"We'll make today, a good day!"
The first words I heard when Ashton crashed into my sofa and yelled it at the top of his lungs as if it's not six in the morning and I only had three hours of sleep for attempting to create a tune on the piano. Some could say that I'm trying to make the process of creating this fast, but I'm not in the position to deny it. I'm already set on my course of leaving the band and pursuing something—just something away from what kills me every morning I wake up.
"Remind me not to give you spare keys anymore." I yawned while I head straight to the kitchen to make myself a damn coffee. Ashton sat by the counter across from me with a knowing smile written all over his face. "What is it again?"
"I heard there's a new amusement park just two hours away from here, and I really wanted to go." He pouted like a child and he even let his dimples show, but I could only shake my head.
"You do know we have songs to write, right?" I turned and he wailed like an annoying child.
"I wanted to drop by! It seemed really cool and we could stay there all day long." I stopped stirring on my mug when I heard him say those words and I turned, leaning on the counter with a raised brow.
"If this is about Luke and Cassie going over the studio later, I couldn't care less. I'll be there to write and there's no need for you to take me somewhere far just so I could avoid them, Ash." I hit the jackpot with it and saw guilt on Ashton's face, his plan failing altogether. "I appreciate the effort but it's been a year, guys. Luke and I are perfectly okay as whatever it is that we are now." It seemed unknown to me, still, but whatever we have now? That's it. That's all we'll ever have and I have no intentions whatsoever of hoping for something more.
He already hurt me once, who's to say he's not gonna do it again?
To make amends with trying to steer me away from the awaiting couple, Ashton decided to drive me to the studio and even go beyond ordering three quesadillas on the way. He says it's only strictly for Lacey Davis and anyone who attempts a taste would get it from him.
"You don't have to be at the studio, Lace." He tried, one last time but I'm too into my courage and I wanted to prove to myself that I'm not the Lacey that I used to be. No more weak for shit Lacey. She's a strong girl, and she never backs down. Besides, it's not like Cassie would try and talk to me. She's too humiliated for betraying her best friend to do so.
"I'm part of the band, Ash. We're all in this together." Not in the near future though.
He lazily drapes his hands around my shoulders while we walk through the lobby, waving at the receptionist and heading straight to our recording studio where Calum and Mikey are already setting up some instruments. They looked like they've seen a ghost when they saw me biting on a quesadilla with Ash, even going about giving subtle look that I'm able to get on. "Ashton's plan didn't work and knowing all you three, you don't have a back up plan so you're stuck with me." I pointed to myself, hogging the whole couch while enjoying my food. Mikey went over to where I am, getting down on his knees with the look I'm used to seeing.
One where they feel... bad for me. "Are you sure?"
"Mikey my man, I'm born sure." I pinched his cheeks and he taps my arm, giving me the kind smile I always like seeing from Michael.
"That's our girl!" He kissed the top of my head while they set up the guitars, with Ashton sitting by the foot of the sofa and leaning there while trying his best to create beats.
"Hey, I have one, Cal." I called, pulling the notebook from my bag and throwing it at his direction which he's able to catch swiftly. "Those are only piano keys and I didn't know how bass boy does it." He rolled his eyes as he went over to the piano, setting the notebook ahead and reading through it for a while before his hands positioned on the keys and—started playing it.
As the melody played, Ash and Mikey stopped from whatever they're doing and seemed to be taken away by it. I tucked the food away back to the bag and stared at the ceiling, remembering how I managed to create the tunes. I just... had to think about this one boy, and all the words and tunes started pouring away. The words that I have always wanted to tell him, the melody that matches what I feel, and the pain.
"Oh my god, Lacey. I almost cried!" Mikey mumbled while he sat by the speaker, hugging his guitar and the boys looking at me right after Calum finishes the tune I tried creating.
"The lyrics are still not the final draft but I'm getting there." Calum grabbed the notebook and sat at the middle of the couch while I happily hog it, pinching my cheeks lightly with an encouraging smile.
"Bless you, child." He taps my head a few times before I swatted it away while chuckling. "Make that happen, alright?"
"I really loved it!" Mikey blurted out and ran towards my direction, all three boys that stood over six foot and more, hugged me all at once and wrestled me away from the couch-their main goal.
"Assholes!" They laugh while fitting snuggly on the couch, I sent them the flying bird and turned my back. "Be thankful I loved you three."
"We know that so well, love." Ashton says while hugging on Calum's waist.
"Not on the studio, please." I covered my eyes and heard that Cal is resisting on Ashton's grasp while Mikey happily pinched his cheeks. These boys will be the death of me—but I love them to death. I really do. And I might feel bad for leaving, but it's the only solution I found to get away from feeling the breaking and crashing inside my chest.
I could get back—but I wasn't sure myself if I still want to.
I looked over to the dashboard and saw a paper added together in the things we're already done with. I was about to ask when Mikey beats me to it. "Luke left a note that he already has one song done. He's supposed to add that to Sounds Good, Feel Good but said it didn't feel right." I grabbed it from the board and went over to one of the speakers while I read through the lyrics. "You know? The song looks like it's for someone."
"Monster among men?" He nods.
"Read it awhile ago, the song looks like it's about... unintentionally hurting someone." I looked away and pinned it back to the dashboard, grabbing a guitar and shoving the thought at the far back of my brain.
Whatever it is, it didn't matter now. And I'm sure he wouldn't write about someone he didn't even like in the first place. I'm sure he has a lot for Cassie and it'll be pinned on the dashboard in the following days like a lovesick kid. "Good that he already got one." I strummed away while ignoring their knowing glances, my eyes set to the notebook in front of me as I try to clear my head.
A little while of almost eardrum crushing beats from Ashton that I could never get used to, I went out of the studio to grabbed something to drink. I'm trying my best to steer away from Cola, because I haven't been exactly living healthily like Ashton, and it could start to take a toll on me not far from now.
"Lace? Hey!" I turned and saw Oliver, one of the production manager of the record label. It's not always I see him and only ever do when we already finished a whole album to help us prepare for it.
"Hey, Oliver! How are you?" I greeted back, suddenly forgetting about getting a healthier drink as being noticed by people like him would be a great chance to step up from the industry.
"Everything's good, how about you? You're still writing for 5SOS, right?" I nod, giving a small smile. "I'd like to talk to you about that, actually." I frowned.
"Is there something wrong?" He hastily shook his head while leading me to the side of the hallway.
"We know you've been a great and big part of the band for being able to write with the boys. And I went here to offer you a job after their album. It's a one time offer of getting to write at LA with three A-list artist of the year!"
My jaw literally dropped, on the floor, wide open. "W-What? W-Why? Why me?"
"We saw how the boys always ends up getting at the top and we'd like to harness your talent into writing for more artist. Not limited to one, but to more bands! You'll be writing with Halsey, with The 1975!" He looked more excited than me but when I thought about it... it's actually a ticket way out of this place, and it's dangling right in front of my face. "We only needed you to finish the album with the band, fly to LA after the released and start doing drafts with the other artists!"
"Wow." It's honest to say that I'm a bit overwhelmed to get offered by something that arrives once in a lifetime-and I'm not in the position to say no. I didn't want to say no.
"Here's my card, call me after the release and we'll talk about everything! Alright, Lace?"
I nod, out of words to say a this was something bigger than I could ever imagine. "T-Thank you, Oliver. Really." He left after giving me a tap at the shoulder, waving one last time before turning at a corner heading straight outside.
I lean on the hallway with the calling card in my hand, my way out of everything. "Are you leaving, Lacey?" I got startled from the voice and even shriek, turning abruptly to the man who spoke and stopping when my eyes landed on a pair of baby blues.
"What are you saying?" I kept the card on my back pocket as I tried to get pass him, only stopping when his hands pulled my arm. "Don't touch me, Luke." I warned but it didn't seem to faze him at all.
"Are you leaving the band?"
I snorted, "What makes you think I'm leaving?" I gulped, wishing he couldn't smell through my lies. Through my plans that I've been attempting ever since a year ago.
"You could've said no to Oliver."
"I'm being respectful."
"You can't just leave, Lacey." I pulled my arm away from him and tried to look him in the eye with the strength I have left of facing him.
"Don't tell me what to do." I spat, leaving him at the hallway and forgetting all about the healthy drink as I grabbed on to a can of cola right by the stand. Be that as it may, but I'm tired. And I'm sure as hell that band could do it without me—I was only the fifth half, and they're the one doing all the work. Me, leaving, wouldn't ruin anything. If more, it could be a breath of fresh air from them.