"Should all people be vegetarians?"
Tyler stood at the front of the classroom, reading out a debate topic from his laptop screen. He was president, and probably the most passionate member. Apart from going to parties and dating girls, Tyler had something else to his name - running the debate club and running it pretty well.
Peter sat at one of the desks towards the back, watching as everyone on the team lead a discussion.
He thought about all the relationships he still had in his life and the people that cared about him. Ned was out of the picture. Maya had been sending him texts for the past three days, begging for him to come to her house to spend more time with her. MJ had been 'sick' and hadn't shown up to school for the past week; Peter had sent her several messages and called her several times but she hadn't answered. He couldn't quite work out why she was so upset that night at her house, why she felt the need to be absent all the time, and why she wouldn't talk to him.
At least something was different about the way people treated him now. He actually wasn't invisible anymore. He thought how ridiculous it was that the only way to get people's attention these days was by going around sleeping with people.
Maybe Ned was right. Maybe Peter did really only care about his reputation. After all, he couldn't really figure out what got into him that night he had sex with Maya. Maybe he was just tired of never having an experience everyone else was talking about. Maybe he just wanted to know what it was like. Either way, he still couldn't believe that he was now no longer a virgin.
"Peter?" Tyler narrowed his eyes at him from the front of the classroom. "What do you think?"
"Um." Peter stammered snapping out of his thoughts once again. "My aunt was vegetarian for a whole year and concluded that she kind of hated the whole experience, so..."
Tyler nodded at Peter and continued to write stuff down on his laptop. Peter examined him and wondered how a person could be so different from debate club and basically any other social setting. He was wearing a checkered shirt and slacks, which made him look like a teacher.
"We've got a competition at Boston this weekend." Tyler continued, folding his arms and leaning against the front desk in true teacher style. "We're gonna be the opposition on the topic which isn't actually that hard because you know...free will and all that shit."
A few people started to laugh but Peter didn't find anything Tyler was saying particularly funny. In fact, all he could think about was how much he wanted to talk to MJ.
"I've divided the team into pairs, so you guys can write your speeches. The best three will speak at the competition. I need you guys to actually make this good because Westriver High are our biggest rivals and they're gonna be against us."
Peter never really enjoyed debate meets because of how competitive the atmosphere always got. He knew that this trip might just be another one from hell.
"Peter...you're with MJ, so I guess you need to sort out what you're doing outside of class." Tyler said, beginning to read out the list of pairs.
What? Peter thought.
Why had Tyler put him with MJ? He couldn't decide if he was happy to have an excuse to talk to her and find out what the hell was going on with her, or if he was anxious that he had to write a speech with her and present it to the entire debate team.
As Tyler finished reading out the list of names, the door opened and Flash walked in, followed by Maya. Peter was surprised and disappointed at the same time to see her. He could also smell her perfume strongly on her as she wrapped her arms around him, kissed him quickly on the cheek and took her seat on the desk right beside him.
"Woah, what are you guys doing here?" a girl on the team said.
Flash was chewing gum and had already propped his legs up on the desk in front of him, scrolling through his phone and showing no sign of enthusiasm whatsoever.
"We're here because we need to do more high school activities..m" Flash said, nodding at Maya. "It was either this or mad science, and I do not wanna be around those fuckers. Also, Tyler said we could join."
"I'm actually kinda excited to join." Maya added looking at Peter with her bright blue eyes.
She was pretty, but he kind of just wanted her to leave him alone.
"And I get to spend more time with Peter."
Peter sighed heavily, trying not to show that he was incredibly irritated by her. He was now glad that he'd been paired with MJ and not forced to spend the next weekend kissing Maya's ass to maintain his reputation.
As the rest of the classroom dispersed into various conversations, Maya grabbed Peter's hand from her desk.
"Peter, is everything okay with you?" She said, playing with his fingers.
He sighed again, realizing that his facial expression was blank, and that all he wanted to do was go home.
"I'm fine." he said, finally looking at her. "I'm just...I have to work on my speech with MJ so I can't come over."
Maya flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. "So you mean you can't come over again? This time, because of MJ. You're actually standing me up for MJ?"
"I'm not standing you up Maya, I have to work on the speech." Peter snapped back, failing to hide his annoyance any longer.
"Okay, I get it." Maya said, releasing her hand from his. "You're kinda hot when you get mad in a way. I'll let it go this time."
Peter wanted to roll his eyes so bad.
He stared at the clock in front of him. Lunch break had already begun, which meant that he was going to have to sit with Maya and the rest of the seniors. He'd been doing that every day for the past week but never encountered MJ, who was on a hiatus from school. It was the same old conversation every time about who's going to what party and who's screwing who.
He always just sat next to Maya and listened to her occasionally tune in and out. Liz actually started talking to him too, but Peter normally wasn't really into it. After all, she'd kinda treated him like trash before the whole Maya thing.
On the senior table today, however, there was a slightly different conversation. Flash had sat down with them today and was spouting bullshit about his private Instagram account, and the fight he had with Andrew, who thankfully was not there this time.
"Guys, Andrew is literally in denial." Flash said, biting into an apple. "He leaves all these retarded comments on my page. He's psychotic."
"Why's he psychotic?" Liz said, who was sat next to him.
She didn't have a lunch tray in front of her but had a salad that she'd brought in from home instead. Peter previously heard her mention that school food was kinda shit and she didn't want to put any of that garbage into her body.
He pictured MJ in his head, who would grab a plate of chips and a burger without caring.
"He's defending MJ when everyone knows that she's a slut." Flash said, looking around the table for everyone's approval. Peter didn't make eye contact with him.
"How's she a slut though?" Liz said, sipping her Fiji water. "She's only had sex like once?"
"I heard she's been with five other guys." Emily said.
"Really?" Brian, the quarterback, asked.
"Yeah." Emily replied. "She's really got around."
Peter was really confused. These were the same group of people who acted like they were all friends, but constantly talked behind each other's backs and spread rumours.
He also couldn't believe the kind of things they were saying about MJ. Peter knew for a fact that she wasn't a slut - not that anyone should be going around calling people sluts anyway.
He wanted to say something to Flash, but didn't want to start any unnecessary drama.
"Well MJ's my friend so I don't wanna say anything."Liz said.
"Really?" Brian smirked. "Where do you know her from?"
"My Dad and her Dad are good friends." Liz replied, staring into Brian's soul, before she took a big bite of her salad.
Brian just bit his lip, before unlocking his phone again.
Peter was really frustrated now. How could she sit there and say she was MJ's friend, when she sat there and listened to other people say shit about her?
He had to say something.
"Are you really her friend though, Liz?" Peter said, frowning.
Liz looked at him, confused. She was sat at the other side of the table and looked genuinely shocked that he was even speaking to her.
"I am her friend, Peter." Liz said, in a tone that was patronizing as hell. "I don't even know why you care so much, anyway."
Maya shifted uncomfortably next to him. Peter knew that the conversation made her unsettled. She hated when he brought MJ up.
"If you're her friend, why aren't you defending her?" Peter continued.
"I said I didn't want to say anything." Liz retorted, her tone more angered now.
"It's not the same as defending her though." he replied.
"Chill the fuck out Peter," Flash said, cutting into the conversation. "It doesn't matter who's her friend. She's a slut. Facts."
Liz sighed and sipped more of her Fiji water.
Peter wanted to scream in her face. She was bold enough to say she was MJ's friend, but too much of a coward to defend her.
"Another fact is that you're a certified asshole, Flash, but I guess we probably won't agree on that either." Peter said, looking at him and biting into his sandwich.
His heart was being fast now. He wanted to take back what he said immediately he said it, but was relieved when half of the table started laughing, including Liz.
"Alright guys, laugh at me all you want." Flash said. "I know you'll all still be following my page."
"Shouldn't you take down the photos of MJ?" Emily said. "If one of the teachers finds out, we'll all be in deep shit."
"Well I didn't take them, Tyler did." Flash said, before grabbing his tray and standing up.
"I'll see you guys tomorrow."
Tyler? Peter thought. He wondered why the hell Tyler was taking pictures of MJ at the party, and why they got around to Flash.
When classes were over, Maya stopped Peter again before he was about to head home.
"Peter." she said, grabbing his arm. "Can you just come over here and talk to me, instead of running away again?"
Peter looked at her. She was so hot. At least that's what he would have thought a month ago.
He wondered why he wasn't thankful that she hung around him, and actually enjoyed his company. Her body made him want to rip her clothes off. But he didn't really want her.
Maya put her arms around his neck.
"What was up today with you and Flash?" She said, lowering her voice. "He can be a dick and everything but I just don't know why you were so upset about the whole MJ thing. I thought you hated her."
"I guess I don't really hate her." Peter said. "I mean, I have to get over it...you know...before the debate comp."
"Can you at least make out with me before you go?" Maya said, smiling at him.
Without thinking, Peter leant in to kiss her. She tasted like mint, and the blueberry lip balm she was wearing. She kissed him back, and Peter couldn't help thinking that they were in plain view of other people. In that moment, he wanted to push her back against the wall and do everything that they did that night all over again.
But all he could think about was MJ, and how badly he wanted to talk to her.
You're only with her for sex, Peter.
He broke away from the kiss, his heart rate starting to rise again.
"Maya...I can't." he started. "I can't keep doing this."
"Doing what?" Maya said, now removing her hands from his neck.
"What we did was nice and everything, but I can't do this anymore. Like all this PDA, and acting like we're boyfriend and girlfriend." Peter said.
He didn't know why his heart was beating even faster now.
Maya looked at him, completely stricken with disappointment.
"Are you kidding me?" She said, quietly. "You literally just kissed me."
"I have to go." Peter replied. "I'm sorry."
"Are you saying this because of MJ?" Maya said angrily.
Peter couldn't think of anything else to say.
Maya rolled her eyes before pushing past him and walking away.
And Peter didn't particularly care.
The bus ride to Boston had made Peter want to projectile vomit. He never dealt well with travel sickness, and this trip wasn't any different. He had no one to sit next to, because Maya was sitting next to Flash, and he felt like no one else on the debate team was worthy of his time.
Except MJ, of course. They'd glanced at each other before she got on the bus, but she had just sat down next to another girl, and not acknowledged Peter any further.
He was really worried about the speech they had to do together now. They hadn't even started working on it. Peter had shown up at MJ's house twice, but she wasn't there. Not to mention her ignoring all his texts and calls.
He just wanted to talk, to her, but felt like he could never get her alone. They were stopping off at a hotel later that evening, and he thought about going to her room, but Mrs Gale, who was supervising the trip, had warned everyone over and over again that they were not allowed to be in each other's rooms.
Peter decided to text her again to see if she would reply.
'We really need to work on the speech later' he texted.
She was sitting behind him on the bus, and he didn't want to look over to check if she was on her phone.
But to his surprise, she replied almost instantly.
'Yeah, we do.'
Peter sighed in relief. He wanted to text back so many things. Like to ask if she was feeling better, or how the hell she was coping with the way people talked about her online, and tell her that he cared about her and didn't know why she was ignoring him.
But he didn't ask her any of those things.
'I'm sure we'll find some time tomorrow'
he texted.
'Sounds good' she replied.
Peter's brain was doing backflips. Was she being sarcastic, or did she genuinely want to meet up with him to get this thing finished? He knew he had to stop overthinking a two-worded text.
By the time they had finally stopped over at the hotel, it was dark, and Peter truly felt like he wanted to vomit. May had packed him some snacks but the last thing he wanted to do was eat anything.
He didn't get a chance to talk to MJ before they all had to go to their rooms. He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling and trying to get over how sick he was feeling.
The hotel luckily had WiFi, so he FaceTimed May before going to bed. He was about to drift off to sleep when someone knocked on his hotel door quietly.
In just his boxers, he went to answer it - his whole soul wanted it to be MJ.
But it wasn't. It was Tyler, and he was all dressed up as if he was going out.
"Peter." Tyler whispered. "We're all sneaking out to go clubbing. Get your clothes on and let's go."
"What?" Peter replied, squinting from the contrast between the darkness of his room and the bright light in the corridor.
"Everyone's going clubbing, so let's go. Be very quiet though, and don't blow it for everyone else. Meet us round the back."
Peter sighed heavily. The last thing he wanted to do right now was go clubbing. He'd been up late at night recently studying for his Physics mid-term, which was in a couple days, and his bed was practically calling him.
But Peter didn't want to be the party pooper, so he threw on a shirt and jeans and snuck out of the hotel.
Everyone on the team had congregated at the back entrance and Tyler was dictating stuff to them. He spotted MJ who was wearing black leggings and an oversized Adidas hoodie. She didn't look like she wanted to go anywhere either.
"Everyone, meet back here at 4am." Tyler said, quietly. They're a couple of good clubs round there and I've got my fake ID so I guess this is worth a try. Don't get too wasted though, so Gale doesn't suspect anything. And be quiet on the way back in. If you Juniors get us in trouble, you'll all be paying for it on Monday."
As everyone started to disappear into different directions, Peter finally went over to MJ.
"Are you going clubbing?" He said, stopping her in her tracks.
"Does it look like I'm going clubbing?" She replied, looking at him. Her hair was blowing in the wind and she had her hands in the pocket of her hoodie.
"No, it doesn't." Peter said, looking at her intently. "So if you don't mind, we could go to that twenty-four hour pancake place and write our fucking speech."
"The one we have to finish by tomorrow that has to be two thousand words long?" MJ laughed.
"Yeah, that one." Peter laughed too.
"It might help to do that...we could go there..." MJ said sarcastically.
Peter looked up the pancake place on Google Maps and the next eighteen minutes consisted of Peter trying to navigate their way there, and MJ telling Peter how much he sucked at navigation, and Peter taking the wrong turn, and MJ grabbing his phone and leading the way instead.
"At last." MJ said, as they both entered, relieved by the warmth inside. It smelt so good and Peter realized again how lightheaded he was and how he should have probably just eaten May's snacks.
They both went to the counter to order their pancakes, and then sat down in a corner that had two large armchairs facing each other with a table in between. Peter pulled out his laptop out of his bag and sighed. It was now one o'clock in the morning, and he could tell that they were both not going to get any sleep tonight.
"Debate club sucks." MJ said, sinking into her chair.
"It really does, doesn't it?" Peter replied, yawning. "There's no way I'm doing it senior year."
MJ got out her own laptop, coughed, and set it down on the table. Peter looked at her - she seemed less tired and disheveled today but still didn't look completely herself.
"Peter, I feel like I'm always gonna be apologizing to you but I'm sorry again." she said. "I shouldn't have ignored you..."
Her voice trailed off.
What happened to you, MJ? He thought.
"It's okay." Peter said, just relieved that she was was no longer ignoring him. "Are you gonna be in school on Monday?"
"Well, I will be if I want an A in Physics." MJ smiled. "I know it's hard to believe that I was actually sick, but I was."
"Because you're never sick." Peter said. "I literally can't remember the last time you missed class."
"It was...a mixture between me nearly getting pneumonia and me being bed ridden with period cramps." MJ replied. "Also, I can basically forget that A in Physics because I literally haven't studied."
"I would try and make you feel better about it, but I'd be lying if I said I hadn't studied." Peter said.
"Shut up."she laughed. "You know you're gonna get a ninety-five. And then I'll show you my test paper and I'll have a sixty five. And you'll say, 'well it's not that bad'"
Peter laughed. He couldn't fully understand why everyone constantly roasted him for being so high-achieving, but he wasn't complaining.
MJ moved over to his armchair and they got started on the speech, taking it in turns to write parts of it down and make other notes. Their pancakes arrived and they continued to work and eat at the same time.
"That's like a thousand and two hundred words." MJ sighed, licking Nutella off her fingers. "That's enough."
"That's nowhere near." Peter said, staring at the screen.
"I feel like we should take a break and talk about your sex life, considering you were so intent on hearing about mine." MJ said.
"What?" Peter said, sitting up.
"Who was it?" MJ asked.
Peter tried not to look as if he cared but he was sure that he was blushing now. It didn't feel nice to be on the other side of this interrogation.
"Maya." he shrugged.
"Maya Gardner?" MJ exclaimed loudly.
"Why are you shouting?" Peter smiled, as he looked at her.
"Because she's really hot. Like really hot."
"I'm aware of that, that's why we had sex." Peter said.
MJ punched him playfully and started laughing. He realized how weird what he said sounded coming from him and he was smiling uncontrollably too.
"So Peter the virgin is no more?" MJ said, eating some of his remaining pancake that he had abandoned.
"I guess not." Peter replied.
"That is literally so hilarious." MJ said.
She poured a shit ton of syrup, Peter thought, on the pancake, then sprinkled some sugar on top.
"MJ." Peter laughed, looking at her disapprovingly and grabbing her wrist. "I have diabetes just from watching you do that."
He didn't know whether she was delirious from being tired or whether she just didn't mind eating like that in front of him. He couldn't even compare it to Liz's daily salad and Fiji water.
He watched her chew her pancake and tuck some of her curly hair behind her ear. It was odd, but he'd kind of never seen her that happy since before the party. He was aware he was staring at her, so he looked down at his laptop for a second.
"I feel like we need to leave and go to the park." MJ said. "We can finish the speech there. All this food is starting to become a distraction."
"The park is closed, MJ." Peter replied.
"So we climb over the gates, duh." MJ said, smiling as if sneaking into a public park was totally normal. "Also, help me up - I'm full."
Peter took her hands and pulled her out of the chair. He wondered if she was asking to go to the park because she wanted to spend more time with him, or if she genuinely cared about finishing the speech.
They packed up their things and left the restaurant, making their way to Boston Public Garden. Peter wasn't thinking about the repercussions of trespassing, and he didn't think MJ was either.
With each other's help, they climbed over the gate successfully and settled in a grassy spot, by a tree. It was completely dark, and MJ her phone for a source of light so that they could see what they were doing.
After what seemed like forever, they managed to meet the word count on their speech.
Peter sighed before shutting his laptop and looking at MJ.
"We did it." he said, half-heartedly. "I know more now about vegetarianism than I will ever need to know in my life."
MJ coughed again, and then lay down on the grass. She looked equally as exhausted as Peter.
"What time is it?" she asked, closing her eyes.
"Three thirty." Peter said, worried that MJ was going to fall asleep while they were trespassing on public property. "We're supposed to meet Tyler back at the hotel at four."
"Screw Tyler." MJ said, in a tone that sounded slightly angry. "And all his douchey, good for nothing friends."
"Isn't one of those douchey, good for nothing friends your boyfriend?" Peter asked, looking at her again. She opened her eyes to look back at him and frowned.
"Andrew is not my boyfriend, Peter." MJ replied. "He's just a guy I happened to sleep with once."
Peter lay down on the grass too so that he was close enough to MJ but not too close. He was truly exhausted at this point and wanted to shut his eyes and drift off to sleep too.
"I hope you know this isn't a date." MJ said quietly.
"I never said it was." Peter replied, sighing heavily.
He thought about if he wanted it to be a date. He thought about how much he used to hate MJ and how now, he really just wanted to talk to her and play with her hair.
He wanted to tell her so badly about what happened at lunch the other day, and ask her about the photos online, and Flash's Instagram account.
"Do you still not care?" Peter asked. "About all the shit going on online?"
"Nope." MJ replied. "If I cared, I'd just tell my dad...but I don't wanna burden him. He's kinda all I have left."
"So..." Peter started. "Your mom-"
"Left a couple years ago." MJ said, finishing Peter's sentence. "She's kind of not a thing anymore."
"Oh." Peter said. "I'm sorry."
"There's no need to be. Life's kinda better without her."
Peter suddenly felt a chill from the wind and wished that he'd worn more layers.
"I guess you understand the single parent life." MJ continued. "You know that they're there but you also know that they're doing everything so you never wanna make their job harder. It's like your family is this perfect picture and then one day it all goes to shit."
Peter sighed.
"I don't really remember what it was like to have a perfect family." he said. "My mom and dad died when I was four...in a plane crash."
Peter didn't know why he felt tears burning at the back of his eyes. The topic of his parents never seemed to be brought up and it never ever made him want to cry.
But laying there at that moment, he felt vulnerable as fuck.
"I'm so sorry, Peter." MJ said, her voice sounding shaky.
There was a silence as Peter wished he hadn't confided in MJ and they both lay there, staring at the sky. He'd never really told anyone exactly what happened to his parents - except Ned.
All he could hear was the sound of cars driving by outside the park and MJ's breathing.
He felt her hand make his way to his, and both their fingers interlock. Peter's heart rate increased again. It always did when he was confused or nervous or angry.
"I thought you said this wasn't a date." Peter said, looking at MJ, who now looked back at him.
"It's not." she replied. "I just wanted to hold your hand, Parker."
Peter thought about how soft and delicate her hand was, and how he kinda didn't want her to let go.
His heart was beating even faster, and he didn't know what to do. MJ's dark brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the moonlight, and Peter thought how he didn't notice before that she had such nice eyes, and how weird it was that he was even thinking about that now.
Impulsively, he moved closer to her, still holding her hand.
"Are you okay, MJ?" He whispered, staring into her eyes. "Like, are you really okay?"
She had that look on her face like she did when Peter left her house that night. Like she was angry but a little hurt on the inside, and that she didn't want to say anything.
"Yes." MJ said, sounding like she was trying to convince herself.
"Are you sure?" Peter repeated, realizing that they'd never been that close before, and that his heart rate was through the roof.
"Yeah." MJ said again, sounding more sure than she did before. "I'm fine...and I don't need you to worry about me."
Peter nodded, though he knew he wasn't convinced. He was wondering why he cared deep down, and if - even in the slightest - he liked MJ.
She turned her body round to face his. They were so close now that MJ's curls caressed Peter's face. All of a sudden, she ran her hands through Peter's hair, and it sent shockwaves right through him.
This isn't a date, Peter thought, trying to figure out why he was so close to MJ and why she was touching him.
He wanted to kiss her. Badly.
"Well, if you need someone to talk to." Peter said. "I'm always here."
"Thank God." MJ whispered, sounding the most sincere that she had ever sounded.
Peter stared at her. His mouth felt so dry. Then he slowly leaned in towards her and put his lips to hers. Then he was kissing her. It was like he was experiencing every emotion he could possibly experience. He couldn't even believe what was happening. It was different to any other kiss he'd had before. It was like MJ was this fragile human being that could break at any second.
MJ broke away after a few seconds.
"You'll get sick." she said, looking worried.
He wanted to stay in that moment forever. There, lying with MJ in the cold weather, and being closer to her than he'd ever been.
"I don't care." Peter replied, kissing her again.
This time, she kissed him back. His hands found their way to her back and he pulled her closer.
Oh my God, Peter thought.
He was in the middle of Boston, in a park, kissing MJ. He frankly didn't mind if he caught her 'deathly' illness - as long as he could have this moment with her.
MJ broke away for the second time, panting from not being able to breathe for a while. He was out of breath too, but he kind of liked it.
She sat up from her position on the ground, and started to pack up her things.
"Where are you going?" Peter said.
"I don't-" she stammered. "Do you think I'm just...do you think I'm going to have sex with you here?"
Peter was confused.
"MJ." he started. "It was just a kiss and it wasn't going to be anything more than that."
MJ shook her head and stood up, throwing her backpack over her shoulder.
"Where are you going?" Peter asked again.
She stopped and turned to look at him.
"I can't go to school on Monday." she said. "Not with - I can't sit at that fucking table again!"
"Then don't." Peter exclaimed, grabbing his laptop and walking after her as she stormed off.
"You don't...understand." she panted, starting to climb over the gate again.
It only took a moment for Peter to realize that MJ was having a panic attack, and that he needed to get her out of there.
"MJ." Peter said, following her. As carefully as he could, he climbed over the gate, nearly falling over in the process. "You don't even know where you're going."
He grabbed her arm to stop her walking any further. There were tears streaming down her face now.
"You need to breathe." he said, as she shook her head at him.
"No...I can't!" she shouted, crying. "I can't."
Peter hated this.
He hated watching her suffer and he hated not really knowing what to do about it. He hated the park, and the fact that he was exhausted. He hated this God forsaken trip...and everyone on the debate team.
"Its not your fault." He whispered, pulling her into a hug. "It's not your fault."
He knew something was very wrong. More wrong than he could try and explain.
But for some strange reason, Peter cast his mind back to the photos of MJ...and all he wanted to do was fuck Tyler up.