TRAINING WAS rigorous. Her personal trainer was not just focused on her powers, but rather had taken in interest in her strength in general. It was no secret that Andorra was weak physically, and after taking one look at her, the trainer immediately put her on a workout regiment that felt like it was more suited towards someone training for a marathon.
As she ran down the beaten path, her trainer in front of her a few paces, she realized that perhaps she should have taken gym class more seriously. Or, perhaps she should have tried her hand at sports.
They hadn't even gone very far, but Andorra was already out of breath, panting and cursing the pain in her side from a cramp.
"C'mon, Princess!" The trainer yelled. "Give me something to work with!"
She narrowed her eyes at those words, but she pushed herself to run a little faster. She was trying her hardest, but she wanted to start a little slower, maybe focus more on building her cardio up before throwing her into a mile run.
If she was being truthful to herself, she actually was thankful for the distraction. She wanted to curl up in her bed and think about Noah kissing her, over and over again. She wanted to close her eyes and relive it. She wanted to relive the moments at the pond, where she watched him smiling, bending towards the water, showing his emotions to nothing more than a reflection of her.
She wanted to think about Anders, her very own Prince, but she knew she'd have plenty of time later that night to think about how Anlithamy was taking away the freedom of her future. How they didn't trust her, and why would they? She knew why they were making her marry a Prince they raised, but it still hurt.
She focused on her running, on her breathing, trying to forget Anders, to forget the way Noah's lips had felt on hers, to forget the way he had smiled down at the pond as she danced in her bedroom in nothing more than her pajamas.
"Princess!" Her personal trainer yelled. "Why are you slowing down? Pick up the pace!"
She was terrified at how Noah was going to act after what had happened between them. She knew he was going to avoid her, that he was going to run and hide from her after showing such a vulnerable state.
In her dreams, he would sweep her off her feet and forget everything about Anlithamy and the caste system. In her dreams, he would never hide his emotions from her. He would talk to her and joke with her and throw snow at her, just like he had as a child.
But, as much as Andorra wanted that, she knew her dream version of Noah wasn't the boy she fell for.
She picked up her pace, feeling like she was chasing her trainer instead of running with him, and her lungs burned. She felt like she couldn't get enough air down her throat, and her legs hurt with every step. She remembered then why she never enjoyed gym.
As she rounded a bend in the road, she saw her trainer leaning against a tree, waiting for her. When she finally reached him, she stopped and pitched forward, leaning her hands on her thighs.
Without warning, she vomited all over the grass not once, but twice.
"So, I'll tell you right now what I didn't like. Your form was off, your pace was erratic, and you don't know how to breathe properly."
Anger slithered up her spine at his words. "I tried my hardest!"
"Your hardest isn't good enough."
She met his eyes with a glare, tasting venom on her tongue. "Listen, if you don't want to do this, then just stop. No one asked you to train my cardio!"
Her trainer kicked off of the tree and walked up to her, his arms crossed over his chest. There was something frosty in his expression that was such a telltale sign that he was a snow fae, and he flicked his long dark hair from his face.
"I'm not here to be your friend, Princess. I'm here to make sure that when someone tries to attack you, you're prepared."
She couldn't help the anger in her chest at his condescending words. She saw the truth in him, but didn't like what he had to say. She shoved him back, away from her, so that she could breathe.
The surprised look in his eyes didn't last long. "Good. Do that again."
Andorra shot another glare at him. "What for?"
"You just pushed me, without your physical body. You used your powers. Do that again."
For a moment, Andorra looked down at her hands, just then realizing he was right: she hadn't used her hands to shove him back. In the moment, she hadn't even noticed that it had been her powers that had moved him.
She looked back up at him, and mentally she pushed him back again, surprised when he was shoved off of his feet, his back landing hard onto the ground. Feeling a strange sort of urgency to continue using her powers while she could, she mentally reached out and picked him up, putting him back on his feet, as if she were reaching out with her own hand.
"Alright, keep going. Is that all you've got?"
Now that the anger was gone, Andorra had no use to keep hurting her trainer, so she turned her focus onto other things. She saw a small tree and with her mind, reached out and took hold of the base. Mentally, she yanked up, trying to pull it from the ground. She was met with some resistance, but she didn't give up. She yanked again and again, like she would if she were trying it with her own bare hands, until the tree was yanked from the ground and flying through the air.
She picked up the tree again with her mind, waving it through the air like a sword, knocking it into other trees until her mind began to throb. She set down the tree, immediately reaching up with her fingers to rub at her temples.
Her trainer watched with delighted eyes, clapping for her. "Good job. How did that feel?"
She continued to rub at her temples. "Like I was just reaching out with my hands, only... not." She stopped rubbing for a moment, looking at her hands in front of her as if she'd never seen them before. "Can everyone do that?"
Her trainer was walking up to her now, completely at ease. "Yes. Most faeries possess similar powers, but not every faerie hones their powers. Everyone can mentally move things, but not everyone has trained that power, and so they can't use it as well as others. Just like when you're training physically. Everyone has the capacity to run distances, or pick up weights, as long as their body allows them to, or their health isn't compromised. But, not everyone can run four miles, because they haven't trained to do so. Powers are the same. Only some faeries have can rearrange or glammer memories, even though everyone can technically train themselves to do so. It's all about what you pick and choose."
"Can everyone pick and choose all of them?"
Her trainer laughed. "Well, technically yeah. But most faeries don't have the willpower or strength to do so. It depends on your caste. A royal fae like yourself could train all of the basic power skills. But a faerie like your maid could not."
Her head snapped up at the mention of Melisande. "Why not?"
Her trained started to walk back to the palace, motioning for Andorra to follow. "Because certain faeries are born more powerful, physically and mentally. That's how it's always been. It's not some sort of rule against the help trying to learn all of the powers. It's just that, they physically and mentally could not handle it. They aren't strong enough. Just like how you're stronger mentally and physically than Sir Noah is... than I am."
She couldn't imagine herself stronger than Noah. "So then, what are the specialized powers? The ones that a Snow Faerie has over a Sun Faerie."
"Well, each Court has its own set of powers. Winter Court specializes in all things snow and ice, even if they aren't in the Snow Clan. The Night Clan, while more focused on shadow powers, can possess the ability to create snow and ice. Just like how the Snow Clan can use shadow powers as well. In your Court, your powers overlap. The Summer Court focuses a lot on eternal warmth and happiness."
Andorra thought for a moment about what it meant to be a banished clan without your Court. She wondered too what it must be like for a court missing a clan.
"Well, what about the Royal Court? Do their powers overlap?"
Her trainer shook his head. "No. The Royal Court is a mash up of different Courts together. So, the Royal Court consists of the King and Queen of Anlithamy, and all of the Princes and Princesses of the other Courts. For example, right now the leader of the Winter Court is Prince Puck, who resides in Winter Court, but works in the Royal Court. The leader of the Summer Court is technically Prince Desmond, even though you are Princess of Anlithamy and a part of Summer Court."
"So, each Court has a leader? And they're called Prince and Princess too?"
Her trainer hummed a positive response as the palace came into view. "You're the first Princess of the Royal Court. Usually there is only a King and Queen, but because your parents are missing, and you have been dubbed the next Queen, you exist. As does..." He led off, realizing then that perhaps she didn't know about her betrothed.
"Prince Anders, right? I know about him." She hooked her hands behind her back nervously. "Although, to be honest, I don't like the thought of marrying a stranger."
"It's your future, Princess." Her trainer gave her a pitied look. "Anlithamy knows what they're doing. Coronomus knows what He's doing."
Andorra didn't agree immediately. How could she, when her freedom was being taken away? "If my parents are missing, who is running Anlithamy?"
Her trainer immediately bowed as they approached the Palace. "Sir Noah."
Andorra didn't bow, but she did blush at the sight of Noah standing there, his hands tucked into his pockets so casually. His face was dismissive, but also stone cold. There was something calculating in his eyes that had her trainer still in a deep bow. "You are dismissed," he said to her personal trainer, who straightened. He turned to look back to Andorra with another bow, his face unreadable as he did so. Her once open trainer was now locked shut, presumably because of Noah standing not five feet away.
"Good job today, Princess. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow."
She nodded too, offering a smile as he ducked away into the Palace, leaving her alone with Noah. She wanted to continue learning more about Anlithamy, about her future, but she was suddenly shy in front of the boy who had kissed her only hours before.
Just remembering the kiss made her cheeks flair with heat. She missed his hands on her, but she said nothing as she looked down at her shoes, toeing the dirt in front of her.
"How was training?" Noah's mask was still in place, forever emotionless, but it didn't bother her right then because there was warmth in his voice that told her we're okay.
"It was good. I uh, got ahold of some of my powers. Look!" Suddenly giddy again with the thrill of having control of her powers, Andorra eyed a stone that lined the walkway, and with her mind, she tossed it into the air.
It was seemingly effortless to her now. It took very little concentration to move that stone with her mind, and she wondered how it had been so hard moments before she had returned to the palace.
By the time it landed back on the ground, she was grinning with excitement and pride at something that was so little, but meant so much to her.
When she looked back at Noah, his face offered nothing. He looked as though he were watching a child do something as simple as breathing, and he reacted as so. She felt the disappointment in the pit of her stomach, but she pushed it away almost immediately. She didn't want him to ruin this for her, so she turned from his rigid body, focusing on her excitement. "I'm going to go find Oberon so I can show him!"
It wasn't to spite him, but when he grabbed her, one look at his face told Andorra that he felt that way. There was a tightness in his expression that gave him away.
"What? What's wrong? Did something happen while I was training?"
It was a fair question, especially with the way he was reacting to her. His mouth finally pulled into a frown and he let out a sigh through his nose. "No, nothing happened."
"Okay, well..." she trailed off, looking towards the door. The awkwardness between them was insufferable now, and she hated that he was doing this to them. Pushing her away. "I do want to show Oberon. I want to see his expression when I lift him off the ground!" Excitement laced through her voice at the thought alone, and she grinned at the image of him looking shocked, and then delighted for her. Oberon would give her the reaction and attention she craved, even if she craved it from Noah instead. But, Noah wasn't giving her anything, wasn't even showing her how proud he could have been for her. You won't like the person I am in the Palace, he had once told her, but she refused to believe he was still acting this way because he had to.
"If I hadn't intercepted you coming into the Palace, would you have come to find me? To... show me?" There was something akin to jealousy in his voice, some sort of weakness, but Andorra pretended not to hear the way his voice hesitated and sounded more meek than usual.
"To show you my powers? I thought you didn't want me seeking you out at the palace. I thought... I thought we had to stay away from each other."
Noah straightened, letting her go, as if she'd burned him. "You're right. We do. My apologies."
Apologies? Andorra hated the way he sounded so formal. "Noah, wait. That's your rule, not mine. Of course I want to show you. I thought I made it very clear earlier my feelings for you. At how I wish you were the one training me and answering my questions and teaching me about everything. I want it to be you, but you said... you said we can't be together. So what am I supposed to do?"
Noah looked at her for a moment, and she feared the worst. That he was regretting the kiss already, that he was regretting telling her his feelings, that he was pulling back again. She reached for him, ignoring the way he stiffened, because she couldn't let him walk back inside. She knew if he did, they'd never talk again.
He rubbed the back of his neck, his face melted into one of embarrassment. "You're right, I'm sorry. I just," he closed his eyes and blew out a sigh, "I just get jealous, okay? Not an excuse for why I said what I said but... I just hate that you look so excited to talk with Oberon."
"Well, my god Noah. I just showed you and you ignored it! At least Oberon will be happy for me!"
He took both of her hands in his. "I am happy for you! I just... I know this will be hard the longer we drag it out. When we finally get into Anlithamy... it'll be Hell for both of us if we keep doing this."
"Doing what, Noah? We kissed once. We aren't doing anything - you keep pulling away. And it's giving me whiplash, honestly. I mean, we come here and I know nobody, and you decide to avoid me at all costs! And then you tell me we can't do this? Do what!"
Noah was pulling her in all sorts of directions, and she hated it. She hated the way she wished they could be together publicly. She hated the way he seemed to pull from her, as though it even mattered. He didn't want to go against his parents, but Andorra didn't even have parents to go against, and it was thanks to him. Thanks to him that she was even there.
"You saw how I feel about you, Andy. But that isn't who I have to be for Anlithamy. One day, I'll be living in the Winter Court, and you'll be with your Prince up in the Royal Court, and we'll be living separate lives. As much as it kills me to admit that, it's true."
She pulled out of his grip. Tears pricked at the corner of her eyes, but she hated how cowardly he was. "Then fight for me! Fight for me like I want to fight for you! I don't want anything to do with that stupid Prince, and I don't care about your parents and what they think of me. I care about you!"
"Andy, c'mon. You know why I can't."
"No, I don't. I know why you won't, and that's all that matters. What's the worst that'll happen, Noah? Your mom and dad don't like it so they ground you? Your mom and dad don't like it, so they kick me out? Let them! Let them kick me out and I won't take any of you with me!"
"It isn't that simple, Andorra. I could be killed for pursuing you."
Andorra was crying now, and she wiped at her tears angrily. They felt hot, burning down her cheeks, and she was so angry she felt like she could burn everything in her path, all of her obstacles.
"I want to be with you." Her voice broke as she said this, as she turned from him. "I want to be with you so badly, and I know you want it too. Fuck these obstacles, and fuck whatever is holding you back. But I'm going to fight for you, Noah. I'll fight for you in Anlithamy, even if you don't want me to. And now, I'm going to find Oberon, because at least he doesn't care who sees us in public." It was a low blow, but she was so upset at Noah that she couldn't help it. Just seeing the rage on his face was worth it, and she hated that she felt triumph in that. Hated that it had become like this in the first place.
She moved past him, and he let her go into the Palace. He let her close the door on him, and while it pained her to do so, she did it. And even though she leaned on the door and let the tears slip down her cheeks, she didn't regret it. She was truthful when she told him she'd fight for him, but it hurt that he wouldn't do the same for her.
She was in too deep, now. She was in too deep the first time she met Noah, but now she was drowning with no hope of survival. Noah was it for her, and she could feel it so deep inside of her, it terrified her.
* * *
THE SEQUEL IS ALMOST HERE!
Go check it out on my page and leave a vote on the prologue! I'll be picking a random voter to dedicate my first chapter to!
GOLDEN will be released January 1, 2021
See you soon ;)