Still Him

January 10,2019

I think it's crazy how people's feelings can change. Especially how you pretended to feel. You pretended to be in love with me. That doesn't just go away if it's real. And idk what you don't get. Idk why you don't understand. Idk why you don't get how hurt I am about it. I have every reason to be upset. And I know you won't read this. And whatever. But idk. I loved you. I really loved you. That's why this sucks so bad. My feelings were real. And yours weren't. Why wouldn't that be upsetting. Why wouldn't it be upsetting that I was your person. And you just decided I wasn't anymore. How awful is that. To be all about someone and then the next second you aren't. That hurts. I don't know. You think someone wants you and turns out they don't. It's heartbreaking. And I know you're hurting. And I am sorry. But just like you're focusing on you, I'm focusing on me. And it hurts. It hurts you don't love me. It hurts you don't want me. I mean. I get not accessing your feelings completely. But wouldn't you still love me. Wouldn't you still know you want me. How does all of that go away. I just don't get it I guess. I just can't believe you would lose feelings for me. I honestly did think you loved me. I didn't think that would happen. And I can't believe it has. And you don't even care. You don't even feel sorry about it. Or for hurting me. And I just. I hate being so worthless to you. I hate being so pathetic. I just. Wish I didn't love you either