Did he just kiss me? It happened so quick, I don't even know. Soon I am able to unfreeze from my spot and slowly head upstairs to my bedroom, sitting on my bed. A thousand and one thoughts fly around in my head and I am finding it hard to focus.
Did he kiss me? It was so fast. If he did, I'm not sure if it was because it was in the moment. I mean, he just got really good news. He must have been in a celebratory mood. So that's all it was, a celebratory kiss. Unless it wasn't and it meant something more to him than that. If it meant something more, would I be ready for that change? Do I want that? How do I know that what I am feeling is something more than friendship?
And now I'm really overthinking this. Damn it, stupid brain and it's tendency to overthink everything. It was most likely nothing and you should treat it as nothing.
I pick up my book to try and read to distract myself, but I end up reading the same sentence at least ten times. This is just a whole bunch of words to me, it doesn't make any sense what so ever. I slam the book shut, giving up and yelling at my brain to JUST FORGET ABOUT IT!
A knock at the door sounds making me snap my head up in alert. "Come in." I say, after trying to compose myself and clearly failing. Ben comes through the door, almost hesitantly and looks at me in an apologetic way that almost looks like a grimace.
"I am so sorry, Y/N, about before. About the kiss." The way he speaks is like a million thoughts are racing to get out and he's trying to keep up with them all. "I didn't mean anything by it, I was just happy at getting the part. I hope this doesn't change anything between us. I'm so sorry." His voice in the end almost turns robotic, like he's just forcing the words out. But after this, he leaves the room, leaving me alone with my thoughts once again.
I deflate in disappointment, bringing my knees up to my chest and hugging them. I guess I really did want something more to happen between us. Why wouldn't I? He's been there for me more times than any of my other friends. He doesn't judge me at all, not for my looks or my interests. We just work together. And that dream I had last night, it was him on the back of that dinosaur, I know it now. It's a wonder how I didn't see my feelings for him before. I don't think there is a better guy for me than him, and he basically just rejected me.
"Actually, do you know what?" Ben bursts suddenly through the door, making me stand up. "I'm not sorry, and I'm glad that did happen." He says, making me smile as he rushes forward, smashing his lips against mine in a heated kiss.
Now this is how it's supposed to be.