Aaina.
"I will not stand for the both of you coming here and yelling like bastards!"
Were the first words I heard as I entered the living room, my father in law's voice boomed out of his study. Both Ahad and Zaydaan inside with him.
Since he had arrived home late last night, we had decided to go tomorrow instead. While I was getting ready to spend the weekend with him, he was busy in a meeting with his father.
And clearly, something had angered the Prime Minister. I had hardly heard him yell before, not like that.
"And I will not stand for you controlling my life." I heard Ahad's voice.
I had never heard him sound so intense, it shocked me. My mother in law was sitting in the living room by herself, sighing and rolling her eyes after every few seconds.
She was dressed in a beautiful chiffon beige shalwar kameez, her head covered and her signature back combing lifting her dupatta up to show some of her hair.
I admired her, more than I even admired my mother right now. The same mother who had barely called to even check up on me.
"What's happening, mama?" I questioned her, sitting by her side. She blew out breath from her mouth, looking at me.
"Oh, it's nothing. Just the men in my family fighting like dogs."
I cracked a smile as she referred to her own family as dogs, she had a funny bone in her body but she hardly used it.
After another minute, she stood up, air kissing my cheeks.
"I have to go, attend an event. Have fun on your weekend trip, okay?"
I mumbled my goodbye and then, she left.
--
As the clock ticked and hit ten in the morning, the doors opened and Zaydaan walked out, pissed off.
Ahad followed him, looking at his brother.
"Bhai, atleast listen to me." He pleaded, Zaydaan simply shook his head as I observed their exchange.
"I'm not going to, Ahad. What you're asking of me is too much, defense ministry, it's not, you're asking for too much.." My husband responded.
I stood up, since he looked ready to leave.
"I'm not, what's the big deal?" Ahad exclaimed out in anger but his brother gave him no response.
I hadn't seen them at odds, not like this. Both of them seemed angry at each other. Usually it was only Zaydaan.
"Let's go." He told me. I nodded, watching as my husband exited the hall room.
"Bhai." Ahad walked out too, following him.
I was both curious and worried, curious because I wanted to know the reason behind the argument and worried because Ahad seemed out of his wits.
"Ahad, what happened? Are you okay?" I questioned, my tone soft and concerned.
"Aaina, it's -" He was about to answer me when my husband's voice boomed out from outside.
"Aaina."
"Coming." I yelled back, touching Ahad's arm.
"We'll talk when I come back. Okay?" He nodded.
"Take care."
He bid me off and I felt guilty for leaving him alone when he seemed so worried, something that he had never done to me.
--
His eyes focused on the road ahead, a car following us and a car in front of us. His head of security, Sami had been really hesitant in letting him drive but Zaydaan's cold stare had turned him away. It wasn't the first time though, his security would forbid him and he would still do it.
Most of the times, whenever he was with me, he always drove himself, which meant that there was more security around him than usual.
He would frown after every few seconds and for a while, I remained quiet, texting Saira and telling her of my current plans.
But after a point, I couldn't take it anymore and had to break the ice.
"Is everything okay?" I asked.
"Fine." came his curt response.
"Why was your father yelling?"
I waited for him to answer my question but he didn't. Okay so he didn't want to tell me about that.
"So no discussion of that matter then? Got it." I said instead.
"Good."
"Where are we going?" I asked next.
"Farmhouse." He replied.
Seriously? As glad as I was to be spending time with him, I still thought that going to the same old farmhouse was a little boring.
"I've been to the farmhouse." I commented. He clicked his tongue.
"Not my farm house."
Ohkay. So my rich husband owned his own farm house? Nice.
"Oh, okay."
He glanced at me once, then looked away.
"Your shoulders are showing." He commented on my dress.
"No one's watching." I replied.
"Security. House staff. Family."
"I had my dupatta covering it."
"Sure." He still didn't seem convinced, just bitter.
I sighed.
"Are you going to stay in this sour mood?" I interrogated.
"Yes." He said honestly.
"Can I make it better?" I asked him.
"No. Driving helps."
The best thing to do with someone when they were angry or in a certain mood was to leave them alone for a moment, just so they could gather their thoughts. I had learned it the hard way.
"Okay, then. I'll play something."
I mumbled, pressing the music player.
If my husband was in a sour mood, there was still a smile on my face. Not because of Zaydaan but because of the fact that Atif Aslam was playing on the radio.
Dil diyan gallan had been my person favourite since the day of it's release, but now, I felt the lyrics more deeply. I understood them and I adored them.
It didn't take long for me to actually sing along to the song, not even thinking about the fact that Zaydaan was right by my side.
I felt carefree.
Tenu lakhan ton chhupa ke,
Rakhan akhaan te sajaa ke tu ae meri wafaa
Rakh apna bana ke
Main tere layi aan, tere layi,
Yaara,
Naa paavin kade dooriyan
Hayee-
I was in the middle of singing it when Atif's voice stopped all of a sudden and I realised Zaydaan had switched it off.
I groaned.
"Why would you turn it off?" I whined.
Was I being too comfortable and open with him? Maybe, yes. Did I like it? Hell yes.
"Terrible song, terrible singing." He commented.
I chuckled. The song wasn't terrible but my singing probably made it unbearable for him.
"I was having fun." I said back.
"I know."
"You ruined it." He smirked.
"I did."
In the middle of this slight banter, I realised that I had not informed Zaydaan about Minal.
I hadn't told him that she apologised to me yesterday and that she even had the audacity to offer her friendship.
"Zaydaan, I have to tell you something." I started off, not feeling nervous at all.
Something about this car drive made me feel too comfortable with him. Maybe, it was because I felt happy. With him.
"What?"
"Minal came to apologise." I stated. He shrugged.
"I know, she told me."
He took a UTurn and I started to see greenery around us. We were close to reaching the farm house.
"She called you?" I enquired, already feeling jealous.
"She came to the office." He replied, not giving away any more information.
"Why?"
"Because she can." He said it so casually, as if it was not a big deal, as if he had not threatened to make her life a living hell.
"I've never been to your office." I remarked, I truly hadn't.
"You can." I could?
Maybe, I could do one of those wifey things, I could take some food from home to him in his office and then eat it with him there.
"I will." I affirmed.
"What did she want?"
Had I really gained that much confidence I was asking him that many questions? Good job, Aaina.
He didn't seem to mind my interrogation, in fact he answered my questions without any frustration.
"Told me she's sorry and she wouldn't disturb us again."
"What did you say?"
"I told her to leave."
I smiled, knowing that he had told her to leave just because she had insulted me, it made me really glad.
I knew that he wanted to cast an impression in front of the people that we were a perfect couple, that he was a perfect husband. But he had no reason to fake it in front of his old friend, not just his ex fiance or whatever they were.
So clearly, he felt offended because of me and he had told her to leave his office. That meant something.
"That makes you happy?" He asked, upon observing my happy mood.
"Very. I don't hate her but I don't like as a person." I said back.
"She was the best person I knew but things didn't go the way she wanted and that took a toll on her. She's not the villain, trust me."
He explained, giving me an extra information. Since he was answering all my questions, I decided to give it a try and enquire about the argument with his father and brother.
"What happened with Ahad?" I mumbled casually.
I heard him chuckle.
"Nice try." He whispered, suddenly stopping the car. I looked around, only to see that we had arrived at our destination.
"Come."
Despite having an incredible house to relax in and rest with my husband, I found myself hand in hand with Zaydaan, walking around the large estate.
It was like walking in complete nature, I couldn't see any houses, any men, all I could see was Zaydaan and all I could feel was the soft chilly breeze around us.
I had never really been fond of walking in general, it bored me but walking beside Zaydaan, it gave me so much satisfaction.
"It seems so peaceful out here." My eyes continued to gaze over the view thoroughly, taking in the beautiful scenery.
"It does."
He agreed, looking relaxed himself.
"Why did you plan this?" I asked.
What I meant to ask was why had he planned to take me out for the weekend? He hardly took me out to spend time together, then why?
Was he finally caring for me?
"For starters, baba gave me the weekend off and I wanted to get you away from my crazy world." He answered casually, holding my waist.
I grinned.
"I like you like this." I told him.
I liked him in this casual attire, smiling at me like I was the only one he could see, I liked his touch, gentle and consuming, not harsh and obsessive, I liked his light eyes, no shadows of darkness around him.
He frowned.
"Like what?" He asked.
"Like a husband and not a control freak."
"Your husband is a control freak, darling." He said in a smug tone, I couldn't help but agree.
He definitely was a control freak, but there were alot of other parts of him that I hadn't seen yet. His personality wasn't limited.
"I know he is." We walked along the pathway, breathing in the fresh air, I leaned closer to him as another chilly breeze passed by us.
"So what else is here to see?"
"Nothing much, just nature." He replied, staring at me.
"So you wore this." He commented again.
"Mhmm."
"You didn't ask me." I almost wanted to laugh at the irony.
News channels were playing that one comment of his again and again, where he had said that it wasn't his choice, that I had the right to wear whatever I wanted to wear.
'I can't impose on her what she has to wear or not wear.'
"Didn't you tell the whole world that I didn't need your permission to wear what I wanted?" I questioned him with a playful grin.
Being gentle and respectful with him was the only way I could get any answers, and it was the only way I knew how to talk to him.
"I also told them I saw you at a party." He added, reminding me of the fake story that he had created an hour before the interview.
"I saw you at a party once."
I told him, remembering that one dinner.
"You did. And you replied to my greeting with trembling hands, I remember."
Did he really remember? He had a good memory, I guess.
"What was your reaction when your father told you that you had to marry me?"
I asked him next. He was willing to give me answers, he was willing to talk to me, he was willing to tell me things and it was all I had asked of him, it was all I had prayed for
"I always knew that I had to marry for politics so I didn't think of it much." He answered, I nodded.
"And why did you give me those lessons?"
Even remembering how dreadful I had felt after our first official meeting, it was awful.
"Truth or lie?"
"Truth." I affirmed.
"Your father asked me to."
I gasped. What?
"What?" Zaydaan nodded, his eyes actually looked at me with sympathy.
I gulped.
"He told me to intimidate you first and then get on your good side so that you'd always fear me."
He stated.
So when I complained to him, when I went after him, when he would tell me that he talked to the PM, to Zaydaan, it was all fake? Was he really lying about it?
Did my own father hate me that much? Or maybe he didn't hate me, he just loved power more.
"My own father?" I whispered, there was just hurt in my heart but not tears.
"Mhmm,"
"But why? What can possibly come out of me fearing you?" And I was genuinely curious.
How could anyone want that for their own daughter?
"Submission, I guess. In future, you'll have to do alot of things that you don't want to do, but you'll have to. For me."
He answered. What kind of things? Political things?
"And what if I say no?" I frowned.
"You'd say no to me?"
He asked as if I would sin by saying no to him. Did I have it in me to even say no to him?
I didn't think I did.
"No. I guess not."
He smiled at me, pleased.
"Good. I wouldn't want you to."
As we walked towards the end of the pathway, he held my hand in his, almost pulling me towards something.
"Come, I have to show you something."
He made me walk fast, and finally we reached a smaller farm, it was almost like a garden, with fences around it and a gate.
A small stable made me look at him with shock, and he confirmed my guess as I spotted a horse right outside the stable.
Since there was space for atleast two or three, I realised that this wasn't the only one.
"Horses." I whispered in awe.
"Yes, I figured you liked them since you always sneak out with my brother." He remarked.
I sighed.
"I sneaked out once. And you didn't talk to me for days."
He rolled his eyes at me.
"Anyway, I wanted you to experience it with me."
I wanted to experience everything with him. I wanted adventure and fun, and love and care, and so much more.
I wanted him to become my entire world. And I wanted to be the same for him.
"I'd like that." I responded.
"Like?" He questioned with a raise of his eyes, making me walk near the house, he hopped up on the horse first, making it look so easy.
I always had to put my foot on a small table to jump on the horse.
"Love." I answered.
"Hop on,"
I didn't need to put in much effort as he leaned slightly down, holding me and pulling me up with ease.
"Are we both going to-" He stopped me mid sentence, nodding.
Were we both really going to be a burden on a poor horse?
"Yes, they're professionally trained, they can carry alot of weight. You'll harm yourself if you ride it alone." He informed me.
"Okay,"
"Now, slowly pull on it." He put his head on my naked shoulder, making me breathe out loud.
I pulled on it, to move the horse and he handled the rope next, making me simply sit in front.
It was different from how I usually rode with Ahad.
"Like that."
He had a wild grin on his face, my own hair flying out in the breeze, Where anyone else would be terrified by the speed and the possible danger, I was laughing. Not because I wasn't scared but because I was so happy.
The horse moved across the farm, fast at first and then slowing down after a while.
Almost fifteen minutes of riding, Zaydaan finally stopped.
Both of us got off the horse.
"Good boy," My husband grinned, stroking and patting his neck, "You're so good."
I smiled at the way he handled his horse. There was so much appreciation in his eyes, unlike Ahad, who simply had love.
"What's he called?" I asked him.
"Icarus."
Chameli, Tufan, Bijli, Zaira, and so many more names that Ahad had named his horses with. And then there was my husband.
"That's a different name, Ahad calls his horses chameli, Tufan and-" My husband interrupted me, still stroking his horse.
"He calls them that because he loves them. I enjoy horses."
"Why Icarus?" I questioned.
We started to walk back towards the house, hunger kicking in as I realised that it was time for lunch.
"In Greek mythology, Icarus was a legend who flew too near the sun. Some call him stupid and some call him brave, he and his father were held captive by the king, they were provided all the luxuries but they were captives."
He continued, and I listened.
"One day, Icarus started to crave freedom. And to find that freedom, he flew too close to the sun."
I realised that he was someone who was interested in history, in Greek gods, in everything that I wasn't interested in. I had seen several political and historical books in his study.
"It's not true." I whispered.
They were folklore, made up for entertainment.
"Ofcourse, it's not. But all stories have lessons." We walked inside the house.
"And what's the lesson here?" I asked him, sitting down on the dining table.
"That freedom can get you burned sometimes."
Reality is ugly but life is beautiful.
Reality was that I had been forced into a marriage with a man for the sake of money and politics. Life made me accept it.
Reality was that my father had not even prioritised me before his power and money, life told me that it was okay, that there were better things.
Reality was that Zaydaan had told me he had no space in his life for love, life told me that it was alright if he didn't, I could love enough for the both of us.
Reality made things ugly and life made everything beautiful.
And I just wanted things to be the same, I wanted Zaydaan to be the same with me back home and I wanted to remain at constant peace.
I wanted the Zaydaan who didn't have a firm expression on his face, the Zaydaan who wasn't constantly working, the Zaydaan who could express himself freely with me.
"This is your safe place, right? You can be anyone here, not the foreign minister, not the son of PM, you're just yourself." I commented as he started to eat.
He shrugged, not bothering to pay my words much attention.
"No. I am myself when I'm there."
"I don't think so." I said hesitantly.
"Why not?" He questioned back.
I took a sip from the orange juice and leaned a little forward.
"Because I see a different light in your eyes here," I whispered, holding his hand. He smiled, his fingers grazing across my cheek suddenly.
"There's no darkness, no guarding yourself." I repeated, Zaydaan still smiled at me.
"You're too pure, Aaina. You're innocent, good."
I didn't know if he meant it as a compliment or as a fact or as something which wasn't a good thing.
"When I become the Prime Minister, the world will be at your feet, you'll be the most cherished woman in the country." He promised.
He was always so confident about his future plans, it scared me. Things always went the way Allah had planned, humans couldn't do much.
And being cherished by the whole country? I wasn't an idol, just a simple woman who wanted to be loved by her husband.
"I only want to be cherished by you." I said back, he leaned a little forward, placing a kiss on my forehead, his lips staying there.
"When the time comes, be brave for me. Okay?" He suddenly said.
I frowned.
"When?"
"When the time comes, you'll know." He answered, leaning back again.
"I don't want to know something bad."
There was something different in his eyes as he talked to me about this, as if there were things I didn't know, things that could possibly change my life.
I swallowed the bile down my throat.
"Come here," He instructed.
Here? Here where? We're sitting opposite to each other, with only a little space.
"Don't be scared, I won't bite." And that playful grin returned.
I smiled, standing up.
Come here? He meant, come sit on my lap.
"Not scared." I replied, sitting exactly where he wanted me to sit.
"Why did you bring me here, Zaydaan? Among all the chaos, you brought me here." I asked in curiosity.
"Because you're my wife." There was no hesitation in his reply.
"Only because of that?"
"You're doing your duties well, so I'm doing mine."
Duties? I didn't think that what I was doing counted as my duties. I only did what I felt like doing. And the past few days had been good for me.
Whatever.
"Okay." I took his answer, still sitting on his lap as his hands wrapped around my waist.
"Yes, okay, darling."
That damn word.
"I like when you call me that." I told him.
"Like?" He pushed back a strand of hair behind my ear, his lips closing on my mouth.
"Love."
I whispered back, and that was all I remembered before he caught me in a consuming kiss.
--
Thoughts?