EXPLANATION.
Oh. My. Goodness.
Can someone please explain to me why those characters are, like, literally the basis of all these stories?
Actually, no. I have a better question. Who came up with the idea of an unpopular girl ending up with the school heartthrob and making an enemy out of whoever the head cheerleader (or popular girl) is?
Because I would rather read the original than read all the remakes that came after.
Like, guys. This is not a Spiderman movie. We’re not supposed to read a series of books and then decide to remake the same characters (except some with different names) afterwards like the first series never happened.
Man. Is that what Toby Maguire feels like? Someone stole his role?
I should send him a cookie or something.
Or a spider to bite him and make him Spiderman again.
. . . Nah, the cookie’s probably better.
Okay, so let’s get down to the reasons that last chapter was cliché.
. . .
“the nerd girl”
I always look like a nerd with my beautiful brown wavy hair that I always put in a ponytail and ocean-deep blue eyes which I hide underneath my glasses that aren’t even that big, and my thin but curvy figure that no one can see in my skinny jeans and tight t-shirts (but OMG I’m so fat), and my smooth clear skin even though I’m a teenager so obviously I should have some kind of acne somewhere, and also my witty personality that always attracts boys to me. I’m also really sarcastic and funny and everyone that I meet loves me.
So clearly I have no friends and I’m ugly.
Really. You’re friendless and ugly.
You sure?
Okay, first of all. Not all nerds wear glasses (and are gorgeous underneath them, for that matter), and not every girl out there is sarcastic and witty and funny. And I don’t really know where the being fat comes in . . . maybe in twenty years the weight will settle in or something, but for now. . . No.
Also, how can someone be a nerd if the author never shows them studying, or raising their hand in class, or even taking a test? They also don’t show the character being awkward, and they actually dress stylishly. Do these authors know what a nerd is?
And, I’m sorry, but you just can’t be invisible when you describe yourself as a freaking supermodel. Can people please stop trying to make pretty girls who know they’re hot seem like nerds who will eventually get turned into pretty girls after some kind of epic makeover anyway?
I mean you can keep the epic makeover because that’s not entirely unrealistic. And sure, you can have them be portrayed as a pretty celebrity in your cast. Because hey, this is fiction. Who cares if Megan Fox is supposed to play an ugly girl? This is your story.
But don’t go and make them describe themselves as this really attractive girl, and then pretend they don’t know that curvy bodies with long hair and nice eyes are looked at as appealing.
I have enough beautiful females telling me how ugly they think they are all the time, even when they’re gorgeous and compared to them I look like a baked potato with string beans for legs.
I did not log onto Wattpad to read about more girls who think they’re ugly. I chose to read a book to escape my daily life and get engrossed in some other character’s life. So let’s get that out of the way.
And besides. If the description of “the nerd girl” that I wrote is what people consider ugly or nerdy, that would mean that most girls in real life (or at least the ones I know) are like trolls who have never seen sunlight.
And I like to think I’m not a troll.
And I’ve seen sunlight before.
. . .
“the player”
. . . You know what?
I’m going to skip this one for now. Because that’s an even larger topic. It probably needs its own chapter.
. . .
“the cheerleader”
. . . This too.
. . .
the scene
So, what is with this infatuation with everyone stopping what they’re doing once an attractive guy walks in, and parting like the Red Sea to let him walk through the crowd like he’s on a runway, while girls whisper about him?
Okay, I will admit, not all of that is untrue. I mean, if a girl sees a hot guy walk in while she’s with her friends, chances are, they could be whispering about him. I’m not even going to lie. Not every girl does this, but some do.
That, I guess, is understandable.
But um . . .
What about all the guys in the room?
I don’t know how many stories I’ve read where the author says that all the guys rolled their eyes at the popular hot guy, or that they looked at him with envy, but I can tell you there are a lot.
And, I’m sorry, but this doesn’t happen.
It’s actually more likely that the guys are friends with the hot kid. So they wouldn’t be gaping at him when he walked into the parking lot, they’d continue their conversations normally, and then probably say hey to the guy and then let him join the conversation.
Or, if he was new, it’s not too far out there to think the guy would make a friend. A guy friend.
Why do they always have to attack the girls the minute they walk in; can’t they say hi to the guys, too?
What is this, The Bachelor?
No.
On another note, why is it that every time the main character bumps into the love interest, they describe it as bumping into a wall?
I know guys that feel like squishy teddy bears when I bump into them, and they’re still really strong and built. They’re still on sports teams. Not every guy is built with a six-pack, and even though this is fiction, we writers are kind of making it seem like if the guy didn’t have a six-pack, the girl wouldn’t have even paid attention to him.
So . . . kind of makes us seem a little shallow, don’t you think?
I wish people would be more diverse with their stories and characters. I think it’s going to start getting annoying to read the same thing over and over again.
Oh wait! That’s why I’m writing this.
Well.
Explains a lot.
And, let me ask you something to further explain my point, to all you John Green readers, if some of you are reading this. Or anyone who’s read Divergent. Or the Hunger Games.
Haven’t you realized that these books mostly only have one really good-looking character?
In The Fault in Our Stars, Hazel Grace does not describe herself as beautiful. She doesn’t get a complete beauty makeover with makeup and extensions and the like. One of the reasons that she and Augustus (the one really good-looking character) have a relationship people think is interesting is that he thought she was beautiful when she was plain; her, with the nose tubes and oxygen tank trailing behind her.
In Divergent, Tris doesn’t describe herself as beautiful either. She looks like a twelve year old girl, and she’s supposed to be sixteen. Which is what makes the fact that Four (the good-looking character) likes her, and that she’s so good at what she does, an even bigger deal.
And like Divergent, the Hunger Games practically describes Katniss as the opposite of pretty. She wears some epic clothing, but she never describes herself as gorgeous, or gives herself confident and attractive descriptions; she’s described realistically. And then there’s Gale, the good-looking one (as declared in the book), and Peeta. The baker, who got through the competition camouflaging himself with artwork. You can’t tell me that that’s not different.
I personally think that we jump the gun a little.
The only time everyone is really hot is when we get to Hollywood.
Because then all the hot people get cast into roles.
Since, you know.
We sunlight-deprived trolls like watching gorgeous people on TV.
So we can stare at them.
And have our daily dose of stalkage.
Think about it. If everyone was hot, then being hot would be seen as being average-looking. Now that would suck.
Because then a baked potato with string beans for legs—a.k.a. me—would have to . . . I don’t know. Boil itself or something—a.k.a. put on makeup—to make itself seem average.
And that . . .
See, that’s a lot of work.
* * *
*looks back at story chapter*
*sees 19 comments already*
*flips out and accidentally spills cereal on laptop*
*goes and gets monkey to eat cereal off laptop*
c:
. . .Ummm.
So this is a day late.
Since I tried to save the chapter I wrote and then my laptop shut off.
But whatever.
Did you spot the clichés?
'AwesomelyBlaze