trigger warning: abuse, bruises, self harm, homophobia, scars, talks about miscarriage, etc.
please don't read if you're sensitive to any of these topics or similar topics. i am NOT romanticizing them!! <3 if you're feeling suicidal or are suffering with mental health, please contact a trusted adult.
NATIONAL SUICIDE PREVENTION LINE/NUMBER: 1-800-273-8255
rons pov-
it's a surprise my own father doesn't know i'm gay, there's so many signs that just fly by his head. i don't know if my mom knows, but if she did she wouldn't care.
pete, whom i refuse to call my dad, is homophobic. i've thought about coming out to him so many times, but i know it would start a lot of shit.
there's been so many times that i've thrown myself in front of my mom and sam so he wouldn't hurt them, and right now is another one of those times.
"p-please- calm down... they didn't do anything to you." i stand in front of the both of them, catching a glimpse of my old self harm scars as my long sleeve shirt rolls up a little. i shake off the image and try not to think about it.
pete swings towards me.
his fist hits my cheek, and it stings.
really fucking bad.
i fall onto the floor, pushing my hands against it to try and get back up before he goes for them.
"go!" i whisper to them. it's always bad, but tonight he's extra pissed. and i'm not about to watch him take it out on them for the millionth time.
"ron no- i cant-"
"mom!" i glare at sam. she knows if she stays she'll put sam in danger too. she hates watching pete hurt me, i know that as a fact. but its better than us all getting hurt. especially sam, he's so sensitive.
she sobs and tugs sam to the other room. pete tries to run after them but i grab his ankle from the floor to stall him.
"leave them alone!" i yell, trying to stand.
he kicks me in the ribs and i let out a loud groan, the pain spreads to my chest.
"fuck." i cough. it hurts, but i don't give up.
i grab his shirt and throw my fist at his jaw as hard as i can, stinging my knuckles.
i then try to kick him in the nuts, but he punches me back to the ground; getting on me and repeatedly throwing his fists at my face.
i don't beg for him to stop, i just wait for the pain to end. showing pain makes him seem stronger, thats the last thing i want.
my father is the reason i'm careful around people, i'm basically hardened. i feel emotions, sure, everyone does; but i don't express them hardly ever.
i used to find relief in cutting, but eventually it stopped helping. my scars are daily reminders of the way i've suffered, and i try to hide them. sometimes i just don't give a fuck, like i'll wear t-shirts when it's hot and not even care who sees my scars.
i only hide them because i don't want the pity, they don't bother me anymore, but no one else needs to see them. they're a part of my body and there's no getting rid of them.
"fuck you!" i curse and try to fight back, head-butting pete just in time to back away.
my face throbs, i can barely stand the pain.
"watch your goddamn mouth! you fucking piece of shit!" he knees me in the same place in my ribs, making me whimper below him.
i just take it. i don't fight back. it's happened way too many times. i know he's stronger than me.
i take all the hits, feeling nauseous by the end of it.
"get out." he snaps.
"no." i snap back, i'm not leaving my mom and sam.
"i said get the fuck out!" he picks me up by my shirt collar and slams me back down.
"no!"
another hit, this one hurts like a bitch.
i can feel the warmth of blood on my face, my ribs feel bruised and sore.
i groan and cup the spot.
"i want you out now. or i'll kill you."
i back up. i know he isn't kidding. he's come close before. "okay."
he watches as i go to leave, but i turn around as fast as i can.
i pull my knife from my holster and push it towards him, slicing open his forearm.
he yelps and grabs the spot, watching as the blood drips out from under his hand.
i hold my knife in front of me. "get the fuck out." i snap, holding it out in front of me.
he laughs in my face. "you don't have the guts."
i ignore his words, adjusting my grip on the knife.
"go ahead. stab me." he smirks.
i feel my cheeks heat up with anger. i wanna hurt him. i wanna hurt him so bad.
"fuck you." i say through my teeth.
he grips my wrist, causing my knife to fall to the floor with a loud clank.
"i always knew you were a pussy, ron." he cocks his head and squints. "now get the hell out."
-
after i'm thrown out, i make my way to enid's. i have nothing but my holster with my weapons and the clothes on my body. "een?" i call out as i walk in.
"yeah?" she calls from the kitchen.
"i need some help." i wince and close the door.
"okay one second." she finishes up something and walks out.
"jesus christ ron...." she sits me down, frowning.
"your dad again?"
i nod, that's all i have to do. mikey and enid are the only people in alexandria other than my family that know. i plan on keeping it that way.
she cleans my wounds with a first aid kit, something she has to do a lot.
"they're still in there."
"your mom and sam?" she continues to clean my wounds, i wince as she brushes the cotton swab over my slit eyebrow.
i nod. "but i cant go back right now. it'll make it worse."
"i'm sure they'll be fine, they still have the lock on the closet right?"
"yeah, thank god he's too stupid to find it." i sigh and run my hand through my hair, taking my shirt off so she can examine my ribs.
my back has scars from welts pete gave me with his belt, my arms are decorated in permanent self harm scars and several new bruises.
my body is filled with reminders of pete and all the horrible things he's done to me.
"holy hell." she looks at all the marks that were hidden by my shirt.
"yeah, i know. it's bad." i sigh and hold my shirt in my hands.
"do you mind if i stay the night? if i go back pete will beat my ass more than he already has."
"no, i don't mind." she cleans the cut on my collar bone, then my bloody knuckles.
"this is pretty deep... i might have to bandage it."
i wince as she cleans the cuts on my knuckles, examining the one on my middle knuckle.
"it'll be fine, just put antibiotic on it please."
"are you sure?"
i nod.
she does as told and puts everything away when she finishes. "ron?"
"yeah?"
"i'm sorry about the other night. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. i'm just stressed."
"it's okay, i understand." i smile a little.
"do you want some ice?"
i shake my head. "no. i'm just gonna go to sleep, thank you." i lay down on her couch, being careful not to hit any bruises or cuts.
"you can sleep in one of the guest bedrooms ron. i have three." she says. she lives alone, and the house is a five bedroom house. she uses one room for storage or something and one more for her room.
"i'm okay right here, thank you." i close my eyes and my head throbs.
"ron...." enid says quietly.
"hm?"
"would you do me a huge favor...?"
"sure." i practically mumble, i'm exhausted.
she hesitates.
i open my eyes and look over at her, she's sitting on the floor.
"what is it een?"
she swallows nervously.
"would you um... maybe- sneak into the infirmary and see if there's any-" she doesn't continue.
"any what?"
"p-pregnancy tests...?" she chokes up a little.
"you're pregnant?" i sit up, looking at her.
"no! at least- i don't think so... but i don't remember what happened the other night. i know i had sex with mikey, but i don't think we used protection." she looks panicked.
"i uh... sure. yeah i can do that. but what happens if you're-"
"-then i worry about it then." she interrupts me.
"okay. you know i'm here for you, right?"
"don't get all soft on me ron." she rolls her eyes playfully.
"shut up, i'm trying to help."
"just get the tests please, i'll need a couple." she laughs a little.
"alright, what time does denise check in?"
"usually eleven." she yawns.
"i'll go around ten then."
"yeah that should work. i'm gonna go to bed. are you sure you don't wanna sleep upstairs in a bed?"
i nod and lay back down on the couch. "i'm good. thank you enid."
"of course, i love you." she smiles and heads upstairs.
"i love you too."
enid's my best friend, we have our rough patches, but i love her. i'd pretty much do anything for her, even though she gets on my fucking nerves sometimes. i don't know what she's gonna do if she's pregnant, she's only seventeen, and definitely no where near ready for a baby.
plus mikey would never step up, he's so irresponsible you'd think he's a child.
not to mention the risks of pregnancy during the apocalypse, not only could the baby die, but enid could too. i honestly don't think i could ever lose enid, i've known her since almost the start.
i decide to try and put my mind off of it and get some sleep.
-
a/n: sorry for the short chapter, it's also pretty shitty. i have writers block rn but i'm trying really hard to figure out ideas for this story. vote if you enjoy please!! :)