1:
Santa: SAY HO HO HO!
Sayori: Monika, Monika, Monika!
2:
Sayori: Come one, I wasn't THAT drunk!
MC: You tried to color my face with a highlighter because you said I was important-
Sayori, with tears in her eyes: You are!
3:
*Texting*
Sayori: ):
Monika: Turn that frown upside down!
Sayori: :(
Monika: Listen here you little shit-
4:
Sayori: Oh, Hey MC!
MC: Oh, hey MC.
Sayori: Hehe, Stop copying me~
MC: Stop copying me.
Sayori: I L o v e y o u
MC: You'll always be my dearest friend
5:
Natsuki: *Gets a paper cut*
Natsuki: Son of a-
Monika: Natsuki! There are children here!
Monika: *Gestures to Sayori*
Natsuki: *Annoyed* Biscuit, son of a biscuit-
Monika: *Proud* Nice save!
Natsuki: Yeah, fucking nailed it.
6:
Yuri: I'm mentally unstable
Sayori: I'm mentally unstable
Natsuki: I'm mentally unstable
Monika:
7:
Natsuki: Telling someone "You are shit" and "You ain't shit" are both insults.
Yuri: "You are not shit" is a reassurance. "You are not the shit" is an insult.
Sayori: "You are the shit" is a compliment.
Monika: Girls, it's 3am.
8:
The F Word
Teacher: Alright, tell me, what is 5 x 2? Come on, there are no such thing as stupid answers.
Student: 12?
Teacher: Alright, now I want to hear from someone who isn't a complete retard.
Yuri: I think I know the answer!
Natsuki: Meh, meh, meh, meh, meh!
Yuri: Shut your mouth, trapgirl!
Natsuki: Don't call me trapgirl, you fucking emo!
Teacher: Natsuki, did you just say the "F" word!?
Natsuki: Emo?
Yuri: No, he's talking about "fuck!" You can't say "fuck" at school.
Teacher: Yuri!
Natsuki: Why the fuck not?
Teacher: Natsuki!
Monika: Dude, you said "fuck" again!
Teacher: Monika!
Sayori: Fuck-
Teacher: Sayori!
Natsuki: What's the big deal, anyway? It doesn't hurt anyone! Fuck, fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck!
Teacher: How would you like to go to the principal's office?!
Natsuki: How would you like to kiss my ass?!
Everyone: *Gasps*
Teacher: WHAT DID YOU SAY!?
Natsuki: What I said was *Grabs megaphone* HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO KISS MY ASS!?!
Yuri: Holy Shit dude-
9:
Monika: I'm proud to identify as a moronsexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight.
MC: What kind of animal is the Pink Panther?
Monika, already taking her clothes off: MC, you're so fucking stupid.
10:
*Sayroi is humming the Doki Doki Literature Club theme while contently plays the game*
Monika: Oh hey. Is that a new game?
Sayori: Yep. Got it for free on steam.
Monika: Neat. Looks like fun.*Monika watches Sayori play the game a little bit*
Monika: Actually come to think of it, that looks increasingly familiar.
Sayori: Right?! It's like they watched our lives and put it in a visual novel! Although, I do have some complaints about it. Like a club full of cute girls and not *one* guy? How unrealistic is that?
Monika: I guess very unrealistic. *laughs nervously* But still a good game right?
Sayori: Oh yeah! I love the characters here. I mean, while I do relate to this girl with the bow, Sayori a lot, I would have to say Natsuki is best girl.
Natsuki: Oh please! Everyone knows Yuri is best girl! She has the best tits, like huge! And she has nice long purple hair, and she likes knives! How cool is that?!
Yuri: I don't know, She comes off as a little too... intense. The cutting herself just reeks of edge, not to forget the whole thing with the pen and the staring? it's just... creepy. Besides, how can anyone's breasts grow a size as soon as the main character comes in? Sounds like something from a bad anime.
Monkia: O...kay? And who's the brunette girl? The one with the green eyes. Something about her seems... off, and very familiar.
Sayori: Oh yeah, that's Monkia. Who here has played more than once?
Yuri: I did, it's a good game.
Natsuki: Yo!
Monika: Well, I've haven't played it yet so...
Natsuki: Then obviously we can't tell you! *Whispers in Monika's ear* Because of spoilers.
Monika: Well, if that's the case. I am curious to see what Monika is like in this cute looking game. I'll play it tonight.
Spongebob Narrator: A few hours later...
Monika: Oh God, Sayori! I am so, so, sorry! I can't believe I would just bully you like that! I mean, the way you were hanging, it was awful! I played that bit so many times just to change it, but nothing worked! It's all terrible and I'm so sorry! *Bursts out crying*
Yuri: What's wrong with MonikaAAAA-!
*Monika tackle hugs Yuri and she falls backwards*
Monika: I should have known about your knife thing, Yuri! I'm so sorry!
Sayori: She apologized to me, for the full weekend, nonstop. I don't know if I should be annoyed, impressed or tired.
*Just then Natsuki walks into the classroom*
Natsuki: Ow. My neck feels a little stiff, I must have slept funny or something.
*Monika then goes completely white and runs out of the classroom*
Natsuki: Huh. What made her glitch out so much?
Bonus:
Natsuki: I'm so fucking pissed off. I just realized they're called pancakes because they're cakes you make in a frying pan. Fuck English.
Yuri: Waterfall.
Natsuki: Oh my fucking god I'm furious
Extra Bonus:
Yuri: The gingers are more powerful on Halloween.
Natsuki: Please stop doing crack-