Percy Flynn
Being alone in the car left me with some alone time with my phone. First off, I changed my relationship status on social media — I can't believe I forgot to do that all this while — then I proceeded to un-follow Janis everywhere. I replied to some text mum and James sent me since God knows when and blocked Janis from my accounts. And then came the hard part of deleting our memories.
We dated for a really long time and I was sure the pictures on my phone were nothing compared to the once on hers even though they were much. Pictures of us at parties, pictures of us at the beach, pictures of us at the animal shelter — that almost brought a smile to my face. That's one thing about Janis; we both shared a love for puppies, especially strays. In fact, we shared a lot of things in common, everything I liked she did too and everything she liked, I did too. We were the perfect pair, I guess it's no surprise we were over now. Perfect doesn't cut it, that's if perfect even exists.
The picture I was looking at now was of Janis and I with wide grins on our faces and pup pit-bull between us. At the time this picture was taken, I could've sworn I loved her. I remember using this as my wallpaper for about a month or so. I also remember thinking – gosh, I might marry this girl.
Delete.
Unfortunately that's just the harsh reality of life, the people we thought we'll spend our lives with end up jumping off the train midway and those we thought we'd remain enemies with forever, we end up lending them a hand as they get into the train. For example, Spencer freaking Caldwell Tracey.
I smiled to myself, deleting the pictures in groups and pairs. I didn't know what's wrong with me, I couldn't believe I actually went ahead and opened the door for Spencer like I'm trying to woo him or something. I know, chivalry this, chivalry that but I only do that for girls, not boys. Who does that? I almost made a fool of myself. Then there's my jealousy with his little blond friend, that's just a topic I'd rather not go into now.
I was actually looking forward to spending time with Spencer, I think the appropriate thing to say is – I couldn't wait!
I got out of the car, shutting the door and looking around. Spencer was no show yet and I was in the mood to get a new selfie to replace some deleted once. I backed the hospital, raising my phone up above me..
"God, I look like a total girl," I grumbled to myself smiling as I went through the recently taken pictures. On the last one, I saw a small familiar figure at the background. As suspected when I turned around, I saw Spencer walking towards the car. He had his hands folded tightly in front of him and his steps were slow and calculative, like if he took his eyes away from the ground for a second, he'd fall.
I immediately knew something was wrong and I threw my phone into the car, walking on to meet him. "Spencer?" He didn't reply, he was close but he didn't hear me. I stopped walking, standing on his path and soon enough, he bumped into me.
"I'm sorry, I did--" he started distractedly but stopped when he saw it was me. His eyes were pooled with tears and his lips were wobbling a bit. "Hey," He breathed out.
"What's wrong?" I asked, my heart thudding in a scary way.
He shook his head, blinking back the tears. "Nothing."
"How's your mum?" I carefully asked.
He smiled. "She's fine, it's just always so hard seeing her in there."
I nodded, hand still on his shoulder as we started walking back to the car. I could only imagine how hard it must be for him. "I hope you gave her a kiss for me?"
"I did."
As I pulled out of the hospital and back into the road, I remembered he said something about showing her the paint samples. "Oh what did she think about the samples?"
He shrugged. "I don't know. She could barely see them. She's so weak and she could barely see. The doctors said it's the medication and tiredness messing with her." His voice cracked and he shut his eyes tight. "I'm sure she loves them though."
I didn't think about it or how it would look, all I wanted to do was comfort him one way or the other and show that I was here for him. So when my hand reached out, and held onto Spencer's, I let it. Spencer's eyes popped open and he looked at our hands together, I was really tempted to draw back. But then when he just smiled and held me tighter, all thoughts flew out and I just knew this was right.
This was perfectly just right.
*
"How come I never knew you had a part-time job?" I asked loading the things we bought into the car.
"Because it's new. I got it like, two weeks ago." He said relaxing on the car while I did all the work.
"And you're a waiter?"
"No, I work behind the cash register, take orders and... that's about it." He said twisting his fingers in a way I recognized as him being shy. "But I could be doing something else next week."
"Cool."
Spencer chuckled. "It's a cheap job at a tiny coffee place, what's cool about that? You, however, have a really cool job."
"Yea, guess I do." I agreed, smirking and Spencer didn't look surprised by my lack of modesty. "Anyway, you do too. Don't let yourself tell you otherwise."
"Yeah." I shut the trunk. "You need to be more confident and even if you aren't, fake it. You could do with a little more self esteem."
If he was put out by what I said, he didn't show instead he adjusted himself, placing his chin on his palm as he looked at me, all serious and intense. Well, that's until his lips quirked a little at me. "So that's your secret?"
I shrugged, "sure. You shouldn't let anyone push you around, discourage you or make you doubt yourself. Whatever you do is cool. Whatever you wear is amazing. You're awesome."
Spencer smiled, "okay."
I rolled my eyes. "Don't just say 'okay'. Say it yourself."
He straightened up. "Um..."
I stepped forward and grabbed his shoulders. "Whatever you do is cool."
"Whatever I do is cool," He repeated trying not to smile.
"Whatever you wear is amazing."
"Whatever I wear is amazing."
"You're awesome," I said much slower, getting lost with the way his hair was falling over his eyes and his lips looking really soft and plump. He has been biting on it that's for sure.
"I know." He replied instead and my smile was face splitting. "You are too."
"I know." I said just before my hand reaches out and tucks the falling hair away.
Spencer smiled and ducked away from my hold on him. "We should go."
I grabbed his hand, pulling him back, obviously with too much force because he smacks right into me and my other hand lands on his shoulder keeping him in place. Spencer looked at me a little flushed and even I myself did not expect that. But he was so close to me and I lost all sense of reasoning. Words started stumbling out of my mouth. "I don't want to go just yet."
Spencer's brows pinched together and I could see the confusion written all over his face. "Why not?"
I let my hand drop from his shoulder, running over his arm. Spencer looked down at my hand and I saw the small tinge of red on his cheek and he looked back at me. He opened his mouth about to say something but someone beat him to it.
"Get a room," Some girl said laughing but older girl beside her smacked her.
"Ew, don't look at them."
Spencer literally ran out of my hands and when I looked at him, he looked pissed. He just got into the car and slammed the door. I sighed, cursing the young girl as I got into the car too.
"What?" I asked, watching the way he had his arms crossed, his posture rigid.
"You shouldn't have done that," He replied, not looking at me but his thighs.
"Done what exactly?" I asked playing innocent.
He finally turned to me, glaring. "You know what. Don't joke with me like that Percy."
"Why not?"
"Just 'cause." He snapped, looking bewildered.
"Fine," I snapped back, unable to help it and regretting right after.
Spencer groaned and bent his head down, running his hand through his curls. "If you're horny, go get some cheerleader."
"I'm not horny." I fired back, blushing but actually getting exasperated now--- but I couldn't tell if it was at me or Spencer.
"Then why are you flirting with me?" He asked looking at me.
I shrugged. "Felt like."
He curled his lips up, "you're not gay."
"I'm not," I agreed but I was saying it more to myself. "But come on, you're freaking out over harmless nothing."
He sighed. "I just don't want to ruin this. What we have."
I wanted to ask questions, say many more things to him but I decided to end the topic there. "Okay. I'm sorry."
He nodded. "Sorry for freaking out."
I nodded too and that was the end of it. As I drove back to Spencer's house, I couldn't help but keep glancing back at him. Now I know what's wrong with me. Now I know what the problem was.
I was attracted to Spencer freaking Caldwell Tracey.
Oh God.
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