AU?: Yep, otherwise that completely defeats the purpose of his crush(which is a dragon from one of my 8 fantribes)
Okay
Era: ok I did the math, He's 8yrs old when the dragonets of Destiny are now 16, and since in arc 1 they were 6, arc 2 probably took place a year after, so this is 9 years after the second arc
Yep! Okay, pretty good. Thanks for specifying — some would probably put "a little while after DoD" which is a bit vaguer than I'd prefer.
Name: Heatwave
Good name. Think I've seen it once before, but whatever
Age: 8
Okay
Gender: Male
Okay
Sexuality: Straight
Alright (I need to figure out more neutral words of acknowledgment-)
Tribe: Rain/Sand(Dominantly Rainwing since his mother was a rainwing)
Not how genetics work. But meh; it doesn't matter that much.
Other than that, I would love to know how that particular hybrid occurred, since, y'know, the rainforest and desert are all the way across the continent. But let's see anyway.
Leader: Queen Glory
Okay
Abilities: He can spit Rainwing venom; He has that barbed tail, so he has Sandwing venom too. He can change the colour of his scales, but he prefers not to, he has a huge problem with showing his emotions.
There are... a few things wrong with this.
First of all, it's pretty unlikely for half-sands to get a barbed tail, so I recommend removing that. The RainWing venom's okay, though.
Also, I recommend keeping them a solid color, and another thing: RainWings don't choose to show their emotions. It just kinda... happens. They can choose to change their colors, but sometimes their emotions show through their scales without them meaning to, so I don't understand that last sentence there.
Rank: not an Icewing
Uh... What?
No, wait. No.
I get that IceWings have a drastically different way to labeling which dragon has what rank, but you still need to add a rank.
For example, take the last OC I rated, Goshawk. She's a JMA teacher. Or Everglade, the one before that: a healer. What does your character do? "Rank" is essentially another way of saying "Occupation," I suppose, though occupation is a more limited term.
Appearance: I'll tag
Okay, so looking at the picture you've provided, Heatwave's appearance is pretty... bland. Especially since you've only given me the headshot of him, and I've got no idea what the body below looks like, and because you didn't include anything to describe that, I'm just going to assume that the rest of his body is as bland as the headshot.
Also, where on earth does the SandWing part of him come to play? Oh right... through the unrealistically given tail barb and nothing else. And maybe the horns, too, since those are clearly not RainWing horns.
Actually, thinking about it, I realize that the eyes are probably also a reference to the SandWing part of him. I get artistic creativity and all (I do it too with my SandWing drawings sometimes), but in case you weren't aware, SandWings don't have white pupils and slapping that onto your OC as a way to reference the SandWing part of him is... not good. If the only three (possibly four, if the horns are supposed to be SandWing horns) references to his hybridism are the name, unrealistic tail barb, and SandWing eye pupil color that isn't even canon, then I highly recommend altering his appearance (and additionally, his siblings, if I'm guessing correctly).
Personality: Heatwave is slightly claustrophobic and usually sleeps alone for suntime. Although he has tried joining his siblings' huddle once, he didn't get any sleep that suntime; He has very slight insomnia, as some suntimes he doesn't sleep at all, even if he isn't crowded; He's by far the smartest and most mature out of his siblings. He studies scrolls a lot; Even though they irritate his a lot, he still deeply cares for his siblings, no matter how much they tease him.
His personality is almost as bland as his appearance.
Okay so you mention his phobia, his preferences, his slight insomnia, and then add a summarized version of Starflight's personality into the mix.
Wonderful.
Backstory: I haven't really had him that long, and due to the fact he was created for the purpose of an art contest, I didn't really think of one...
Explains, but doesn't excuse, how bland his appearance and personality is.
Wait, no, it only explains the blandness of his personality; for an art contest, I would probably have expected a more impressive appearance.
Residence: He lives in the rainforest with his family.
Fair, I guess.
Family:
Spiral(Mother)
Spiral? What kind of RainWing name is Spiral?
Coyote(Father)
A generally overused name, but whatever, I suppose.
Venom(Brother/Oldest)
Eh. A pretty boring name.
Brightsting(Sister/Second Oldest)
Now there's a good name! I feel like I've seen it once before, but it's pretty cool anyway.
Dart(Brother/Youngest)
An ordinary name. I'm sure I've seen it before, but that's fine.
(His siblings appearances I can tag you to because they're attached to the same page his appearance is, his parents? Not so much...
That's fine. Family/friend descriptions are optional anyway.
Mate: N/A
Okay.
Crush: Hearth(Firewing/Female)
FireWings?...
We have SkyWings for a reason.
Dragonets: N/A
Wouldn't expect him to. He only just became an adult a year ago, lol.
Other: He and his siblings are quadruplets, Venom is the oldest, Brightsting is the second oldest, Heatwave is the third oldest, and Dart is the youngest
Now, here's the thing: their shared egg must have been HUGE. And, I know this might be a bit gross/gory or whatever, but realistically? Spiral would've died laying this egg because of how big it is, and Heatwave and his siblings probably would've died with her. Additionally, even in an egg four times the size of a regular egg, I doubt four dragonets would be able to fit in there without one of them merging with another (aka conjoined twins). I'm not an expert, and I won't pretend I am, but I know enough to know Quadruplet dragons existing without the mother dying or one of the siblings conjoining or dying is strange. Basically? This whole quadruplet situation is odd because none of Heatwave's siblings are dead or conjoined as a result of this unusual occurrence.
Overall Review:
The Good Parts::
— The names Heatwave and Brightsting are pretty good
The Bad Parts::
— The lack of backstory (additionally, the lack of explanation behind how Spiral and Coyote even met)
— The bad SandWing representation in his appearance/abilities, namely the unrealistic SandWing barb, the white pupils, and the color-changing scales.
— The lack of rank (not being an IceWing gives no excuse for this. Even RainWings have ranks)
— The bland appearance (and it lacks a lot of details, like what the whole body other than the neck + head looks like)
— The bland personality
— The name "Spiral"
— The weird quadruplet situation?? Dragon quadruplets don't make sense
How To Improve + Suggestions:
For the backstory — This one's pretty straightforward: give your OC a backstory.
For the SandWing representation — This one's pretty straightforward, too. If Heatwave was in the actual series, he'd appear more like a RainWing with bizarre eyes (SandWings don't even have those eyes) and enchanted by an animus to have a barbed tail. Artistic creativity when drawing your OC's fine, but using an artistically creative drawing as your OC's reference has a good chance of contradicting the canon. I suggest ditching the whole Sand/Rain thing, since it isn't realistic sense and isn't contributing to the character (right now, anyway. If you give him a backstory that included something that related to him being a sand/rain, then I wouldn't suggest ditching it; merely refining it into something more believable).
For the rank — Okay, pretty sure all of these are straightforward: give your OC a rank. RainWings have ranks as well as SandWings, so not giving your OC a rank at all is strange.
For the appearance — This time, it's less that it's almost nonexistant/not there, and more like it's horrifically dull and bland. Heatwave looks like a regular RainWing with no interesting or outstanding features (even RainWings have things like accessories, scars, different heights/weights, etc.) and it needs to be modified. Additionally — if you plan to give me a picture of what he looks like, don't give me just a headshot! A better way to go would be to use words and sentences to describe what your character looks like.
For the name "Spiral" — Either explain the name or change it, because, at this point, I'm convinced it isn't a RainWing name at all.
For the quadruplet situation — Maybe give them different appearances and make them just siblings, not quadruplets? Don't get me wrong; quadruplet dragons are an interesting concept, but utterly unrealistic when we're speaking about dragons and dragon eggs.
I suggest changing the name "Coyote" — It's a bit overused, honestly.
I suggest changing the name "Venom" — It's not precisely overused, but it's bland.
Additional Comments:
I think the real moral of the story here, is that if you give me an OC to review that was made for an art contest and had no further alterations after said art contest, then chances are you're not going to get the best rating.
My Rating:
3.1/10
Originality: 25/25 (This character is original)
Realism: 4/25 (2 points knocked off for the lack of rank, 1 point knocked off for the name "Spiral," 3 points knocked off for the quadruplet situation, 5 points knocked off for the appearance, 5 points knocked off for the lack of backstory, 5 points knocked off for the personality)
Interest: 0/25 (I'm not interested in this character)
Uniqueness: 2/25 (This character is not unique)