Chapter 16 - Dreams Only Last For A Night
Including the pit stops and the time we use to sleep, it takes about three days for us to return to San Diego. We end up driving in our own separate cars, since he has his and now I have mine, but we sleep together at night in our hotel bed. As usual, Vic doesn’t sleep much, but he lets me catch up on my own sleep and doesn’t wake me.
Now it’s around noon, and we have just arrived in San Diego, both of us driving through the city streets and Vic leading me back to his house. Before I know it, we’re both parking outside of it and grabbing our things. Vic pushes the front door open, announcing, “We’re home!”
Mike looks up from the couch, where he’s playing a video game. It’s like he never left his spot since the last time I saw him. I think he’s even wearing the same sweatshirt.
"Kellin’s living with us, too, now?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
Vic rolls his eyes. “Us? Shouldn’t you and your fiancé be at your own house?”
"You have better video games," he states in a matter-of-fact tone of voice, as Tony walks into the room from the kitchen and flips Vic off.
Vic makes a face. “What was that for?”
"You’re out of coffee," Tony explains, sitting down next to Mike.
"That’s not my fault,” Vic says. “Jaime!”
Jaime pops his head out from upstairs. “Yeah?”
"Tony says we’re out of coffee."
"That’s not my fault. You’re the one who shops for groceries. But you left us for the guy with the weird ex-girlfriend, so there are no groceries.”
I raise my hand slowly. “Um, hello? The guy with the weird ex-girlfriend is standing right here.”
Jaime looks at me curiously, and then he seems to notice my fingers intertwined with Vic’s.
"Vic," he says slowly, "can we discuss something? Privately?"
"There’s nothing to discuss,” Vic replies, moving slightly closer to me. “And if you have something to say, you can say it in front of Kellin, too.”
Jaime rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t play this game.”
Vic just stares at him.
"Fine," Jaime says, sighing. "Play that game." Then he turns and walks away, back down the hall.
I turn to Vic. “What’s his problem?”
Vic shrugs sheepishly. “Me, probably. I don’t think he’s jealous. It’s something else.”
Tony must’ve walked back out to the kitchen, because now he walks in from there again, holding a knife this time.
I raise an eyebrow. “Why do you have that?”
"Because." He swings it around the room a few times. "I could cut the tension in here with a knife."
Mike laughs so hard he drops his controller.
"Hey," I say, suddenly remembering something. "Do you guys have MarioKart?"
"Uh, yeah," Mike says, picking the controller back up and continuing his game. "Why?"
I turn to Vic. “Remember that bet we made at Wet’n’Wild?”
Vic laughs a little. “Oh, yeah. How much did we say? Thirty bucks?”
"Mm-hmm."
"This should be interesting."
A few minutes later, Mike gives his controller to me, and Vic grabs another one. We both sit on the couch, with Mike, Tony, and even Jaime gathering around it to watch the showdown.
"What track are we doing, then?"
"Uh…the crown thing." I point at one of the icons, which shows a group of four different tracks. "The master levels."
I don’t remember all that much about this game, but I do remember that the first track is some desert setting, the next is some highway where all the cars drive on the wrong side of the road, the third one is one of Bowser’s castles, and the last one is…
"We are not doing Rainbow Road,” Vic says.
I give him an innocent smile. “Why not, Victor? Are you afraid you’re gonna lose?”
"Rainbow Road was created by Satan."
"Your point?"
"Rainbow Road," Mike chants. "Rainbow Road."
Vic rolls his eyes. “Fine. The master levels it is.”
Twenty minutes later, I’ve got thirty more bucks in my pocket.
—
When the sun is low in the sky, Vic takes me to the beach where we first met. I’ve decided to stay in San Diego for at least another week or so, mainly because I don’t want to let go of Vic just yet. He seemed really happy when I told him that I wasn’t leaving immediately, so I think he’s feeling the same way about me (God knows why).
Now he and I are strolling along the shore, hand in hand, and talking. Surprisingly, there aren’t as many people here as I thought there’d be, so we pretty much just walk a straight line, occasionally kicking our feet in the waves.
When we reach a particularly empty portion of the beach, Vic stops and turns to me. “I got you a little something.”
My face heats up. He got me something? “Um…what is it?” I ask, glancing down at my feet.
He puts a finger under my chin and tilts my head back up. “Hey, don’t be embarrassed. I wanted to do this. Now close your eyes, darling.”
I do as he says, my face growing even warmer. I can faintly hear him pulling something out of his pocket, and then he says, “Okay, you can look now.”
He’s holding up a small object with a circular thing hanging from it. It’s got some weblike string across it, and at the bottom are three feathers. I’ve seen it before, but I can’t remember what it’s called…
"It’s a dream catcher," he explains, as if reading my thoughts. "It’s supposed to, like, ‘catch’ all the bad dreams so you don’t have any. I figured, because, you know…" He shrugs, blushing a little. "I just thought it seemed like a good idea." He glances at it, and everything about that split second looks like a perfect snapshot, with the sun in the right place and everything.
"It’s…wow," I say, smiling in disbelief. "This is…"
"You don’t have to take it if you don’t want it," he adds quickly.
"No!" I say, cursing my natural awkwardness. With no other way to communicate my feelings, I give him a soft peck on the lips. "I love it."
"Really?" He bites his lip. "I…thought you might think it was dumb."
"I don’t," I say, taking it from him. "I really do love it." I glance at the dream catcher as it moves with the breeze. "When did you get this?"
He makes a face. “You sleep a lot.”
I laugh. “No, you just don’t sleep a lot. What else are you doing while I’m asleep? Having sex with a bunch of other guys?”
"Ha, ha. Very funny."
We both laugh then, but when we stop, both of us seem to turn serious. “So,” I say slowly. “What’s gonna happen when I go back?”
He kisses me on my forehead. “I don’t want you to go back.”
"I know," I say. "But that’s where I live. I have to go back."
He gives me a sad smile. “Can’t you just stay here forever?”
I return his expression. “This isn’t a fairy tale, Vic.”
He sighs. “I know.”
"Long-distance relationship, then?" I ask.
Now the smile is a tiny bit brighter. “Well, yeah. I’m not breaking up with you just because distance is a bitch.” He kisses me again, this time on my jawline. “We’ll figure it out. We’ll get through it.”
—
"Party time!" Jaime yells.
We’re all piling into Vic’s car, him in the driver’s seat, me riding shotgun, and Mike, Tony, and Jaime in the back. Apparently, one of their friends is having a party at his house tonight, and they’re bringing me along with them.
"Okay, first things first," Mike says as Vic pulls out of the driveway. "Who’s the designated driver for later?"
"I am," Vic says automatically. Mike gives him a look. We all know he’s not staying sober tonight.
"I’ll do it," Tony offers.
"Thank you, baby," Mike says, kissing him on the cheek. "Taking one for the team."
"Ew," Jaime says, making a disgusted face and leaning away from them. "Do that somewhere else. Being the fifth wheel sucks."
"Oh, yeah, speaking of that," Mike says, looking up at me. "So, Kellin, you and Vic are, like, officially dating now?"
"That’s right," I say as Vic takes my hand.
"When did that all go down?" Tony asks, raising his eyebrows and looking faintly amused.
"We made out under a gazebo, and it all went from there," Vic replies, smirking a little and making it sound like he’s kidding.
"Sounds like fun," Mike comments.
"It was," Vic and I say in unison. We both laugh.
Nobody talks about the incidents with Vic getting drunk. Nobody talks about what Jaime said earlier. Nobody talks about how I have to leave eventually. That all seems to get pushed to the side, as if Vic’s friends (and brother) have given me their blessing. I feel like I’ve been accepted into their group. Tonight, we’re just going to have a little fun.
Some houses are made for parties. Others are not. This guy’s house is definitely made for parties—large, with a lot of space. There’s a bar in the kitchen, where all the food and drinks are, and the furniture in the living room has been cleared away to make a pretty decent dance floor. This place also has a deck out back, along with a swimming pool. I don’t think there are many people upstairs, but that’ll probably change as the night goes on and people get wasted.
"Tonight, we celebrate," Vic tells me, winking. He nods at the swimming pool. "And probably skinny-dip, too."
"Ooh, fun," I reply.
A few hours later, I find myself somewhat intoxicated and feeling really good, though that’s probably mainly the alcohol’s doing. Then again, it also might be the fact that Vic and I have been messing around, dancing, and kissing most of the time.
People have started skinny-dipping in the pool, just like he said they would, and we both decide to join in. Normally, I’d be insecure, but the fact that I’m not sober, along with Vic’s reassurance, has me stripping my clothes off and jumping in with him.
"You’re so prettyyyy,” he says, smiling and splashing me. He’s even more intoxicated than I am.
"No, I’m not," I reply, splashing him back.
"Yes, you are." He moves close to me, poking my nose. "Boop."
"You’re lying," I tell him. "You’re a liar. Stop lying to me."
Without responding, he leans forward and gives me a hot, messy kiss, pushing me against the wall of the pool and pressing his front to mine. I gasp into his mouth.
"Haha," he laughs, pulling away a little. "I turn you on."
"No, you don’t," I reply, splashing him again.
He giggles, resting his hands on my hips. “Yes, I do,” he sings. “Because I’m sexy.”
"That’s a lie."
He makes a face. “What if I gave you an underwater blowjob?”
I laugh loudly. “That’s the worst idea ever. You’ll drown.”
He sticks his tongue out at me. “Fuck you, Kelly Bear.”
I laugh again. “Kelly Bear?”
"Yes." He kisses me again. "Kelly Bear. You’re my Kelly Bear."
"Okay, then I’m your Kelly Bear."
This goes on for a while, until we eventually get out and put our clothes back on. We drink a little bit more, and then, somewhere along the line, he seems to disappear on me, so I end up looking around the house for him.
"Tonyyyyy," I say, drawing out his name.
Tony turns around. “Yeah?”
"Do you know where Vic is?" I ask, poking him.
"No," he says, raising an eyebrow. "Did you check upstairs?"
"But he’s not fucking anybody," I say in a whiny voice.
Tony laughs. “What about out on the deck?”
I nod, giving him a thumbs-up sign. “Good idea. I’ll do that.”
The deck, however, also does not seem to contain my Vic. I push through the mess of people, calling out to him, but I don’t get any response. Fuck, where could he have gone?
I run back to Tony, who tells me to check the basement. I nearly fall down the stairs, but nobody seems to notice, so I just search the way I’ve been doing. This basement is nice, with a couch, a TV, and a pool table, among other things. A bunch of people are hanging out down here, but I don’t see Vic anywhere.
Just as I’m about to turn around and head back upstairs, I hear what sounds like his voice. At first I think I’m just imagining things, but then I hear it again, a bit louder. He’s not really saying anything specific; he’s just…making noises, like he’s either in pain or turned on.
I turn in the direction of the sound, a dark corner partially shielded by a group of people standing not too far away from it. Behind those people, though, I see Vic up against a wall, looking so drunk that he can’t even stand up without some support.
That’s the first thing I notice. The second thing I notice is that someone is kissing him.
Craig is kissing him.
Everything feels like it’s falling apart. This can’t be happening. It can’t be.
"Vic," I choke out.
Vic pulls away abruptly at the sound of my voice, blinking a few times before his eyes widen. “Oh my God, Kellin!” His words are slurred.
I want to confront him, but my mouth can’t come up with any words, so I just duck my head and run upstairs, trying to ignore the feeling in my chest.
"Kellin!" Vic repeats, but I don’t stop. I just push through the living room, making my way to the front door, when someone grabs my shoulder. Tony.
"Kellin, what’s going on?" he asks, seeming to sense my emotions immediately.
"I’m driving home," I tell him.
"No, you’re not. You’re drunk. I’ll take you home and come back for the rest of them later."
I nod, letting him lead me out as my mind replays the scene over and over, of Vic’s lips on Craig’s, of the soft moans coming from his mouth. By the time we get to the car, I’m biting my lip to keep from crying once again.
"So," Tony says as he starts to pull out onto the road. "Mind telling me what happened?"
After a moment of silence, I quietly say, “I found Vic kissing Craig.”
He turns to me with a strange look on his face that I’m too drunk to try to decipher. “Oh, boy,” he says. “That’s…not good.”
Neither of us seem to know what else to say, so we just sit in silence until we reach Vic’s house. Tony drops me off there, making sure that I’m going to be okay, and then he drives back to the party as I use the spare key under the mat to get inside.
It’s almost one in the morning, and I really don’t feel like thinking about anything right now, so I just head up to Vic’s room and crash in his bed. It’s only been about a week since we first started sleeping together, but I miss his arms already, and I hate myself for that.
—
When I fall asleep, I dream that I’m back at that party, that I’m pushing through people in an effort to find Vic. I know what’s going to happen before I even see it.
He and Craig are kissing again, and no matter how much I call out his name, he doesn’t so much as look at me. It’s like I don’t even exist.
Then the scene switches, and all of a sudden, I’m alone with him on the side of a highway. “I don’t give a shit about you, darling,” he says, shaking his head and smiling at me. “I never did.”
I want to say something, but my throat feels like it has closed up. Vic, why? Why did you pretend for so long?
"Goodbye," he says sweetly, and then he pushes me out onto the road.
I wake up just as the car hits me. I’m sweating and breathing heavily, and the whole room is dark. It’s just barely two in the morning. I only slept for an hour.
The first thing I think of is that fucking kiss, how it hurts like that car slamming into me, going seventy miles an hour and shattering all my bones. Fuck. It hurts a lot. It feels like this whole thing with Vic—all the kisses, all those sweet words, everything—was just a dream, and now I’ve been shoved back into reality. Dreams always end.
I glance up at where I’ve hung the dream catcher on the wall above the bed, and my heart clenches. It’s supposed to catch bad dreams. Maybe it should’ve caught Vic.
Well, I think bitterly, it didn’t work.
—
NOTE:
I’m not going to have internet access for a few days (starting tomorrow morning), so this won’t be updated until around Monday or Tuesday. Also, no comments or messages will be replied to until then. Apologies for the cliffhanger.