The only way I can describe my first shift in over a year was that it was rough.
After the countless painful bones cracking, breaking, and shifting into a new form, I collapsed into a panting ungraceful heap in the dirt. The second of weakness in front of Ulfa pissed me off to no end, so I shook my head to dispel the wave of unconsciousness that threatened to tide me over as I rose on all fours. It pleased me immensely to realize that I was bigger than Ulfa, towering above her by nearly a head as I snarled down at her. Ulfa snarled back, hatred glinting in her glowing amber eyes as she had to look up at me. Choke on my tail you murdering bitch.
Howling a war cry, I went on the offensive. Tackling Ulfa, it became of flurry of claws, fangs, and a shitload of ferocious snarls as we grappled for victory. I was holding nothing back, the strength of my wolf numbing the pain of my injuries as I fought for my life. For vengeance I never thought I could fulfill until now. I felt unstoppable as I tore into Ulfa, paying her back twice fold as I tore out a chunk of her furry hide and snapped her left hind leg like a toothpick. Ulfa whimpered like a pansy at that one, retreating from me with it dragging pathetically behind her as she tried to limp away. A haze of red tinted my vision at the taste of her blood in my mouth. Bloodlust spurred me on as the acrid tang of her fear filled my nose. Oh revenge was so sweet as I prowled towards her as if she was prey, death in my eyes as I bared my teeth at her menacingly. A few brave wolves tried to step forward to protect their wounded Luna, but I immediately stamped them down with a wave of my dominance. Ulfa faltered, her ears flattening as our dominance clashed and sparked as if it was physical.
"Take that mutt downnnnn." Luna cheered as I stalked towards Ulfa.
Whimpers of fear slipped between Ulfa's growls and a flicker of defeat crossed her eyes before she snarled at me in loathing. The Pack whimpered and whined around us, their anxiety and fear for their Luna nearly a physical taste on my tongue. They knew she was going to die and due to my power there was not a damn thing they could do to stop it.
"You would dare murder the Luna of the Pack before my packmates' very eyes? This will destroy us." Ulfa's mental voice seethed in my mind, causing me to pause briefly.
Only powerful shifters are able to mindspeak while in their animal form so I knew only I was able to hear her.
I cocked my head at her curiously, as if I was actually contemplating her words. My wolfy sneer however said it all to Ulfa and she bared her teeth, her fur bristling in fury.
"Murder? I think the correct term for this moment is justice." I shot back to her venomously, causing Ulfa to stumble in shock.
I was the daughter of one of the most powerful Lunas that had walked this plain in centuries. Was my power really so fucking surprising?
"Besides, I could care less if those gutless pussies fall apart without you around. They're all so blinded by you cowards that they wouldn't believe the truth even if I punched them in the face with it." I continued coldly.
Ulfa narrowed her eyes. "They already know the true truth. Their leaders killed a coward for a crime that can never be forgiven by pack law. That was justice."
A vicious growl rumbled from deep into my chest causing the weaker wolves to whine and drop to their bellies while Ulfa shrunk just an inch. Her retreat fueled my unquenchable rage.
"My mother never broke any pack law. She snapped her bond with Rodolf within reason before she ever so-called betrayed him. She severed all of her ties and claims to the Pack. The only reason she ever came back to the Compound was because she was a guest that you invited! If you think I'm as blind as this fucking shit of a pack then you are damn wrong!" I roared through the link making Ulfa flinch, satisfying me immensely.
"In fact, due to my mother severing her ties to the Pack and pledging her loyalty to the Guild, she had officially became a sanctioned member of the Guild. By law, the Pack could no longer touch her. It was you all who broke the law, not her. You fucking ignorant cunt!"
Ulfa snarled loudly. Blinded by rage at my accusation, she lunged for my throat sloppily. I took advantage of her attack, immediately ducking my head to latch onto her throat instead. Ulfa's endless growls cut off as I clamped down on her windpipe, cutting off her airflow as I tasted fresh blood in my mouth. Satisfaction made my dead heart dance as I reached out to Ulfa's mind again.
"By Pack Law number 13, I judge you Pack Luna Ulfa Lupis Aatu-Shade, for the murder of Necromancer Guild Co-Leader and former Pack Luna Amara Lupis Winter-Kage. As the punishment the law states for an unsanctioned attack upon another Clan leader, I sentence you to death." I recited formerly with a tone that could create an iceberg.
"You are not pack! You cannot judge me!" Ulfa screamed desperately in my mind.
"And therein lies your mistake Luna," I chucked darkly. "You see, when Rodolf first met me privately with my mother, he anointed me as an honorary Pack member to rebuild bridges with my mother. So, in fact, I can judge you and I will."
"No...NO!"
Just as I tightened my jaw to end Ulfa's life, shouting erupted from the sidelines.
"Thana, stop! Stop!"
My focus shattered at the sound of Rafe's voice. I flicked my gaze to the right as Rafe and Raul shoves their way through the crowd of wolves. Horror tightened their faces at my position at their mother's throat. They reeked of desperation as they fell to their knees in unison a couple of feet away from us.
"Oh fuck." I heard Luna whisper but my attention was all on the twins as they bared their throats in submission before me.
"Thana, please don't do this." Rafe begged.
I hated their pitiful efforts, disgust shooting through me as they fought to defend this murderer even though they knew the truth. She deserved this. Why couldn't they fucking understand that!?
"My loyal sons." Ulfa whispered in relief and I saw crimson.
"Thana, I understand your need to kill her but you can't." Rafe continued. I cut him off with a growl that had the hairs on their arms standing on end.
"You can't because this isn't right. This isn't you." Raul explained, which made no fucking sense. They didn't even fucking know me. They understood nothing.
"If you do this, you would destroy the Pack. There are many things going on in the world that you don't know and we need the Pack at full strength when those things come to a head." Raul said. I growled again.
I knew exactly what was going on in the world right now, more than even what they think they knew.
I was the Keeper of the Wall, the final tether that kept the entire fucking godsdamn living plain from descending into a darkness it can never recover from. If I fall, the Wall falls. I protected this world with my very fucking soul. Literally. The chains that keep this shitstorm under wraps was created from my essence of being. But they didn't know that, no one can ever know that. It was one of the few most sacred laws a necromancer had to abide by.
"Thana...please. She's our mom." Rafe whispered shakily.
I loathed the sight of his tears, so unbefitting on my strong unshakable alpha Rafe. If I killed Ulfa the twins would hate me forever and I would gain two powerful foes who would stop at nothing to hunt me down. Was my personal revenge worth that? Was it worth it losing both of them all over again? I...didn't know. I don't fucking know.
Wracked with uncertainty, I didn't notice Ulfa's paws swiping out to dig deeply in my chest. White hot pain surged through me as she tore into me, and I released her instinctively as I reeled back. I could hear the twins shouting in horror as Ulfa slammed me down, pinning me to the forest floor as she rose above me in a dominant position. A heavy paw to my throat cut off my air supply as she swooped her head down to my exposed belly.
"Thank you my sons. Now we can rid this earth of this abomination once and for all." Ulfa said in dark glee as the points of her fangs dug into the one soft point of my body.
I howled in agony and anger, struggling weakly as the blood loss finally sapped my strength. Fuck the Gods, I should've never believed again in the quad. Even for a second. In the end, even they have betrayed me. My soul cried in sorrow at what the world is to become with my death. Innocents will know horrors they have never experienced even in their nightmares when the Wall crumples. I wouldn't be able to maintain the chains if I lost my physical form, they would lose the tether they sorely needed. Gods, I didn't deserve this. I had never asked for this. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die.
Suddenly, a blur of pure black tackled Ulfa off me. Pure, sweet oxygen flooded my lungs as I struggled to recover from the damage Ulfa inflicted on me. I staggered to my feet, swaying as my blurred vision saw double as Ulfa grappled with a wolf that was fucking ginormous. Hell, the beast topped me by over a head and was the size of a small horse.
"Rafe, what are you doing!?" Ulfa gasped in the mental link, making me blink in surprise. Rafe has saved me??
"Just because I saved you Mom doesn't mean you can kill her." Rafe replied angrily.
Ulfa gaped in shock. "My son. She is a scourge of this world and it is our duty to remove her."
My vision decided to tunnel when Rafe shook his head in denial, my body listing to the side as I lost my footing. I landed against a muscled, warm flank and I lazily lolled my head up to look at Raul as the scent of earth and smoke overrode the scent of fear still in the air. Raul's luminous forest green eyes peered down at me in concern and my heart gave a lope-sided beat.
"Are you okay?" He asked quietly while Rafe argued with Ulfa.
"I've had worse but this is still pretty bad. I'm about to pass out." I admitted in a moment of weakness. Those beautiful peepers were getting to me.
"Just hang on. We'll get you out of this. Alive." Raul assured me. Gods, I really wish I could believe in that hardened determination on his wolfy face.
Raul was a shade lighter than his brother and just a smidge shorter, but that did not diminish his strength. My wolf practically drooled at his wolf, and if we had enough strength to wag our tail it would totally be wagging right now. Fuck, I really needed to get laid soon.
"The Kages had always been loyal friends to the Pack. What changed? What really happened that night?" Rafe questioned.
Ulfa huffed, disgust emanating off her in waves making the twins stiffen.
"As if the Pack would ever call those vile dark creatures friends. Amara betrayed us, betrayed your father. That can never be forgiven." Ulfa said.
"Auntie Amara never betrayed us!" Rafe growled. "Dad said the two of them parted on good terms. Their mate bond wasn't a soul bond or for life. It was just a need at the time when Dad rose the ranks so that they could save the Pack. She was our savior, not a traitor!"
I wanted to cry at Rafe's passionate defense of my mother. No one has ever defended her except me and to hear it now...damn my heart was racing despite my grievous blood loss.
"She was just a whore who succumbed to the dark like the weak slut she was." Ulfa shot back derisively.
I fucking should've snapped her other hind leg and made her an invalid for the rest of her life.
Rafe straightened to his full height, his body brimming with power as he stared down at his mother in disappointment and disgust. His illusion of a kind, loving parent has been thoroughly shattered by her own words. I could see and so could Ulfa since she balked.
"My son, you must see reason." She pleaded, her anger bleeding away to panic as it became very apparent that she might actually lose Rafe. "The abomination's dark powers has blinded you to the truth. You mustn't fall for her lies."
No, Mother. The lies I mustn't fall for are yours." Rafe replies coldly making Ulfa flinch. If she had been in human form she would be as pale as a sheet and shitting her knickers.
"Rafe,"
"We are leaving, Mother. With Thana, and we will never come back until you cease this threat against her. I swear it." Rafe vowed, his glowing amber eyes hard as a gold bar as he turned his back on his mother and Luna in the ultimate show of disrespect.
"And if I don't?" Ulfa whispered defiantly as Rafe came to my other side to help Raul prop me up.
"Then we will sever our ties with the Pack and call you mother no more." Rafe stated simply without an ounce of hesitation. If I had the strength to gasp, I would.
To save my life, Rafe and Raul would give up everything. All their power, their family, their entire way of life. They would forever be labeled as outcasts to all shifters, traitors to the Pack for defying the Luna. Holy fucking shitballs of fire, they are fucking nuts.
"You can't do that..." I murmured hesitantly, my stomach clenching at the thought of all the ramifications the twins might face because of their actions to rescue me.
Rafe's eyes softened as they looked at me and I held my breath at the raw emotion I saw there.
"We can and if we have to, we will. For you Thana, we will do anything to keep you safe." Rafe said. My battered soul started sobbing at the heartfelt words, but I would never admit that.
"You are lost." Ulfa cried sorrowfully, and then with a bone-aching howl, the Pack dispersed into the forest. But I knew this wasn't the end, not even close.