"Baby, that's-"
"I knew it. I knew y-"
"André, it's not yours,"
continued
André's smile dissipated and his joy quickly turned to anger. "I'm sorry, what? You've been stepping out on me?" He said in a voice that was two hops away from calm. Tori dropped her spoon in her bowl and turned towards her husband.
"Of course not," Tori defensively replied. "That's disgusting of you to even think! I would never cheat on you!" Tori fought. André shoved the picture towards Tori with a look of confusion.
"But yet, this baby isn't mine!" He sarcastically yelled. Tori snatched the picture from under André's fingers and shoved the picture in his face.
"We didn't even know each other then!" She yelled, pointing to the date that clearly predated their relationship. He hadn't even noticed that he had completely skipped over the numbers that clearly dated the picture three years before they'd gotten together. "I was in an abusive relationship. I did things that I thought I had to because I didn't want to lose him. We broke up and while I was touring, I found out that I was pregnant. I carried him to twenty weeks before they found the hole in my amniotic sac that had been leaking for a while. He died before I even got to meet him," Tori explained. André's expression softened.
"Tori. I-"
"It's fine. You didn't know. But, did you ever stop to wonder why?" Tori muttered, before taking the picture and leaving out of the kitchen. André felt like a jerk after that. And his cravings started to set back in. He wished that he had read the picture. He wished he could go back. But, now he was forced to reconcile, while staying sober.
Quickly, André followed after her but was met with a door in his face. "Tori, I'm sorry," André yelled through the door. "Come out or open up. We can talk about this. I didn't mean to upset you," he apologized. Silence kept the German basketball player company for a little while before he heard the bedroom door unlock. He slowly entered to see Tori sitting on the bed in tears. "Baby, I'm sorry. I don't know why I would even assume something like that," he whispered. Tori looked up at the man before her but held the picture close to her heart.
"I wanted to tell you for so long, but I didn't want you to look at me differently. I wasn't pure when we got married and I already felt terrible about that. But, the fact that I carried another man's child inside of me, just made it worse. And I know you weren't either, but it's not the same," Tori sulked. André held his hand under her chin and pecked her lips.
"You are perfectly imperfect. I am not in judgment of you, because you know all the things that I've done. So what, I wasn't your first? I'm gonna be your last. That's all that matters to me. And hey, we can make our own baby guilt free. Not to replace the one you lost, but to fill the void. I've always wanted to have kids with you and I think that now that I know this, I want to even more. Clearly, you were meant to be a mother if God allowed you to get pregnant, so why not?" André shrugged. Tori stared blankly at him and held up the picture.
"This is why not! I can't go through another heartbreak like that. I suffered in silence for months, because I was the good Christian girl who didn't have sex with a guy she wasn't married to! And when I got pregnant, I suffered my consequence. I lost my baby, I alienated myself from my family and friends, I did my time. I'm not trying to be punished for something else by losing another child. No. That's why not," Tori replied, before walking into the bathroom and locking herself away for hours. André's skin started to crawl as the incessant hounding of his demons pounded against his skull.
fin
2:30 PM
Tori and Alexa sat in bikini's with their feet in the jacuzzi on Carlos and Alexa's balcony. The guys were getting food from Johnny Rockets and the kids were in the playpen watching the IPad on the other side of the balcony. "I wanna get in so badly," Tori whined, wrapping her arms around her torso, slightly cold.
"Sorry, babe, but we want a healthy baby," Alexa sighed. Tori nodded and wiggled her toes under the water.
"I know," Tori groaned with a slight laugh. She had a long road ahead of her and she was already over it. In her first pregnancy, she had no idea she was even pregnant until 15 weeks and she went through hell because she had still been drinking and didn't even know. With this pregnancy, she was ultra aware of everything that she was doing and it was almost driving her insane.
"So, correct me if I'm wrong, but you are excited about this baby, right?" Alexa asked.
"Uhh," Tori stuttered. She did her best to shy away from the word excited. "Excited is a bit too strong. I was thinking more along the lines of accepted and aware. André, on the other hand, is ecstatic," Tori replied. Alexa hummed and sipped on her mimosa. "What?" Tori asked, seeing Alexa's partial disbelief.
"Nothing, I'm just...I don't know. Lately, I've been stuck in Romans 12:12 which says to rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulations, and be constant in prayer. And I have been. I— I wouldn't say I'm necessarily worried, but I am definitely in constant prayer for you. I pray that you come to the joy you deserve during this pregnancy. Because babies truly are a blessing, and I know that you know that, but I also know all you went through to get here," Alexa said, as the only person who lived Tori's situation with her. Tori let a few tears slip as she scooted closer to Alexa and gave her a side hug.
"I love you. And I'm so grateful, you and Los are in my life. I literally could not have done that alone," Tori expressed. Alexa wiped her own tears and laid her head against Tori's shoulder, watching the ocean and sky dance on the horizon. Tori placed her hand over her stomach. It wasn't the child's fault. They didn't ask to be created. And while she hadn't either. Alexa was completely right. Tori deserved to be happy about this pregnancy and as soon as she could see that her last pregnancy was different, she would get right on that.
flashback
Tori was only in LA for two days in the middle of her tour and she felt off. Alexa had suggested taking a pregnancy test since the singer had come out of a sexually active relationship. Little did they know, Tori's life would change with the results of the sticks. So there they sat, in the PenaVega bathroom with seven pregnancy tests scattered about the bathroom sink. "What am I supposed to do?" The twenty-two year old worried. "I can't tell my family!" She groaned.
"Well, you have to at least see a doctor. You don't have to tell anyone, but you have to seek medical attention. We don't even know how far along you are," Alexa advised. Tori leaned against the wall with her hands sliding back and forth against her abdomen. She didn't really feel pregnant, but she also had no idea what that meant or felt like.
"I must be pretty far. Travis and I haven't done it since April," Tori muttered. Alexa's eyes went wide as she pulled out a calendar.
"Victoria, that was 4 months ago! How did you not notice you haven't had a period in 4 months?" Alexa asked, slowly becoming maternal over Tori. The singer shrunk into herself with a shrug.
"I was stressed. I thought that's what it was," Tori excused. Alexa rolled her eyes and dragged Tori to the office and set up an appointment for the next week. "Lex, I don't want to-"
"Hi! So, my friend just found out she's pregnant and we have no idea how far along she is," Alexa paused. "Victoria Kelly," Alexa answered. "Tuesday? Perfect. Thank you," Alexa hung up. Tori gasped and took a seat in Carlos's chair.
"I'm screwed," Tori whined. Alexa shrugged and patted Tori's shoulder before leading the way to the kitchen for lunch.
fin
Carlos and André started on their journey back to the PenaVega room when Carlos glanced at André's scar. "Dude, you know that was your fault, right?" Carlos asked. André noticed what he was looking at and nodded with a short chuckle.
"Yeah. I know that now. It literally could've been avoided had I not been so blind. Dude, I- God showed me. And while it was painful and scary and the start of an uphill battle, I'm so thankful that he still saved my life when I turned my back on him. He showed his hand and I will always have the scar to remember that he is God. Some people have tattoos... I have a scar," André shrugged. He wasn't scared to admit that he was no longer a victim of his incident. As a stronger Christian, he could pinpoint his foolishness and even look back and laugh, because the old him died a long time ago and was replaced with the André that stood before them. The André that was clean and sober. The André that coached little league basketball. The André that loved Jesus and put him first. The André that was ready to be a father. The André that needed to feed the foodie he had married, before she got hangry.
🔐🔐🔐
To Be Continued...