Writer's Note- This song is really nice. It gives off gospel reminiscent, hymnal inspired pop track with that choral backdrop. Hozier is quaking in his boots.
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Also - omg my story's rankings are all of a sudden higher than usual what the heck. Thank you all for the support!
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The shelter had been overwhelming with the ripe smell of animals blasting into my nostrils and the baying sound of dogs rattling my eardrums. A harried worker in a bright blue uniform had come up to me after I entered and toured me around the facility.
Most of the dogs looked longingly at me, as though I could be a source of freedom. But I didn't want something energetic and over eager. I didn't have enough energy for that.
And then I saw her.
A large dark cat was reclining sleepily like it couldn't give a fuck about all the noise and disorderly status of the shelter. When I'd pointed out the cat I wanted, the worker gave me a worried look.
I left the animal shelter holding the cat carrier they'd given me, heading to the vet clinic around the corner wanting to get my cat chipped, checked out and registered.
The vet clinic was a large stand alone structure with gleaming windows and a nice reception area. There was a high desk, which had filing cabinets behind it and the walls had happy pictures of dogs and cats along with advertisements. The theme seemed to be a homey beige and brown that made the space seem sleek and comfortable. I went up to the desk, putting my cat carrier down.
The receptionist's head was down as she furiously wrote something, her long, dark hair obscuring her face. I tapped absently on the counter and her head jerked upwards as she gave me a look of surprise, and then ultimately recognition.
"You work here?" I said. This was the woman I'd bumped into at the hospital who had given me a juice box to calm me down. How embarrassing.
"That's no way to greet someone." But her full lips quirked in amusement before I read her name tag: Dr. Maria Diaz. "I knew I recognized you. You're one of my husbands' patients aren't you?"
I couldn't believe this. I'd officially met all three of them. "How are you all doctors?" I shouldn't have said anymore but irritation swept through me like an irresistible wave. "But I shouldn't be surprised considering you're all also aggravating assholes."
Maria Diaz gave me a confident grin, not looking even a little bit offended even though her tone was sharp. "Watch your mouth, those are my assholes you're talking about."
After that she affected a professional air as she registered my new cat and escorted me to an examination room. She had only been filling in for the actual receptionist during her lunch break.
I watched Maria as she examined my new cat. Soliloquy was a sleek, grey and white maine coon cat with emerald green eyes. The shelter worker told me she was about two years old, and had a tendency to lash out viciously at people she didn't like. If that wasn't love at first sight I don't know what was.
"So how did you all meet?" I asked Maria after she casted an immobilization spell on Sol so that she could check her vitals, draw blood and conduct the physical without worrying about violence.
I didn't expect her to humour me with a story and then she did. "Well, I was with EJ first. We'd been together for a year or two and we always enjoyed playing around." She gave me a suggestive wink. Gross. "But EJ and Ky actually got their doctorates at the same university so that's when they met." She started to draw blood from Sol and I saw my cat giving me a dark look even if the rest of her body was stable. Maria waggled her eyebrows. "Their research overlaps in some really nice places." Double gross. "EJ told me Ky was hitting on him and I obviously have eyes so I suggested we all go on a date. Let me tell you, I wanted to climb that man like a tree when I first saw him. You should see the way EJ blushes when Ky touches-"
"Okay." I said quickly, threading my fingers through my hair and shifting uncomfortably in my seat. "I don't need to hear anymore. Thanks for giving me the abbreviated version."
She gave me a dazzling smile, mischief glinting in her eyes. When she smiled like that I realized she was actually gorgeous. Maria was almost as dark as Mike, rich golden brown skin only accentuating her high cheekbones, large expressive eyes, and full mouth. She was tall and lanky enough I couldn't believe she'd had twins. The three of them all had the tall thing in common, but where Dr. Song was slender and Ky was buff, Maria was svelte. Her gentle curves reminded me of the average Victoria Secret model. If you could call a Victoria Secret model average. They were the kind of family that would be pre-positioned in frames. All stock picture perfect.
Maria was snuggling Sol with a gentle, attentive voice. "What a sweet girl you are, you're nothing like any of those shitty cats that normally come through here. So quiet and submissive. That's a good girl." Maria gently touched Sol's face, pushing her jaw open, examining her teeth. After she finished checking her out, she guided her back into the cat carrier. She released the spell and I heard Sol cry out from the carrier.
"You're lucky to have a cat like that." Maria said in her regular voice, removing her gloves and tossing them in the trash.
"All cats aren't like that?"
Maria snorted and pushed a lock of hair behind her ear reminding me of the way Ky frequently did that. I wondered if she started doing that because of him or if he started doing that because of her. "Cats are evil bastards. You seem to have found the one sweet one. Any other cat would've sliced me six ways to Sunday by now. Treat her well. We'll do a check up in six months and I'll have a vet tech call about the results of the blood work." She hesitated for a moment. "You don't exactly seem like a cat lover."
I looked at Sol in the cat carrier. "Well, I'm trying new things."
"Getting a pet because you're feeling lonely or depressed isn't going to solve your problems." She didn't have a sneer on her face but it was awfully close. "I see people come in here all the time excited to be new pet owners because of a whim and then weeks or months past and suddenly their animals are a burden."
"This is different." I convinced both her and myself. I turned to leave but she made a noise like she wasn't done talking to me. She walked up to me screwed her eyes in concentration. It was like the air held still for a moment, a sustained moment of weightlessness where nothing happened. It was becoming disconcerting when she eventually said: "Something's wrong with you."
I flinched, not at all expecting that. But she only moved closer, close enough for me to smell the scent of her shampoo, some weird coconut tropical medley. There was even the suggestion of freckles on her face, barely there spots on the bridge of her nose. "I can feel it." She said. "Listen, if you're terminal, who's going to take care of the cat? She's a maine coon cat that's still growing. Her last owner took her on walks." She gave me a doubtful look. "Can you do that? I saw the way you sat in that chair like it was life support." Maria gave me a concerned look but just crossed her arms across her chest like she was trying to figure something out.
"You're worse than Ky!" I snapped. "I'm perfectly fine and I know how to take care of a cat, thank you very much." I bent to pick up my cat carrier and stood up, blood rushing to my head too quickly as I teetered before regaining my balance as spots swarmed in and out of my eyes.
I left the vet clinic in a rush, hoping my body wouldn't betray me again.
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Writer's note - Maine coon cats are super big. Like the size of a medium dog. They look kinda like that ->
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With a new charge in my household it got easier to get up every morning. Slowly, I started to put things back in order, airing out the apartment and taking down the Christmas decorations. The tree was the hardest, and I had to take frequent breaks trying not to break down and cry. I hated myself while I stuffed the plastic pieces of the tree into boxes, wishing that doing something like this wouldn't make me feel so destroyed.
The days turned over like that. Me getting used to Sol, pushing away thoughts of Mike, going to my therapy sessions, and getting ready for the art showcase. Another version of me would have been elated to showcase my art. Darren had told me there was a lot of interest in the local art community over my tattoos and that had pushed up the price of my pieces. Luciana had even called me and congratulated me, saying she'd heard about the showcase and would be attending. I couldn't understand that at all. She'd sounded excited for me not mentioning Mike even once.
A few days before the showcase, I was sitting in the living room in a rare good mood where I didn't feel exhausted and my appetite had suddenly returned. I was eating a bowl of popcorn and watching a Disney movie. Recently, I'd been a sucker for happy endings. Sol was sitting on her favourite cushion napping. She wasn't the most exciting cat, but it was fine since I wasn't the most exciting person. She'd taken to me really well, always cuddling with me after a long day at the tattoo shop. I almost didn't feel alone when I heard her meow randomly or scratch against her scratching post.
There was a knock at the door and Sol's ears flicked momentarily but she didn't open her eyes.
I looked through the peephole of the door, not understanding what I was seeing. I whipped open the door. "What are you doing here?"I said, too surprised to be annoyed.
Cheryl pushed her way inside with a surprising amount of force as she got in my space. "What did you do to him?" Her cheeks were rosy and she was breathing heavily, short pants that seemed to rattle her smaller frame.
"How do you even know where I live?" I said, not sure when I'd ever seen Cheryl so emotional.
"Mike went to Cuba! He's been backpacking in South America for six weeks." For a moment everything was in slow motion and I barely understood the words coming out of her mouth. Her chest was heaving, blonde hair bobbing and her face was flushed an angry red. She looked distraught.
"He's in...Cuba?" That's all I could think to say.
"What. Did. You. Do." She ground out between two rows of perfect pale teeth.
"I didn't do anything, Cheryl!" I said, backing up as she advanced towards me. I backed up into the living room and she took a cursory glance around the apartment. The air felt charged with whatever had been building between us the past few months. "We broke up, okay? Why do you even care? You want to snatch him up or something? Well, he's free real estate now isn't he?" I finished bitterly, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Don't be a fucking ass, Derrick." She snapped at me, her fluting voice growing sharp. "He gave his heart to you and you just stomped all over it. I wouldn't have-" she hesitated but pushed through anyways, a mean look in her eye. "I wouldn't have hurt him like that."
"So this is what this is really about." My voice turned cloying. "You came to shit on me for fucking things up."
Her voice broke dangerously, as the anger ebbed and flowed out of her voice. "I once asked him what he saw in me, and you know he said all the obvious things; that I was funny, smart, and beautiful...But, what I remember is when he said: 'You make me smile, Cher.'" She gave a tearful smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. "Maybe I made him smile, but you make him laugh." Cheryl took a long shuddering breath, beginning again in a shattered voice, "And isn't there a world of difference between those two things?"
I didn't understand why she was telling me any of this or what she expected me to say. "I wasn't ready to be in a relationship with anyone." The words seemed to take more than just breath out of me and I grasped at the wall, bending slightly. "Shit. Can you- Can you get me some water?"
Cheryl narrowed her eyes at me, walking around me and into the kitchen. She came back several seconds later with a glass of water.
I took it with a shaking hand, drinking slowly. Fuck. Cheryl probably thought I was about to keel over.
Cheryl gave me a long guilty look, "Are you sick or something?"
I let out a harsh laugh after drinking the water, shuffling to the kitchen table to take a seat. "Or something."
She followed me into the kitchen warily. "I don't hate you, Derrick. I just- I don't understand you. Bottling everything up inside, never letting one in. The only one you ever let in was Mike. I can't understand why you would throw that away. I don't understand why you do anything you do." She took a tentative seat on the kitchen table chair.
"Get out." I growled.
She gave me an incredulous look. "I just want to talk."
"Get out of his seat." I whispered harshly, not having the energy to argue with her.
Her eyes widened and she got up quickly. "Sorry." She said quietly. "I didn't mean to-"
"You just came here to gloat, didn't you?" I said heatedly, staring at my fingers. "Well, I'm sure you love seeing my like this." I looked up at her through glassy eyes. "Derrick beneath his fucking cold exterior right? All weak and pathetic."
Cheryl opened and closed her mouth, looking for something to say. "You aren't pathetic."
"God, Cheryl." I groaned indecently, covering my face with my hands. "Why are you really here?"
"Because-" she stopped, and let out an anguished emotional breath. "Even if Mike and I aren't together I still want the best for him. It's fucked up but that's how I feel. And I can't-" She unloosed a frustrated noise. "I can't do anything. So why can't you get your fucking shit together and just make him happy again. Seeing him with you hurts less than seeing him upset. Just talk to him. Try to be his friend, he could definitely use one right now."
Cheryl finally got up and left my apartment leaving me to chew over her words. Sol creeped into the kitchen, pawing at my leg in what I imagined was sympathy. My phone felt like fire in my pocket and it took me a moment to realize it was ringing. Something like hope fluttered in my chest when I saw it was a long distance number. I picked up the phone.
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Overall thoughts?
Ugh, I miss Mike, he's coming back next chapter though, don't worry.
I've written chapters 37-40 but I'm still adjusting things and trying to do the epilogue but yeah I think there will be just over 40 chapters. Ah we're so close to the end, this is crazy. This is officially the longest thing I've written, and the second novel length thing I've written eep.