4 Days Later...
"June!" Mary yells, waving me over. "Come here!"
The hospital is empty this lovely morning, and I couldn't be more gracious. For goodness sake, I worked 20 hours between the last two days. Working more for my sanity rather than anything, the hospital's been therapy for me, I had the chance to distract myself from Michael, and Tommy, and Polly, and whatever the hell else I've been stressing about. My eyes are constantly on the emergency room doors just in case I find Michael being wheeled in.
I head towards Mary, who sits at the cafeteria with her sandwich, she hands me mine. "It's' tuna today," She says chewing on hers.
I move to the fridge and pull it open, that's for dinner tonight. Mr. Kurt and his lover have taken a trip to London together, he promised to take Jojo with him. When he got home the day I finished talking to Tommy, he had noticed that something was odd about me. So he just made me my favourite dessert —apple pie and we had red wine.
"Still no answer from your boy?" She asks, mid chew.
I sigh, "Still no answer."
I had lied of course and told Mary that Michael had gone away on business, not that he was on a hiatus, running from the Italians and indefinitely going to murder Hughes, our former pedophile rapist, scum bag. He was to call me, I told Mary, call me and tell me when he was coming back, or if he was.
"Hows your son?" I shut the fridge and turn to the table. I pick up one of her carrot sticks and munch on it, making my way to the door. I'm cleared to leave soon, and if Dawson catches me in the break room, she'll have a bloody fit.
"Oh he's alright." She waves me off. "Teenage, bratty kid. Smells like body odour and cigarettes. Caught him stroking his co-"
"Whoa!" I laugh, "Mary, you can't tell me these things, love. I met Paul when he was a baby." I shiver, disgusted.
"I need you to feel my pain," She pleads, covering her face with her hands, she laughs. "Oh, Juney, it was absolutely disgusting." She says through giggles.
"I can imagine, you poor thing. I'm going to do my notes, ay, thanks for the dinner."
"You're welcome sweetie. Anytime." She smiles.
I step out of the room, and instantly crash into
something stronger than expected. Almost falling back, strong arms grab me, making sure I don't drop. I look up at him and instantly feel my heart rate increase.
"Michael!" I blurt out, grabbing the attention of people. I look around him and see no guards.
I place my hands on his arms, but he pulls away. That's the first sign that makes me wary of what's to come. He watches me intently, my hands fall to my sides.
"Can we talk?"
"S-sure," I look at him for a second and see that he is not well. The second sign is much worse, my stomach knots up. "I'm done in ten minutes is that alr-"
"Yeah," He shoves his hands into his pockets. "I'll wait outside."
Michael walks away without another word being exchanged, and I prepare myself for whats to come. He's out of my reach, and out of my sight, so I turn to my patient and tend to them. But my mind is occupied.
I find him in the back of the hospital, standing by the ship docks, overlooking the river that birds squawk in, in search for fish. It's a beautiful day today, one that is so beautiful He's got his back to me, but the second my shoe crushes a branch, he flinches, turning around to face me.
He stands before me. His eyes a distant green, he looks stressed, his eyes telling me that he hasn't slept. And the way he slouches over himself makes me wonder if he's sober. Michael has great posture. I frown, my eyebrows pulling together.
"Is everything ok?" I ask quietly, slowly, scared of what his answer might be.
I take my time to look around his features, making sure everything is still in place. And it is, he's not got a single scratch on his face.
He clears his throat."June, we need to talk."
"So talk!" I'm exasperated.
I turn to look at the water as the sun makes the water glisten, sparkle even. I listen intently to his words, but don't let myself react. I know it hurts, and I know my body is trembling. But how can I show these emotions? How can I, when its such a beautiful day. And I'm here, alive, and well. I shouldn't be sad, perhaps this will be good.
"This isn't going to work any longer."
I stare blankly at him, wondering if Tommy had gotten to him.
"Do you hear me?" He sounds unsteady, "This isn't going to work. We can't be together."
"God," I scoff, "I wonder how many times you've rehearsed that because it still sounds stiff."
He grabs my hands, pulling me to look at him. I stare into his eyes, green, but a tinge darker. I suck in my breath, moving my eyes from each one of his.
"We need to stop."
"Why?" I ask, "What happened?"
He ducks his head down, exhaling.
"Hmm? What happened?" I reach for him, pressing my hand against the side of his face, I lift his face up, and he lets me lean in. "Tell me. Talk to me. Let me in."
Pain flashes across his face as he lets me in, "June it was-" He shakes his head, and then it all just stops.
He grabs my wrists and forces me off of him, taking a step back as if I'm the enemy.
He reaches into his pocket and fetches out a thin and long piece of paper and hands it to me, "I got you this," He says in a hurry, I take it in my hands and look down, my eyes instantly watering as I finish reading the the ticket.
My mouth nearly hits the floor. "A oneway train ticket to London?"
When I look back up at him he has tears in his eyes, he has his hand out again, and an envelope of cash sits in it. I push it back into him, taking a step back. He's telling me to leave the fucking city?
"I know I'm the one who started this with you, June. I know I'm the one who asked you to stay with me, but if you stay, your protection won't be ensured."
"That's it! The going gets tough and you-you give up?" I ask him, my voice louder than anticipated. "Who talked to you?!" I shout, "Was it Thomas?"
"He mentioned Grace, and how he wished he never did the selfish act of making her his wife. He said the day she died, a part of him died with her-"
"Bullshit!" I almost blurt out the fact that he gave me an ultimatum, join the family gang or he'll make sure Michael ends the relationship we have. My feet move without warning and I walk towards the end of the pavement, I'm a step away from the water before I throw the paper ticket away into the water.
"June!" He shouts, "What the-"
"Fuck you!" I say through gritted teeth, I begin to cry. Tears rolling down my cheeks. "And fuck you for coming back into my life!" I sniffle, letting out a sob before his strong arms around my body. He embraces me, but it only makes me cry louder.
"I was heartbroken!" I say against his chest. "I was heartbroken when you left and then, after I finally forget, you come back to me, and now!" I hiccup, sobbing uncontrollably, "Now everything hurts again." I weakly try to push myself off of him, but I fail.
His arms are much more stronger than I ever imagined. He holds me against him, sniffling every now and again.
"You'll find someone, I know it." He mumbles. "Just one look at you and blokes will come running your way."
I glance up at him, "I don't want anyone else." Hooking my fingers against his coat, I pull slightly. Shaking my head, "I only want you, Michael."
His eyes twinkled with hope, but that frown on his face tells me otherwise. "You'll find someone good. Someone who won't come home to you with a emptied gun and smelling of too much whiskey. Someone who'll help you forget about everything that happened with me, and with the orphanage." He smiles small. "Someone who'll give you lots to love."
My eyes linger long and hard at him. I can tell he'll spend so many sleepless nights thinking about me, as will I. What is he talking about?
"If you love me, you'd fight for me." I whisper. Trying more and more to win him back. "Fight for us."
He grabs my face, his warm hands pressing against my cheeks. "I am fighting." He shakes me, "Don't you see that?"
"No!" I shout, ripping myself from his touch. "I see a coward! And a man who'll leave me, to join that family who only want to hurt you!" I pull away, biting on my bottom lip. "They will never try to uplift you, they'll only drag you down with them." I state. "And if you can't see that, then you're not the same person I knew and loved in the orphanage."
He clamps his mouth shut, biting down so hard.
"You probably don't even know what your cousin said to me." I tell him softly.
"What are you talking about?"
"Asking me to join the Peaky Blinders as a part time nurse of some sort." I pout, "And when I refused, he said he was going to talk you out of being with me." I add honestly. "He told me to back away from you, otherwise he'll lie, tell you some bullshit about me being a spy or that I had some sort of affair with him."
"He did?"
I nod, "Because he's afraid of what I'm doing to you,"
"And what are you doing to me?"
I walk towards him. "I'm making you feel loved. Really loved, and good, and human."
He shakes his head, trying to push me away, but I continue. Knowing I'm my words are grappling him.
"Don't you love me, Michael?"
"Of course I love you," He states. "Ever since I laid my eyes on you."
"Then let's go away, you and I. Maybe not forever but-"
"June-"
"But even for a little. Somewhere close, where you can still phone your mum, and your uncles." I reach out for his hand and kiss his knuckles. "We can run away." I look at him through my lashes.
"Arthur and his wife are goin' away too." He whispers, and there it is, the only hope I need.
I touch the side of his face, kissing him softly before pulling away for a second. "You and I could do the same," I whisper, "Escape the madness."
"God-June," He breathes painfully. "The accounting,"
"You could still do it, mail the papers in."
He runs his hand through my hair, gritting his teeth. "What have you got me thinkin' about?"
"Freedom, happiness, love." A tear rolls down my cheek, I press my forehead to his. "You set my world on fire, and this is what you want to do." I whisper against his lips. "Leave me here, burning?"
"No." He shakes his head, "Never."
Another glimpse of hope. He leans in to kiss me before groaning, I open my eyes.
"My money is with Tommy,"
"Then lets go get it." I tell him. "Together."
"You sure?" He asks, "Everyone'll be there?"
"Unless you don't want me to.." I totally respect that.
"No I do, I just, I don't want you to feel-"
"I'm fine," I don't sound fine, I'm sure the moment I lay eyes on that sneaky arsehole Tommy, I might kill him.
Michael takes my hand and kisses the side of my face. "Where do you reckon we'll go?"
I smile at the thought of us running off together. "Wherever you like.." I rest my head on his arm, "Somewhere peaceful, secluded even."
"Peace and quiet?" He asks, and I nod against his arm. We walk in silence, "That sounds good."
Oh Michael, what happened to you?
I decide to let silence loom between us because I'm more than tired. And although I desperately want to ask him about Hughes, and the Italians. I want to ask him about how it all went, but nothing feels better than this moment right now. Of me knowing he's still mine, and that I'm still his. And that there is still so much hope, and love, and happiness.