Naima meant what she said to Tawfiq.
Every weekend, Aunt Faiza would send Karim to the park to meet Tawfiq. The house was out of bounds to him.
Naima had still not opened the box he had given her two weeks ago. She didn't want to.
But today something made her take the small box from the shelf. It was on top of Karim's admission to Valley View Kindergarten. Yes. He had started Kindergarten in Valley View. She saw their stay in Valley View to last longer.
She picked up the box and placed it on her bed. She looked at the box carefully. Like a foreign object. She wanted to guess what it was.
Naima didn't want it to be a fancy present. It would make her angry. He would be showing off the amount of money he had since he was a prince.
Naima wanted to talk to someone so bad about everything going on, but no matter how much he had hurt her, she wasn't ready to be the one to reveal his secrets to the world.
She had Googled him one time. Okay a few times.
It was only scanty information on him. His age and a little biography and how he was AWOL at the moment. There were no current pictures of him anywhere. That was why he was always against posting pictures of him on any social media. He didn't even have any social account to begin with.
Most of his pictures were when he was a young boy with brown hair-surprisingly another lie. When he grew up though, there were just a few side pictures of him. He mostly had people around him and covered his face with his hands. Typical Tawfiq.
Never the attention seeker.
No wonder he chose to come to Wyoming. Far from New York and Miami and Washington. Far from the spotlight.
She took the box quickly from the bed and started to unwrap it. After she had unwrapped it, it revealed a little black box. She raised the lid to see a...Pen?
Really? A pen? What did he want her to do with a pen? Write a letter to him?
The pen was gold and black in color.
Naima took the pen out to examine it. What was he trying to say by giving her a pen? She twirled the pen in her hand.
That's when something caught her attention. It looked like a small switch.
Ya Allah, it was a recording device.
Was he spying on her?
But the switch was off?
And it was in a box. No matter how much she didn't trust him now, she knew deep down in her heart that Tawfiq would never do something so low as spying on her.
What would he even gain from it?
She opened the pen up into its two parts and saw a memory card sticking out from the other end. She was getting confused right now.
What was he trying to say to her?
He did tell her to listen to it when he gave it to her.
Why couldn't he say it directly to her? She took the card out.
"What to do, what to do,..." She chanted.
She decided, if he had given it to her then she could do anything she wanted with it.
She put the card into her phone and opened the file on it.
It only had one main file. It read... Log
When she opened it, it showed more than 300 audio files.
"What on God's green Earth? He's been making logs all that time?" Naima was surprised to say the least.
Tawfiq didn't seem like someone who would speak into a pen to record himself. But what did she know about him really?
She plugged in her earpiece and opened the first file.
Log 1
So... Log 1. I think. This is stupid. Why would dad let me even do this? Why would I even listen to him and do this?
It was Tawfiq's voice. Just not as heavy as it was now. It sounded younger. She checked the date and it read 11 years ago.
She opened the next one.
Log 2
This is girlish. It's like a diary. It's not worth time. But dad wants me to. He even insists. It's the least I can do. Someone help me.
The next few ones were him trying to avoid using the recording device. But on the 13th log something changed.
Log 13
She wants us to go our separate ways. She supposedly can't handle the pressure. I am trying to change her mind.
Log 14
She's gone. She sent me a letter. I looked for her everywhere. What should I do? Ya Allah, help me.
Log 15
My mom is trying to set me up with one of her friend's daughter. She is nice but I don't want to marry her anytime soon. Or at all.
The next five logs were on how his mother was pestering his life and how he was being forced to accept the girl.
Log 21
So she left because of my mom. I should have known. She must have pressured her until she caved. It's always her fault.
Log 22
I hate this responsibility I'm supposed to carry. I don't want to be King. I hate this. I just want to be me.
Log 23
Dad isn't in agreement with me at all but he respects my decision. Mom. Well. She might never understand it. But I don't think I care.
There was a time gap where nothing was recorded for a few weeks but after that the logs continued.
Log 24
I'm leaving the country. I'm starting a new life, away from home. Mom thinks I'm going to learn how to rule. She's in for a shock.
Log 25
I've arrived in America. Well, Wyoming to be precise. I'm going to keep a low profile. I hope no one notices me. Hopefully they don't know about me or my family. I might have to change my hair color if it comes down to it.
Log 26
I met a new family. They invited me over after I helped their child. I think their house is better than the hotel. I will miss the grassland and my horse though
The following ones were about him getting used to living in the states and starting school, also about buying his new house and everything.
The audio really seemed to explain everything.
Naima understood why he left home now. He had his reasons. Yes, he didn't want to ascend the throne and she wasn't against his decision at all.
She just didn't understand why he would lie for so long. Why he didn't even try to tell her the truth after they got married.
Log 50
I met someone new today. I don't know her name yet but she seems tough and I think I'll keep on calling her Habiba. She doesn't like it though. But she looks cute when she's fussing about it. She dealt with Lacey very well and landed up in Detention with me. Should I say Alhamdulilah?
She got stuck in the rain so I had to send her home but I think something was wrong between her and her dad. I do hope she is fine. Even though I was honestly hurt by how she just brushed me off after I only tried to help her.
This was the first time he had mentioned her. It was like Naima was listening to his thoughts. She never knew he was that hurt when she brushed him off that night.
Log 51
Something seems wrong. Habiba hasn't been in school for a while now. And I don't see her anytime I pass by her house.
Yes! So she wasn't imagining it. He had passed by her house when she was at home after her father hit her.
Log 52
So I know I'm not supposed to but I investigated on Habiba or should I say Naima.
Log 53
She was hurt. Because of me. And she also blamed me for everything that had happened to her. What exactly has she gone through?
And my God, her mother's death anniversary is the same day as my birthday. Damn it. What do I do if she asks me when my birthday is? Do I lie? In other good news, her stepmother invited me over. She finally willingly told me about herself though. I don't know if I should tell her about me. She seems trustworthy. But. It's risky though. This is supposed to be my new life. I can't bring in the past I left behind.
Naima couldn't breathe. He was literally making her listen to everything about him. So he had contemplated telling her about him even before they got married. Why didn't he? Did he hate his past life that much?
Log 79
She almost found out about me. Luckily, she thought I was a serial killer that killed Lacey and made her disappear after the incident. Lacey deserves more than she got. I was lenient with her. I could have sent her whole life down the drain for what she did to my Habiba. Dean and Salim think it is wise to tell her the truth because they believe I'm falling for her. Am I? She's just a friend I want to keep close and protect. Right?
Had he liked her for that long? All that time she was sure Tawfiq could never actually like her.
He had also wanted to tell the truth. What was holding him back?
Log 80
I just found out Habiba is the mascot of the football team. My anger got the best of me and we got into an argument. Turns out she knows more about me than I thought. I think Dean is right. I think I'm falling and fast. This wasn't the plan.
Log 81
I'm so sorry, Habiba. I might have fully paid for her entire tuition at Boston University. Under false pretense of course. She would never accept if I said I'd cover her tuition. I did have to talk with the chancellor of the school so they'd not reveal me. I couldn't let her go to the community College and be so far from me. I just couldn't.
Ya Allah, I've fallen.
Wait. What?
All that time. She had thought she had been lucky to have been chosen by a random old woman to attend a school which somehow managed to be in the same state as Tawfiq and the others were going to. She had never heard of any scheme like Scout for Brilliance. Neither had any other site. And everytime she enquired from the school, this old woman was always unavailable. Even for a second just for Naima to thank her.
She should have known something was fishy. What else had he done for her that she didn't know of?
Log 82
Dean thinks it's wise to tell her the truth now. What if she leaves? They always leave. I need her to see me as just me and not some random prince with millions of responsibilities. I want her to love me just as Tawfiq and not Crown Prince Tawfiq.
Why did he think she'd leave him because he was a prince? Is it because of the girl he spoke of in the beginning? Was she the her he spoke of when she left California?
Log 83
It's her birthday. Everyone made me sing for her. I hate singing. It's dumb. But. She liked it though and I'm glad I sung for her. No matter how dumb it is to me, I'll sing for her anytime she wants. I goy her a 24k bracelet as a promise. I really hope she doesn't know it's 24k. Habiba would freak.
It was true. Hasia was right after all. It was real gold.
Naima wasn't shocked. After all, he was a prince. Which explained his extravagant spendings. He wasn't one to waste money on useless things but if he liked something, he'd get the best of the thing no matter the price.
Log 84
I'm avoiding my birthday. It will be a sad day for her and I can't afford to see her cry. Or worse, force a smile on for me.
Log 85
Habiba knew it was my birthday. That's why she asked me to meet her. Salim had told her. And I may or may not have asked her about marriage...with me. Dear God, what was I thinking?
I also talked to Farhana today after a brief-very annoying chat with my mother. I miss my sister so much. Naima has my jacket because she was being stubborn and got us stuck in the rain. I think I'm going to end up sick.
Log 86
John's dead. Dean's gone and I may have proposed to Naima and got rejected. Yes. Ouch. Well, she told me to ask her after she graduates from university. It's still rejection according to me. She could have moved in with me if we got married now. Yes. I'm too far gone. I also told her about Dean's life, I just couldn't find it in me to tell her the ful truth about me. I don't want her to leave or feel burdened. I'm not going back to that life. And...I hugged her...
Log 87
I coerced her into coming with me to Wyoming. With the help of Belinda of course. I even opted to pay for their flight ticket but Belinda refused and said she'd cover it. I also think Naima refused as well. Women. Habiba is afraid of planes. If I had known, I wouldn't have coerced her to come. Harriet is a mess from John's death. We all are. But she advised me on how to go about with my proposal to Habiba. 3 years of space? Can someone kill me now? I'll resurrect in 3 days...years.
God. What exactly did Tawfiq do that she didn't know of yet?
Log 88
Wow. 3 years. Why did I agree to go with Harriet's idea? But she's right. I'd hate to do anything haram. Space is better for us. Me. Habiba seems like the stronger one between us. It's only just been a month of silence between us and I feel like dying already. I'm not going to survive.
He did suffer in those 3 years, didn't he?
It still didn't justify all the lies.
Nothing did.
She was tired of listening to the logs. It was almost 6pm. If she had prayers, she would have missed Zuhr and Asr from listening to all those logs.
Karim was out with Aunt Faiza so the house was quiet.
She closed her eyes and fell asleep.
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I hope you enjoyed this. I'm trying to explain Tawfiq's life a little bit in the logs. I hope you like the idea
It's short but eh🤷♀️🙄
Ciao🚶♀️