A full week has passed after the night I became too soft and too foolish. Like a lovesick teenager, alone in a house with the love of her life she so wanted to hate, an awaiting tragedy.
I stayed away from him for as long and as far as I can. The band noticing once again the growing tension, building up day by day until they had to forcefully cancel the meetup on Friday just so we could all take a break from it. From my endless quips about the vocalist, and him getting irritated all of a sudden.
"You should really do your grocery, Lace. There's like, literally no food here." Calum says, breaking my train of thought as he rummaged through the fridge and cabinets, finding nothing but forgotten packet of biscuits and jugs of water. A lot of them. He does that while he wears his favorite band shirt, a pair of black jeans and his favorite sneakers. Absolutely looking ready for where we're going, and what's about to happen.
I was still sitting patiently on my living room, wearing nothing but a simple summer dress paired with a jacket. Obviously not ready for the day—and reluctant to leave my sofa for the reason that I didn't want to go, nor would I want to relieve memories I plan to bury down under. Being in the same place with him felt so suffocating—it's as if the walls are closing between us and there's no other escape than to face the oblivion. He felt like that for so long I wonder how I'm still here. Not for long, though. "Where are the others?" I asked, staring blankly ahead as I still hear Calum rummaging on the cabinets like a hungry child.
"Well, Ash won't be able to come since he got some important events to attend to, and Mikey can't because it's also Crys' sister's birthday. So, you're stuck with me, little one." He sat right beside me, an arm rounding around my shoulder while he raises both his brow up and down repeatedly.
"Little one my ass. Come on, let's get this over with." Calum beat me into carrying my purse and also, used his own spare key to do the honors of locking my door. He even went as far as also bringing one of his least expensive cars to drive me, and to see to it that I won't be having to hitch a ride with someone I hate tonight if I get a hard time booking for one. I'm amused of how Calum thought this out—not just because it's for me, but because I know it's for their own fear it'll cause too much damage that the band won't be able to get back up to. The fear of ruining the foundation we worked hard to build, just because of a past that keeps biting us in the ass.
The half hour ride towards the Hemmings' residence was silent. Only The Smiths playing on the background as Calum drove with ease, causing me to droop for a bit before realizing that I was going in the same place I didn't know I would still be in after a long year of disappearing into view. The thought surely kept me up and at it while on the road. "You'll be fine, Lacey." Calum spoke as I looked at my reflection on the mirror ahead, the car parked just beside their house that seemed packed with some of their relatives I got to know and other strangers I was bound to face. Bits of smokes coming at the back from which I'm guessing was the barbecues—and well, the sigh of the three Hemmings brothers, welcoming everyone at their huge and humble home.
"I sure hope you're right, Cal." I breathed out as he went outside the car, going over to the other side and opening the door for me. "You're quite a gentleman today, huh?" I quipped, a smile going over my lips for the first time today.
"Of course." The smile he gave turned mines into a scoff. "Oh, please, Lacey! Ash and I will not make a sound, I promise." I pursed my lip in an attempt to suppress it in but the scowl on my face says it all. Ash and Calum are going to watch another new series I found miraculously downloaded on my flat screen last night, and they thought it was a good idea to watch it at my small apartment rather than indulge themselves into their million dollar houses.
"I should've known!" I rolled my eyes and slam the door shut, with Calum giving me one of his puppy eyes and lips. "That's not gonna work." He clasps his hands together with the same childlike look—and god forbid does it work. It always does. It never fails. "Fine but—" Before I could even set out rules, he squeezed me into a hug which both limited me of the air and the right to breathe.
"I know you love us!" He bemused and I could only muster a small smile as these boys will forever be kids, and that I'm the big sister that cannot stand them, at the same time, won't be able to live without them.
A throat clearing from beside us made Calum pull away, our eyes darting towards another man towering me like Calum does, his hair obviously had been trimmed but still by the length of his jaw, his baby blues beaming like a bright sunny day. His choice of clothes affect how he looked today, a white button down and blue short. Although aside from that little fact, my hatred for him still goes above and beyond. "Hey... Glad you two could make it." Cal and Luke shared a bro hug while we only nod at each other, agreeing silently through it that we should act civilized for the good of everything. "Come in, they're waiting for you." He leads the way while holding a red plastic cup with what smelled like root beer, stopping by the door with two of his brother's ready to welcome guests.
"Oh my god, if it isn't Lacey Bracey!" It took all my might not to laugh and roll my eyes at the same time as both Ben and Jack rounded me into another deathly hug, squeezing the bajessus out of me while calling me repeatedly with the nickname that they had the bright idea of calling me back in the day when I had braces on for two years. The two never moved pass that, obviously.
"Lacey Bracey wishes you a happy birthday, Jacky!" I say as soon as they pulled away, the distinct Hemmings' features I've bound to memorize beamed brightly under the sun. All three brothers having the best genes, thanks to their Mama and Papa Hemmings.
"Thank you, Lace. And I'm really glad you came." He says, a charming smile lacing on his face.
"Luke finally had the balls to get you to come?" Ben asked, and it dawned on me that their whole family knows about our failed friendship. Us three darted towards Calum and Luke, talking about what seemed like a brand new shiny car parked just beside Calum's. I cleared my throat and heave my head away, not knowing if it's best telling them what really happened or leaving it at that.
"Man, I don't think Luke did. Mom did!" Jack interjected and the two looked at me. Another towering figures for my little five foot four height. "You guys getting together now?" I opened my mouth to ask what he meant when a voice butts in.
"How about we go see Mom and Dad? Sounds good?" Luke from behind me bellowed quickly, and before I could even ask what's going on, he pulled me by the hand. I looked behind me and was about to attempt and get Calum but he was stopped by Jack as they started a conversation.
Great. Now I'm left with him, again.
Luke's cold hands gripped mine as we heave our way through the small crowd of their relatives I get to greet. Some gave me a hug, stopping us both from walking, and some were nice enough to greet back and let us be. I didn't know why I was gripping his hand back, may it be for the fear that I'm incredible unsociably inclined and that I may have to participate in a conversation I wouldn't know how to get out of—or that... yeah, no.
We reached the back of the house where their garden's at, the smell of barbecue looming through the air as smaller crowds of Luke's relatives, and plenty of children play around. The figures of Liz and Andy, standing by the wooden tables with a few of their guests. Luke's hand left mine as he signaled for me to wait, and immediately, it didn't take long before I see the two of them going over my direction. "My dear! It's so nice to see you!" Liz greeted me with a motherly hug, not squeezing the shi-t out of me like his sons, nor not letting me live like Calum's. Something warm, something I'd like to stay in for a little while.
"It's so nice to see you, too, Liz. And if course you too, Andy." I say after pulling away, seeing Luke stand by the side behind his parents. "Thank you for inviting me."
"You are part of the family no matter what, Lacey." Andy says, bringing enough warmth into my heart as to seeing the second parental figure I've had ever since leaving home. Makes me want to take a week off and visit my parents back in LA.
Andy was eventually called out by one of his colleagues, leaving me with Liz, and Luke, who's now busy on his phone. "Can we talk, Lace?" Liz asked and I nod as she whispered something to Luke and him leaving without another glance. The place seemed to have given me the air I was holding back as soon as he did, reminding me that I could still make it a good day without him around.
"Is there anything wrong, Liz?" She pulled me towards an empty bench, her hands going over to mine while giving me a warm smile.
"I believe there is, hun. And you know well what it is. I could see it bothering you." Was it really that obvious? The way I look at him? The way I look like whenever he's around? Did I really hate him that much that people could clearly see right through it? "I asked Ashton about how the band's doing, and I'm proud of the progress you've been making but..." she pauses, her eyes looking straight to mine. "Everything's okay aside from Luke's casual disappearance and... and about what happened to you two." They only know the things we let them. The band was the only one who knew what went on between us. We feared that telling others what really happened could ruin us. It's enough that the fans are concluding here and there my sudden disappearance in Luke's social media, we don't need any more. "What really happened between you two?"
"Liz." I attempt to say something but nothing comes out. I'm like a kid, all ran out of reasons to tell just so I could get out of trouble. Like a damn kid that doesn't know what to do when you're being asked an important question. Something that seemed valuable for them to know. "Liz, I'm not the best person to ask about it. Luke and I... we—we shared a friendship like no other. There are things that's going to ruin us and it's sad that we let it." It's sad that I let it. "But whatever it is, we're sure we'll come around. I'm sure the band could withstand whatever it is."
She gave me an encouraging smile—but what followed was a sad one. Something I hadn't anticipated. "Lacey, do you remember on twelfth grade? When both Luke and you went up to the rooftop, and then you went down alone? I saw you waking with your head down. Do you still remember what you told me?" My mind is all hazy with memories and I couldn't find what she's talking about. None of that. "You... told me that Luke has a crush on the new next door neighbor." I almost burst out in embarrassment as she relieved those. The memory strucking me like a goddamn chord as soon as she said those words. "You were so... jealous." She smiled through her words and I cowered down. It looks like I know where this is heading. It's safe to say I'm trapped. "But Luke went down immediately to get you, to ask you to watch a movie and you've forgotten all about it."
"Liz..."
"I see the way you look at him, Lace. I hear the way you talk about him, the way he spoke so highly of you, and the way you are together. Whatever it is that happened, I could assure you one thing."
"What is that?"
"I know my son, Lacey. And sure as hell I know Luke Robert Hemmings is in love with you the way that you do, from the very beginning."