Hindi ako makatulog.
At hanggang ngayon, hindi pa rin talaga ako makatulog dahil sa kaka-isip at kaka-basa sa message nya. It's almost 1 a.m and it's been 4 hours since Juan last messaged me. I didn't even reply to him!
Sa sobrang kilig na kilig ako, hindi ko na siya nareplyan. Hindi ko rin din naman kasi alam kung anong sasabihin ko sa kanya. All I feel right now, is my heart's still overwhelmed.
Like, who wouldn't naman diba? Yung taong hinahangaan mo nung una ay magiging malapit na sayo, establishing this more than friends label. This is like every fangirl's dream! Everyone's favorite type of love story. Yung tipong matagal mo na syang hinahangaan tapos when you guys met, nahulog siya sa'yo na akala mo sa movies at books lang nangyayari.
Sa dinami-daming humahanga sa kanya, God chooses me to give me this moment na hindi ko inimagine, na magkakaroon pala 'ko.
Mapapasabi ka na lang na, "Tangina. Ang swerte ko naman sobra"
I turned on my phone for the millionth time para basahin naman muli yung messages ni Juan sakin. I got multiple messages from him when I didn't reply to him. I also got several calls galing sa kanya in which I didn't answer.
Text Message
Juan GDL
Yesterday 9:12 pm
alam mo ba we always see
each other everyday kaya. aren't u
tired seeing my face araw2?? 😂
no.
you know, ure one of the reas-
ons na why i always keep look-
ing forward for tomorrows. i
don't know Eva pero just seeing u,
makes my day complete. nawawa-
la yung pagod ko, worries, problems
whenever i see u or just hear ur voice.
i've never felt something like this
before Eva until u came.
Eva?
are you asleep? fck oo nga naman
how will u reply if u are.
but if you're not. please talk to me
naman. I didn't mean to scare u off
with my sudden confession.
i just gave u the reason why i won't
get tired seeing u. and if only i
knew this would happen pala, i
just wished i didn't say it.
please please baka i would loose u
just because of this. i don't want it to
happen Eva.
i'm so worried right now.
While I was reading Juan's messages to me, ang sama-sama ko dahil hindi talaga ako nagreply sa kanya. I let him sleep feeling worried when supposed to be he should be happy right now after last night. I'm so mean talaga kaya I decided to reply na sa kanya para when he wakes up, he'll start off his day good. He doesn't have to worry na.
Juan GDL
Today 12:46 AM
Hey Juan, I'm so sorry for not
replying and not answering ur
calls. I'm sorry for making u
worried too ☹️. Honestly, i didn't
reply kasi i don't know what to
reply din naman kasi. Hindi mo
naman ako ginulat, I just don't
know kung anong irereply ko
sayo. I feel so overwhelmed and
kilig kaya ganun. Please don't
think of the opposite. You won't
lose me naman. Don't worry. ❤️
I turned off my phone pagkatapos kong sinend yun sa kanya at naisipan kong matulog na rin because may class pa tomorrow, I mean later. I'm also glad that tomorrow's thursday kasi sa 11am pa naman class ko, so I have enough time to sleep.
Just as I was going to close my eyes, tumunog ang phone ko. Kaya, I grabbed it from my bedside table at tinignan kung ano meron.
I got surprised when I saw a text from Juan.
Text Message Notification
Juan GDL - Eva, please don't sleep yet. I'm outside your house •6s
Dumilat ang mga mata ko upon reading his message kaya I immediately tap his message tapos I also tap his name, para matawagan siya. After a ring, I heard Juan picked it up.
"Huy, nasa labas ka?" I asked him right after he answered kagad. Ba't ba siya nasa labas?
"Yes, I am. Can you go out?" He whispers in a husky voice that made him sounds na kakagising niya lang. Don't tell me, he slept inside his car and been waiting outside of our house? Oh God.
"Okay. I'll be down in a minute" Inend ko ang tawag and I quickly get up from my bed para pumunta sa closet to get a hoodie. Isinuot ko iyon and lumabas ng kwarto.
When I walked out, lahat ng main lights namin dito sa bahay we're off except nung chandelier namin sa living room na ngayon yellow-dim na yung ilaw for overnight purposes, para naman may konti pa ring ilaw and nakikita pa namin yung dinadaanan namin.
Dahan-dahan akong bumaba sa stairs since my parents are already home and so they wouldn't wake up. Or else, patay talaga ako nito. This is my first time that I'm going to go out at passed midnight just because of a guy. Usually kasi, in times like this, it's all about academic thing yung reason ba't ako lumalabas ng bahay sa madaling araw. And this one is different.
I reached at the end of the stair tapos I walked to the main door and carefully and quietly kong inunlock yung mga lock ng pinto namin.
Once I finished unlocking it, lumabas na'ko and also closed the door back din baka mamaya, may bababa tapos mapapansin na nakabukas yung pinto. Tumungo na'ko sa gate namin and again, tahimik ko rin binuksan yung gate trying not to make loud sounds.
Damn, I feel like a bad girl.
Nabuksan ko na yung gate and also closed it too. Hinanap ko ang sasakyan ni Juan, and I saw his car sa unahan, nakapark. Just next to our house. So lumapit ako doon and I knocked the front seat's window.
I heard it unlock kaya binuksan ko na yung pinto and hopped inside.
"Hey"
"Hey, why are you here? It's almost 1 a.m na Juan and we still have classes tomorrow" Sabi ko sa kanya when I get in.
"I was here pa kanina Eva. And talaga bang you don't feel bad at me?...on what I said?" He asks as he stares at me. "I'm still worried pa rin kasi"
Hinawakan ko naman yung mukha ni Juan and shook my head. "Hindi nga. And why would I too? The reason nga kasi why I didn't reply and answer your calls, it's because I don't really know what to say. I did not really expect it. You just caught me off guard Juan"
"... my heart is so overjoyed kaya ganun. So, I'm really sorry if you felt the opposite. I'm sorry kung nag-worry ka" I added while giving him a sad smile.
And then Juan enveloped me in a hug.
"Thank God. I was thinking pa kanina na baka lalayo ka na sakin because of this. I thought I would start to loose you. Hindi pwede yon Eva. I still have many things to do that I love and want to share with you. Plus, I'm gonna make ligaw to you pa" Dinig ko sa kanya as he was hugging me.
"Baliw! Ang OA mo" I laugh and binatukan siya nang mahina.
Juan and I separate tapos he looked at me intently. It's kind of dark inside pero the lamp posts outside serves as our little light here. It was directly lighting at Juan and shit ha, ba't ba ang gwapo ng lalakeng nasa harapan ko ngayon?! Ba't ang super gwapo niya talaga?! Ang sarap i-kiss! Charot!
Every second, every millisecond, I just appreciate how hot this man is. He could pass on a Gods and Goddesses role sa Greek Myth, I'm sure.
"You're so beautiful" He mutters habang nakatingin pa rin siya sa akin like he was sort of, memorizing every inch and part of my face.
Pinapamulahan naman ang mukha ko dahil sa pinagsasabi niya kaya I rolled my eyes. It's one of my mechanisms para hindi halata na kinikilig ako.
"Tumigil ka nga" Sambit ko sa kanya and I avoided his gaze at tumingin sa tahimik na street sa labas. It was only the two of us. Inside his car. At 1 a.m.
"Will you spare me a little of your time right now?" Tanong ni Juan sakin that made me looked at him. "Why? For what?"
"Let's go grab an ice cream"
"At 1 a.m?"
"Yeah, why not? It's nice to eat ice cream at midnights, you know..... so please? It'll be just quick. I promise to take you home immediately naman"
I sigh. "Okay, fine. But I don't want ice cream. It's cold kaya. Gusto ko kumain ng mainit na Batchoy. I'm craving for it kanina when I ran to a random post of it sa Twitter"
"Is there a 24/7 Batchoy here?" He asks and nagkibitbalikat ako. "I don't know"
"Wait, I'm gonna tweet and ask my followers if they know a 24/7 place na may Batchoy" Aniya and he went to his phone. And that reminds me of my phone too na I left it pala sa room ko. I forgot to bring it with me. Hay.
I leaned my head on the window while waiting for Juan and seconds later, I heard him speaks.
"Hey, I found one. Sa Ted's Old Timer La Paz Batchoy" Sabi niya as he puts down his phone and pinaandar na niya ang sasakyan.
"Great, let's go na. Para, we'll be early to go home. You make libre to me ha.... I didn't bring anything" I told him
"Kiss muna" I heard him says habang pinapaandar niya lang yung sasakyan, not stepping on the pedal pa.
"Nevermind. Bababa na lang ako" I huff and tried to open the door. Kiss daw sabi niya?! Nako. Pwede sana, kaso hindi tayo magjowa e.
Juan then held my arm, stopping me. "I was just joking lang naman e. Of course, I'll make libre sa'yo" Sabi niya while chuckling.
Juan finally pressed the pedal as we head off to Ted's Old Timer La Paz Batchoy na sabi niya na hindi raw malayo.
"Can you play music?" He asks as he looked at me then back to the road.
"Pa'no ba?" Tanong ko sa kanya. "I didn't bring my phone with me"
"Connect it to my phone please" Aniya and he handed me his phone. I turned on his phone and nagulat naman ako nang bumungad sakin yung picture ko as his lock screen.
"Bakit mo 'to nilockscreen? I looked ugly" Nguso ko sa kanya showing him his phone's lock screen. Eto yung picture na, na sama ko sa pag airdrop sa kanya nung una. I was pulling a wacky face and I really looked ugly in here.
Ano na lang sasabihin ng tao if pagmay gumalaw o humiram sa phone ni Juan at etong mukha na double chin at crossed eyes yung bubungad sa tao. Ang pangit-pangit ko.
"You looked cute naman. You're still beautiful even if naka-wacky ka pa" Sabi niya nang tinignan niya yung picture.
Inirapan ko sya and decided to just let it go. Alam ko namang hindi nya papalitan no matter what I say.
"You put in your passcode" Sabi ko as I handed him back his phone kasi may pass yung phone niya.
"You type in nalang. It's 112518" So I put in his password and it gave me the access na. Tsaka nakita ko na naman yung sarili ko as his home screen. This time, kasama siya and this picture was taken nung may game nila versus Adamson. Yung may photographer na nagpicture sa'min.
We looked cute here, I'd say.
I went to Apple Music and humanap ako ng LANY song since I've been loving Paul Klein's songs lately. It just give me good vibes whenever I play his songs. Juan's music here are mostly composed of Hip-Hop and RnB kaya I doubt I will find a LANY song. Habang nags-scroll ako looking for it, napa-stop ako bigla nang mahagip sa mata ko ang pangalang December Avenue.
"You listen to December Avenue's songs pala?" I asked him in a surprised tone. Kasi, I also like December Avenue's songs. Tagos sa puso yung mga kanta nila. Yung parang single ka naman, pero feeling mo heart broken ka. Hahaha.
"Oo naman, of course. Their songs are really great" Juan says with enthusiasm.
I tap on a December Avenue song, entitled Kung Di Rin Lang Ikaw. The song then started pagkatapos kong tinap.
"Kung hindi rin lang ikaw ang dahilan pipilitin ba ang puso kung hindi na masaktan.
Kung hindi ikaw, ay hindi na lang pipilitin bang umasa para sating dalawa.
Giniginaw at hindi makagalaw, nahihirapan ang puso pinipilit ay ikaw"
December Avenue's song filled inside the car. Walang umiimik sa'min ni Juan and we were just listening quietly as the song plays in the background.
"Kung 'di rin tayo sa huli, aawatin sarili na umibig pang muli.
Kung di rin tayo sa huli, aawatin bang puso ko, ibigin ka"
Instrumental then came on tapos I heard Juan speaks.
"You know Eva, if there's one song that I would dedicate to you, this would be the song. Na I'd rather not fall in love if it's not you"