standing at the balcony, eyes closed, letting the ocean breeze invade my lungs and listening to the rythms of my unbecoming thoughts.
Many things rushed in my mind, I couldn't help wonder how's everything back home, how's Navy and everyone else doing and most of how's my company.
I wish Fatima and Lamin were still around. Their company was really a good distraction, since they arrived I didn't feel bored no get lost in thinking.
To be honest I wished we'd met in a different situation.
I look at the watch on my wrist, it was quarter pass six in the evening. Fifteen minutes more to go.
I stood there looking at the surrounding.
everything outside looks beautiful and relaxing but nothing feels right. i feel like my heart was elsewhere , Navya was right. I should talk to Manik, and this is the right time to do so, I mentally convinced myself watching him play ludo with his Sanna maybe fiancé or future fiancé who knows.
I felt as if though everything around me was on fire.
To say the least Jealous would be an understatement!. Although we are not in a relationship.
I couldn't help feeling otherwise.
"No..no..noo, that's cheating Sanz.." Manik was giggling as she continue tickling him.
A smile curve on my lips as I continue to look and admire this side of him, he's a child at heart, I couldn't help but feel jealous, i wished We were that okay, I wish I could play with him like that, I wish I was the reason for this beautiful new sight of him that I was enjoying from far, I wish I was the one making him laugh out so loud amidst the chaos.
i wanted to go pull him into a hug and rest my head on his chest,
But I wasn't in the place to do that.
We are nothing as it is.
Suddenly I realize it's pointless to stay, i have to go, We don't belong together . as much as I think I like him and enjoy his company I have so many things to take care of back home.
"This is it" I decided I'm going back weather he is ready or not, weather he likes it or not, he doesn't own me anyway so he can't stop me.
i really needed to talk to him and let him know that just staying around won't solve anything if he can play, laugh as if nothing happens I can't and I have to go home. But another part of me wanted him to held me tight tonight; really close, really tight and grace me with endless forehead kisses.
But who was I kidding, he had better things to do with better people I guess.
Hearing Sanna's laugher echoing at the tea table, I gave up on the dream of even sharing his house tonight.
Afraid of being caught staring at them I turned my back facing the sea.
.
.
.
After a while My own thoughts took me by surprise.
I inhaled his scent on my neck from behind, he Wrap his arms around me, hold me close, fold me into him and let my head rest on his chest.
"You will catch cold out here you know" his hands Turning into something i never thought it could be.
"What do you care, go back to your lover" I said moving away from him.
Laughing out loud he said "yes you're very right but not just my lover but also your future sister in law"
His answer didn't surprise me much I knew from the start there was something but what I didn't get is the last part. How is she my sister in law?. so I look at him cluelessly.
"She's Dave's sister, her mum and my mum came way back so we are like siblings. she's like a family too, me we grow up spending weekends At each other's house but mostly they stayed with us because their mum is always traveling."
When he finished I couldn't tell what I was feeling, relief to know that it wasn't what I thought and embarrassed at how I treated her since she got here "WAW" I uttered.
Manik looked at me as if he was reading my thoughts "Don't worry she's not mad at you" he spoke after seconds of observing my expressions and continued talking.
"Nandidi i know nothing of what the future holds for me but i don't ever want you to not be a part of even if it's just as a friend"
He said looking down at the dark ocean from the ship's rail, Manik felt as though He was staring into an abyss.
"can i ask for your hands? i just need to hold onto something." He waited for me to go to him.
"don't just stare back at me,
come closer" he pulled me towards him
"i'm sorry for being the worst that has happened to you During this 6 months, i swear i'm trying to be less than that." He took my right hand into his and I look at it to see a passport with an air ticket.
"Manik" I look at my hand and look at him confused.
"I promise I will never hurt you again nor will you ever be hurt by something or someone that has to do with me," he promise kissing the back of my hand "You have a safe place here, Right here Nandini In my arms , whatever you want. However you want it just ask and it shall be giving, Whatever burdens you carry right now Set them free on me,"
"But..."
"It's all settled, don't worry you're no more a fugitive, you can go back to your normal life and live normally with your family and friends. nothing and no one will bother you" he left my hand and I felt my heart separated from my lungs, was he leaving me, was he going away too? But where? And how did he beat me to it,
I stood still confused, unaware of what was happening and how it all happened. a part of me was happy because I really wanted to go home but Another part of me wasn't. I felt like I was still in the dark because I was still in the dark. Questions were raining in my head, I didn't know what to do or say or how to ask the simplest question.
"And you" I ask fighting the urge to cry.
my heart panting as if I had been running a marathon,
"I will be fine Nandidi" he got closer than he ever was, pulling a strand of my hair tucking it behind my back. "But wherever I end up we will still be friends right"
"Friends? Did he just say friends?" i mentally ask myself.
"right?" he ask handing me a small box and contact card " Nandini a lot has happened between us since we met and I don't regret any of it, I can't deny that I'm attracted to you and enjoy your company, I also can't hide the fact that I really like you"
he paused for a moment "but we are in a situation where other everything around us is falling apart, as your biggest investors are threatening to pull out, which will lead to your company shutting down, your mum is worried sick, Friends and employees career is on the line"
From curious to anger because what was happening was ridiculous again he has decided everything without my knowledge. I was really getting angry but I remembered Navya's advice and keep calm
"Manik.."
"Nandidi please let's not fight this time " he spoke so softly I barely heard him. "Please"
"Fine then start from what happened last night , tell me everything I need to know" I gestured him to start talking.
"Okay friend"
"Friends..? I didn't agree to that yet" I replied as he smile and dragged me down to sit with him on the sand. I wasn't really happy just trying to keep things light,
:
:
:
He explains everything about his conversation with Cabirr since the gala, what led to his state last night, how I was allowed to go back.
He told me everything that I needed to know.
"I wish it wouldn't come to this Nandini but."
"It's okay Manik, it's really oo..Kay" I manage to say fighting the river of tears threatening to come down.
He was right we are in a situation where we have to put ourselves last and fix the damages done because of our recklessness.
"Hyeee..are you crying.." I ask wiping my face as I heard him sniffing.
"No"
"You lair come here" I place his head on my shoulder .
While ago i needed him to hold me tonight, little did I know I would be the one holding him together" look Manik it's okay to be sad, it's okay to cry and it's okay to be vulnerable. that's what makes us humans" he embrace me really Tight and grace me with endless forehead kisses. "We will meet again Nandini"
"I hope so" replying with a whisper I couldn't stop my tears any more and I couldn't say much.
Whatever happened was meant to happen and I respect his choice even if it hurts, even if I know another part of me breaks on the "friends" word I can't force anything on him is time to go our separate ways.
"Ummmhmmm Am I interrupting anything" Dave came out of nowhere , startling Manik and I
"We will talk tomorrow " he whispered leaving a small kiss on my forehead and walked in.
I swear I did see him fidgeting, when he was going, he looked back at me. The indifference was replaced by sadness in his eyes.
"Coffee" Dave ask holding two mugs.
"No, thanks. Sleep will do, see you tomorrow" I left him standing there and walked in with a devastated mind.
****