"Are you going to talk eventually, Bakugou? Or are you going to waste my time some more?" she growled at him.
"I-"
"You what?" she growled. She glared at him and he sucked in air. He hated the way she looked at him. His eyes dropped and he stared at her skirt not really seeing it but trying to bring up the courage to speak. He had to do this now, there was no turning back. He looked up at her and realised how ridiculous he seemed, he felt it, he hated feeling scared and powerless. This horrible hopeless feeling inside of him made him feel disgusting. He thought about what his sister said to him and inhaled. He was fucking Katsuki, nothing can stop him from grabbing what he wants.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. Her expression faltered for a split second, he noticed it before it switched, could she forgive him? The thought filled him with hope, even if it was just a small thing, there was a chance.
"Is that all you wanted to say?" she said her voice harsh. "cause if so, you could've told me that at the desk," He couldn't help but flinch, but he didn't let that hope go.
"No, it's not all I have to say, but I thought it'd be a good place to start, I need you to listen to me, to what I have to say, I want to explain why and I want to clear the air," he started, "I hate this feeling, I hate knowing you're mad because of me," he hung his head and closed his eyes, bowing slightly. "I want to make things right with you, Ochaco," he sighed, waiting for an answer. She was quiet for a while and his mind was begging her to speak, screaming for her to accept his apology.
"Alright, I'll listen," she said, her voice was softer than before and his eyes shot open as he looked at her. He didn't believe she wanted to listen to him. He stared at her for a few seconds, shocked that she even agreed. "Well, talk," she said.
"Okay, where do you want me to begin?" he asked her.
"You wanted to talk, start where you want to," she said folding her arms.
"Okay, I've been in love with you since the first time I fought you," he said and she rolled her eyes.
"I'm not here for a confession," she said, crossing her arms.
"I'm not confessing, I'm starting from the beginning," he retorted, he didn't mean to let his annoyance slip out. "Anyway, I've been in love with you since the Sports Festival when we were first years. I kept it to myself because back then I thought it was just a little crush, something that would blow over after a while, so I focussed on my goal, to become the number one hero, hoping my feelings would subside. But instead of that happening, you were all I could see, in the halls, in class, in the common room, everywhere. I couldn't help it, you were all I looked for. This continued throughout second year, even though I couldn't speak to my unknown soulmate at that time. I was starting to think I didn't have one, and I kept admiring you from afar, knowing you were in love with Deku, and that we could never be anything. And then one morning I woke up with writing on my arm, and this melancholy feeling set in. I had a soulmate, but I wanted you." he paused, his eyes searching hers for any visible response, she was intently listening, her head tilted sideways slightly. "I hoped you were my soulmate, at first, and then I got to know my soulmate, and she was so amazing that I forgot those hopes, knowing I'd love her no matter who she was, and so I focused on her, not knowing that you were my soulmate," he said. She held up her hand to stop him.
"Okay I have a question," she frowned. "When did you figure it out?"
"November 4th, the day in the cafeteria when I stormed out," he said looking down.
"The last day you actually spoke to me," she whispered. His head bolted up as he stared at her. Her eyes were glassy and she stared into the distance, connecting the dots. Her eyes snapped back into focus, her gaze shifting back to him, her piercing glare cutting right through him. "Why?" she growled, her face terrified him. She was livid, Katsuki didn't even need to look twice, she glared at him, but underneath all the anger he saw a hint of something, he couldn't exactly see what.
"I honestly don't know," he said pathetically, he knew it wasn't good enough.
"That's not a good enough reason!" she screamed. "You have no idea how much that hurt! You just ghosted me with zero explanation or word! Did you even think about anyone but yourself? Do you ever consider anyone but yourself?" she screamed, tears welled up in her eyes and she walked towards him while tears streamed down her face. "You selfish bastard! You have no good excuse for leaving me like that! It hurt so much to be without you!" she sobbed as she raised her fists and pounded into his chest.
"Do you think I liked disappearing? I didn't know what to do okay! I was scared that if you knew who I was you would hate me because I'm Katsuki Bakugou!" he yelled back grabbing her wrists and moving them from his chest and pulling her closer to him. She struggled to free herself from his strong grip but he held on tighter. "I loved you and then I fell in love with you again without knowing who you were, leaving you was the hardest decision I ever made, my whole being cried out for you! I loved you! For fucks sakes I love you still Ochaco!" he cried, her struggling becoming less and less as they sobbed under the trees.
"You pathetic coward!" she sobbed, finally giving up on her struggles, as his grip loosened. She collapsed to the floor, her hands covering her face. His entire being wanted to reach out to her, holding back his tears was proving to be difficult. He fell to his knees and crawled to her not caring about his stoic behaviour or how much she didn't want to be held by him. He grabbed her and held her tightly to his chest, the tears streaming down his face as he held her. She struggled at first trying to stop him from holding her but he felt her give in ball his shirt in her fists, sobbing out insults as he sobbed out apologies.
"I didn't know what to do, so I stayed away, I wanted to say something but I didn't know what to say to you, I couldn't muster up the courage to say anything to you," he sobbed. They stayed like that for a while, not moving.
"I'm sorry, I never should have left you, I was so stupid," his voice shook, he hated seeming this vulnerable around anyone. She wiggled a little and moved out of his embrace. He watched as she dried her eyes and sat up straight. He swiped his arm across his face to get rid of his tears, but he knew his eyes were puffy and red.
"Can I ask you one question?" she asked. Her voice was hollow but he could hear the pain behind her words, the hurt that hid behind her angry eyes.
"You can," he said softly. Her head hung low, looking at her skirt and stockings, her fingers playing with the hem of her skirt.
"Why did you write to me after my date with Deku?" she lifted her head, looking at him, her gaze piercing.
"I had wanted to talk to you that Thursday, the day you made me breakfast, but I saw you and Deku outside the school. I'd realised you moved on, so I let it be," he bowed his head avoiding her gaze. He was ashamed of his patheticness. "But I kinda forgot about it after some... illegal choices the night before," he paused, he didn't want to lie, but he also didn't really want to tell her that his older sister got him hammered, he was still two years under drinking age. "Then on my way to get the pink freak, we had made plans to go somewhere that day with everyone and as I walked passed, she literally threw you into me, and I remembered. I was thrown back into the depressed state when I saw how amazing you looked, for someone else, so I walked away after you left and found myself in Kirishima's room, and now I owe him a new punching bag since I broke his last one," he said sheepishly. "But they convinced me to go with them to wherever they wanted, and that's how we ended up at the same place as the two of you, my sister had already known about all of this, but I didn't tell Kirishima or the bug zapper, so that's how that whole situation happened. But I couldn't stop watching you two, hearing your laughter, it made me angry, angry at that fucking bastard Deku, and myself," he growled, and she cleared her throat in disapproval at his statement. "When we left for my mom's house, my sister brought out some... illegal stuff, and the whole group made some poor choices," he averted his gaze.
"Oh so that's why Mina and Kyouka had such a hangover the Sunday," she stated.
"Anyway, we were actually having a great time, my parents were out for the weekend so we had more freedom. And then I felt it," the thought of it made him sick. "That kiss, I almost got sick when I realised what was happening, and I couldn't stop myself, I tried so hard to let you be, but I couldn't, everything went to my head and I wrote to you, I'd felt all those good feelings during the day and I deduced that you were at an amusement park and all of it just overflowed," he said, tears pricked at his eyes, but he held them back.
"Why did you say that you weren't in love with me?" she asked. His head snapped up, his eyes wide. The look was there again, but she looked more sad than angry.
"I was trying to let you go, trying to give up my hold on you, but I knew I couldn't do it, I was utterly selfish, I can't even lie and say it was the alcohol," he sighed, "I was scared that you'd be disappointed with who I was really, since I wasn't Deku, I was okay with lying to myself that I could let you go if I found someone, which was Kirishima's advice, but I knew I didn't want to," He explained. He felt like a child explaining what he did wrong.
"Then what happened with the fight?" she asked. "why did that happen?"
"White rage," he stated plainly. "I was already angry as it was, since Kirishima had arranged a stupid date with me and some girl from first year, but when Sunday came I stood her up, hiding at home "sick"," he showed air quotes "and then the Monday she had asked me to go have something to drink with her, which I declined, I told her the truth, that I was in love with someone, she understood and was in the same situation as me, so that was the end of that,"
"That still doesn't explain the fight, get to that," she huffed, he looked up at her and saw a hint of annoyance on her face, she didn't look amused, in fact, she looked a little jealous. Katsuki smirked at her and leaned forward.
"Are you jealous?" he asked, her eyes widened and she gawped.
"Wha- no! I just want you to get to the point!" she huffed and he laughed at her attempt to hide it.
"You're adorable, you know?" he laughed. She huffed again and stuck her tongue out at him.
"Idiot," she muttered. He laughed again. He enjoyed the small relief of banter, but he enjoyed her jealousy a lot more. "Talk!" she demanded and he held up his hands in protest.
"Okay, okay," he laughed, "The fight was a result of all the issues from the previous week, and to make it worse my sister decided that it was a good time to harass me about other crap, and pushing me to confess and get it over with so I could move on, even if I didn't want to, which irritated me, and plus the stress of finding out the girl I love was dating my enemy, Kaminari pestering me about everything and just problems, in general, caused me to become impatient. So when I saw you talking to Kirishima I got a little bit worried that he was talking to you about all the things I said to him that Saturday evening, or something and when he said what he did, about everything working out, it made me think he told you my secret. I wanted to get you away from all that so I could figure out what you two spoke about, and that's when I lost my temper, and then when Deku pushed me I blacked out, my anger took over and I ended up causing a fight but at one point I snapped back and my mind was on you, were you okay? Did I hurt you? And that's when Deku punched me in the face. Giving you that bruise on your cheek. I felt so bad about it that I wanted to grab you and kiss it better like a child, I didn't understand it," he started noticing himself fumbling at that point, he was embarrassed that he told her he wanted to kiss her better, make her pain go away, even the thought of that caused him to blush furiously in the moment. "When you asked to help me instead of Deku I felt hopeful that maybe you were starting to like me, but I also figured it was because he had run off by then so you offered to help me. I accepted, hoping I'd be able to speak to you about what Kirishima said to you," he said.
"You're so confusing, Bakugou," she shook her head.
"Yes I know, and no I wasn't staring at your boobs when you were fixing me up, I was looking at your shirt, just under your boobs," he blushed.
"So you never once stole a glance?" she asked. Her tone was odd as if she was making sure he wasn't, because maybe she didn't want him to.
"I didn't," he lied, he didn't have to tell her just yet, maybe one day he would but not yet.
"Okay, so something doesn't make sense to me here," she put her finger on her chin. "If you were attempting to let me go, why did you kiss me, and why did you confess, and why did you give me a surprise gift for my birthday and Christmas?"
"Isn't it obvious? I gave up on the idea of letting you go," he chuckled.
"What changed your mind?"
"You did," he stared directly into her eyes and watched her blush grow. "When you took care of my wounds, I thought about how I didn't want anyone to have you, and when you acted jealous about my sister I thought it was cute, I thought about how amazing your food is, and how you care about people and I didn't want anyone to have you. I kissed you because I wanted to show you I loved you but when you looked at me, wondering why I kissed you, I lied to you so you wouldn't hate me or reject me just yet. I then started making plans to win you over, and that's when Deku started smothering you, I think he figured out that I was in love with you and started making sure you would only see him, I liked that we had become friends, it was nice to feel close to you even slightly. Then when the Christmas party was announced I had decided that I would confess then, I got a group of people together to help me and they all agreed to help me with my plan, but I knew I had to tell Deku about my plan, I gave him an opportunity to ask you to be his girlfriend before midnight, and he agreed to stick to the plan, but he was cheating the deal from day one. The day he wouldn't stop kissing you, he was doing it to "mark his territory" or whatever, to show me that he would have you, but when you started to get uncomfortable Kirishima and I stepped in. I hated that he was so forceful with you that I considered cutting him from the deal, but I couldn't, it wasn't fair on you," he stated. "I decided I wanted to give you a chance to choose and if he didn't confess or if you said no I would keep to my plan, but that's when we met in the dark room, I could see you perfectly but since you were obviously unsure about who I was you couldn't see me, and I had previously read about hearing your soulmate's name and all that stuff, because it was all I could hear for three days after I knew it was you, so I researched and thought that maybe you'd be able to do the same, but it didn't happen, not until I confessed," he smiled at her. "I love you so much I would go through socialising with people and I'd actually give Deku a chance at something, but since you ran away I assume we've both been rejected," he laughed. He was finally free of the explanation he'd been dying to give her.
"I didn't-" she started
"Don't worry about it, I'm not mad or upset about it, not anymore, I'd like us to be friends again, this time, it's enough for me," he interrupted.
"Bakugou-"
"May I ask you why you're not calling me by my name? I asked you to, remember?" he interrupted her again.
"I thought it wouldn't be appropriate since I haven't given you an answer and since I ran away from your confession, I thought you hated me and were avoiding me," she pushed her forefingers together shyly.
"You were avoiding me!" he exclaimed. She pouted a little and looked down
"And I didn't reject you, I just didn't give you an answer because Deku was pushing me. I've already forgiven him for what happened, he apologised yesterday, I know he wasn't doing it to hurt me,"
"You're a good person, Uraraka," he smiled and her head shot up. "No first name till you're ready to call me by mine," he smiled at her again. He got up and stretched. "I think we should head back now, it's almost sunset,"
"Have we seriously been here for over an hour?" she blurted.
"Yep," he chuckled. He held out his hand for her. She took it and he pulled her to her feet, before reaching down and picking up both of their bags. "It's Thursday night, movie night, you can sit by me and Kirishima if you like?" he offered, handing her her bag. She nodded and smiled.
"Sure," she grinned. He gestured for them to start walking. She walked a bit behind him, but he didn't mind.
"Hey, Katuski?" she said after a few minutes of silence, he stopped and turned to look at her.
"Yes, Ochaco?" She walked up to him and smiled, her eyes were closed and her mouth open in a sweet grin. He felt his cheeks flare up, he probably looked like a cherry.
"I forgive you, and I'm glad you told me what you did. We can be friends," she opened her eyes and looked directly into his eyes. "You look like a tomato," she giggled, causing him to blush more. He turned his head away suddenly, trying to hide his face from her. He was so embarrassed. "You little tsundere," she laughed some more before grabbing his face and making him look at her. "Thank you for telling me the truth," she smiled, her brown eyes sparkling, the orange light of the approaching sunset made her face glow, he watched as she stood on her toes to reach his face, and he blushed, even more, when she placed a gentle kiss on his cheek. "lets get going now," she grinned and walked ahead of the blushing blonde. He watched her and snapped out of his surprised daze and ran behind her, calling her.
"Ochaco!"
"Yeah?" she turned around to look at him.
"My sister wanted to go and do some karaoke this weekend, will you come with me? Kirishima and some of our other classmates will be with us,"
"Sure!" she grinned and they walked back to the dorms together. When they got back Mina scolded them for being so late and rushed them up to go change so they could begin. They came back down and everyone asked if they were on speaking terms, while answering Kirishima got impatient and told everyone that he was putting the movie on. They brought out the snacks and all sat in their own spots in the giant pillow fort. Katsuki sat with Ochaco's head rested on his shoulder and eventually, she dozed off on him. He blushed and used his left hand to cover her with the blanket he had over his legs. When the movie was over he escorted her to bed with the help of Kirishima. He tucked her in and placed a soft kiss on her forehead after Kirishima walked out.
"Goodnight, angel face," he whispered before he left her room. He walked into his room and leaned against the door, his hair fell over his eyes when he dropped his head. He chuckled for a little before putting his head against the door again. He knew his face was bright red, but his heart beat heavily, and he knew. He just knew it would be so much harder to keep his promise.
"Shit," he laughed.