Even if my lungs felt like they were set on fire, I kept on pedaling my bike against the late afternoon breeze. I have to return home, turn on the lights before it gets dark. But as of the moment, I am out of time.
In the hues of orange and blue, I could see the stone bridge ahead, the only way to reach home. Below it was a shallow river. The other end of the bridge has a grand arch with faded carved letters that etched 'Castello dei Capo' or The House of Rulers. Under it, my lousy vandal of 'KEEP OUT' was painted in red.
There was almost a zero chance that someone would get lost and end up here. It's also close to impossible for people who dare to explore what's beyond the arc. A few corpses have been found floating in the river over the years, that people had hushed conversations with facts twisted to their own perfect story. Still, I put out my warning.
What's beyond was mine.
The first time I saw the mansion, I was enveloped with fear. Uncle said it was a gift from a friend. Despite the luxurious design, marbles, big glass windows and gold painted columns, one would wonder why someone would build a house at the mouth of a forest, away from the city. A jewel in the woods. Aside from the dancing trees, the eerie silence has ruled over the years, and yet it couldn't give me the peace that I longed for.
After the bridge, I passed through the wide yard of rubble, leaves and moss-covered statues of four angels. On the center was a fountain that I never saw come to life and spout water. Maybe it was once a beautiful garden, filled with colorful flowers and residents who had nothing but sunshine in the morning and critters of night bugs as company. Maybe they laughed a lot, but who knows. Just like the main house, the front garden was dead and nothing but a wild grass.
I jumped out of my bike and pushed the main entrance. Even if the school bag slowed down my weight, I raced up the grand staircase to the master's bedroom.
1, 2, 3, 4. I counted and flipped the switches on until the whole of the mansion was filled with artificial light. 59, 60, 61 and the last one, 62, the switch for the chandelier in the dining hall. I made a satisfied smile at the brightness and the safety it symbolized. Every bathroom, bedroom, corner and even the attic is lighted. I have nothing to fear.
I changed my clothes and went down for dinner; found a tray covered in a dome glass. I ate everything and as usual, it tasted perfect.
Since I started living here, there was no need for me to lift a finger, like I used to. The difference is I am served by people I rarely see. They come silently and do their task and go.
As for me, I have yet to find a stronger resolve why I exist in hiding since that day.
I was resting in my room while a lot of guests attended my mother's funeral. Something moved in the shadows and when I woke up, I was boarding a plane on my way to rebirth.
I unfastened my seatbelt and found no one except the men sitting behind me.
"Suwatte kudasai. (Please, sit down.)."
I didn't listen and stepped back. 'Mom. I want my mom,' but no voice came out. It was all gone from screaming and crying.
"Suwatte kudasai."
I continued walking backwards until my back hit something or someone.
"You're running from the wrong men, little niece."
"Uncle!" I hugged his leg like my life depended on it and cried in my hoarse voice.
Effortlessly, he picked me up and strapped me to the nearest seat. He then told the men to go back to their seats. Uncle sat beside me and offered my favorite candy.
I didn't accept it.
'Never accept gifts without knowing what they want in return.' That was a lesson he taught me once.
"Smart child." He then pat my head. "Hanna, listen to me."
My name wasn't Hanna. How come he had mistaken me for another person?
"You are Hanna from now on."
I opened my mouth and asked silently 'Why?'.
"Not everyone will give you cake on your birthday, little sinner. Others will take away something from you. I'm sorry I wasn't there but I promise, we will avenge Yumiko's death. The only thing I can do is to keep you away from the enemy. From now on, you are Hanna Mamori."
"W-Why..."
"That's what your mother wanted."
Another river of tears flowed down my cheeks.
"She wants you to live, far from the life of a Kyosei."
The only proof of my past was the scissors. 'Loathe the man who gave you this,' Uncle said. 'I'll watch over you.' How could I hate a man that I fear so much? One smile and it would send shivers down my spine. Gustavo Qapone was the devil himself.
At first, there were maids, but all of them acted like robots with flesh, only up for the task. During nightmares, I would shout on top of my lungs but no one would come. I was alone and it was like that for a long time.
The blood and the party, it was the same every night. Haunting images would come crawling in my sleep and taunt me to never forget. Then I'd wake up and shout, cry until I can't do it anymore. In the morning, no voice would come out from my wasted throat. The cycle was endless and finally, I was used to my silence. It was a slow and painful process. Talking to no one and having no will to do so helped along the way. Slowly, as the years go by, I had loved solitude. Silence was peace, as I forced it to be. Silence was my friend.
I was left to do what I wanted and that was just to live a little longer, waiting for the time that I end up dead, too. I distanced myself and finally got used to it. So I told them, the maids, staff and everyone to leave me alone. The next day, I got what I want. I was living alone ever since, or it seems like I was.
Here I am now, counting down for my death and an empty shell for a living person. Breathing and walking aimlessly.
Just waiting.
She's just a child.
Hanna.
It wasn't my fault.
I woke up from a nightmare gasping for air, embraced by total darkness and the sound of rain. I flinched from the thunder that boomed in the sky. With my shaking hand, I reached for a flashlight on my bedside table. It wasn't there. Panic overwhelmed me and my body trembled.
No, please not darkness.
On cue, lightning flashed and for a temporary view of my room. My breathing hitched at the silhouette sitting on the sofa by the foot of my bed.
"Found you," whispered by a masculine voice, like a deep rumbling hush, only meant for my ears.
So my time has come. Hide-and-seek ends now.
"Who are you?" It's been days since I last spoke, and would probably my last.
The man sat unfazed while I rummaged my bedside drawer for a weapon, not to protect myself but something to end my life. He's probably got a gun, but I choose to die with the same scissors that ended my mother's. It was sharp and the handle was made of metal, the pointy edge can do more than pierce the skin.
Too beautiful and perfect for my murder.
Cautiously, I walked towards him and in trembling hands, handed the scissors with its sharp point towards me. There was no hint of perfume. I know he's not leaving any trace; even the lightning wasn't enough to view his face.
After a few seconds of silence, he took it. I placed a hand on my chest and felt its every beat.
"Please make it quick," I begged as I closed my eyes. "Stab me in the heart."
***
Lost and Found