CHAPTER FIFTY TWO- Mr Sarcastic.
I froze and mentally cursed myself for not locking that door. He could have called, text me, something to warn me that he was coming. I had a pretty terrible feeling about this. I no way did see this coming; it seems as if every time something goes right, Niall and I finally think we’re alone; we’re not. There’s always someone to cockblock, to stir things up, make things awkward, something always happens. For a moment it seemed as if everything just stopped – obviously since a guy had just walked into my apartment – Niall encircled an arm around my waist and used his other hand to press his fingers against my inner thigh make shots of crave flood me. Which at this moment, really was not very helpful. I still wasn’t looking as my head buried in Niall’s shoulder and he was probably very confused –but Niall I could explain to – Justin, not so much, not right now anyway; with Niall here and everything. In a way I was kind of mad at Justin; this was mine and Niall’s time. And surely if I was home and wasn’t opening the door – it should have been clear I wasn’t in the mood to socialise, I was, but only with Niall. I could hear nothing and for a moment I wondered if Justin was still there but then I felt Niall leant down his lips against my ear as he held my hair away from it.
“Is that him?”
He asked in one of the quietest whispers I’d probably ever head him use, so much so that I almost didn’t hear it so I was content that Justin hadn’t. But that didn’t make this situation any better. To say that Justin was pissed off when he found out that Niall had cheated on me was a complete understatement. I’d warned him many times that it was between Niall and I and that he wasn’t to get involved, but not everyone listens. I decided to play this cool and decided that to go off at Justin in front of Niall would not exactly be the best idea since I had told Niall that he was my best friend. I had coincidentally left out the part about him wanting to ‘give the major shit’ to Niall after what he did, and I wasn’t planning on adding it in now, or ever. And I hoped Justin wasn’t planning to either. But I suppose like a lot of things, only time will tell.
“Uh huh.”
I breathed and Niall took a few seconds to contemplate this, I lifted my head up from his shoulder and instantly sprung my gaze in Justin’s direction who was just kind of stood by the door with his hands in his pockets giving me an unreadable look. I forced a small smile but I received nothing but an unchanged and impassive expression back, figures, Justin. I was about to ask him why he was here but it seemed as if Niall was going to make an effort to be nice, considering he had misconnected majorly my relationship with Justin. He couldn’t of walked in at a worse time though – not to mention we were both in nothing but underwear – all I had on to cover up was a loose t-shirt but my bottom half – exposed. This is bad.
“Hi, I’m Niall!” Niall greeted Justin brightly and with that infamous smile of his, I said nothing as I glared at Justin but he was keen to just glare back at me. “You must be Justin, right?”
Niall continued to smile as he fired this question when he didn’t get a reply the first time. I almost slapped a palm to my forehead but I refrained. Cool and calm Ashley, cool and calm.
“I know who you are.”
Justin replied flatly sending a brief impassive glance at Niall. Clearly slightly bewildered by Justin’s flat and emotionless speech and glares Niall let his smile slowly sink and bit his lip. I instantly felt defensive and wanted to tell Justin to be nicer to Niall, since Niall was being nice to him it would only be fair to return the favour, but no, I couldn’t cause a scene in front of Niall, I just couldn’t. I racked my brains for something to say as they were both now looking at me expectantly waiting for me to make an action, say something, motion something, just do anything.
“Well,” I said in an octave that I hoped was cheery since now I was not feeling cheery at all, couldn’t have picked a better time. “Err, I think we should go and get err dressed Niall. Have a seat Justin, we’ll just um, be right back!”
I said a little too brightly and happily. Justin didn’t even react to my attempt to sweeten things up a bit and stared back at us raising his eye-brows as if right now something spectacular should happen, and when it didn’t I jumped up grabbing Niall’s hand and slightly violently tugging him along behind me to my room without sparing Justin another glance.
“What’s his problem?”
Niall muttered as soon as I closed the door behind us. I heaved a sigh and ran a hand through my hair pushing it off from my face while Niall looked at me expectantly. You could tell he was annoyed that he had been nice to Justin and received nothing but bluntness and flat looks in return, so was I, wait a go to make things better Justin. For a second Niall and I just looked at each other as I turned to face him, however much I loved Justin as a friend I was on Niall’s side, since he had done nothing to Justin. I just hoped it didn’t come to taking sides I sighed again and gave Niall an apologetic look before sauntering slowly forwards and sliding my arms around his waist, this time he sighed and didn’t smile but in response he snaked his around my waist too. His hands rested idly in the small of my back lifting up the end of my top slightly so his skin was in close contact with mine. Somehow skin to skin contact just felt better, nicer, more intimate. But now really wasn’t the time to be thinking about that.
“Don’t listen to him. He’s just…Being a dick.”
I assured him but Niall didn’t look convinced and furrowed his brow at me in that confused fashion that is undeniably adorable but I had to stop concentrating on these things when Justin was in the living room waiting for…I actually didn’t know what he was waiting for. Considering he hadn’t even told me he was coming over, normally this I wouldn’t have minded, if he had told me in advance but he hadn’t and the fact that Niall was here just complicated things practically into oblivion. And the fact that Justin wasn’t appearing to be nice to Niall – or me – either really just meant that this was doomed for a bad ending.
“I was being nice though,” Niall frowned, I continued with my apologetic look. “You heard, I was being nice, right?”
He concerned. He was right, he was being nice and why Justin couldn’t at least pretend to return the favour was beyond me, it’s not hard to at least fake a friendship.
“I know you were,” I assured him extending up on my tiptoes and wrapping my arms around his neck but he just continued to frown, Niall never did understand nor liked it when he was nice to someone and they were completely the opposite back. I could relate. “It’s not your fault.”
I attempted to assure him that it was not his wrong doing – as with Niall, he always thought it was – and the majority of the time it wasn’t. When he didn’t say anything I slipped my lips onto his, he was hesitant at first but after a second or so he kissed me back his hands working their way underneath my top. I smiled into the kiss, it had been too long since we’d been able to do this often and even though I knew we were supposed to be getting dressed and going back out there this seemed like a much better activity.
“I’ve missed you, and this, so much.”
Niall whispered against my lips a quaint muffle outputted my mouth against his as he spoke these words. I smiled and closed my eyes for a few seconds willing that maybe, just maybe, Justin could leave this for another time. Because really, right now, I was craving a lot more than just a few heated kisses; but I knew that Justin was waiting and that he probably was going to be until he had caused some kind of drama or stress, probably both. I opened my eyes again instantly meeting them with his as I allowed myself to immerse in the endless pools of blue, I don’t think I’ll ever get over how captivating they are. They really had me from the moment I met him. I remember so clearly thinking they were the type of eyes that could make girls melt – I was right.
The reality was that I had missed him, and this, too. A lot. And I always did, he has my heart, of course he does. But he has everything else as well. And sometimes it makes me kind of hopeless that I can’t seem to live without him but in the same way it’s beautiful too, it’s not just my heart he possesses of, it’s everything that’s ever keeping me alive. It’s dramatic to say so, but it’s also true. And there’s nothing wrong within the truth, sometimes it’s ugly, and sometimes it’s beautiful. But it is what is and nobody can change that, you can tweak it and lie over it but it’ll always still be there lingering, and forever haunting the lie that was supposed to conceal it.
“I’ve missed you too, and this, of course.”
I grinned and he returned it, I would never get tired of that smile, of this boy. Leaning down he covered my lips with his again in a soft and slow kiss. However much I wanted to carry on and let this progress further I forced myself to pull away, knowing all too well we’d already been in here for too long.
“Come on Nialler, we’ve gotta get dressed…We’ll continue this later.”
I winked letting myself fall to my normal height and prying his hands from me as I slid open the nearest drawer hearing the wood to wood contact always made me shiver, I hated that sound. Niall just stood there watching me with a half smug and half slightly bewildered look on his face. I was making a grab for some fresh underwear from the bottom of the drawer when he wrapped his arms around me again.
“You can’t say you’ve missed me and then pull away…”
He pouted resting his chin over my shoulder and slowly working his fingers around my hips and underneath my top. I shivered with the impure and cheeky action his fingers were inflicting onto my bare stomach sending ripples of shock and emotion through me. They were so small, like testing a pen for the right ink, small and unimportant movements barely leaving a mark but at the same it’s so permanent, so scarring, but in a good way. You can’t erase it and you can’t forget it, it’s etched into you for life, you can repeat it but you can’t re-create it, it’s the most contrasting thing.
“But I just did…”
I breathed turning my neck to face him a smug smile playing across my lips while he just continued to frown.
“Do we have to get dressed? I much prefer you like this…”
He breathed onto my neck as he slowly creeped his hand further up my top. I rolled my eyes trying to give him a scolding look but I seemed to be unable to produce one, but maybe that was nothing new.
“Yes…Justin’s waiting out there you know.”
I frowned and Niall considered this for a moment.
“I was nice though and he wasn’t nice back.”
Niall whined and I sighed. I knew this, this was completely true but I really didn’t want to have to be the one to witness a Niall-Justin argument, not just today, anytime. I wanted them to get along, and it seemed as if Niall was prepared to do that but Justin still wouldn’t let what happened months ago go, and if I had, why couldn’t he?
“I know. I’m sorry.”
I whispered against his mouth, he just shook his head melting his lips onto mine instead. I definitely felt bad about Justin acting like this, and I also felt extremely defensive of Niall. The past is the past, I’ve moved on, accepted his a million and one apologies and I’ve got over it now and I’m more than just happy that I’m back with Niall (and this time I intend it to be for a long time) so why can’t Justin just be happy for me?
“It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault. You know I understand if he doesn’t like me and all, I mean, I have been a complete dick.”
Niall shrugged and I frowned now spinning around to face him.
“No, you haven’t. And stop saying you have because you haven’t. Like I said, I’m over it now. It’s done and it’s in the past. If I can forget about it and move on then everyone should be able to. I love you…”
I breathed wrapping my arms around his neck again. And I meant every single word of that, it was irrelevant to me now. It’s not as if I haven’t screwed up before, and besides, I couldn’t expect him to never make any mistakes, could I? I’m not that selfish, and if he can forgive me for what I did that cold September night than I’m pretty damn sure I can and have forgiven him for that little incident that is now months back.
“I love you too beautiful.”
He breathed pressing a kiss to my forehead before hugging me into his chest. I simultaneously slid my arms around his waist hugging him tighter, god I had missed him.
-
“So,” I started awkwardly as I carefully sat down next to Niall and he simultaneously placed an arm around me forcing me to shift that little bit closer to him. The leather sofa pressed against my bare legs the materiel rubbing it into a saw state for a few seconds as I pried it away shuffling next to him so my knee was touching his. We had been back in the same room as Justin for a mere half a minute and I was already feeling the awkwardness haunting the atmosphere, my actions. Niall was remaining calm, like this was his every day and he kept on giving small smiles at Justin. But in his eyes, he probably had to get on the right side of him, since I dropped in the fact yesterday that Justin is my best friend in New York. Any polite person would have left straight away if they walked in to see what Justin saw when he came in. I mean, you wouldn’t just stand there and stare if you had just walked in a prominent lacking in clothing couple, bodies tangled, lips centre metres away. You just wouldn’t. Or at least I wouldn’t, I’d be hasty to apologise and then leave with a comment along the lines of ‘Sorry, I’ll just you two alone then.’ But no, he had to walk straight in and be rude when Niall was nice and give me flat looks when I forced smiles. But nonetheless I was determined to not spark an argument with him in front of Niall because then Niall would get involved, sticking up for me and everything would just fall apart. So I smiled again – receiving another flat look back – and then I expanded on my sentence, feeling that the ‘so’ I had begun with had been lingering for a bit too long now. “Any-Any reason you um came over?”
I questioned already feeling the tension rising in the room. Niall shifted in his seat slightly reaching his free hand over and placing it on my knee. I didn’t react and just continued to smile. I watched as Justin’s eyes flickered to his hand on my knee for a moment and then he shot his gaze back up to mine and raised his eye-brows. I let my smile fade slightly, there was only so many times I would try if I didn’t receive anything nice back, and right now, Justin was running out of chances.
“I mean, we don’t mind, at all. It was kind of an awkward time though man.”
Niall chimed in and I tensed beside him, he must have felt it because he began to rub his hand over my knee tracing small circles in a soothing manner. He still didn’t look at me as he continued to smile at Justin, but Justin was still forcing that flat expression. Suddenly he made a movement and leant forward resting his elbows on his knees. I couldn’t deny that Justin was a fairly good looking guy, obviously I only had eyes for Niall, but I couldn’t help but picture girl’s disappointment when he told them he was gay. But nonetheless a look like that isn’t attractive on anyone.
“We?” Justin repeated sceptically. I let my smile drop and gave him a look of warning but he either didn’t catch it or ignored it altogether. “So you live here now or something?”
He clarified keeping his eye-brows raised the whole time. Niall furrowed his brow and licked his lower lip, why couldn’t Justin just be nice? Niall was. At this thought I reached over and placed my hand on Niall’s knee silently telling him to not worry and just not react and telling Justin that I was happy with Niall and that if an argument was to be sparked – however much I didn’t want to take sides – I was on Niall’s.
“No, I was just…I was just saying man. Didn’t mean nothin’ by it.”
Niall stammered and I took this as my opportunity to speak. Justin opened his mouth to speak again but I decided to cut him off.
“Justin just leave it. You wanna answer my first question or…”
Beside me Niall shifted a bit again and squeezed my shoulder with the arm that was draped around me. I rubbed his knee trying not to smirk or smile at the little ways we found to endure in PDA without being too dramatic with people around. Obviously the innocent kind wasn’t mine and Niall’s favourite but at times like this it was necessary. After all, we had taken half an hour to ‘get dressed’ after a rather heated make out sesh. Again, Justin’s glance shifted to my hand on Niall’s knee but he quickly lifted it to meet him and bit his lip.
“Fine,” He mumbled. “I just came to see if you were okay since you weren’t answering my calls or texts.”
Really? He sounds like Niall. I raised my eye-brows and slid my phone from my pocket – sure enough – five missed calls and three texts – whoops.
“Well, I’m fine. I was busy.”
I informed him with a curt nod in which he didn’t nothing to.
“Mm, I bet you were.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
I snapped a little more assertive than intended but maybe he deserved it. Wait a go for making a good impression on Niall. Niall must be wondering what I consider a friend now, let alone a best friend.
“Nothing. It’s meant to mean nothing. Just like honesty and loyalty seems to now.”
He said this at the exact moment he shot practically a death glare at Niall, this put me over the edge. I felt Niall snap behind me and he bit his lip tightening his arm around me, I could practically feel his guilt seeping out of him again now – I didn’t want him to feel guilty – it’s over now.
“Justin that’s not fair. You know that’s not fair.”
He shrugged and I really felt the anger boiling up inside of me now. What had happened between Niall and I was nothing to do with him, just because I had told him about him it didn’t mean that he take action against it, that was my job and only my job.
“Ashley it’s oka-“
“No Niall it’s not okay. Justin, you know that wasn’t fair. Come on, just be-“
“I’ll leave you two alone. Bye Ashley…Niall.”
He said Niall’s name with a curt head nod and a slight grimace as he got up – already halfway across the room by the time he finished his sentence – Niall was about to say something but then he slammed the door and I could already hear the ding of the lift signalling the doors must have shut. For a moment Niall and I just sat there completely unmoving and silent. And then he sighed shifting in his seat again he squeeze my shoulder and leaned to the left pressing a kiss onto my temple.
“Is he always like that?”
He inquired and I looked up at him with slightly wide eyes. I could practically feel the remorse filling them. And I could also feel the guilt Justin had just recreated within him. Which I, or Niall really couldn’t use. I was ready a long time ago to move on from that one heart-breaking night and so was Niall, so why wasn’t everybody else? It should only be between Niall and I and everyone is butting in, always having something to say, some opinion to share that just throws one of us off course again. And to be honest I’m getting a bit sick of it, so maybe it’s just time to really establish with people that what goes on between me and Niall stays between me and Niall and we don’t want everyone else to get involved, because really, it only makes things worse.
“No, I’m sorry. That wasn’t fair for him to drop that on you like that. He…He says exactly what he’s thinking, obviously it didn’t really work very well this time.”
I apologised resting my head on his shoulder and closing my eyes for a few seconds. His fingers stroked my hair in simple and smooth motions from about halfway back. I loved it when he did that, it gave me a real feeling of relaxation, just of feeling at home. Even if this had never really felt like home to me I felt a lot closer to it with him here, just spending time with me, even if we were doing nothing but talking, cuddling and kissing, that was what I enjoyed doing with Niall. Because sometimes the simpler things can be the most enjoyable, the most entertaining, especially if they’re with the right people. And I’m pretty damn sure Niall’s the right person.
Niall shrugged and then dropped a kiss onto my temple. I just kept my head resting on his shoulder. Right now, I was more annoyed with Justin for the way he just acted than I was when I found out about Niall’s mistake three months ago. Maybe it was because I could never be mad at Niall, just disappointed and hurt, but either way, there was no need for him to act like that. He could quite clearly see that Niall and I were on good terms again and I had forgiven him so why did that mean he should continue to hold a cold-hearted grudge towards Niall? It didn’t. This was the first time Justin had met Niall and he acted like that? Some people I didn’t understand. He must have had his reasons though, and I was going to make a point to find out what they were, but for now, I had some lost time to make up for with my Nialler.
“It’s okay. I kind of deserved it.”
He murmured and now I looked up at him reluctantly lifting my head from his shoulder – which was very comfortable – I climbed onto his lap wiggling around a bit until I got comfortable and then frowning at his innocent expression.
“No, you didn’t. The only people that should be able to talk and comment on it like that is me and you, nobody else. And I don’t even want to talk about it anymore. I just want to move on, and we had, until he had to come and be all Mr Sarcastic.”
I snapped screwing my nose up as I said the last part. For a moment Niall just stared back at me his facial expression completely blank. His mouth was slightly agape and then he moved his glance to the floor licking his lips once and then he lifted it back to mine.
“A-Ash don’t be so harsh. Maybe he had a reason to…or something.”
I shook my head creasing my brow in frustration.
“No, he had no reason to. He was just being a dick. It’s nothing to do with him what happened months ago between us; it’s nobody’s business but ours. I’m not…I’m not saying that nobody but us can know because obviously that’s a little too late now, but I just wish everyone would realise they don’t need to share their opinions, because most likely, I don’t want to hear them.”
He just looked at me taking this all in, I think he was surprised. To him, I had never been this blunt before, this open, this bitchy. I didn’t like being a bitch but I had almost managed to kick my habit of being nice to people who didn’t deserve it. It wasn’t that I despised this quality that I used to endure in so often, but it didn’t exactly help a lot either. It was more of a meet in the middle thing now, if someone had something to say I was willing to listen, but if they crossed the line then I’d make sure to let them know too.
“Y-You…You’ve changed, you know.”
I, knew this. He, was just finding this all out for himself, but I didn’t know in what sense he meant this, thankfully he was quick to expand on it,
“In a good way though. You’re less lenient now, and I like it like this. This I-don’t-take-no-crap thing, you’re learning, awh, I’m proud.”
He beamed, I smiled back at him relieved that he liked the new me as much as I did. I was still my slightly sensible, organised and sometimes shy self, but I had changed a lot of things on both the inside and the outside and I felt good about it, I really did. And I was glad he felt good about it too.
“Well I’m glad,” I replied and he just continued to smile at me. “You haven’t changed, which is good, because you shouldn’t ever because I love you.”
I giggled, still smiling that breath-taking smile that got me every time he leant his forehead against mine brushing hair from my eyes.
“I love you too, and you should stay like this. Because this is more like the girl you were when I first met you, and you know what? That’s the girl I fell in love with and always will be.”
I beamed at this. Even though in silence, I’d be striving for a long time to be that girl again. That girl who was finally finding herself at peace with her life and then it only getting better after meeting Niall. That girl who fell in love fast and hard with the cute blonde boy who just so happened to working on a record deal with her sister, that boy who sat with me on the beach the first day I met him and barely even knew his name. He sat with me and listened, genuinely listened, when I told my secrets to this stranger that I hadn’t even told to anyone. That boy who barely even knew me sat with me when I didn’t want to go in the water and held me as I cried, slept on the sofa with me because I asked him to so he didn’t have to sleep on the floor, that boy who strived to protect me from anything and anyone and saved me so many times from trouble I landed myself in. And I was that girl who was just the older unimportant sister to Ellie Dawson – their music collaborator – I was only there because Mum wasn’t home that night. But to him I was so much more than that than the thing on the side of Ellie Dawson, and sometimes – before we started dating – he’d pay more attention to me than he would her. That boy who kissed me that night when we all went to the point underneath the stars and told me I looked, nice, pretty and that I was talented when I hadn’t even known him for twenty four hours. A lot can happen in two years, and even though it’s had it’s major ups and downs; this relationship is the most beautiful thing I ever have and probably ever will experience.
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A/N.
this is shorteerrr but oh well
cus the next chapter is Louis' POV;)
ughh it's raining and blowing a gale outisde like what is this it's still supposed to be august..it's really hard to write a summer's day scene when all you can hear is rain against the window you know haha.
guess whaat?
I did an interview for the 100 interviews from 100 wattpad authros book;D yo should go check it okay;) it's about just writing, and Picture This and stuff okkkk
can I just say that I kind of wish twitter was never invented. Like seriously it causes so much freaking drama, this is why I never had it before. It's not like I really go on a lot, it's just uuggh hate you. Have you seen Plastic Bieber's tweets lately? Everything is so fake I don't even believe she's in rehab. 'Update: Jessica has checked herself into rehab. Please send her your prayers and positive energy at this time.' yeah becuase she's put so much positive energy into us. tbh though if nobody retaliated and just left her alone she would stop because she has no entertainment without everyone tweeting her. anywaay I'm not going to waste my typing time on thattt
Louis' POV tomorrow!
keep on sneding me any ideas at all for the threeqel okay bitches byee
and plus; enjoy Niall looking hot in a blazer love you
-Emily.