April, 2018
"Are you sure you want that, Lacey?" Oliver asked for the millionth time and I turned, nodding my head with a sigh. "Three pending A-listers are waiting for your masterpiece, do you really wanna leave with that large of a chance of--getting at the top of the chain?"
I tucked in my boots and turned, looking at him with the most grateful smile I could pull up. "I didn't... intend to be at the top of the chain, Oliver. I knew I wanted a better life, something I could offer the world other than music. But--I can't do it. I can't do anything without my band." Thinking about leaving for more second had made my stomach turn upside down. I knew I needed to leave, but then? I only thought about myself and the short time of relief it could offer me. I never thought about losing more than Luke, I could never lose three of my other best friend who was there for me, and believed in me.
"Lacey, come on. I could offer you a raise!" Going back is what I need, not anything else.
"No offer could ever change my mind, Oliver. Thank you so much for giving me the pleasure of working for different celebrities, but I gotta go home." Home, sounds good hearing that from my mouth once again. "I gotta go."
"Stop hogging Lacey, Oliver! I want to say goodbye, too!" Kira, who the only one had the guts to do and say that to Oliver (because they're exclusively dating) shoved him away from me and attack me with a hug, tighter than I expected it almost caused me to struggle to breathe. "I'm really gonna miss you." The only really good friend I've managed to have, and a girl at that. I'm proud of myself, but sorely sad that I had to leave her.
"I'm gonna miss you, too. I promise I'll visit whenever I can." A promise I intend to keep. But thinking of telling the boys I finally made a friend, and a girl, again? I won't hear the end of it.
"And reconsider the offer!" Oliver tried to push as he stood behind, Kira giving him a once over before he raised both his hands and turned his back. I laugh at how he just seemed to cower down when it comes to Kira, but then again, technically? He's our boss.
"I'm so proud of what you're gonna do, Lace." I shrugged.
"Not yet. I haven't done it yet." Not that I'm having second thoughts but then again, would I have the courage to face them as soon as I go home?
"But I trust you will." She tugged both my shoulders into another hug, this time much gentle and I savored it before hearing that the plan is gonna take off, and I'm finally... finally heading home. "Don't forget, Lacey. Family first."
"Family first."
The minute I landed Australia, I hailed a cab to go home. Home to where I used to tell the boys why they haven't left the comfort of my small studio type room and stayed at their living room twice the size of the room I had. I just had to say it because they never really tidy up on their own, but having them there felt complete. Without any of their things scattered around? It felt empty.
I managed to hoists myself out of the cab before I reach unthinkable sum of money for staying there for so long just because I'm having cold feet. I stared down at the doorstep of my apartment yet can't fully pull my shit together in going back. The excitement died down and the dreading fact of whether they'll accept me or not is continuing to creep up on my back.
"One more minute of gawking won't open the door for you, Lacey." I immediately turned and saw Calum walking towards the building. I was ready to say something but got tongue tied for some reason--and only saw him carry my suitcase right after snatching it out of my hands. "It's freezing, Lacey." He had his white bonnet on, a glass right at his eyes and his outfit... Everything about it shouts that they're already back in business.
No more fun nights at the pub with them getting barely recognized from looking like they haven't showered for ages. They're now... out and about again. Famous than ever. "I-I'm coming." I adjusted the duffel bag around my shoulders and followed him in, looking at one of my best friend and seeing him change entirely. I wasn't here for the process so I knew nothing... but a question lingers.
How did he know I'm gonna be home?
My phone vibrated when we reached the elevator and right then, it was a message from Kira.
Gave you a jumpstart. I know you'll be having cold feet. Always got ya, love!
I groaned internally, following Calum inside the elevator and almost hearing the loud thumping of my chest amidst the annoying elevator music. He never spoke a word while we're inside, never spoke a word when he unlocked my own apartment for me, and had never spoke a word when I took a seat by the counter while he cooks something for breakfast. No bonnet, no glasses, and no fancy clothes. The same curly haired idiot I've grown with over the years.
"Cal--"
"Breakfast before anything." I pursed my lip and nod, learning to adjust by their preference and coldness, knowing this will be bound to happen to all of them. They're gonna treat me like I betrayed them the same, because of what I did. I fully... understand that even if it hurts like shit.
Calum laid both plates and sat across of me, devouring the meal he did while I slowly ate mine. I didn't know if I have the appetite to eat something when my own best friend didn't even want to hear my voice and I know that it's all my fault. "I can't do this, Cal." I laid the fork down in frustration and covered my face with my hands, voiding myself of seeing the disappointment in his face, and the tears ready to fall from my eyes. "When you came to me, it helped me realized something. That's why I got back, that's why I'm here. And I'm sorry! I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for not telling you guys what happened and I'm sorry for ever hurting you."
A figure enveloped me in his strong hands and brush my back gently, hearing his shushing mellow voice and smelling the same damn perfume of when I left. "Lacey." He breathed out while I cry my heart out, if I'm going to be honest, this is a start.
"I made a mistake of leaving and not considering what my other three best friends would feel. I felt so hurt, so... betrayed that it kept happening. I got so blinded by the mere fact of getting hurt that I didn't notice, I was hurting someone else too. I was hurting my best friends by not trusting them enough to tell them how I feel, or to trust them enough to help me." I bit my lip as Calum brushed my tears, the tears that won't stop falling no matter what I do. "I didn't want all of you to pick sides, Cal. I left because I knew you needed Luke more than you need me."
"But we're never complete of having one without the other." I hastily turned and saw Mikey and Ashton, leaning by the door while I realized they have been there for a while now and had heard everything I had to say without even noticing they're there.
"I just... I'm sorry. I don't want to drag more explanation because what I did was wrong. I just didn't know it at the time." I brushed my hair away and look back and forth towards my three best friends. "I miss you, and I shouldn't have left."
It seemed to have been the magic word when three men squeeze me into a hug, limiting me of the air I need while they tell me things everything at once and not understanding a thing as I was too squeezed on Ashton's surprisingly broad chest. "Alright, alright. Let me breathe." The three pulled away and it felt like something had been lifted off of my chest, something heavy fell and I could get back up now. Only one more step left to do.
"We missed you, too, Lace. And never for a second think that we needed the one more than the other. We're all halves of what we built, and we would never be fully complete without being the five seconds of summer that we really are." I pulled into Ashton's and gave my dad-figure a hug. Someone who I really value what comes out of his mouth. "Mikey missed you terribly." He whispered and I turned to Mikey who's fixing his cap as he sports a new blonde hair do.
I pulled away and turned to him as he looks down, giving me a brief glance before going back to what he's doing. "Mikey? I'm really sorry if you ever took burrito and no one to gag with for the past months--but... I'm here now? I could gag with you again." He pursed his lip and rolled his eyes, eventually giving in as he pulled me into a hug, the bear hug I really missed so damn bad.
"You promise to gag with me and never leave again?" He murmured and I chuckled,
"I promise." I immediately heard the television opening and it was like the old times when Ashton and Calum sat by the sofa, their feet by the coffee table--and Mikey realizing he shouldn't miss the same scene when he stormed off to sit right beside Ash, leaving me at the kitchen while my hands are over my waist. I made my way to where they are, keeping my mum to myself as I knew they just recently let me off the hook, but sat right beside Calum and gave him a look.
"Okay, what is it now?" His voice dragged and I rolled my eyes.
"What did I say about boarding on my apartment?" His brows raised and smiled cheekily.
"Really now? Your apartment? I payed the last rent so technically it's mine, Lacey. That's how rent works." He says as he proudly stacks his feet on the glass table and even with his shoes on.
"Oh, really now?" He nods, his other hand going around my shoulders right after snuggly setting himself on the sofa. "Well, cleaning and keeping up with everyday task for the house is also how renting works. So, I guess?" I grabbed the bag of chips of Ashton's hands as the three of them watches me dunk my whole hands on the bag, grab a handful and stack it all in my mouth, letting crumbs fall on the floor. "You have to clean that up until the end of the month you payed." I shrugged, dusting my palms on the coffee table and giving a quick peck on the cheek as he sat there, shock written on his face as the two laughs at him hysterically.
I made my way back to the kitchen to wash my hands even if I internally cringe to the fact that I just did that--at my own apartment, but knew I had to teach Calum some house lessons he didn't have to do for getting someone to take care of his own house. I laugh to myself, but not before a knock on the door paused my thoughts. "I'll get it." I muttered, a napkin on my hand as I wiped the water off and as soon as I opened the door, my heart literally... fell out of my chest.
"You're back."