Chapter Nine (Mark)
Pain.
That's all I felt as I watched everything go on around me from inside my own body. It was like being trapped in a glass box... Trapped inside your own body, watching the world around you continue. I could only lay there and move my fingers to ask for things. When they fed me, they took me off the ventilator long enough to eat before my chest started aching and burning.
My lungs squeezed tightly and expanded fully every time I tried to breath, only causing more pain as I struggling to suck oxygen into my body.
Everything hurt.
My head felt like it was going to explode half the time, my chest felt like it was going to just collapse on itself. I couldn't even remember how I got here. How did I end up in this hospital? What hospital is this?
I only remembered a pair of blue eyes leering at me before I was kicked in the back of the head. After that and before that was a total blur and I could only grab bits and pieces of it. If there was one thing I was sure of...
It was that I was terrified.
I didn't like it here. My heart monitor scared me, as if at any moment it'd flat line and that'd be the last thing I'd hear. The last thing I would see is the television across the room playing Captain America over and over again because the nurses didn't change the DVDs often enough. The last thing I'd feel is the agonizing pain in my chest and head.
"Mark?" One of the nurses, whose name was Kelsey, approached the side of the bed with a gentle smile, brushing the hair out of my face.
"You have a visitor." She said, making me look at her in confusion. She stepped aside and my heart sank as I saw Jack standing by the curtain that seperated my bed from the other patients in the room that were just lying there on their machines and ventilators, breathing mechanically. Kelsey fixed up the machines I was hooked to, then left Jack alone with me.
I wanted to call out to her, beg her to come back.
I didn't want to be alone with him.
Not when I was like this.
Not when I couldn't defend myself.
"Afternoon, Mark." Jack greeted dryly, setting his cane on the bed railing before he leaned over to check my stats on the machine beside me. He snorted and leaned back, scanning me from head to toe before he locked eyes with me.
"It's about time, ain't it? You lived a good four years, Mark. Four good years of running and hiding and pretending." He sighed, pausing to cough and wheeze a little. I winced a little, trying to shift on the bed, but sharp pangs echoed through my body, making me whimper. Instead, my fingertips twitched, but Jack didn't reach for the notepad and pencil.
"I don't need to know what you have to say," Jack retorted, making me grimace, "You knew this was bound to happen sooner or later... It's your fault, Mark. They died because of you." The backs of my eyes burned as I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to block out Jack's voice by thinking of anything else, but it was so hard with the pain throbbing in my lungs and head. I peeked my eyes back open to see Jack staring at me sadly.
He reached out and cupped my cheek, his calloused, wrinkling hand making my cheek burn. He stroked my cheek a couple times, then pulled his hand away.
"I hate you," Jack said at last as I could only stare up at him, "You look just like her... The same eyes, the same hair, the same nose, the same lips... How can you look so much like her? She was beautiful. She was strong..." He studied my face, then picked up his cane again.
"This is how it's meant to be, Mark. A life for a life. A tooth for a tooth. An eye for an eye. Once you come home, I'll take you off the ventilator and let your parents do with you as they please." He explained calmly. I felt my heart rate pick up, feeling it slam into my ribcage and lungs, making me choke and try to move.
Every part of my body hurt!
It burned!
It ached!
Make it stop!
I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling tears streak down the sides of my face as I tried to yell at him, but I choked on the tube in my throat. The more I struggled, the more it hurt. I watched as Jack departed, leaving me alone. I slumped back on the bed, lying there and staring up at the ceiling, spacing out as another wave of pain struck me as I tried to steady my breathing.
"I don't wanna go! I'm not sick!" I heard myself yell in my head as the world around me seemed to fade out and I found myself standing in front of my old surburban home in Lansing. My parents were waiting by their Ford Focus, my dad just adding his music player to the sound system as my mother insisted I get in the car.
I'd had a cold that week and it was driving my mom insane. She kept telling me to hurry up.
What if it wasn't a cold?
What if it was the flu?
"I hate doctors!" I barked from the doorstep, sitting with my knees drawn to my chest as I played my DS. My mom sighed and walked over, plucking the game from my hands and snapping it shut, tucking it into her purse.
"That's not fair!" I protested.
"Too bad," She responded with the thrust of her hip, "Come on. You're fourteen, sweetheart. The doctors shouldn't be scary anymore."
"I don't want them to draw my blood, that's it!" I argued, trying to get up and get away, but she caught me by the back of my neck and wheeled me around, guiding me to the car as I grumbled under my breath. My mom sighed once we got to the car and my dad got in, smirking at how childish I was acting.
"Okay, let's make a deal," She decided, making me glance at her, "If you behave and let them do a few tests, I'll buy you that new video game you wanted AND we'll stop for Chinese. How's that sound?"
"Sounds like you're a good negotiator." I responded, opening the car door. My mom beamed.
God, she was pretty. I always thought I was super lucky for having a young, pretty mother. Her hair was as black as mine, only curly and fell down to the middle of her back while her wavy bangs fell across her forehead, above a pair of sparkling blue eyes. She was wearing a pretty blue sweater that day to match her blue jeans. She got in beside my father, who glanced at me in the rearview mirror. He was the one that made me feel adopted sometimes, physically anyway.
We acted the same. We were always watching scary movies together, trying to bake cookies without catching the kitchen on fire, and talking about the possibilities of the world. But physically, I hardly looked like him. His hair was blonde, dishwater blonde, while his eyes were deep hazel. He had a little beauty mark under his right eye, right where my tear drop tattoo was now.
We got in the car comfortably and took off toward the doctor's.
I didn't want to be there. Sitting in that cold hard chair as they prepared for a blood test. My heart was racing and I felt like I was about to die. They wrapped the band around the top of my arm, dabbing at the crook of my elbow with cold alcohol. I trembled for a second before looking up.
My mother smiled at me, holding up my DS and waving it teasingly. I pushed my lip into a pout to try and get her to cave, but she didn't and just held onto my dad's hand. My dad smiled reassuringly. I squeezed my eyes shut quickly as the needle fell into my skin, then withdrew seconds later. My head spun, but only because I was nervous.
I sat there for a while, resting as my mother congratulated me on a job well done. My father ruffled my hair, calling me a baby and making me huff. We left and headed down the road to the Game Stop not too far down the road.
"Damn it," My dad grunted as he turned into another lane, "This asshole keeps riding my ass."
"Honey, stop swearing in front of Mark."
"Mom, I know what asshole and ass mean."
"Mark! Look what you did, Scott."
"Lily, I didn't do anything. He's fourteen."
"Oh, you're both just terrible. No more swearing in front of me, then. Or your teachers or employers." My mom announced as if her word was law. My dad peeked at me in the rearview mirror with a grin, making me smirk.
"Scott! Look out!" My mom gasped. My dad's smile fell as he quickly jerked the wheel to the side.
That's all I remembered before I blacked out, waking up moments later with a social worker, a couple doctors, and a man named Jack.
It only took a few seconds for everything to end.
A few seconds for the post to jam through the front seat and practically skewer my parents. At least, that's how Jack explained it. He also had fun adding to the details as I stood in the living room of his beat up old trailer.
"Like a couple of kabobs," Jack sneered at me, sending a chill up my spine, "Pierced right through their hearts. How fitting that Scott had his heart pinned to Lily's. Lily... Do you have any idea how wonderful a woman she was? And it only took you a few seconds to kill her!"
The world suddenly slammed into me and my eyes flew open to see a nurse staring down at me in worry as another nurse joined her, adjusting the tube in my throat and making it sore again. All the pain came rushing back, making me cringe.
"Sweetie... Mark. Are you all right?" Kelsey asked, approaching the other nurses as they dabbed my forehead with a cool cloth.
I can't answer you, idiot! Stop teasing me! Stop asking me questions! Stop talking to me!
Even though my mind was screaming in pain and anger, I couldn't make a sound. I just lay there as they tended to my machine and it was hearing them talk that made me realize that I had another seizure and I didn't even notice it. I thought I had fallen asleep or blacked out.
"The poor thing," The older nurse named Patty murmured, "So young and so much damage. It usually takes years for a smoker to get this bad." Kelsey glanced at her solemnly, then looked back at me with a small smile.
"It's all right, sweetheart. You'll be okay. Just keep fighting. Don't give up." She urged. Patty blinked, looking at Kelsey before smiling brightly at me, reaching out to stroke the hair back from my face.
"She's right, pumpkin, just keep fighting. We'll do the best we can to help, but it takes more than us nurses to make a conga line." She added, withdrawing as she and the other nurses departed, chattering about what they were doing to do for their vacation.
Right. Of course.
They have their own lives to worry about to. Husbands, friends, children, vacations, spas.
And here I was, lying on a bed and slowly dying.
Don't give up, they said.
Keep fighting, they said.
And for what?
So I can go back to a place where I was constantly badgered? Constantly beat? Constantly picked on? Go back to slowly killing myself without even realizing it? I'm eighteen. This shouldn't be happening to me.
The tears threatened to come back, but I quickly blinked them away, tilting my head very slightly to the side to see the person in the bed beside me. The person was suffering from the same thing I was. Their ventilator was wheezing, their eyes were closed. They'd been in a coma for two weeks now.
Was that going to be me? Was I going to faint into a world of nightmares before I died? Be in agony before I died?
I tilted my head back, trying to steady my breathing as I thought back.
Scared of needles. I was always scared of being poked and prodded. Getting my blood drawn was the worst. And here I was, hooked up to machines that I didn't even know the names of. I had a huge needle in my arm, feeding me blood that I lost every time I coughed.
Scared of needles?
I was scared of dying.
I squeezed my eyes shut until I heard footsteps that made me look up as Kelsey peered around the curtain, a big smile on her face.
"Hey, sweetheart. You must be super popular today. You have two more visitors!" She exclaimed cheerfully, as if having people visit me would make me feel better. I didn't do anything to show that she pissed me off and watched as Alex and Storm stepped around the curtain, making my eyes widen in surprise.
Alex stood there, trying to look at least mildly happy, but he was really sucking at it. He looked as... well, I'm not totally homo or anything, but even a straight guy would admit that Alex was beautiful, for a guy. His hair was silky and blonde, a pale golden blonde, that reached just under his ears. His eyes were like blue-gray clouds on a storm day's-- just like his sister's. He was wearing a navy Wolf Creek sweatshirt with black jeans.
As usual, Storm was wearing tight leather pants and leather jacket with a gray turtleneck this time. I hated to admit he was a really good-looking dude. His hair was black, not as black as mine, but black. His eyes were green-blue, but mostly green in the shine of the lights overhead.
"Hey, Mark." Alex greeted timidly at first. It took me a moment to realize how guilty he looked. I also noticed that he had slight dark circles under his eyes, indicating he hadn't slept all night. I blinked and twitched my fingers. Alex reached for the notepad and pencil, handing it to me. I took it and just wrote a simple hello.
"Uhm... How are you feeling?" Alex asked. I scribbled my response and held it up, making him roll his eyes and look away.
Like shit.
"Mark, do you... remember what happened last night?" Alex asked after a moment, tilting his head and leaning on the railing of my bed. My fingers trembled as I tried to remember, but things felt blank.
I only remembered bits and pieces. I remembered a pair of blue eyes glaring at me like I was the scum of the earth. The tip of someone's steel-toed boot hitting me in the back of the head, then darkness.
I remembered waking up in the hospital and freaking out. What had happened? How did I get there? Where were the people that jumped me? Who were they?
Then I blacked out again and woke up to Kelsey undoing my venilator so I could eat. After that, I choked and coughed up blood all over my yogurt and toast, so I couldn't eat it, naturally.
No. I wrote on the notepad. Alex and Storm both sighed in frustration. I furrowed my brow into a frown before I wrote why. Alex and Storm shared looks before looking at me in silence for a moment. Finally, Alex spoke.
"Mark. Someone attacked you last night. You were beaten... pretty badly. And, after we got you to the hospital, I tried to ask who your attackers were and you seemed like you were trying to tell me, but you went into a seizure. Do you remember that?" He asked. I kept frowning as my response and Alex sighed, resting his elbows on the railing and running his hands through his hair.
"If he doesn't remember anything, what use is that?" Alex asked Storm. I twitched my leg to kick Alex in the elbow, making him glance at me as I glared at him.
"Sorry." He apologized sincerely. I rolled my eyes, then winced as a pang of pain shot through my chest, making it tight. My heart rate skipped a beat on the monitor and Alex backed up, looking alarmed. I scribbled on the notepad.
Wasn't anything. What's wrong?
"We need to know who attacked you last night... And..." Alex's voice trailed. Storm glanced at him, then looked at me. He surprised me by coming around to the other side of the bed, taking my hand in his. His hands were smooth and warm, surprisingly comfortable on my smaller hand.
"And we're trying to find a way to save you." He stated, looking right into my eyes that widened.
Save me?
Why would he want to save me?
I could hear Alex's voice in the back of my head telling me something about Storm crushing on me. I waited to be repulsed and disgusted, but... For some reason, I wasn't. Looking at him as he stared at me so intensely, giving my hand a reassuring squeeze suddenly felt... trusting. I gave his hand the best squeeze I could manage before I coughed, choking a little on the tube before settling back down.
"Is there anything you can tell us?" Alex asked at last. Storm and I looked at Alex, who waited expectantly. I let go of Storm's hand to hold the notepad as I wrote my next message.
Blue eyes. Steel toe boots.
"What's that mean?" Alex asked stupidly. I rolled my eyes and looked at Storm, who studied the words on the notepad before looking up.
"The person who attacked him had blue eyes and steel-toed boots. Or, at least one of them did. I don't think any one person could cause this much damage." Storm added, studying my body as he tugged the blankets out from under my arms. I felt my face get hot as Storm pushed the blankets down to my ankles, then right off my feet.
He studied my toes, giving one a pinch and making my foot jump. He ran his fingers along my ankle, giving me goosebumps at how lightly he was touching me. With the blankets off, I finally saw the amount of damage caused to my legs. My eyes widened in shock at one particular bruise that ran right along my left shin, from ankle to knee cap where it was obviously swelled.
"Bruising." Storm murmured.
"From the beating?" Alex asked eagerly, leaning forward to look down at me. Storm nodded slowly, then lifted my gown up. I only managed a stifled, choked "mmph" as he did so. My face flamed red, burning all the way to the tips of my ears as my heart rate picked up. Storm ran his hands along my thighs, making me choke on the tube.
"Hold still, Mark." Alex scolded, touching my inner thighs. I squirmed on the bed, managing to grab the railings of my bed, squeezing tight.
Says you, asshole! You two are practically molesting me!
Storm put his hands on my hips, trailing up and in the process pushing my gown up under it was just under my neck uncomfortably. I was about to protest at how awful this was to do to me now of all times when my eyes fell on the bruising on my torso. I even had stitches near my hip bone. I just stared at it, then watched as Storm pulled my gown back down, bringing the blankets up toward my neck.
Then he stopped suddenly, his eyes widening as he seemed to have spotted something near my collarbone. He started to reach out when Kelsey came back in.
"Sorry to cut the visit short, guys," She sang brightly, "But Mark here needs to get something into his stomach. He's going to lose weight like crazy at this rate. Please come back around six in the evening. It'll give you two hours before visiting hours are over for the day." Storm and Alex looked at each other quickly, then at me. I just watched him as they bade their farewells and departed.
Kelsey came back with a cart, wheeling it in. Two other nurses joined her in slowly removing the tube from my throat. Everything ached even worse in my body. My throat hurt from having the tube removed and my lungs began to burn even more as I struggled for deep breathes. One of the nurses helped me sit up while Kelsey set a tray out on my lap.
It was simple chicken broth with a glass of vegetable juice. A couple of pills sat near the glass, waiting to be taken. My fingers trembled as I reached out, placing them on my tongue before I swallowed.
"You're doing better," Kelsey told me as the other nurses left, "It probably still hurts, but don't worry, sweetie. The meds will start to work soon and you won't be coughing or having any more seizures, at least for now. We'll up your morphine a little, but we can't do it too much or it'll interfere with your other medications. Now eat up! Who knows when you'll be able to eat properly again." I frowned, wincing as I swallowed the pills before I looked down at my tray with a sigh.
I saw something shine out the corner of my eye, making me frown as I tilted my head to see Kelsey walking away, her boots clomping on the ground. My eyes widened slowly as I scanned the boots.
What sort of nurse wore steel-toed boots?!