My bus stop let us off about a block away from my house, giving me the extra time I needed to clear my head and think before having to, once again, interact with people. Fortunately, I wasn't coming home to more teenage boys. Instead, it was a quiet apartment that I only had to share with my mother, a forty-five year old widow with a whole lot of love, and even more baggage.
If tragedy had favourites, my mom was on the list. I'm not exactly sure when "the good ol' days" were for her, but they definitely weren't between the years of 1969 to the present because every period of her life was marked with something tragic. Her childhood was plagued by a chaotic home, which led to a call to Child Protective Services, followed by years of hopping around from one foster home to the next.
Finally, she turned eighteen and received the gift of a fresh start at life,landing her first job at a daycare, taking out loans so she could afford an apartment to stay in while she saved up the money to start paying rent herself. Still, money was skim and she ended up buying her meals using food stamps as the bill collectors kept harassing for payments.
A few years down the line, she met my father, fresh out of college and poor as well, but they managed to unite their sufferings in the name of love, tying the knot at a simple church wedding followed by a luxurious honeymoon in the far off land of my mom's apartment.
Fast forward a few more years and, though struggling to make ends meet, they still managed to be doing better off than they started, my parents found out that they were soon going to become a family. I arrived nine months later, punctual as always. However, despite their joy, stress increased too. So much stress, in fact, that my father's heart gave out before I even learned the word 'dad'. So, life found my mom back where she started: alone and struggling. Only this time, she had another person to take care of; and that was me.
You'd think that all of that was enough emotional loss and stress to last my mom 'til she was ready to retire, but no. When I was seven, I almost caused my mother's heart to fail as I seized up and started choking for air, causing panic, fear, and as much commotion as humanly possible. So there began my journey of hospital visits as I was carted off in an ambulance to run some tests. Turns out it was only an asthma attack, but symptoms proved that I suffered from acute asthma, which meant an inhaler wasn't enough. Instead, doctors suggested medication and frequent monitoring, aka a monthly medical bill and frequent visits to the doctor. In an instant, I became, once again, a stressor and a money sucker.
So no, my mother never really did cut a break as far as life difficulties went, though she would never admit that I was any part of it. It's all just a part of life, she'd say. No use complaining about it when you could spend that energy getting past it. And so, that's what she did. I suppose that's why my mom had even made it this far in life. Far enough not only to overcome her hardships, but help others overcome theirs as a call center representative for our Community Outreach Center. It was a job that not only paid the bills and left us living comfortably, but also allowed my mom to keep extra tabs on me, just in case. But she'd never admit to that either. Still, I didn't mind. I liked having her home, especially because when I'd walk through the door I was always welcomed with a-
"Dani, is that you?"
Okay, maybe that wasn't the usual greeting I'd get but still. The point is, she was always there for me whenever I came home.
"Yeah, I'll come over in a minute," I replied, closing the door behind me.
I slipped my bag off my shoulder, placing it on the floor by my bedroom, heading to the kitchen to grab a glass of water. It was all part of my after school routine as procrastinating and medicine schedules do not go well together.
"Mom, you want anything?"
No response. She was probably taking a call, so I just grabbed an extra glass to go with mine, filling the two up with water. Recently, my doctor prescribed a new medication that was supposed to help in preventing future asthma attacks. So far, it seemed to be working, so I was very adamant on not skipping a dosage.
Opening the medicine cabinet, I took out a bottle with my name typed out across the label, followed by the word Zarifirlukast. I poured the bottle over my hand and three tablets fell into my palm. They'd all be gone by tomorrow, which only meant one thing- another doctor's appointment. I popped a single pill in my mouth and washed it down with a gulp of water. Time to tell my mom to schedule another appointment.
It's not that I hated doctors; I just hated where they worked,w hat they did for a living, and just about everything they'd said to me over the years. If you take all that away, doctors just might be cool people to be around. Unfortunately, I've never known a doctor outside of hospitals, so every time I saw one, it was because I needed more tests done, or I was sick again, or someone had died. Luckily, thanks to my new medication, I hadn't had an episode in quite some time, meaning all the doctor's visits were just routine checks. Still, even good appointments often delivered some bad news and there are only so many times someone can tell you something is wrong with you before you begin to despise the mere thought of having to do it all over again.
When I walked into my mom's room, I found her sitting at her desk with her laptop screen pulled up to a flip chart while she typed away information as it was delivered through her earpiece. I handed her a glass of water, getting her attention for only a small pause as she mouthed a "thank you" before returning to her call.
"Not a problem, Ms. Davies. You should be hearing from someone within the next couple days. Yes. Of course, anytime. Have a great day. Okay, goodbye now."
As I sat down on the edge of her bed, I watched as my mom took out her earpiece and pushed the top of her laptop screen down, turning her attention to me.
"Hey, baby, how was school? Were your teachers nice? Did you meet anyone new?"
If my mom was anything, she was enthusiastic. Every day, without fail, I'd come home from school and she was immediately ready with a list of questions on just about every aspect of the day. I had to admit, some days it was overwhelming, but I couldn't let it get to me too much. I mean, at least she cared to ask; not every kid could say that about their parents.
"Yeah, I did, actually. This new kid moved to town from Detroit. Apparently he doesn't do much of staying in one place for long."
My mom just kept nodding her head, looking at me with these eager eyes that begged me to continue.
"So yeah, he's my partner in Intercultural Communications. I'm not really sure how much partner work we'll be doing though since I already finished the project for the year. I guess there'll be some smaller stuff we'll have to do, but that won't take up too much time so that's good."
A look of disapproval took to my mom's face as I finished talking.
"What?" I snapped, getting defensive before she even said anything. But maybe that's because I already knew what she was going to say, having been given this lecture a million times already.
"You can't push someone anyway before you even gave him a chance to do the right thing. You need to have friends in your life, Dani. Maybe this guy could be one of them."
Instead of making a rebuttal, I just gave my mom a long stare filled with incredulity with one eyebrow raised.
"Dani, don't give me that look. You can't continue to live your life denying yourself the chance for someone to draw close to you every time the opportunity arises. It's not healthy."
There she goes again, telling me what's healthy and what's not. clearly she doesn't seem to realize that I'm not exactly the healthiest kid to begin with.
"Speaking of health, I need you to make another appointment with Dr. Sullivan. My prescription is just about out."
"Actually," my mom began, spinning around in her chair to pick up a sticky note that was lying on her desk, "Dr. Sullivan beat you to it. He wants to see you tomorrow for another routine check. He needs updates on some of the tests and he wants to check in one you with how the medicine is going."
She hands me the note with the room number and time listed on it. "1:30? So you're picking me up from school early?"
"Yes, ma'am. I'll call the school tomorrow morning to let them go. You aren't missing any important classes, are you?"
I smile as I get off the bed, taking my glass of water with me as I let my victory be made known. "Oh, nothing too important. Just Intercultural Communications. Thanks, Mom!"
"Ugh, Dani c'mon, that's not fair," I heard my mom groan from her room. But I was already gone and the appointment was already made. For the first time in my life, I was actually grateful due to a doctor's appointment. Looks like avoiding Asher was going to be easier than I thought.