Brother, they are all staring at you," Connor mentions next us.
"Who cares..." I murmur.
"They wait for you to say something."
"Father, I need to tell you something important, but not here," Tobias whispers so silently that I am not even know he really said it.
When I open my eyes, Tobias is completely moving away from me to get up with the help of his crane. We both hurry to wipe away the tears and I struggle to get up before Connor reaches out his hand to me. It is hard to adjust to the environment again with my heart nearly bursting out of joy.
Some clouds started to cover the moon when they pass by. The little breeze that it accompanies carries the whimpers of the wounded in the tents behind the open field. Erwin came to see what was going on and is now standing next to the row of guards. Reality is slapping me when I see the misery I just brought over us.
"You look like your arm is broken," Erwin says calmly and I cock my head at him.
"Thanks for telling me," I say dryly. He does not move.
"Take a look at him," I order pointing at Lyall. The curious faces follow me as I make my own way over to the still unconsciousness Lyall on the floor. Étain is holding his head and glares up to me.
"I will never accept you as my partner and I will never follow you. If you want you can try to take it with force but I'd rather die than let you command my every move," she hisses and I smile. From what I can tell, this would be my chance to have an army without much more of an effort, but it does not feel right. They would not follow my orders for the right reasons.
"What a shame, kitten. You miss something, but in fact, it was never my intention to let it end like this," I start silently but she interrupts me.
"Shut up, ferret!" She shields Lyall's head even from Erwin who crouched down and tries to figure out what I damaged. "Who do you think you are?" Her hate is dripping out of every word.
"I am a free man!" I boom, "And you are the first-in-line of this tribe. Get yourself together. As soon as Lyall feels better, everything will come back to the usual order until then you'll lead this tribe for me."
Étain's face at this brings back my grin. What did she think I would do? I really do not want to be followed. I have my own business to attend. Tristan and Nora are out there and no matter what they tell me, they are not dead. I refuse to believe that. If Tobias is still alive, nothing is impossible.
"You won, you can't retreat!" One of the beasts shouts and a lot of murmurs and comments follow as they start to argue against each other. A bunch of idiots, just like headless chickens they bicker around not knowing what to do if their set order fails.
"Silence!" I growl and reach out my arm to underline the order. I can see my guards straighten out and taking their stances. There is a chance I drilled them a little too much, I guess. Some of the beasts notice their reaction and seem to imitate them.
"This man gave you all. Whatever you needed: blood, shelter, a second chance and that is how you thank him? In all these years, did he ever ask you to give him a minute to breathe? He lost one fight. One!" I look around in the faces of those who were cheering me up.
"I lost a hundred fights over the years. So, let me put it in a way everybody can understand. I am happy to be the one to kick your asses, but I am not going to be your answer. I won, that's right, so hear my orders: You will all keep on following Étain and Lyall as you've been used to. In case someone wants to disagree, here is your chance."
I reach out my arms as good as possible and turn around my own axis to show them all my whole appearance. "I'm here. Fight me now or stop arguing. I am not like Lyall. I don't give a shit about all your opinions!"
"Hear, hear! Still the highborn patriarch and brutal dictator. Bravissimo!" Tobias claps his hands.
"How many more lovers of yours will show up here before all of this comes to an end?" Étain snorts.
"Don't be foolish," I argue.
"Ouch!" Tobias grabs his heart in a dramatic act. "I still have feelings, you know? Am I not pretty enough to be your lover?" he pouts and I roll my eyes. His face changes abruptly and the last time I saw that expression I looked into a mirror. It is a hard and reckless one.
"What if I want to try my luck and take the offered chance, Father? Will you kill me again?"
His words are so sharp that one could see them cutting my heart wide open if I would allow myself more than a straight grimace.
"You want to fight me?"
"I'm tempted to try."
I cannot believe he really said that. He can barely walk over to me with his limp, how does he plan to be able to fight me? Somehow, he also killed Naveena; and she was fast. That does not mean he had to chase her. He is smart. By his grin right now, I guess he is more of luring his victims in his traps.
My boy; a killer. That I would have ever to think about that breaks my heart.
"I did not know that the tensions between you two could go either way, oh dear. How about we calm down a little? I think we have some urgent points to clarify. Don't we, sweetheart?" Celeste's eyes drill into Tobias' face but he keeps on looking at me.
"You still believe I'm not able to take care of myself?" he asks and I sigh. One should think he grew up a little the last hundreds of years.
"Celeste is right." Another thing I did not think I will ever say.
I ignore Tobias' question and crouch down next to Lyall. Étain is still skeptically studying my face. "You better take good care of him, kitten."
Lyall's skin is already healed but I had his heart in my hand and where his left eye should be there is a black hole. I am not sure what I damaged to what extent but with our wounds, it is like with everything else. The surface is easily restored; the rest takes a little longer. I rub my forearm.
"Would you do me the honor and send the men back to work, kitten? We cannot afford to lose any more time, can we?" Her grip tightens once more around Lyall's head before she softly put him to the ground and we both make some room for Erwin.
"Excuse me? Didn't you ignore me long enough?" Tobias then wants to know, with a smile that does not reach his eyes.
I sigh deeply before looking at him. "If you want revenge then come here and get it."
"You think I won't do it?"
"I think, you, and I have a lot to talk about," I walk over to lay my hands down on his shoulders. To my surprise, he twitches at my touch. Behind me, I can hear Étain finally doing as I asked and ordering the beasts to their dedicated workstations and tasks.
"Ethan," I hear her calling my name for the first time, "what to do with your tin soldiers? You know that we need every pair of hands we can get."
"Come with me," I once more stroke along Tobias' cheek before turning to head over to my guards and answer Étain, "I'll send you some of them in a bit." Étain nods and leaves with the others. As the crowd around us finally is dissolving, I can see Connor coming closer to whisper some words into Celeste's ear. She looks flattered but I know that face.
I will need to talk to both of them about this.
"Father, I messed up," Tobias whispers behind me and I have to wait for him to come next to me to see if he really just said that.
"What do you mean?" I ask alarmed and I see him looking shyly to the ground for a moment before he sighs.
"Ther is a chance I blew up their hiding place when I killed Naveena," he is serious as I keep on staring on his face.
"You have been with the enemy?"
"Yes," he answers and I nod.
"You are right. Not here," I whisper before I wrap my arm around his shoulders and lead him to the group of guards that made some space for the beasts who carry Lyall into the cave. Erwin stops before following them.
"Ethan, I found a use for the different tastes of blood," he announces with a little sparkle in his eyes.
"Is that so," I do not want to have a deeper conversation about food now and he should know.
"The similar tasting ones fit better. While vampires don't seem to distinguish which blood helps them, humans do. I would appreciate your help for the last few humans. I'm tired and don't want to make mistakes now."
I inspect the moon's position above us and nod. "I will be with you in a few minutes. Do you have enough sample material?"
"Some of these are not as cooperative as they could be, but it will be okay," he says politely and I know what he means. With another nod to Eve who just joins us, he leaves.
"So, you are Ethan's son after all?" Eve looks at Tobias and he smiles at her.
"My apologies, my Lady, for not revealing myself before."
"Why did you lie about your identity?" Eve questions him in front of the guards and I'm actually also interested in that.
"I didn't lie. I am going by the name of Thomas Gerber for over a hundred years now, but hearing him calling me Tobias again," his smile is honest for a moment, looking at me, "I love that name, no matter how much I hate him."
Maybe I should be offended the way he points out that he has nothing but hate for me in his heart, but somehow his actions do not resemble his words. I kiss his temple before letting go of him and look into the faces of our guards.
One raises his hand and I nod in his direction.
"Sir, I... wanted to..." Joe stutters and I can see Sven encouraging him to say more.
"How's your hand?" I ask him instead of waiting. He shows me his shaking hand.
"It all grew back! Did you know this will happen?" Sven asks and I can hear Tobias chuckle.
"What do you teach your men? Do they not even know the simplest things about their bodies?" he asks amused and I narrow my eyes at him.
"Don't look like that at me. That is hilarious. Did they think your own wounded hand would stay damaged after Shaun hit you?" he keeps on laughing and I freeze.
"Doctor Nowak," I state and I can see Eve also staring at Tobias.
"You're welcome, Father," Tobias licks his lips.