The rest of the day at school wasn't really
all that exciting or anything. The only thing that's buzzing around my head is "Shit, we 'ave to perform tonight?! Seriously?!", honestly. I wasn't expecting to be put on the spot like that and I doubt any of the others were either. Not even Richard, who knew about this for God knows how long. Why did he decide to tell us about it just now?
I held my rucksack against my spine as I kept my gaze down at the floor. My hands gripped the straps tightly as my mind was racing at a thousand miles a minute. The hallways around me were packed-full of other students and it was hard to maneuver down the corridors without panicking.
Not only did I have to worry about performing, I also have to worry about the
rumors about Paul and I. About what everyone around me was inevitably thinking about us. With their glares and laughs, it was so obvious to me that they saw me as a joke. Their eyes are like daggers. Their quick glances could cripple, I swear. And the crowd of birds infront of me whispering and staring at me like i'm some type of monster broke me.
My mind is just one big, tangled mess at the moment, don't know if that was obvious.
"Is something the matter?" I asked them in a snide tone.
There was no doubt in my mind that these girls are Jane's friends.
"Not at all. Why?" A girl with black locks replied with a sarcastic smile.
In the distance I saw George for the first time today. He's kept himself pretty distant from me ever since Paul and I stopped talking, understandably so.
I wonder what he's got to say?
He didn't speak up, though. He only stayed far away and watched me as I was stood infront of that group of girls.
"Look, whatever ye heard abou' Paul and I- Jus know it ain't true." I replied, biting back the harsh words that wanted to escape my mouth. I kept my eyes on George. "Don't listen to every little rumor ye hear, alright? 'Cause it's jus a rumor."
"Doubtful, but whateva'." The girl snapped. "I've seen the way ye two look at eachother and Jane told me more than enough details, Lennon."
I rolled my eyes and clenched my fist. Instead of letting my temper take control of me yet again, I pushed passed the group and made my way over to George who was still staring at me.
"Ey." Is all I said as I approached the curious lad.
George only stared back at me with an uninterested expression upon his face.
"Ye gonna speak or what?" I asked.
"...Are ye still mad wi' me?" I asked softly.
"What for?" George asked.
My eyes widened, "...For pretty much everythin' that's occured between us since we met?"
"If I held a grudge wi' everythin' ye did, I doubt we'd ever be able to be band mates, yeah? John, everythin's water under the bridge between us, honestly. It's alright... We're cool." George replied all in the same breath.
I'd be bloody lying if I said I wasn't shocked at this moment.
"Plus. Most of the shit I was angry wi' ye for was outta yer control." George finished.
I leaned against the lockers and sighed, "And what's that mean?"
George leaned into a whisper, "Even though it never sat right wi' me... I kinda realized that if Paulie likes ye... what rights do I got to dislike ye? ...Yer not a bad person. No one is!"
"That's... mature of ye." I replied.
"Yeah? I try." George chuckled, "Anyroad, did Rich tell ye abou' tonight?"
"Yep. Ye nervous?"
"No, John, I jus love performin' on the spot!" George replied with edge to his words, causing me to shove him playfully.
I clicked my tongue, "Well." I readjusted my rucksack upon my shoulder, "See ye at the cafè, then."
And with that, I walked out of the school and outside into open world. Finally freed from that prison they call "public education."
Now. To find Paul.
I shaded my eyes from the sun with my hand and scanned the area around me, but to my dismay, there was no ebony-haired, doe eyed boy in sight.
Not seeing him anywhere made me nervous. Paul usually meets outside everyday, but he's nowhere to be found. It makes me even more stressed knowing we are to perform in just a few hours.
Maybe he's just left early.
I shrugged it off and began walking towards my own house to warm-up a bit before tonight.
This seemed like a good idea.
But the closer I got to my house, the more my gut was practically screaming at me.
I can't ever seem to be able to give that man some space. I can't get out of his hair!
Well, he can't get out of my head, so I guess we're even?
As I got to the dirt road that separates Paul and I's houses, I knew I had to make a decision.
I immediately began to follow the path to Paul's.
I galloped up the stairs of his front porch and knocked upon the front door a few times. Each second that passed had me that much more worried.
The door swung open and Paul's father was stood in the doorway, "John?"
"Ello Mista'." I paused, "Um... Have ye seen Paul 'round?"
"I have. He was a bit upset earlier and stormed out the door. No tellin' what he was so angry about, we haven't had any arguments. He probably went down to the lake or somethin', I reckon." Jim informed me while sipping off of his iconic flask.
I furrowed my brows, "Th- Thank ye."
"Everythin' alright, son?" Jim asked me as I was turning away.
"Course. Why?" I replied immediately, almost as if I rehearsed those words thousands of times over in my head.
"Well. You're as pale as a ghost and always seem so... concerned abou' Paul's well-being that it's almost wifely." Jim laughed through his words.
My face reddened, "Jus tryin' to be a good mate, is all."
"Off ye go, then." Jim nodded me off.
I pursed my lips and nodded my head before turning the opposite direction of Paul's place.
It made me more nervous to know that even Jim is confused about Paul's emotions at the moment, but I feel at ease knowing where that boy is.
I hope he's okay.
I'm coming.
As I approached that same lake I had visited many times before, I instantly saw a solemn boy staring into his own reflection of the water.
What is he thinking?
"Paul!" I shouted as I skipped over to where he was sat. He looked up at me with worry in his eyes and sorrow on his lips.
"Ey, John." He replied softly as I sat down in the dirt next to him at the edge of the water infront of us.
"What're ye doin' here?" I asked, scooting closer to him.
Paul layed his head on my shoulder and let out a sigh, "I'm terrified."
"Yeah, I can see that. But why?"
"...Everythin'." He groaned.
"What's that mean?"
"Jus everyone and everythin'... Gettin' involved wi' me life and allat." Paul began to speak a little harsher. "Why does everyone gotta concern themselves wi' me?!"
"Macca, love, what're ye on abou'?" I asked with widened eyes.
"Everyone is speakin' to me, sayin' that I'm queer and a disgrace; For what?" Paul's voice was cracking the more he spoke.
"Paul..." I wrapped my arms around him, "Paul, ye aren't a disgrace and I know that better than anyone else. Who the Hell cares abou' what the others think?! One day, Paul, I promise ye that we'll be at the top of the world and where will they be? They'll be miserable. And where will I be? Well, I'll be by yer side singin' on a stage infront of thousands of cheering people. Paul, we're gonna make it through this and we'll leave them in the dust."
Paul stared at me with teary eyes, "Wow..." He wiped his eyes with his sleeve, "John... that's the most positive thing I've ever heard ye say to me."
"Gee, thanks." I smiled at the now happier lad. "But I'm serious, ye know? Ye gotta quit worryin' what everyone bloody thinks of ye sometimes."
I leaned my forehead against Paul's and grinned, listening to the water rushing passed and the wild life surrounding us.
I then stood up and dusted the dirt off of my trousers and stared down at Paul, who only looked up at me while a gust of wind blew his hair wildly.
"Ready to go, then?" Paul asked me, squinting his eyes.
I nodded my head, "Yeah. We oughta meet up wi' the others before it gets late."
Paul agreed and held his hand out for me to grab, so I pulled him to his feet and we began to head out towards Richard's house.