The Secret Life of Malia Dall...

By simplicational

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Malia Dallas has hid herself behind closed doors for three years trying to find a way to get rid of the guilt... More

The Secret Life of Malia Dallas
Chapter 1 - Chanter
Chapter 2 - Se Casser
Chapter 3 - S'amuser
Chapter 4 - Les Garçons
Chapter 5 - Feu D'artifice
Chapter 6 - Citations
Chapter 7 - L'hockey de la rue
Chapter 8 - Cuire
Chapter 9 - Avions
Chapter 10 - Mes Livres
Chapter 11 - Végétarien
Chapter 12 - Le Premier Jour
Chapter 13 - Découvert
Chapter 14 - Pardonné
Chapter 15 - De Harry Potter
Chapter 16 - Réponses
Chapter 17 - NAFs
Chapter 18 - La Plage et Nouveaux Amis
Chapter 19 - Idées
Chapter 20 - Mi Familia
Chapter 21 - Voyager
Chapter 22 - Faire du Shopping
Chapter 23 - Meilleurs Amis
Chapter 24 - Bibliothèque
Chapter 25 - L'hôpital
Chapter 26 - Librairies et Café
Chapter 27 - S'endormir
Chapter 28 - Insomnie
Chapter 29 - S'embrasser
Chapter 30 - S'évanouir
Chapter 31 - Gags et les coeurs brisés
Chapter 32 - Danser Sous La Pluie
Chapter 33 - Questions et Impressions
Chapter 34 - Gâteau
Chapter 35 - Anniversaires
Chapter 36 - La Farce D'ultime
Chapter 37 - Lo Incontro
Chapter 38 - Les Aveus et Les Histoires
Chapter 39 - Recuerdos
Chapter 40 - La Glace et des Oreillers Moelleux
Chapter 41 - Avec Moi
Chapter 42 - Simplement en Regardant
Chapter 43 - Merci
Chapter 44 - Les Petites Choses
Chapter 45: Surprendre
Chapter 46: Au Revoir
Chapter 47: My Little Secret
Chapter 48: Insostituibile
Chapter 49: Peleas de Helado
Chapter 51: Amigas
Chapter 52: Le Projet
Chapter 53: White
Chapter 54: Mort
Chapter 55: Normalite
Chapter 56: Coming Home
Chapter 57: 11 days
Chapter 58: Reunions
Chapter 59: Photonaf Diaries
Chapter 60: Omaha
Chapter 61: You're Mine
Chapter 62: Happy Birthday
Epilogue

Chapter 50: Leugens

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By simplicational

PLEASE GO READ THE ROOMMATE!!! I PROMISE IT IS SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS BOOK

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Chapter 50: Leugens

Malia's POV

I feel grown up today. I'm waking up early to go to 'work' at the studio. I couldn't stop smiling or squealing out of happiness at how professional all of this was.

"Okay, calm down Malia," I kept telling myself but it was a bit hard. I didn't have to be at the studio until 9:30am and it was only 7:00am now. I walked into my closet and started pacing back and forth.

"So think about this Malia, do you want to go for that lazy chic kind of look or do you want to look professional, because what if there are paparazzi there?" I kept going back and forth with myself, not sure what I should wear. I checked the weather on my phone to see what the weather would be and it was saying the high would be 89 degrees and the low 65 degrees. "No. You know what Malia? It doesn't matter what everyone else thinks, wear what you feel like wearing today," I finally told myself. I scanned through my closet one last time before picking a checkered two piece dress set. I then paired my outfit with my white converse. Since my outfit didn't have any pockets, much to my dismay I had to bring a purse with me. I picked up a beige colored satchel with brown buckles on it and shoved my wallet, phone, chap stick, earphones, and a bottle of water into the purse.

I didn't bother trying to wake Lily because she was still a little sick and so was Taylor. I'm surprised I didn't get sick. I checked the time and it was now 7:25am. I would have to wake up Jack and Jack soon if they weren't already awake. I walked into the kitchen and to my surprise I found Cameron making breakfast.

"Good morning," I said slightly confused.

"Morning," He said in a pretty cheerful tone.

"What's got you up so early?" I ask him.

"Just thought I would see my baby sister off to her first recording studio session," He said with a smile knowing that hearing the words 'recording studio session' made me giddy.

"Well isn't that thoughtful of you," I said as I slid onto one of the stools.

"Yeah, I'm a great big brother," He said with a chuckle.

"The best," I exaggerated as I set my purse down and walked over to the fridge to get some orange juice.

"Pretty soon this will be the daily occurrence," He said outloud.

"What are you talking about?" I asked as I sipped my orange juice.

"Well the way I see it, you've made some pretty good friends in the music industry and pretty soon you will be a big and upcoming artist yourself just like Shawn," Cameron stated.

"Isn't one of your jobs as my brother to not get my hopes up and to crush my dreams?" I questioned rhetorically.

"Yes, but it is also my job to be nice," He said with a smile. "Even if that means lying," He quickly stated afterwards.

"There's the brother I know and love," I said into my orange juice with an eye roll.

"Oh you know I'm only kidding. But seriously, you're pretty close to it, you could just reach out and touch it, you just gotta play your cards right," He said as he leaned over the counter.

"Advice from Cam? Hm, when did you get a degree in Psychology, this morning?" I taunted.

"Last night."

"Sounds like it," I stated and I heard he laughed before taking my orange juice.

"I SPIT IN THAT!" I warned him but he just looked at me as he drank the rest of it.

"You think I care?" He said with a devilish grin.

"I was hoping you would," I muttered to myself but he heard it anyway. "Cam, you're eggs are burning."

"Oh shoot!" He exclaimed as he went back to attending his now burnt food.

"I'm gonna go wake up Finny and Johnson while you, you fix that," I said with a giggle as I left the kitchen. I quickly found their room and knocked first, just to check to see if they were perhaps awake. When I got no answer I sighed and opened the door. I wasn't shocked when I found them fast asleep. Might as well take a picture, it'll last longer than this moment.

And if you're wondering, yes I did have to go all the way back downstairs into the kitchen to grab my phone from my purse, but hey it was worth it, because now I have a picture of the two passed out. I walked over to Johnson first and shook him lightly remembering what happened the last time I woke him up.

"Johnson," I whispered as I poked him and he groaned turning on his side away from me. "Come on you guys have to get up, you don't want to be late to the studio," I tell them.

"We're up, we're up," Johnson says from under his sheets. I checked the time and it was just about 8:00am so I trusted them enough to get themselves out of bed. I went back to my room to check on Lily and I found her sitting up on my bed rubbing her eyes.

"Morning sunshine," I said enthusiastically just because I knew it would get on her nerves. I received a groan in response as she fell back on the bed and stuffed a pillow in her face. I spotted the sd card from Nash's camera out of the corner of my eye and I realized I forgot to give it back to him. I picked up the sd card and found Nash's room. I left it on the nightstand next to his bed with a small note. I walked back to my room to see if Lily had made any progress in getting up and when I arrived she was still in the same position I had left her in. I walked over to the bed and sat down.

"Do you feel any better?" I asked her and I got a mumbled response. "I don't know what you just said," I told her.

"I said I feel a little bit better," She stated again.

"Well you know where the ibuprofen is and if you need help finding something just text me," I tell her as I get up from the bed.

"Thanks Malia," She said before I shut the door and I smiled in return. With that I went back downstairs to eat the burnt breakfast Cam had made for me.

Halfway through my breakfast I heard Gilinsky shuffle into the kitchen.

"You guys ready?" I asked.

"Let us eat first," He mumbled as he fell into a chair next to me. I checked the time and it was only 8:14am so I didn't have to rush them quite yet. I did see that they were dressed so once we were done eating we could head to the studio.

** ** ** ** **

I parked my car in the back parking lot just like I had a few days prior and we all started walking to the building's entrance. It was only 9:17 so we were a bit early. When we rounded the corner to enter the building we were practically blinded by flashes and paparazzi members. Someone pulled on my arm and I realized that Johnson had pulled me behind him so that I wouldn't get bombarded by the crazy photographers. Why are they even taking pictures of us anyway, it's not like we're famous or anything.

"WHERE'S ARIANA?"

"IS SHE DATING ONE OF YOU?"

"ARE YOU GUYS COLLABORATING ON HER NEW ALBUM?" Questions were coming from all different directions and it amazed me how they escalated so quickly. Once we managed to get inside the building we all let out a huge breath.

"Well that was not what I was expecting," Gilinsky said as we walked past Michelle to the elevators.

"Not at all," I said as I waved to Michelle and she smiled.

"Ariana is already in the studio with her mother, same as the other day," Michelle said as we stepped into the elevator.

"Thanks!" Johnson called back just before the elevator doors closed. We found the recording studio quickly and knocked on the door before entering. We heard a faint "Come in," from someone inside but couldn't recognize their voice.

We stepped into the recording studio and we saw Ariana, Joan, and someone I recognized but I couldn't quite place their face.

"Hi," The recognizable person said as we walked in. "I'm Scooter Braun, Ariana's manager," he said as he extended his hand to me and then the Jacks.

"Nice to meet you," We each said as we shook his hand. Ariana then walked over to us and greeted us with a smile.

"Well, now that you guys have officially met, all that's left to do is pretty much wow this guy with our awesome song," She said excitedly. I could feel myself getting hotter by the second. Now we have people to impress, like Scooter Braun is one of the biggest talent managers in the country. He also manages Justin Bieber, so if he likes the Jacks and/or me well our lives could take a huge turn.

"Get in the booth, let me hear what you got," Scooter said ushering us into the booth. I threw my purse onto the couch and followed Johnson into the booth and got set up.

"You guys ready?" I asked Jack J and he nodded. I let out a shaky breath and smiled to the best of my ability. Ariana gave Scooter a thumbs up and I heard the music start playing. Jack rapped first and then Gilinsky and I came in so I had some time to loosen up.

Get in the zone Malia, don't pay attention to Scooter or anyone else, just focus on you. Would you look at that, for once my brain is being nice to me. I started to relax a little bit and smile as Johnson finished his rap and then Gilinsky and I went straight to the chorus. I tried out a few new harmonies and I heard Ari come in with her riffs. I knew Ari wanted me to sing with her so I was prepared to come right in with her.

Johnson introduced her but he changed it a little bit, knowing I would be singing with her too.

"This is Jack and Jack, and now we got Malia Dallas and Ari so let's bring it back," He rapped into the microphone. It all went smoothly and we blended into the chorus with Gilinsky before Johnson ended the song and we all hit that last harmony.

"This has been the Jacks, and Mals, and Ariana Grande we took it back and now it's time for you to stand up and clap!"

I smiled as the song finished with a bang. Well now that, that's done I can actually breathe. Ari looked to Scooter through the window as she asked,

"So what do you think? Do they make the cut?"

"Definitely," He said with a smile and I couldn't refrain myself from jumping up and down. THAT JUST HAPPENED! "Before you three leave today come up to the top floor and see me in my office and we'll have a chat," He said before turning around and leaving the recording studio.

"DUDE! That did not just happen," Gilinsky exclaimed turning to Johnson right after Scooter left.

"I can't believe it," Johnson said dumbstruck.

"Well believe it because you guys are going to be featured on my next album," Ari said with a smile. "Now we get to listen to the song thousands and thousands of times and we can see what we want to change," She said as we exited the booth.

After probably listening to it 83 times we had decided to change the key of the song because it sounded better higher, we gave Johnson a few words before came in, we decided to let Jack sing the first chorus alone, we split the second verse in half for Ari and me to sing solo, the last chorus was for Ari and Jack, and the bridge was all of Johnson's.

We recorded it that way a few times to get a feel for it before eventually deciding on finishing it up tomorrow.

"I'll see you guys tomorrow!" Ari said as she left the studio. We had to go meet with Scooter now.

"Yeah see you tomorrow!" I called back to her. We rode the elevator up to the top floor and with the help of a few secretaries we were able to find Scooter's office. When we came in he was on the phone so we just sat on the couch and quietly waited. Once he hung up he turned to us with that stereotypical businessman smile and his arms wide open like 'come give me a hug' kind of open arms.

"So, when Ariana first called me to request to do a song with you guys I had no idea who you were," He said. Well that didn't surprise me. "So of course I did my homework and I see that you two," he said pointing to Jack and Jack, "Already have a few songs out. I then found you," He said pointing to me. "There wasn't much on you. I found your YouTube channel but most of your videos aren't of your singing. I found a collaboration of you with Shawn Mendes and it was good. Then after much searching I found some videos from the Magcon Tour of you singing. Granted they were all taken on phones so it wasn't the best sound quality, but you proved your worth today," He explained. I was practically frozen to the couch.

"Thanks," I managed to get out.

"So naturally because you will be featured on Ariana's album you have to do some paperwork and sign some contracts saying that you won't release the song early or anything," He said like he had done this millions of times before, which he has. He handed us the paperwork and told us to give it to him tomorrow.

"Oh and in the future I can't promise that I will manage you but I can help you with some record labels and putting out an EP, that's the best I can offer right now. I don't know how successful you will be in the future, it's all up to public opinion sadly, so impress me and maybe in the future we may meet again under different circumstances," He said to us before his secretary showed us the way out.

"Was it just me or were we just low key offered a business deal with Scooter Braun in the future?" Johnson said as we stepped into the elevator.

"You think that's low key. I felt some good vibes like I'm saying middle key," I said as we rode the elevator down.

"Well whatever just happened, I think he gave us a challenge to pretty much prove our worth," Gilinsky said as we walked into the lobby and waved to Michelle.

"So this pretty much means for the next few years of our lives we have to keep a clean profile and stay on people's good side. Well I mean of course you want to do that all the time but we just can't blow up," I stated. "This could get hard, because now we are restricted from being ourselves," I told them.

"How about this, we still be ourselves, because we are great people, but we just have to be aware that people could be watching," Gilinsky suggests.

"Okay sounds good," Johnson and I said right as we stepped out of the building just to be confronted with the same paparazzi.

"I can't believe they are still here," I said to myself but Johnson heard it.

"It is their job," He said. "They're just way too dedicated," He said with a laugh and I laughed at it too.

"ONE QUESTION PLEASE!" Was all I was hearing as we tried to make our way through the endless amount of people. I finally turned around and looked at all of the reporters and photographers. They were stretching out their hands trying to get my attention and shoving microphones in my face. I instantly regretted my decision and quickly ran to catch up with Jack and Jack.

"MALIA ONE QUESTION!"

"JACK AND JACK HOW ARE YOUR CAREERS?"

"WHAT'S YOUR NEXT STEP IN LIFE?"

I'm pretty sure this won't be a daily occurrence considering it's only Malia Dallas and Jack and Jack. They're only here because Ariana was here and they just want to know about her album, not ours.

Eventually we made it back safely to my car.

"Talk about a rough day at the office," I said with a chuckle as I backed my car out of the parking lot and we headed home. We made it back to my house by 5:00 due to the meeting with Scooter. When we got inside we gathered around the kitchen counter to start filling out some of the paper work. A lot of it was signing and just filling out basic information. I finished it within 15 minutes and so did both Jacks.

"Well let's see what everyone is up to," Gilinsky said as we stacked the paper work by the door so we wouldn't forget it tomorrow.

We went downstairs to the game room to see if everyone had gathered there but when we walked in we found something we didn't expect. All the guys and Lily were huddled around a computer.

"What are you guys doing?" I asked as we stepped into the room. Suddenly they all turned to face us like they had been caught red-handed. I was really confused as to what was happening and everyone was just looking at us with worried faces except for Matt. He looked to be a bit pissed off.

"Did we miss something?" Johnson asked hesitantly.

"You might want to read this," Lily said as she handed me the laptop. I held it up so Gilinsky and Johnson could read it too. It was an article that had been published just a few hours ago on HollywoodLife.com

JACK GILINSKY AND JACK JOHNSON SEEN WITH MALIA DALLAS GOING INTO RECORDING STUDIO AFTER ARIANA GRANDE

By: Lauren Cox

This morning at around 9:00am Ariana Grande was spotted entering her recording studio as usual. However, what was unusual was the trio that followed after her at around 9:15am. The three have been confirmed as Magcon performers and internet sensations, Jack Gilinsky, Jack Johnson, and Malia Dallas (sister of Cameron Dallas).

It was confirmed in an interview earlier this year that Malia Dallas, 16, is currently dating co-Magcon performer and internet sensation, Matthew Espinosa, and has been since late July of 2014. Many fans took to twitter to share their feelings about their relationship, mostly supportive of Mattalia.

But could Mattalia be over?

As the trio (Jack Gilinsky, Jack Johnson, Malia Dallas) were entering the recording studio paparazzi caught a shot of Jack Johnson reaching out and grabbing Malia's hand. He then continued to hold her hand all the way until they were in the building.

Now Jack Johnson could just be watching out for short 5'0 Malia by grabbing her hand to make sure she didn't get lost, but it is up for debate.

Video: Jack Johnson Grabs Malia Dallas' Hand upon Entrance to Recording Studio

Let us know what you think in the comments. Was Jack making a move on Malia or was he just being a good friend and protecting her from the cameras?

Well that would explain why Matt doesn't look all too happy. I wasn't thrilled reading this. But this is what the media does.

"Matt you know that these people are just trying to write an interesting story," I tell him. "Also he grabbed my arm, not my hand," I pointed out.

"Yeah, come on man. You know me, I would never do that," Jack said. "I really just didn't want her getting lost or bombarded by all of them."

"I know, I know and that's what I told myself when I read it but it doesn't make me happy when the media decides to make it look bad," Matt muttered.

"So are we all okay?" I asked trying to ease the tension in the room.

"Yeah," Matt said and I let out a breath of relief as I walked over to him and gave him a hug.

"If you want we can make a YouNow about it, because I bet the Nafians are either slamming the media because they know us, or they're freaking out," I told him.

"Yeah we can do that," He said.

"You guys should all be in it too, I think that the Nafians would like seeing all of us together," I told everyone and we eventually agreed. We set the laptop up so that the camera could see all of us and then we all tweeted it off of our phones.

@MaliaIDallas: some stuff went down today, watch us on Matt's YouNow

We got YouNow up and running but we waited a bit before we started so that more Nafians could get on.

"Do you wanna start?" Matt asked me and I looked at the camera then back at him.

"Sure," I said before I took a deep breath. "So if you guys haven't heard or read about what happened with Jack and me this morning I'll break it down for you briefly. So this morning both Jack and Jack and I went to a recording studio. We weren't expecting there to be paparazzi there, so when we got to the front of the building we were a bit shocked. So as we were making our way to the entrance of the building, Jack, grabbed my arm and pulled me behind him to make sure I wouldn't get bombarded by photographers or get left behind. But the media then portrayed it as us holding hands, which wasn't what happened at all," I explained. We all watched as the comments flew by in the chat box thingy and it was really hard to read them because of how fast they were moving.

"Yeah and it only lasted a couple of seconds, I just grabbed her arm and followed Jack to the door," Johnson said.

"Yeah there's no reason for any of you guys to freak out about it, Matt and I are doing just fine," I said with a smile as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

"But you guys are going to have to get used to these random articles coming up about us, because we all know that the media twists actions and words because they want to get reads. We understand that it's their job but at the same time we would like our privacy. Just know that you can't always trust what you read online, if something is going on with us we will tell you when the time is right. It's not that we like keeping information from you but at the same time, some of it is personal, and we also need time to process things," Gilinsky says.

"With that said, let's move away from that topic and we'll answer a few questions for you guys before we go to dinner," I say.

"When is Magcon starting up again?" Taylor reads off of his phone. He must be on twitter. I didn't know, I turned to Cam and he shrugged.

"I don't know," I said with a shrug. "I think it starts sometime in October though, not entirely sure," I tell the Nafians.

"Oh I saw someone ask what you guys were doing at the studio this morning," Lily said. I smiled.

"Would you like to do the honors?" I asked Gilinsky.

"I sure would," He said with a smile. "You guys probably saw that we were with Ariana a few days ago from Twitter pictures. So to put it in short, Malia, Jack, and I are recording a song with Ariana," He stated. "We can't say too much about it but Malia is releasing a video on Sunday of our experience in the recording studio with Ariana."

"We can't tell you the name of the song, but all I can say is that it has been an honor working with her and to be able to make music with two of my closest friends is just amazing," I said.

"Alright, someone asked if we have ever dyed our hair and if so what color?" Cam read off of his phone.

"I have dyed mine blonde," Nash says.

"I think I dyed my hair green one time," Gilinsky says.

"I think I dyed part of my hair red for a football game," Matt said as he ran a hand through his hair. I haven't dyed my hair any color and I don't really think I will any time soon. Maybe it will change.

"What was your lowest grade in school?" I read off of my phone. "Oh, this could be good," I said.

"I'm assuming you mean on a test, quiz, or essay, not like a homework assignment," Hayes said. "I'm pretty sure it was 43%, I don't remember what it was on but it was pretty bad," Hayes admitted.

"50% chemistry quiz," Lily admitted.

"49% on a math test," Cameron said sheepishly.

"35% I think it was on a math test too," Nash said scratching his head.

"33% on a science exam," Carter said.

"67% on a history test," Johnson said.

"48% on that same history test," Gilinsky said with a laugh.

"26% on a biochemistry pop quiz. In my defense it was out of 12 points and everyone did really badly," Taylor said.

"51% and I think it was in Spanish," Aaron said trying to remember.

"52.35% on a 13 point AP Euro quiz," I answered remembering the day perfectly. That was a bad day.

"50% on a Latin quiz," Matt answered last.

"Well we have now revealed our deepest darkest secrets that have haunted us from the beginning of time," Carter said evilly. "Just kidding, we're not geniuses we mess up."

"Alright last question before we leave for dinner," I announced.

"How long is Lily staying with you guys?" Aaron read off of his phone.

"Well considering school starts after Labor Day weekend for me I am flying back to Florida on Monday," She said with a sad face.

"Well thanks so much for listening to our weird answers and explanations we hope you have a great night but we gotta go eat dinner!" Nash said and we all waved before shutting the live feed down.

** ** ** **

We actually went out to eat instead of ordering in. When we got back it was around 8:30pm. Lily and Taylor were now feeling a lot better and I think they only need one more night of sleep before they are fully recovered.

Thankfully, we were able to eat our dinner in peace and no paparazzi showed up.

I let Lily get her shower before me so she could hopefully fall asleep quicker. In the mean time I switched out the laundry and took off my bed sheets and Taylor's bed sheets and put on the clean ones I got from the dryer. I then put the dirty ones back in the wash. Once I was done with that Lily had gotten out of the shower and was putting on her pajamas.

I took a nice relaxing 15 minute shower before slipping on some grey sweatpants and my Stilinski Lacrosse sweatshirt. When I stepped out of the bathroom and into my bedroom I was thankful to see that Lily was fast asleep. I quickly grabbed my phone and laptop along with my headphones before heading up to the loft.

I made myself comfortable on the floor before I opened up my laptop to start some homework. I was almost finished with my analytical essay for AP Lang when someone came up to the loft.

"What are you doing up here?" Matt asked as he came over and sat down.

"Homework," I replied as I forced my eyes to look away from my screen and to Matt.

"Why not just do it in your room?" He asked. His hair was wet so he had recently showered and he smelled really good. He smelled clean but it was like Matt clean, sounds weird but I know what I'm talking about.

"Well when I do homework sometimes I can get frustrated, but I also talk to myself a lot when I do it, mostly with essays. I read them out loud to the point where my voice is sore," I tell him.

"Wow," He said.

"Yup, so what are you up to?" I asked him as I saved my essay before closing my laptop so I could turn my full attention to Matt.

"Well I was just going to come up here to find my girlfriend and see if I can spend some time with her," Matt said as he leaned in closer and closer to me causing me to laugh a bit.

"Well you found her," I whispered into his ear.

"Yes I did," He whispered back before gently kissing me on the lips. He laid me down gently onto the floor still kissing me but his lips had moved to my jaw line but they found their way back to my lips. Matt's fingers were trailing through my hair and my hands were cupping his cheeks.

Eventually we had to stop because I mean air is kind of important.

"I love you," He said as he laid down next to me.

"I love you too," I said back and I grabbed his hand and we just looked up at the ceiling for a while before he broke the silence.

"Tell me something that's really important to you but you don't talk about," He said. It caught me off guard because no one had ever asked me about it. I had to think about it for a while before I could find something.

"I really like to write but not like book writing. I will get random thoughts at like four in the morning about love or friendship or insecurities and I end up just writing for hours about how I feel about them or what they mean to me. Like the summer before my tenth grade year was probably when it happened the most. I was always on tumblr and listening to music, and I was alone so I didn't have much else to do. But I learned a lot that summer. I learned the importance of loving yourself and acceptance of others. All of that is really important to me, the idea of loving yourself and being able to be who you are as a person, but not just that. It is one thing to be yourself and have no shame but at the same time you're preaching that to everyone else so you have to learn to accept everyone else being themselves too. Sometimes I don't always agree with other people's decisions but they have every right to have their own opinion and you just have to learn to accept that. Sometimes it's hard for me to see other people gang up on someone because their opinion is the unpopular one in the room, even if I don't agree with it, I still don't like seeing anyone being torn down because of their opinion. But that's really important to me, valuing yourself and other people around you."

"Why don't you talk about it?" He asked as his head turned to look at me but I kept looking at the ceiling.

"I mean did you just hear what I said. People don't go around saying stuff like that out loud all the time. I know what I just said about being yourself contradicts all of this but I mean I'm not always thinking about this, but most people don't see everything the same way as I do and I don't mean to give that a bad connotation. But everyone sees the world differently, it's really hard to take a step back and look at it from a different perspective. If I were to talk about stuff like this to the Nafians or even some of the guys I would probably just get told I'm deep and it would make the situation uncomfortable because it's something I actually care about and have an opinion about. Like how often do we talk about racism or sexism with all the guys? I haven't had a single conversation with them regarding how they feel about it. It's probably because people don't want to get into arguments and people don't like to start talking about stuff that is actually an issue because that just isn't a 'fun' conversation topic. Maybe I'm wrong but most people don't talk about stuff like this with other people unless they are really comfortable around the other person," I tell him truthfully as I turn my head to look at him.

"Well I'm glad you told me," He said with a smile.

"What about you, what's something important to you that you don't talk about?" I asked suddenly curious. He looked to be thinking for a second before he started talking.

"Honestly, everybody's hopes and dreams for the future. Like, I can remember ever since I was little I wanted to be an actor and make it in life and look at me now? I'm not an actor but I am pretty close and I couldn't be happier, but the thing is it always bothered me why I was the one who got to live this life. I'm not the only person who wants to become an actor or do something big with their life. It's so hard every day knowing that I'm living a life that someone else is dying to have. It sounds depressing but it really matters to me. I just don't think it's fair to everyone else in the world," He said.

"I know how you feel, you feel guilty because you know there are people who are better at what you do or what you want to do in life but you're the one with the good life," I mumbled.

"Yeah, and I mean I can't just randomly bring it up in conversations because it has this dark vibe to it that's really depressing and no one wants to put that into their dinner conversations."

"Well you know you can talk to me about anything," I tell him as I snuggle up closer to him and rest my head on his chest.

"I know, it's one of the reasons I love you," He whispered into my hair as I closed my eyes and fell asleep.

Thanks for reading, I don't know what to think about this chapter...just let me know in the comments. Also who do you relate most to so far? Comment below! Leugens means lies in Dutch (hopefully)

xoxo
- simplicational's queen

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