||𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑'𝐒 𝐏𝐎𝐕||
The boys and I finally make it to school; my legs are always exhausted by the time we reach the student drop off.
I hear the bell ring when we park our bikes.
"That's weird. I don't see him." Mike finally says what we've all been thinking. 'Where the hell is Will?' Personally, I'm starting to get really worried.
"I'm telling you. His mom's right. He probably just went to class early again."
I always admired how Lucas can always be so optimistic... in a way. He's really good at keeping the party level-headed. I tend to worry a lot so it's nice to have a friend like Lucas to keep my feet on the ground.
"Yeah, he's always paranoid Gursky's gonna give him another pop quiz."
"Well, I don't blame him. Gursky gives ME pop quizzes all the time. It's exhausting. Never knowing when you will be put on the spot" I say.
"Step right up, ladies and gentlemen."
'Oh just perfect. Troy and his goon'
"Step right up and get your tickets for the freak show," Troy says smugly.
I click my tongue and shake my head in a mocking tone. "Oh, sorry boys but we actually can't make it today. By any chance, can we catch your act tomorrow?" I bat my eyelashes at them in innocence, and I earned a few chuckles from Lucas, Mike, and Dustin.
Troy's face scrunched up in anger, clearly offended by my comeback.
"Hey, no one asked you, bitch!"
I roll my eyes at his cheap insult. However, the boys were having none of it, especially Dustin, as usual. They get into a threatening stance, while Dustin tries to lunge for them, but I put my arm out to stop them before they can even do anything.
"Guys, just ignore them. It doesn't matter to me, they're not worth it."
"So who do you think would make more money in a freak show anyway?" Troy continues, addressing his goon.
'Oh, I hate him. I really hate him.'
"Midnight," he punches Lucas. I clench my fists.
'Did I mention I hate him?'
"Frogface," he punches Mike. I clench my jaw.
"Orphan" he punched me. I took a deep breath trying to control my anger.
"Or toothless?" He shoves Dustin.
It's taking everything in me not to tackle him right now. I've always been like this. Whenever someone insults me, I'm able to brush it off, but as soon as someone goes after the people I care about, I lose it. Big time.
His goon sighs and holds his hand to his chin as he pretends to think about it while he looks at all of us. He then stops at Dustin and singles him out, in a voice that's clearly supposed to be Dustin's.
"I'd go with Toothless." My nails are probably drawing blood from my palms at this point.
"I told you a million times, my teeth are coming in. It's called cleidocranial dysplasia." Dustin says.
"I th'old you a million th'imes" he continues.
"Screw you!" I shout, lunging for him. But before my fist could actually reach his face Dustin goes to stop me, much like how I did a few moments ago.
"Y/n, you were right. They aren't worth it."
They just laugh smugly in response. I grit my teeth and cross my arms.
"Do the arm thing."
"Do it, freak!"
"OH, I swear to GOD," I go to charge at him but Mike pulls me back and pats my back trying to calm me down. I glare daggers at the boys in front of me. I swear I'm seeing red.
"Y/n, it's fine. Look, here" he sighs and puts down his backpack and takes off his jacket. He then extends his arms out and you can hear his bones crack. He then looks to the bullies pointedly and says,
"There, I did it. Will you leave us alone now?"
The bullies groan in disgust and Troy says, "UGH. It gets me every time!" They then shove us aside roughly and walk away.
"Assholes" Lucas beat me to it.
"I think it's kinda cool." Mike offers. "It's like you have superpowers or something. Like Mr. Fantastic."
"Yeah, except I can't fight evil with it."
⊹ ⊹ ⊹
{Trigger Warning for Anxiety Attacks}
Troy and his friend had just left us alone, so the four of us began making our way to class. As we walk through the hallways, the three boys end up walking in a line next to each other while caught up in their conversation which at this point, had drifted to planning our next campaign. Normally I'd be all over it but I found myself drifting back and keeping to myself, my thoughts wandering to Will.
'I really hope he's okay. Ya know what? No, Lucas is right, as usual, he's got to be at class by now. He has to be.'
I try to push all the negative thoughts to the back of my mind as I try and focus on getting to the classroom as soon as possible just to prove to myself he's okay and I'm just overreacting. The four of us approach Mr. Clarke's room and I run ahead, no longer able to wait another second. I pop my head in the door and to my great dismay, he is nowhere to be seen. I take a deep breath, and stumble back, that familiar viscous feeling of a pit in my stomach. My anxiety is kicking in.
The boys look to each other in silence, all thinking the same thing.
'This is bad. Will would never skip. And he's not at home, so something must be very wrong.'
Before the boys get the chance to say anything, I slip away and walk quickly down the hall to the bathroom, my arms tucked into my sides defensively while my head is down. I always run to the bathroom to be alone when I have an anxiety attack. I can't be around people when it's this bad so I usually end up sitting in the stall, trying to calm down. The boys know I have anxiety attacks like this sometimes and I know they want to help, but they don't know how and that's fine.
When I reach the familiar stall, slam it shut and sit on the edge of the seat, not having enough room in my mind to care about the grossness of if all. bury my face in my hands and my elbows prop up on my knees. My breathing is ragged and my eyes become soaked in tears as panic takes over my body. That familiar feeling of nausea returning. The endless 'what ifs' begin flooding my mind without my permission.
'What if someone grabbed him?' 'What if he got hit by a car?' 'What if?' 'What if?' 'What if?'
I'm angry with myself for spiraling so soon when virtually nothing has happened. All the proof have is an empty seat! Instead, I try and run through all the good what ifs. What if he really did leave for school early and just got a flat bike tire? What if he's just in the freaking bathroom? How embarrassed would I be! Embarrassed, says a little voice inside me, bit relieved.
I try and keep myself thinking about the good 'what if's but I know it's not working- as surely as know the feeling sitting in my gut like a rock is telling me that something is deeply and terribly wrong.
Just the thought of never seeing my best friend ever again makes me want to wail. I'm rocking back and forth, arms hugging my torso when remember have to take deep breaths or I might pass out. I slow and try to remember to tell myself that don't have all the information and that there has got to be some sort of explanation for all this. That it's just my anxiety talking. I spend the next few minutes focusing on taking deep breathes, and after what feels like hours, am finally breathing normally.
I grab my bag which had been thrown to the grown during my attack and exit the stall. I stand in front of the mirror washing my hands and I look at my eyes. They are red and sore from all my crying. I reached down and splash some water on my face, and rub my eyes angrily. I get the remainder of the water off with a paper towel. As I look at my slightly improved reflection I take another deep breath and head to class. Pretending everything's normal and I hadn't just had a meltdown in the bathroom, as usual.
I pick up my pace as I shrug my shoulders to secure my backpack so it doesn't fall. I was lucky I was able to come down from my attack as quickly as I did because it seems I wasn't late like last time. It looks like I made it with just a minute to spare. I walk over to where the boys and I usually sit. I think twice before sitting down next to Dustin.
I know at this point the boys are aware of the state I'm in judging by the looks of sympathy they are giving me. The state of my eyes and the fact I didn't take my normal seat next to Will's probably gave me away. I decided to take the seat in front of my usual so I don't have stare at Will's empty seat and be worrying all class. So as they say, out of sight out of mind. While waiting for class to start I try and think of different things to keep my mind off of Will, and my mind wanders the new Heathkit ham shack that was supposed to have come today.