Valentine's day, this day always reminds me that I never got the chance to show her my love for her by showering her with tons of gifts, beautiful surprises for a month and most importantly my unspoken love. Every year since the day she left me I wondered how would it be to spend Valentine's day with her and taking her out on a romantic date to a fancy French restaurant just like the one I am at the moment with my business associates. It felt awkward to be the only single person seated on the table of five couples - Tim and his wife Eva were one of them and my business associates were on the dance floor with their partners including Tim and Eva. I was quietly seated on my chair looking outside the window at the busy street of New York. Memories of Mayaan flashed back in front of my eyes the moment I saw her after five years standing in the snow and then at the pub dancing carefree with her brothers but that one memory of her when she asked me to hold her;
"Hold me..." She said softly as she rested her forehead on my chest and added slowly; "... like you will never leave me"
I took a deep breath to clear my mind from her thoughts but I utterly failed when my sight caught her reflection on the window. I abruptly turned to look at the Dance floor - she was there dancing with him. I felt someone just squeezed my heart and stabbed it with a knife
"Yes I love the man who owns this ring"
"I will wait for you Jadlaan as long as it takes"
So, my doubts were right about her being engaged to that man who did everything to have her and now he has. Mayaan was dancing with him but it felt like she was in deep thoughts and Jadlaan was the one who kept on making little conversation during the dance. He was holding her close as if he was scared to lose her but lucky him because he had the girl whom he wanted the moment he laid his eyes on her. To the world it may look like they were a couple who is young and in love but I don't know why I felt they weren't in love with each other because even during their dance Jadlaan's eyes keep on wandering on the other women while Mayaan's gaze low and she only looks up when she talks with him. Jadlaan should stop looking at other women because he had the most beautiful lady in his arms who only had eyes for him, the way she looked at him and smiled made me think about leaving this city because if she was planning on living here then I give up this fight because I can't take it anymore. Seeing her ignoring my existence was worse than her arguing and blaming me. I sighed and leaned back on my chair while I couldn't stop myself from admiring her in that dress - she looked breathtakingly beautiful with just a little touch of makeup to enhance her beauty. I was quietly looking at her every move as she danced meantime Mayaan slowly pulled back with pointing towards his jacket - she said with a smile on her lips. Jadlaan pulled back even though he didn't want but he did, he said something playfully making her giggle and left the dance floor leaving Mayaan alone there with the couples dancing around her. She nervously bit her lower lip and left the dance floor.
Unknowingly I followed her - she walked slowly while she kept on touching the decorated roses by the tips of her fingers - she walked through the corridor's aimless until she stopped in front of french doors which lead to a balcony. She turned the knob and steps inside the balcony where the lights were dim while it was decorated with red roses and small candles. The balcony was peaceful and the sound of the music could be heard low. Mayaan went towards the fence as she wrapped her arms around her. Absentmindedly I went and stood behind her meanwhile a breeze of cold air blew filling the air with her fragrance. Her sweet scent pulled me in and I took a step closer to her. She sighs as she looks up at the moon in the sky and memories of our date night flashed back in front of my eyes when Mayaan and I lay down and stared at the moon.
"Isn't it beautiful,
It feels like glitters all over the sky,
I always wanted to see so many stars,
It's a dream come true!"
The memories of the most memorable night of my life when Mayaan went on a date with me and later I spend the night at her room with her. I miss those days, I wish I could get a chance to make everything right and clear the misunderstanding between us. I was lost in my thoughts meanwhile Mayaan turns and bumps into me - she stumbled but I was fast enough to hold her by wrapping my arm around her waist. She was stunned on finding me standing behind her;
"Omair..."
Her voice came out breathless.
Mayaan stood straight and pulled away but her back hits the fence making her gasp. It appeared she was confused on encountering me here alone with her or maybe she doesn't want me to be here. I turned to walk away but her voice stopped me;
"How are you?"
She asked hesitatingly.
I smiled because her question was something I never expected her to ask after our last encounter. She lowered her gaze and bit her lower lip which she does a lot when she is nervous or scared;
"Alive... and you"
I said as I turned to face her while I tucked my both hands in front pockets of my pant and took a step towards her;
"I am fine... you are alone?..."
she asked curiously but then shook her head with saying;
"You don't have to answer, it's none of my business"
She said lowly and was about to walk away but I hold her wrist. I came and stood in front of her while I grabbed a red rose from the vase;
"I don't have a date Mayaan but I believe you do and yet here you are alone just like me"
I said as I slowly let her hand slip away from my grip.
She looked at me thoughtfully with creased brows and takes a step closer to me;
"Alone?"
She asked with a frown while concern was visible in her eyes as they shined;
"I am alone because the one I want to be with is with someone else and she is happy to be with him but you could make me the happiest man on earth if you accept this rose and do me the honor to have a dance with you "
I said as I held the rose for her.
She looks at me puzzled;
"but... I don't know... I am..."
She said as she looked around and steps back keeping distance between the two of us;
"Are you scared of me... hmm... or are you scared that your date might see us together?"
I asked her curiously as I took a small step towards her;
"No... I am not"
She said as she looked me in the eyes but she nervously bit her lower lip when she glanced towards the window because people could see us clearly. I knew what I had to do to have her to agree for the dance. I went and blew off all the candles and turned off the lights making her gasp as I closed the curtains and shut the doors. I turned to face her - she was standing quietly staring at me with creased brows while the red sequins on the hem of her dress sparkled beneath the moonlight like ruby gemstones. If someone thought she was beautiful before then he should think again because now she looked bewitching. She opened her mouth to speak but I stopped her by keeping my palm on her lips;
"No one can see us now..."
I said as I slowly removed my hand while unknowingly the tips of my fingers brushed against her lips. I took a deep breath to calm my racing heart and cleared my throat - with tucking a strand of her hair away from her face as it kept coming and I added;
"... all I am asking is for one dance"
I said as I slowly caressed her jaw with the back of my thumb.
Mayaan removed my hand as she took a deep breath and steps back but her back hits the fence.
I took a step towards her and leaned close to her face making her close her eyes. She gasped when I gently hold the back of her neck and gently pulled her face closer. She kept her both hands over my chest to stop but she failed when I brushed my lips against her earlobe because she clenched the lapel of my jacket and said my name;
"Omair..."
My name came out in a whisper as I smoothly placed the rose on the side of her hair bun. I slowly pulled back and rested my forehead on her shoulder;
"I know I have no right to ask you but I only wish to have one dance with you to spend a special moment with you alone... I know you never want to see me and I promised of never coming in front of you but just for tonight leave everything behind and forget about our past because I want you to dance with me as you have never danced before,
I want to have you alone far from the world all to myself until the music ends, I want to dance with you slow like this might be the last day of us on this planet... even it is for a little while but in these few minutes ... I..."
I said as I slowly raised my head and met her gaze.
Her eyes were filled with strange emotions as she looked at me, I softly cupped her right cheek and rested my forehead on hers. She closed her eyes, so, did I and continued;
"... I want you to be mine like you never belonged to someone else just the way I am yours..."
I said as I softly caressed the apple of her cheek with the back of my thumb because her cheeks were cold by the weather.
Mayaan pulled back looking at me astoundingly. I nodded my head as my thumb traced down till her neck;
"... only your princess"
I said looking at her with the hope of that she would agree.
Mayaan surprised me when she nods her head with a small smile and teary eyes;
"I will..."
I extended my hand for her to hold.
Mayaan hesitatingly places her hand on my palm as she bits her lower lip. I heard her gasp when I slowly wrapped my arm around her waist while she placed her other hand on my shoulder. I wanted to pull her closer but I didn't because I want her to be comfortable and I didn't want to scare her away by being pushy. I was pulled out of my thoughts when I heard Mayaan's voice;
"There's no music..."
She said thoughtfully as she looked at me meantime the music begins to play through speakers- it was a slow song;
"I should warn you because I might step on your foot, I am not good at this"
She said nervously as she pulled back her hand from my shoulder;
"I don't think so because I have seen you and I believe you are perfect at it"
I said as I gently took her hand and placed it over my shoulder.
Her petite figure perfectly fits with me like we were made for each other. Both of us danced like we have done it many times before - our bodies were syncing to the sound of the music and unknowingly I pulled Mayaan closer as she wraps her arms around my neck while she rested her cheek on my chest with a sigh. I rested my chin at the top of her head as I pulled her closer feeling content. This moment having her in my arms and dancing under the moonlight was like a dream come true.
Mayaan looked at me with creased brows when I slowly pulled back with taking her hand as I twirled her around making her gasp and gently pulled her back in my arms by wrapping my arms around her stomach while her back hits my front. I felt her say my name in a whisper as she leaned back on my chest and closed her eyes - I lowered my head close to her neck brushing my lips against her earlobe and tracing down till her neck, Oh, God how badly I have missed her sweet scent and her closeness. I thought as I turn her around to face me while I took her hand as I gently turned it and kissed the inside of her palm while my eyes were fixed on her face. She slowly opens her eyes when she felt my lips and looks me with emotions filled in those dark eyes which were shining like stars. She softly touched my face like she couldn't believe if I was for real, the tip of her fingers softly and slowly stroking my face as she looks in my eyes while the tips of her fingers traced down till my chest leaving me with burning desires as she places her palm over my heart like she wants to feel how crazily my heart was beating beneath her touch. She rests her forehead on my chest as she wrapped her arms around my shoulder while her fingers caressed the back of my neck igniting the fire in me. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her closer while I leaned towards her as I raised her chin up with my index finger to see her face. Our noses touched as I leaned and brushed my lips against her cheek and then slowly traced down till her collar bone leaving feather kisses. A sigh escaped her lips as I buried my face in the crook of her neck holding her tight.
The music had stopped but none of us moved nor wanted to but a wave of cold air blew giving Mayaan a shiver. She slowly pulled back but I didn't let her go and gently hold the back of her neck as I leaned and rested my forehead on hers;
"Don't go... Stay with me"
It was a plead as I said even though I had promised myself of no more fighting with my fate but I couldn't hold my heart from feeling the beautiful things that only Mayaan is capable of doing to me and without thinking, I said the words I have been wanting to say.
She bit her lower lip while a tear escaped from her left eye and trailed down till the corner of her lips. I lean towards her face and kissed the tear while our lips lightly touched like a caress making my heart skip a beat - just a mere touch was intoxicating it made me wonder how would it be to kiss her for real and how would her lips taste. It seems my body has a mind of his own because the next thing I knew was leaning down as I wrapped my arms around her waist while Mayaan placed her palm on my chest in protest but before she could push me away - I finished the distance by a kiss. I heard her gasp as my lips met hers while she clenched the lapel of my jacket making me tightened my hold around her as I slowly kissed her savoring the taste of her sweet luscious lips. Her lips were sweet and soft just the way I had imagined. I had never felt butterflies or fireworks when I had kissed a girl but tonight kissing the love of my life, the only girl who's been the reason behind my fantasies was now in my arms and just a mere touch of her lips gave a shiver to my spine and awoken the butterflies which I never knew resided in my stomach. Tonight I gave up the fight and did what my heart desired for by kissing her and I felt my heart skipped a beat when she kissed me back while wrapping her arms around my neck pulling me closer. She melted as I deepened the kiss making her moan while the tips of her fingers slowly caressing my jaw. I groaned as I felt her soft body pressing against my hard muscles because now all I wanted was to shower her with my love and affection.
Both of us were out of breath as we slowly pulled back but Mayaan takes a step back like she was keeping distance between the two of us meanwhile another wave of cold air blew making me realize that it was cold but when she was in my arms the weather had no effect on me. The locks of her hair blew in the air and came on her face as she stepped back while her pink lips slightly parted and face flushed. Her breathing was ragged as she looked at me and gently touched her lips with tips of her finger. Regret and pain were all I could see in those pretty eyes as tears rushed through them like crystals.
I had never kissed a woman who belonged to another man but tonight when I saw her... every rule of my life was broken when I asked her for dance and kissed in a way I had never kissed a woman before.
I felt like a jerk for making her cry but deep down in my heart, I had no regrets for kissing her. Before I could speak she walked past me without making eye contact with me and left me standing alone. Leaving me with thousands of questions with her alluringly sweet scent, I looked up towards the sky;
"What are you planning to do with me?"
I said as I leaned back on the fence and closed my eyes but all I could see was her and feel the warmth of her body against mine.
*****
After staying in the balcony for a while then I left with grabbing my coat and walked out of the restaurant but I guess Tim saw me. The cold air was blowing meanwhile a thunder strikes in the sky, I was walking towards my car while my head was filled with her thoughts but all of a sudden someone pulled me back and the next I saw was a fist coming towards my face;
"Stay away from her or I will kill you with my own bare hands"
He said as he punches me hard and grabs my collar;
"You broke her heart once and I won't let it happen again,
do you hear me Mr. Githaini"
He said bitterly as he was about to hit me again but was stopped when someone pushed him back and stood in front of me like a shield;
"So now your bodyguard will protect you from me,
Han..."
He said as he steps towards Tim but before he starts a fight with Tim I stopped him;
"Hit me as much as you wish to but remember one thing I won't stop loving her even if you kill me... go ahead shoot me"
I said as I came and stood in front of Tim who tried to pull me back while Jadlaan looked at me with confusion;
"Don't be confused Jadlaan... I give you the permission to pursue your wish because believe me even I don't want this life anymore in which I see her with another man"
I said looking straight in his eyes;
"What made you think she is with another man?"
Jadlaan questioned frustratingly;
"She is with y..."
"Jadlaan... here you are, I was looking for you everywhere"
I was interrupted by Mayaan who came in the parking lot completely ignoring my presence like I didn't even existed and stood behind Jadlaan. She holds his hand making my heart clench;
"Let's go home..."
She requests but Jadlaan shook his head as he turns to face her;
"Mayaan, tell him the truth because he thinks you have someone else in your life..."
He said as he shrugs her by her shoulder.
Mayaan glances in my direction over his shoulder but quickly averted her gaze before I could speak or ask her she pulls Jadlaan to leave but he removes her hand;
"Tell him the truth Mayaan, tell this selfish man about the struggles you have been through and the pain you bared for this man...,
tell him why are you wearing this fake engagement ring"
Jadlaan said as he takes her left hand and points towards the ring. Mayaan bits her lower as she takes a step back while slowly pulling her hand from his grip;
"It's getting late Jadlaan, let's go home... I am tired"
She ignores the question with a plead in her eyes as she turns to walk away but I grabbed her hand;
"Why are you wearing a fake engagement ring Mayaan?"
I asked her confusedly but she pushed me back;
"It's none of your business, that what kind of ring I wear"
She said and turned to leave but I stopped her by wrapping my arms around her and pinned her against my car;
"I am not letting you go without answering my question, scream, yell... do whatever you wish to but I promise I am not letting you go until I get the answer"
I said firmly.
Tim and guards stood in front of Jadlaan not letting him interrupt us;
"You have no right to know about my life or with whom I am engaged and you have no right to know that is it a real or fake engagement ring because you lost every right on me, do you get me ... now let me go"
She said as she struggled while trying to remove my arms but my hold grew tight around her;
"I have no right, then what will you say about the thing that happened between us a while ago because after that I have every right to know why you are faking about this engagement ring and if you don't have a fiance then why are you lying because deep down you can't deny the feelings we have for each other are mutual..."
I said as I cupped her jaw with my one hand while slowly caressing her chin with the back of my thumb;
"It was a mistake... "
She said slowly as tears drizzled from her eyes while her lips whimpered as she looked me in the eyes pain making my heart ache;
"If you think I have feelings for you after the thing that happened... then... then let me make it clear... it was a... a mistake, a big and sinful mistake of my life for letting you... kiss me..."
She said the last part in a whisper but I guess everyone heard because Tim and Jadlaan cleared their throats. Mayaan clenches my shirt with her hands as she added with hate;
"I never repeat my mistakes and you are one of them which will never happen again, you may have forgotten the sins of your past but I can't forget the thing that happened in our past..."
She said in low voice with hatred in those eyes.
Her words hit me and it felt like a bullet went through my heart ripping it apart. My grip loosened around her;
"I can't forget the words you said about me, I can't forget a thing because it haunts me every moment reminding me of your betrayal and lies...,
I hate you for making my life a misery Omair al Ghithaini,
I hate you"
She said as she removed my arms slowly and runs away while Jadlaan rushed for her.
I made her life a misery,
She calls me her biggest mistake ...
She is going through pain only because of me and my sinful past...
I thought silently meanwhile Tim came and stood next to me with pity in those eyes for me. I shook my head and looked at Tim;
"I wish she could know that I hate myself more then anyone else does"
I said with a painful sigh.
*****
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