EVERYTHING I WANTED
BILLIE EILISH
I had a dream
I got everything I wanted
But when I wake up, I see
You with me
And you say, "As long as I'm here
No one can hurt you
Don't wanna lie here
But you can learn to
If I could change
The way that you see yourself
You wouldn't wonder why you hear
They don't deserve you"
Jeongguk doesn't go to work the next day, like Seokjin suggested. He lays in bed for the majority of the day, staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep and having no appetite. Haneul wants to meet up with him, and a part of him wants to meet her too; a part of him wants to see her smile in real life, wants to hear the sound of her voice, wants to know how tall she is. But the other part of him, the stronger, bigger, more logical part doesn't think meeting her would be even remotely a good idea.
Firstly, she's scared of Wanderers. Irrationally, but scared nevertheless. The fear isn't personal, but Jeongguk can't help but feel it is. His age is something that is as much apart of him as anything else about him, and he has a sickening feeling that Haneul wouldn't appreciate his old fashioned habits or speech if she knew the reason behind them is that he is old. Secondly, she lives near Gwangalli Beach, which is where Jeongguk grew up and met Jimin. It's all too close to home, too reminiscent of what he lost. And, though the chances of this are slim, he's terrified of being recognized by people he used to know.
Though it has been over a century since he has been back to Busan, he has no doubt that there are definitely Wanderers who linger around the city, too stupid or careless to move around and preserve their quality of life. Wanderers who will acknowledge him as one of them and expose his secret to the world—and possibly, to Haneul. Jeongguk shivers just thinking about it.
It's around two in the afternoon the next day, and Jeongguk hasn't been able to sleep. It isn't because he's not tired, because he's exhausted. He yawns, and his vision drifts in and out of focus. His eyes are bloodshot and the dark circles beneath them are darker than before. He's tempted to text Haneul, but he knows she's working. And even if he did, he doesn't know what he would say. The new information left him at a loss for words.
Suddenly, his phone dings. His heart jumps, and he wonders if it's Haneul. He can't tell if he's excited about it or not, but he realizes he doesn't need to be either when he picks it up and reads the message.
Hey Jeongguk, it's Hoseok, I got your number from Seokjin. I know I may not be the person you want to talk to right now after what happened last night, but I'd really like to get together and talk about it and apologize. Meet me at the Golden Closet Brewery at 7 if you want, but don't feel pressured if you're uncomfortable. I hope we can still be friends.
Jeongguk sighs, tired eyes reading the words on screen over and over again, round wire glasses askew on his face. He pictures Hoseok, his bright white smile even more illuminated in the fluorescent lights of the club. He seemed too nice to deliberately deceive Jeongguk like that. Jimin would tell him he trusts too easily, and he knows that's true, but Hoseok was different, Jeongguk can feel it. He needs to hear what he has to say.
After making his decision and lying in bed awake for the hours leading up to 7, Jeongguk rolls his fatigued body out of bed, leaves the house feeling underdressed in sweats and a hoodie Seokjin bought him for Christmas. Once on the street, he pulls out the map he uses to get around the city. He gets a number of odd looks, but he doesn't know how else to get where he's going, so he shamelessly follows his map until he's standing in front of a shabby bar, the words "Golden Closet" fixed above the doorway in neon yellow light.
The bar is crowded for being so small, and Jeongguk doesn't see Hoseok at first, but all of a sudden he sees a flash of red hair and the megawatt smile Hoseok constantly sports, waving him over enthusiastically. Jeongguk hesitantly takes a seat across from Hoseok, and the redhead immediately senses his nerves. "Hey." He says softly. "Let me buy your drink. What do you want? You like Soju, right?" He asks, words spilling out of his mouth uncontrollably.
"I'm—I've no taste for alcohol this evening." Jeongguk stammers, and Hoseok's smile grows understanding. Hoseok makes a gesture to a bartender nearby.
"Two Sprites, please." He calls, before turning back to Jeongguk. In his brief time knowing Hoseok, Jeongguk has never experienced an awkward silence, but the tension that follows is so thick you could cut it with a knife. Jeongguk sits, posture straight and muscles tight with caution and discomfort, and Hoseok licks his lips, debating what to say. "I'm so, so sorry. For last night, and Taehyung." He finally says. Jeongguk eyes the man across from him, unsure of what to say. "I said what I said thinking you would understand the connotation of it, but I never would have said it if I had known that you're—" Hoseok stops abruptly, and this makes Jeongguk's blood run cold, fear churning his stomach. No, it can't be.
"Known that I'm what?" He asks, voice soft and on the brink of breaking. Hoseok clasps his hands in his lap, teeth nibbling the inside of his cheek. "What, Hoseok? Knowing I'm what?" He persists, gripping the fabric of his sweats beneath the table to keep his hands from shaking.
"That you're a Wanderer." Hoseok blurts, and for once, there is no hint of a smile on his face. Jeongguk shakes his head, unable to wrap his head around the fact that he's been discovered.
"I'm not. That—This is absurd!"
"Jeongguk—"
"How dare you accuse me of such a thing?"
"Jeongguk, please—"
"Who the hell do you think you are?"
"Jeongguk. I know you are, and that's okay." Hoseok snaps. Jeongguk drops his denial, wilting like a wild flower in October.
"How do you know? Who told you?" Jeongguk asks, voice a whisper as hot tears sting the backs of his eyes.
"The bouncer." Hoseok says softly. "Don't worry, no one else knows. Just me." He reassures him. "Not even Seokjin. Your secret's safe with me." Jeongguk looks up at Hoseok through tear blurred vision, clasping his hands on the table.
"Why—Why are you being so kind to me?" He cries quietly, and Hoseok's eyebrows knit in concern. He gently places his hand on Jeongguk's arm, patting it soothingly.
"Why wouldn't I be kind to you?" Hoseok asks softly.
"Because I'm a Wanderer. I'm—I'm not normal."
"Normal is boring. Who wants a boring friend?" Hoseok points out, and Jeongguk looks up from the spot on the table he had been staring intently at to avoid making eye contact with Hoseok.
"You really want to be my friend?" He asks. Though Hoseok knows that Jeongguk is exponentially older than he looks, in this moment, he sees the innocence of a child in Jeongguk.
"Hell yeah." He says sincerely. Jeongguk feels the tears shifting from ones of sadness to ones of overwhelming joy.
"You would be my third friend in the last hundred years, then." He says, managing a feeble smile as he blinks back the tears that built in his eyes. "Congratulations." Jeongguk uses what little sarcastic wit he has in him, earning a chuckle from Hoseok.
"I'm honored." Hoseok teases as the bartender places two glasses of clear, bubbly liquid down in front of them. Jeongguk's eyes light up as he leans forward and takes a sip from the straw. He lets out a soft moan, covering his mouth in embarrassment.
"I apologize, it has been quite some time since I have had Sprite. I forgot how delightful it is." He murmurs, taking another drink with excitement.
"How long, exactly?" Hoseok laughs, taking a drink of his own.
"Hm...fifty years give or take." He says, and Hoseok's eyes widen.
"Whoa, hyung, how old are you?" Hoseok questions curiously.
"Two hundred and twelve." He says casually, and Hoseok nearly spits out his Sprite. Before Hoseok can launch into an apology, Jeongguk is laughing uncontrollably, and soon, Hoseok joins in, and they make a scene in the bar. They order two more rounds of Sprite, and one of Coke, to mix it up a little, talking for hours on end about both their lives. Finally, they bid each other goodbye around midnight, promising to hang out after Jeongguk gets off work some time in the next week.
As Jeongguk walks home, he knows he should feel tired for not having slept in 24 hours, but really, he has never felt more awake. In the moment, he can only think of one thing to do to make the night he's had even better.
Haneul!
I now have 2.5 friends!
awww that's so awesome i'm so happy for you cutie
wait
2.5???
One, my boss. Two, one of my boss's friends.
2.5, you.
oh wow cool i only count as half a friend
thanks buddy
Of course you do.
Because I consider you as half my friend, half potentially something more than that.
HEY Y'ALL
i promise the next chapter will be all jeongguk x haneul interactions but this is SUPER NECESSARY FOR THE PLOT!
also i hate stories where the main character's life practically stops when they meet the love interest like bITCH WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES—
i love you all and make sure to stay healthy !!! drink lots of water and eat enough and take whatever medicine or vitamins you need and get enough sleep!!!!!!!
xoxoxoox r
edited 05/08/20