I felt slightly guilty, messaging Cindy and asking if she wanted to practice online in a few minutes. The guilt was only amplified by her enthusiastic reaction: a sound 'yes!!!!' followed by a bombardment of emojis.
This was actually the first time I had contacted her first. Huh, ulterior motives? What ulterior motives?
Aside from never telling her I don't teach video games out of the goodness of my heart, all I wanted to know was whether or not her cousin had been talking about me after Friday.
I stilled the uncomfortable nagging voice telling me I was awful by not talking about Asa or anything related to him until about thirty minutes into the game.
"So," I said, after Cindy beheaded several androids with one shot. "It sucked I wasn't able to join the tournament at school. Hope Asa didn't think it a waste of time."
My face heated up at merely saying his name out loud, and I realised all over again I was in way too deep.
"Nah," Cindy replied offhandedly, right before yelling, "Take that! Hah!" to one of her now dead opponents.
"Okay. That's, uh, good."
I tugged at a loose thread on my sweater. Cindy was far too focused on the game to offer more information. Or, so I thought. After firing a few more lasers, she snickered.
"Yeah, I bet 'that's good' because you like him."
At least three inches of thread came loose from my sweater as I accidentally pulled on it too hard.
"What? No!" I automatically blurted, but I couldn't exactly say that anymore now. "I mean, ye-- no, maybe?"
Cindy laughed harder, not even caring she just got killed in-game. "You sound like Asa when I asked about you. Are you his boyfriend now?"
I pulled my legs and wrapped my arms around them, then pressed my burning cheeks to my knees. I didn't want to have this type of conversation with a ten year old. "I don't know," I muffle-groaned.
"You should!" Cindy asserted. "You've been around longer than the others now, and I like you much better than the last one. She hated video games and pizza. Who hates video games and pizza?"
"My parents do."
"Yikes." Cindy paused. "Is that why you don't want to be known and join big tournaments? Because they won't support you doing it?"
I frowned. "No... Well, that too. But I wasn't lying when I said I don't like the attention. I'd much rather be in the crowd, watching."
"Oh," Cindy said. "Asa doesn't do mathlete stuff for you to watch anymore, though. Mom said it's too much stress and cause a re-- re--" Cindy gave up on finding the word. "But he's doing much better lately."
"I'm happy to hear that," I offered, politely, but while thinking I should steer away from this subject. This was starting to feel like an intrusion. Trespassing like I did in Asa's bedroom and still regretted.
I knew Asa was being treated, but I shouldn't know any of these things if he wasn't the one telling them.
"I'd be okay with a more local Double Singularity or Starcraft tournament, however," I changed the topic. "I kinda still need a replacement for Friday."
"Really? Local is okay?" Cindy's voice grew louder with excitement. "Wait! There's a big one right here in Georgia in a few days! Hang on, let me find it."
"Okay. Link me and I'll check it out," I promised.
"Honey, who are you talking to?" a woman vaguely sounded in the background.
"Hi Mom," Cindy said. "It's Gabriel. He's helping me with Double Singularity."
"That's nice, dear," Mrs. Jennings replied, hardly sounding like she thought it was nice. "Now go put the dishes in the dishwasher immediately or you're grounded. I'm not going to keep telling you."
"Okay, okay!" Cindy immediately gave in, though I could practically hear her roll her eyes. "Sorry Gabe, I'll be right back."
There was a rustling sound as Cindy took her headset off. I almost took off mine, too, but could I did there was more rustling.
"Gabriel, are you still there?"
In a flash I unfolded my leg and jolted upright in my chair. "Yes, Mrs. Jennings."
Mrs. Jennings sighed deeply. "Gabriel, I realise Asa is a handsome boy. I understand you like the mystery, the troubled older guy. And I'm sure you're a good kid, which is why I'm telling you: don't do this."
"W-what do you mean?" I asked, heart trying to escape my ribcage.
"Look," Mrs. Jennings said. "Asa got exposed to circumstances a guy his age -anyone- shouldn't. He's has gone through some things that need to be healed first before he can help others. He needs to focus on himself, and if you actually like him you understand that."
We were both quiet. I heard Mrs. Jennings breathe, while I held my breath.
"Do you understand?" Mrs. Jennnings broke the silence.
"I understand," I replied.
"Good. Have a nice evening, Gabriel. Enjoy your game."
Mrs. Jennings was gone, and I breathed out through my mouth.
She was wrong. I didn't like Asa because he was older, mysterious, or troubled. I liked him because... I bit my lip. My stomach twisted.
She had a point. What did I like, except his looks, the fact that he'd protected me (for and then without money), and the way he just did whatever he wanted without giving a shit.
I simultaneously knew more about Asa than most people did, and still hardly knew him because he didn't give me much chance to know him.
I didn't know the full story, but neither did his aunt and uncle.
Only Asa did and I quickly decided, despite the warnings from his aunt, it was up to him whether we'd ever go out or not.
On my way to school the next day, I looked up the Double Singularity tournament Cindy had linked me. It had a small entrance fee, and I'd be able to get there by bus without telling my parents. There would be a livestream, and likely some other small, local forms of press coverage. Enough to reach our high school.
It was perfect.
What was less perfect, however, was the commotion near the entrance of our school building.
There were tons of people there, forming a circle around what I guessed was two people in a fist fight. I slammed the breaks, bringing my bike to a halt with a loud squeak.
No way I was going near a fight, not even to see what was going on. I'd just wait until a teacher eventually decided to show up and the crowd dispersed.
Then my eyes darted to the wall near the shed, and I realised Asa's motorcycle was parked there. I promptly dropped my bike and rushed towards the crowd. Up close I recognised Camilla and Landon, and I squeezed myself in-between them.
I fully expected to see two guys punching and kicking each other in the centre. Instead, I found Rolf and, of all people, Randall.
"I'm just telling it how it is," Randall said with a lifted chin. "You have some nice tricks that work in a school tournament, but they won't work in a competition for the whole state of Georgia. You're not going to get far."
"Oh, no," Landon muttered - which really just meant normal volume for everyone else - next to me. "Everyone fucking thinks it, but why would Randall say it to his face like that?"
Because Randall was Randall. And Randall was about to get beat up.
Rolf stepped closer to Randall, who had to look up even further because he was tiny compared to Rolf.
"You saying you could do better, huh?" Rolf asked.
Randall scoffed, and I had to admire his attitude. I would've pissed my pants by now.
"I never said that," Randall said. "I just said you fail. There are even people in this school who are better than you."
"You don't let this shitstain get away with saying that do you? Kick his ass, Rolf!" someone in the crowd egged Rolf on.
"Really, huh. I didn't see anyone beat me at the school tournament," Rolf said dangerously quietly.
"You lucked out in the school tournament!" Randall held on, though he was starting to waver more and more the closer Rolf got to him.
"We need to get a teacher," Camilla whispered from my left.
"No, they won't make it here and they don't give a damn," Landon disagreed from my right. "Ugh, Gabriel, make Asa do something! He's gonna kick Randall's ass."
Asa? I looked up, and the first person whose eyes I met, at the opposite side of the circle, was Asa. He was staring at me, too.
I knew what he would say if he could talk to me. Don't let people treat you bad. Don't hide but compete. My breath came in short spurts. This was a moment in which I could make a difference. Where was all that fire from the gaming night? When I was so determined and disappointed because I couldn't compete in the end.
I shut my eyes, picturing Asa and I making out in his car.
"I'm better than you are."
I opened my eyes, only to realise not just Asa, but everyone was watching me now. Oh, shit, what had I done.
I swallowed thickly, forcing myself to look at Rolf. "I'm going to," I stammered, before losing my nerve. Could I really do this? Maybe it wasn't too late to take it back.
"Y-y-you are going t-t-to?" Rolf imitated my stuttering, mocking me before bursting out laughing along with about half of the other students. "You're gonna what? Finish a fucking sentence today?"
"I'm going to join the Georgia tournament, too," I said with quivering hands. "And if I beat you, you're going to leave me and my friends alone."
Rolf's nose wrinkled up as he regarded me with disgust and disbelief. Then his expression changed into something worse - he looked like he had an idea.
"Sure," he suddenly agreed. "But, if I win, I get your gaming computer. Not that shitty laptop. Your big one."
Panic shot through me. How did Rolf even know I had an expensive gaming pc? Landon - it had to be loudmouthed Landon who talked far too much and with too much volume so everyone in the cafeteria could 'enjoy' what he said.
My eyes darted to Asa, who was still staring intently at me. He nodded, and he was right. If I backed down now, I'd never hear the end of it. I'd already upped the stakes and placed my bet by opening my mouth.
"Fine," I said. "Deal."
Rolf's eyebrows shot up in surprise, but he recovered fast and jutted a hand in my direction.
I'd rather stick my hand in a bag of poisonous snakes than touch Rolf, but I grabbed it anyway. Rolf took the opportunity to nearly break the bones in my hands as he squeezed hard. My attempt to yank my hand back failed and tears nearly welled up from the pain.
"Everyone heard, Gay-briel," Rolf said quietly, so only I could hear it. "There's no taking this back."
Rolf finally released my throbbing hand, turned, and walked into the school building with his friend hurrying after him.