The next day, I feel a bit better on my way to school. I'm not dreading to go there, not scared to meet with a certain boy. I don't fear another day full of drama and potential outbursts.
After our talk yesterday, I feel like it can only go better from now on. If I ever react the way I do, Hyunin will understand where it comes from. To him, it doesn't look like I just hate him and act mean for no apparent reason.
And maybe he even keeps his distance from me. I really hope he does. I'm fine with a little casual exchange of words once or twice a day but that's about it. I can greet him without death glares, I won't yell at him in the locker hall again.
But the talk we had yesterday doesn't change how I think about him. It's not like I trust him all of a sudden. I'm not planning to let him any closer as necessary for Felix to feel good.
Just close enough to make things work out, nothing more nothing less.
The boy is waiting for us at the school's entrance gate. The same colorful scarf is wrapped around his neck and the same colorful gloves cover his hands. Several girls swarm around him and their high voices calling him oppa piss me off within mere seconds.
"Time to get lost," I huff as I come within hearing distance.
They all collectively turn in my direction but their expressions are all different. Some are looking at me with wide eyes. Others are angry, their mouths carved into nasty scowls as soon as they see me. Others are somewhere in between.
But they all stopped talking and Hyunjin seems relieved as he quickly walks over to us. That boy is too nice for his own good, always replying to his fangirls with his never-ending smile and politeness. Just leaving them behind without a valid reason isn't something he would do. So he just endures it, until a good reason to go away appears. Most of the times, it's the appearance of Felix or me.
The looks of the girls are priceless as Hyunjin walks over to us without a second thought. Their look is one of betrayal, as if the raven-haired boy actually committed to them or something like that.
For them, it's unacceptable that he chooses us over them.
Hyunjin doesn't greet us with a polite bow anymore. He's loosened up a lot and now I watch how he and Felix perform some kind of creative handshake that seems far too complicated to me.
"You're getting better, hyung" Felix proudly states as they're finished.
Then Hyunjin turns to me and he just smiles awkwardly. I can only guess that he's thinking back to that moment in the maintenance shed yesterday. My cheeks instantly flush red as I think about his arms around me and I hide my embarrassment with a seemingly unbothered expression.
"Morning, Hwang," I greet him.
"Good morning, Lee," he returns.
Felix lets out an exaggerated groan, one so loud that several students stop to check if everything's okay over here. They go back to their business as soon as they realize it's just the school's drama queen being dramatic.
"You know, calling each other by the last name is really cringy," he scoffs, folding his arms in front of his chest.
"My dear Felix, you do realize I have to call him oppa if I don't? He's older," I complain with a troubled look. Whoever turned oppa into a cringy word as it is now shouldn't be too proud.
"Just call me Hyunjin then," the boy walking in between us shrugs. "I don't care, there are too many girls calling me oppa already."
"Well, that's settled then, Hyunjin," I state, frowning the moment his name leaves my lips. Even though his name haunted my mind for over a hundred times already, it feels weird to pronounce it, especially when it's directed at the boy himself.
Hyunjin lets out an awkward chuckle. "That's right, Chaelin."
I mentally flinch as the older boy pronounces my name. It's even weirder than calling him by his name. My name doesn't sound like just my name when he says it. Hearing him say it makes it sound like something strange, something foreign.
Felix heaves out a heavy sigh as he slams his hand against his forehead. His expression is pained, almost yelling at us to stop this.
"Yah, stop it," he exclaims, gripping his bright orange hair with his fingers in mocking desperation. "School hasn't even started yet and you're already making it too awkward to handle. It's hurting my eyes to watch the two of you."
"Then don't watch," I retort. Hyunjin snorts and I can't help but laugh along as Felix gives us a look of betrayal.
But then I quickly grab a hold of myself again. It's getting a bit out of hand, I shouldn't let myself go like that.
This is as close as you will get, Hwang Hyunjin.
And with that, the three of us walk through the hallways, heading to our first class. A lot of longing gazes follow us. Girls that envy me for walking next to Hyunjin, boys that envy Felix because he befriended the boy.
It's almost sad how the spot next to Hyunjin is taken by a girl that doesn't even care about being close to him. It's such a waste.
But no one deserves the spot as Hyunjin's best friend like Felix does. They're a perfect match made in the friendship-heaven. They both bring out the best in each other. And maybe the most important thing, Felix seems really happy since he met Hyunjin.
Hyunjin and I are just making things awkward and complicated for each other.
Talking about something awkward, I just realized the first class is math class. I have to sit next to Hyunjin and he's supposed to explain the math problems I don't understand, which is basically all of them.
It's quiet as I sit down in my usual seat and smack my bag onto the table. But the classroom is filled with outraged whispers as Hyunjin takes place in the seat next to mine. I don't have to turn around to know that they're looking at me, I feel their eyes burning in my back.
Hyunjin notices too, apparently. He turns towards me and flashes me an apologetic smile. One that I don't return. I just stare at my textbook in front of me, softly nibbling my lower lip. Why does he always have to smile at me?
"Hello class," Mrs. Han greets us as the whispers have died down again. The entire class returns her greeting with a small bow and then she continues. "Today you'll be working in silence, preparing for the upcoming test."
The class groans in unison. Working in silence is torture to them. It makes a math class even more boring than it already is. Earbuds are strictly forbidden during class so that isn't an option, either. I, on the other hand, like working in silence. Just a moment without any noise besides the soft scraping of a pen on paper and pages being flipped over.
But then Mrs. Han approaches our table.
"Mr. Hwang, Miss Lee," she calls out and immediately, the entire class is looking at us.
"I want you to go to the library to work on your math, I'm afraid Miss Lee won't pass the next test without your help, Mr. Hwang."
The class collectively gasps, and for once I join the hype and gasp, too. This is bad in all the ways you look at it. Bad, because I'm alone with Hyunjin again. Bad, because we have to talk a lot. Bad, because the entire class will hate me even more now. Bad, because Hyunjin's fan club will start an anti-Chaelin club right after this class. Well, I might pass the next math test after this, but that'll be the only good thing to come from this.
"Yes, ma'am," Hyunjin replies with a quick bow. Whispers erupt from our classmates again and this time, the boy seems to grow annoyed by them. His brows are knitted together in a slight frown as he puts his textbook back in his bag and I quickly do the same.
We both rise from our seats and I catch a glimpse of Felix behind us, grinning like a madman. Not paying my crazy friend any attention, I bow at Mrs. Han before leaving the classroom with Hyunjin right behind me. Before he closes the door, I actually hear some girls whining that he shouldn't leave with me and Hyunjin sighs.
And then we walk towards the school's library in silence.
Come to think of it, I was actually looking forward to a class in silence. Seems like I'm out of luck again.
--
What have I gotten myself into? I suck at math, don't understand a single thing of it. And now I'm supposed to write a scene of somebody helping with math problems and I have no idea how I'm going to pull that off >///<