"It is only in adventure that some people succeed in knowing themselves – in finding themselves." – Andre Gide
•••
"It's Nav-AH-duh!"
"No, it's Ne-VA-da!"
"Nav-AH-duh!"
"It's Ne-VA-da, Lovett!" Della screamed, exasperated. "Believe me, if you talk to someone from Nevada and you waltz in there and say 'Navahduh,' you're going to get kicked out of the nearest casino, fall on a cactus, and I'll just be standing there, laughing at you."
"Tomato, tomahto..." I rolled my eyes. "We mean the same thing—the state with Vegas. Give me a break."
"It's not the same, Lovett!" Della groaned, goofily beating her head on the passenger window as if she was fed up with my nonsense. "Just don't embarrass me when we get to Vegas, okay? We're slowly but surely nearing my people and I won't let you make a fool of yourself in front of me. Los Angeles is literally right next door."
I made a sour face. "As if I could embarrass you."
Della smirked and pulled her long hair up into a messy bun on top of her head. "Ever been to Vegas before?"
"Nope," I shrugged. "Barely been out of New York and Jersey."
"You're in for a treat," she grinned widely. "We'll be driving through at dusk."
"Why does that matter?" I questioned, passing a car that was driving way too slow.
"You'll see," she said as she turned up the radio, "you'll love it."
As the radio played, Della bobbed her head along with another singer I'd never heard before. Seriously, I had no clue where she dug up some of this music...
I drifted into thought about what happened at the Canyon. Della had behaved strangely, but seemed very apologetic afterwards and kept trying to do and say little things as if she meant to make it up to me.
For instance, when she went into a gas station at 3 am this morning to grab food, she came back with an extra-large black coffee for me instead of my typical, normal-sized cup. And she brought me a breakfast sandwich because she knew I liked them. After I ate, she offered to drive again and let me get a little sleep.
It felt as though Della was trying to apologize without actually saying the words; without actually bringing up the situation. Part of me was glad that she did it this way because it spared me more embarrassment. But the other side of me was completely pissed that she was continuing to ignore everything and act like it wasn't happening.
Why all of the mixed signals? Why the secrecy? Why the denial? Was this something she could talk about in LA? Did I have a chance?
•••
The lights were absolutely dazzling. Everywhere you looked, neon lights, twinkle lights, Christmas lights, flashing lights... The city of Las Vegas literally glowed from top to bottom. Music blared in the streets, people clambered together in rowdy groups, and traffic was insanely backed up. But for once in my life, I didn't mind.
If I'm perfectly honest with myself, it kind of looked like New York. Lights, buildings, people... If you've seen one, you've seen them all. But something about Vegas was much more alluring and dazzling, as if every corner was pleading for you to pay attention to it.
You see, New York, on the other hand, didn't care. New York City knew it was New York City and had such a confidence in its own identity that didn't take the first step to ensure that you knew or gave a crap. It didn't have to! It simply was, and that was that.
Las Vegas, though, reminded me of that one cool schoolkid who knew they were cool, but was still constantly begging for attention, doing whatever it took to make people notice them. Wearing crazy expensive clothes, getting a new haircut, buying stuff for the heck of it, doing stupid stuff on a dare... That was Vegas. It knew it was cool, but it liked to be reminded.
"You know you can see this place from outer space, right?" Della mentioned, taking in the glow from the window seat.
"Really?" I replied.
"Yep. It's kind of amazing if you think about it. The fact that this little place is so bright, it can be seen so very far away."
"Yeah, I mean, New York's pretty bright too, but obviously nothing like this."
"Oh?" Della asked, softly. "I thought I'd be much better than this."
I frowned a little. "Haven't you been to New York City?"
Della shrugged. "Not really. I had plans to go but I haven't yet."
"Wait a minute," I flipped my head over to her. "Didn't we meet just outside of New York state? We were in Pennsylvania, right?"
Della grew quiet. "Well, yeah."
"What the heck were you doing in Pennsylvania then? New York was literally right there!"
Della paused. "I mean, I was kind of on my way there, but my plans sort of fell through."
I blinked. "What do you mean your plans fell through? What stupid reason could've made you not—"
Suddenly, I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. Something had just occurred to me—something I'd never thought to question before, and the idea was of the earth-shattering nature. If I was right, I knew I couldn't come back from it.
Della said nothing.
"Della..." I inhaled, trying to remain calm, "please don't tell me that... I was the stupid reason you didn't go to New York."
She smiled a little, as if sharing an inside joke with herself. "It wasn't stupid, Jason."
I lost my mind.
"Della, no way. No-ho-ho-hooo way. You did not skip out on visiting one of the top places people go to visit when they come to the United States. You did not skip out on the city of dreams. And you did not skip out on visiting my land and my people just so you could drive some stringy, loser guy like me to Los-Freaking-Angeles. It's literally on the OTHER SIDE of the country!"
Della just continued to smile to herself, ignoring my meltdown. She seemed to be amused by my fit.
"Della, please, tell me it's not true," I pleaded. "I'm going to feel terrible if it is true."
She finally let out a sigh and said, "Jason, New York will always be New York. It's always gonna be there. But people don't hang around forever. I'd pick this trip with you over New York all over again if I had the choice. I don't regret anything."
"But why? I don't get it. Why in the world would you do that?" I deflated. "That's literally the craziest thing I've ever heard of someone doing."
"Maybe I am a little crazy," she said matter-of-factly. "Or maybe I noticed someone special and knew that I had a chance to make a difference."
"I could've been anybody!" I screamed in frustration. "I literally could've been anybody!"
"But you weren't. You were you."
"Don't get all philosophical on me."
"I wasn't."
"Yeah, you were. You were trying to distract me."
"I don't regret anything, Jason," she said, not tearing her eyes away from me. "Every single moment on the trip has been amazing. Getting to know you has been... It's been better than anything I could've ever done in New York. It was better than Stanford. And it was much better than traveling alone."
I didn't say anything. What could I say to that? After debating what to say for a moment or two, I finally said, "Every single moment?"
She blushed a little. "Yep."
"You confuse me," I huffed.
"I know."
"You drive me insane."
"I know."
"And you kind of make me mad. Like, a lot."
"I know." I could hear the smile in her voice.
"As for your secrets and mixed signals... It's a lot to handle. I really wish you could just tell me what you want to say to me and not talk in riddles all the time."
"I know..." Her smiling voice was gone, replaced by a more somber tone.
"But even though you're wearing me down and I don't know what to do about it," I gripped the steering wheel, "I can't make myself regret this trip either. Believe me, I've tried."
There was no response for a beat.
"... I know."
••••••••••••
Two chapters in ONE DAY. Yes, it's a miracle. Or maybe I'm just super pumped that I'm so close to finishing this story. (I mean, I'm sad too. But I'm so happy that this three-year chapter of my life is finally turning its final page. BUT LET'S NOT GET TOO EMOTIONAL JUST YET.)
Favorite part?
Were you surprised by anything?
Are you glad Della is finally opening up a little?
Be sure to comment, vote, and share! Thank you, guys!