Writer's Note-
I'm still shook that we got all the way here. Over 9.95k reads as of January 9th 2019. I'm a very lucky wattpader and it's all because of you guys.
Seriously. Each of you who has voted, commented, read and added this story to your reading lists - I'm so thankful for it all. This is officially the second last chapter and it's been a nearly four month journey of D&M. I've become attached to the story but I'm also ready to move on, ykno?
I'll be honest, I'm a bit afraid, too. I feel like I've reached my peak, aha. I'll aspire for my next story to be as well received.
Also yeah this song is a cover but Kina Grannis has a sweet mournful quality to her voice. Derrick would totally be hopping to her.
9k readers stats->
Age:
13-18 (26%)
18-25 (30%)
25-35 (9%)
35-45 (1%)
Over 45 (1%)
Private (33%)
Gender:
Female (56%)
Male (11%)
Private (33%)
United States: 41.954%
Vietnam: 10.345%
Australia: 5.172%
UK: 5.096%
Canada: 5.172%
South Africa: 2.874%
Germany: 2.874%
India: 3.448%
New Zealand: 1.724%
Argentina, Belgium, Ghana: 1.149%
Ireland, The Philippines: 1.724%
Albania, Austria, Bulgaria, Croatia, Ecuador, France, Guinea, Italy, Ireland, Jamaica, Korea, Malaysia, Myanmar, Nigeria, Netherlands, Puerto Rico, Saudi Arabia, Serbia, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, and Trinidad & Tobago: each 0.575%
#
"So...How was Cuba?" I said pushing my fork around on my plate.
"Fine." Mike said in a clipped voice, eyes fixated anywhere but on me.
Mike hadn't kicked me out yet even though he kept giving me hints that I should leave. He'd made breakfast sandwiches for the both of us, and it seemed like he'd gone grocery shopping while I'd been asleep. Our breakfast sandwiches comprised of a multigrain bagel, fried egg, bacon, lettuce, avocado and spicy mayo for me, whereas Mike had a quinoa, lettuce and falafel wrap.
It made me think it was a lot of effort to go through for someone he didn't like. If I didn't go grocery shopping with Mike he often went to some high end place that had more nannies and personal shoppers shopping rather than real customers. The ingredients were all organic and fair trade which basically just meant expensive to me. The one thing was that you could taste the difference. And the fact I wasn't sick anymore made everything taste amazing. Even tap water tasted incredible. It had been like my sickness was a grey fog encapsulating everything. And now the fog had been lifted.
Except...I looked across the table at Mike. That tight expression hadn't gone away on his face all morning. For a moment he would relax and then I'd see a furrow form between his brows when he noticed me staring.
It had never been difficult to engage Mike in conversation before, so sitting here in front of him and still being so far away was a special brand of torture.
"Can you just talk to me?" I said quietly, pushing a bagel crust around my plate.
Mike's face lost its tenseness for a moment but then it came back in waves. "There's nothing else to say." But then he chewed on his lip, face growing pained. "Did you ever- Did you ever really love me, Derrick?" His hands trembled slightly as he stared down at his fingers. "Because, if that was part of whatever curse you put on me-"
"No!" I said too loudly, standing up. Mike looked up at me with wet eyes and I tried again. "No. That was seriously a complete accident, Mike. Oh God, please don't look like that." I wanted to touch him but didn't know if I was allowed to. Seeing Mike in pain and knowing I was the reason was making it hard to breathe. But I had done this, and I was continuing to do it to him.
I pushed my fingers through my hair. "I remember the first time I re-met you and it didn't matter what I said or what I did or if I was upset you were always warm, and acceptant and kind. When we visited your family for dinner and we slept in the same bed..." I touched my chest. "My heart never beat that fast before. It felt like the butterflies in my stomach were just going to explode. And when we went on our first date, when we held hands for the first time, when you kiss me. All those things, all those moments are perfect for me." I swallowed. "You're perfect to me. And I wish that I realized it sooner because you are too good for me, because you're more patient than I'll ever be and I was so lucky. I was so lucky to have you. So, you don't have to worry about my having ever loved you because I still do. And, I know that's the wrong thing to say but I'm going to be honest with you from now on. I'm not asking for you to take me back because even for me that's too selfish. But seeing you sad is-" my voice cracked and I pushed powerless fingers through my hair again. "I'm sorry if this is because of me."
I watched Mike waiting for him to say something. My heart broke into a thousand pieces when I saw a tear slip down his face. I let out an anguished groan, walking over to him. I couldn't help it. I cupped his face, swiping away his tears with my thumbs. "Oh, Mike. Please don't cry. No, no, no, no. I can fix this. Just tell me what to do. Tell me what to say."
Mike reached up and held my wrists. For a moment we just stared at one another. And then he laughed. A little small and a little broken. "That's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me." Mike said in a voice garbled by almost tears.
He looked like he was about to say something when my phone started vibrating on the table. Whatever moment we were having fizzled into awkwardness. I took my hands off of Mike's face and snatched up my phone. Mike got up to clear the breakfast plates.
"What. Do. You. Want." I said through my teeth, hating whoever had interrupted.
"That's a terrible way to greet your doctor who has stayed up all night trying to figure out what curse you have." Ky said in his gravelly voice.
Oh shit, this again. "Listen, Ky. That whole curse situation? It's good now." I mumbled. "I'm fine."
There was a moment where I could actually feel the silence. "What is that supposed to mean?" Ky said eventually.
I went to the guest bedroom, and explained the situation in a rush feeling the seconds tick by as Mike was in another room slipping further and further away from me.
"Jesus Christ." Ky said afterwards. "I'll have to inform the Magic Federation about this, Derrick. Being able to curse someone because you get a little emotional is a potential danger not only to yourself as evidenced by what happened but maybe others, too."
"What?" I said, pacing the room and looking back at the door repeatedly. "Yeah, sure, whatever. But I can't talk right now."
"This is serious, Derrick."
"Okay, talk to you later. And sorry you had to stay up for me, I should have texted you as soon as I realized." I took a breath, speaking honestly. "Thank you for everything you've done for me Ky."
I hung up while Ky was trying to reply. By the time I got back out into the living room, Mike was slipping on his shoes, and picking up his briefcase. He was dressed in another sinfully tailored suit. Damn, he was wearing the cuff links. I don't even think he realized it. But that potentially accidental gesture made my heart swell.
Mike checked his watch and turned to me. "I'll drop you off."
#
The car ride was awkward as I sat there looking for the perfect words. The minutes kept ticking by as we got closer and closer to my apartment. By the time we were turning the corner nothing had been said.
The car stopped in front of my building and I sat there.
"Uhm." Mike said quietly. "I think you should go."
There were so many things I could have said. And I didn't know what to say. I just felt like I was drowning beneath the reality that I was walking out of Mike's life. "I don't want to." I blurted out.
"...Excuse me?" Mike said slowly as the world held still.
"Because," I started, feeling my tattoos pulse beneath my skin. "You're my person, okay? You look at me like you understand me, and I know you do. From the beginning-or at least from what I remember you've been there for me. And sometimes-" I swallowed, twisting my hands together finding it harder to say than I expected. "Sometimes, I wonder what you ever saw in me. But, when you're around-" I looked up at him, feeling something lodge in my throat. "I feel warm. I feel okay and comfortable. Even though I shouldn't be, even if everything is kind of a mess, I feel warm when I'm with you. And I don't think I could love anyone the way I-" My throat closed and I couldn't continue. I just looked at him hopefully.
The feeling of hope plummeted when I saw his face. Mike looked uncomfortable, like he had swallowed something unsettling and just wanted me to leave. I was surprised by how much that hurt. A bit of that old resentment flared up. "I guess you can finally get rid of me." I said out of the corner of my mouth.
Mike's mouth softened and a bit of the tenseness eased our of his shoulders. He touched my shoulder. "Don't do that, Derrick. No more arguments, okay? And you know I don't want to get rid of you..."
I touched Mike's thigh, squeezing the warm muscle there. I looked into Mike's eyes, noticing for the first time that there was a bit of green in the grey. "Then keep me." I said almost too quietly for me to hear myself.
Mike locked eyes with me, licked his lips and then looked away pretending not to hear me.
"I know I sound crazy." I said quickly. "But I meant what I said before and I'm going to change, Mike. I'm going to stop being selfish. I'm going to work on myself and become the kind of person who is worthy of being by your side. I'll be..." worthy of you. I wanted to say. "I'll be a good friend." I finished lamely.
Mike gave me a sad smile. "I hope everything works out for you, Derrick."
I didn't see how it could but that didn't stop Mike from reaching over to me and pressing the release on my seatbelt. And then he set his jaw and looked anywhere but at me.
"So, this is it?" I said, feeling stupid.
Mike didn't look at me when he spoke. "I can't be with someone who doesn't trust me. Who doesn't trust me not to curse him. That's just not the kind of person I am." He fixed cold eyes on me. "I'm still angry and I won't stop being angry. I don't see how you think I can just blow past you thinking I would do anything to hurt you. So yes, to answer your question, this is it."
I didn't know what to say so I didn't say anything at all. I skulked out of the car feeling guilt swarm and weigh down my chest. As soon as my door closed, Mike drove out of my neighbourhood in a flash.
#
A few days later.
"So that was plan B. Plan C is like an advanced version of that. I've already made the mix tape. I mean, I don't know why Mike likes Shakira so much but Shakira is what he's going to get. So I'll put the CD in the boom box and go by his house and stand outside his window, somewhere on his lawn. He'll be like 'Oh my God, Derrick. I love you. Let's get back together.' And if that doesn't work plan D will be me wearing my tightest pair of jeans and just 'bumping' into him at the grocery store or something." I took a moment to inhale but Ky was making a sour expression on his face so I paused. "What's the problem?"
Ky pinched the bridge of his nose. "It's over, Derrick. There's no plan A or B. The alphabet isn't long enough to fix this. The relationship is over. You and Mike are no longer together. Do you understand?"
I just couldn't accept that knowing this was different than when I'd broken up with him. This situation was out of my control. "But maybe if I just-"
"There is no short term solution, Derrick. And you know it." Ky wouldn't stop shaking his head.
"B-but-"
"Derrick." He said in a warning tone. "Let me ask you a very fair question: Is this the best way to move forward?"
My mouth felt like it was filled with cotton as I chewed out the words. "Maybe not."
"And as hard as this is to hear you'll have to get used to life without him."
"But, what if I don't want to?" I said in a small voice, twisting my hands together.
Ky started in a slow careful voice. "Maybe you don't want to, Derrick. But maybe you need to."
I just continued twisting my hands together, feeling my dull nails bite into my hand. I took a long stuttering breath as my eyes filled with tears. I let out a broken sob, putting my face into my hands before I started weeping.
#
It's crazy that we got all the way here, huh?
Overall thoughts on the chapter?
Did you guys have a favourite moment or chapter from D&M?
Personally speaking, I feel like the second half of chapter 17 I really like. Like, not to brag but I felt that.
Okay, serious question here, should I do a sequel? I can come up with the next part of D&M's story. I've planted a couple seeds. But is it worth it?
Also, do you guys like this cover that I currently have for D&M? I guess the rose reference will make more sense next chapter.
Also, also, I've drafted my Xander & Achilles story. I'm really excited for it tbh. I changed a lot of things from the previous version and I think it'll be a sweet novella. We stan character growth and the story will be about that.
Also, also, also- I'm very excited for the last chapter. This was posted on January 10th where we got 10k reads and Idk what to say. In my wildest dreams I wished for 10k. This has become a very wild dream (!!!)