BELLA'S POV
I found myself sitting silently in the warmth of Harry's car. He drove contently back home. I could feel his eyes on me every few minutes. I know he's worried about me, I can sense his anxiety.
"Bells," he coos, softly rubbing my thigh.
I don't look at him. I stay quite, looking out the window at the buildings and trees. The city was quite busy today.
"You worry me, my love. I'd wish you'd speak and tell me what's on your pretty little mind. I've missed your voice," he urges.
I want to cry. I want to scream it out. I want to tell him all that's happened. Right now isn't the time nor the place for that. He will surely wreck and kill us both if I tell him right now.
I turn slowly toward him and give him a sympathetic grin.
It's going to kill him.
"There's something you're not telling me. I don't want to push you if you aren't ready to talk. I've just missed you," he frowns.
"I missed you more," I mumble.
It's the first thing I've said since we left the warehouse. Everything hit me so suddenly when we got in the car. I started thinking about everything. It's just a but too much to talk about.
He grins and his cheeks flush. His thumb rubs at my thigh. I nearly wince when he rubs over a bruise but I hold back my whines.
I'm glad he's well.
I don't have the heart to tell him that his hands are starting to make me uncomfortable for they remind me of Alex's.
I cringe at the feeling, looking back out the window to occupy my mind.
-
I sit in the middle of mine and Harry's bed. I've missed this bed. It's been nearly a week since I've slept in a bed. I feel exhausted but my mind won't let me rest. Harry is downstairs fixing some food. The gesture is nice but I don't know if I can stomach food just yet.
I don't like being alone up here. Even though they are both dead, I still feel like something could get me. I'm tired of crying but I feel tears flood my eyes once more. Maybe I should tell Harry.
I'm at a point of no return. This is my life now. I have to live with this feeling forever.
"Harry," I whine as tears spill from my eyes.
I know he can't hear me.
I climb off the bed and hesitantly leave the room. I find myself trotting down the steps with my silent cries. I see Harry's back facing me, leaning over the stove. I hear him humming softly to the music he has playing.
I let out a shaky breathe as I move towards him , he doesn't know I'm behind him.
"Harry," I cry.
He freezes and drops the spoon into the pot of soup he's cooking. He looks worried as he spins around to see me.
"What's wrong, baby? Come here," he coos and opens his arms for me.
"I c-cant do t-this," I sob out.
He rubs my back.
"What baby? You can't do what?" he asks softly into my ear.
"They- They hurt me," I cry into his neck.
He freezes once more.
"My angel," he sighs.
His breathing is shaky and uneven. He turns around slightly with me in his arms, flipping off the stove. He scoops me up and carries me to the living room.
"Will you tell me happened?" he asks calmly as I sit on his lap, facing him.
I pause. Maybe it's too soon to tell all. I don't know if I can tell him. I go mute as tears flow continuously.
"Take your time dear. I'm here. No one will ever hurt you again, I promise you that my angel," he says softly.
I know he's worried and scared for me.
I let in a shaky breath.
I fumble with the end of my shirt. I tug it over my head. I sit on his lap, topless. Alex didn't cover the marks on my torso, they are now exposed to Harry.
I shut my eyes, I can't bare his reaction. My trembling hands cover them so I can't see.
"No," he sighs.
"No baby. I'm so sorry," he cries. He wraps his arms around me so gently like I could break at the slightest touch, I feel like I might.
I feel his tears on my bare shoulders.
It all hurts too much. His pain and mine. It's unbearable.
"I let this happen. I was so stupid to trust him. This is all my fault. You can hate me forever my love. I wouldn't blame you for minute," he sobs into my battered skin.
I knew this would hurt him. I shouldn't have showed him.
I shake my head. He can't blame himself for this, it isn't his fault.
"Yes baby. I'm so sorry I let this happen. I'll never forgive myself for this," he says into me.
I shake my head again.
I remove my hands from my face as I hug him closer. I know he needs me.
"Not your fault. Could never hate you," I say in broken sentences.
"There's more isn't there?" he asks.
I nod.
"Did he...you know?" he asks.
I pause.
I know what's he's referring to. If I nod, it becomes real. If I nod, it's true. If I nod, I won't be the same.
I nod.
He breaks into sobs. He balls my shirt up into his hands with rage. I feel as though he's going to explode underneath me. All of his emotions building up under my touch. He's a ticking time bomb.
"They're dead, Harry. There's nothing you can do now," I explain, grabbing the sides of his face.
It's time for me to face reality I suppose. It's my turn to care for him now. I have to calm him.
I stare into his troubled green eyes filled with hurt. His face is flushed and broken.
"Shhh, I'll be okay," I mumble my new found hope.
I say these words with hope, for I'm unsure if I will be okay. I sure hope that I will be.
It's a hope I've built for Harry. A hope I've built to keep us both sane. I have to be strong for him. In a way, I knew this would ruin him more than it would ruin me.
He shakes his head furiously.
"You didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to touch you. How dare he lay his hands on mine," he grumbles deeply.
"My dear, it's over with. I'm here with you now. I'm alive. I'm going to be alright," I smile sincerely through my swollen lips.
"I need time to heal of course but as long as I have you, I'll be just fine," I add as I stroke his tear stained face.
"How can you be so strong?" he asks in amazement.
"I have you, don't I?" I ask.
He nods and places a kiss on my forehead.
"Then I'm gonna be fine," I conclude.
I kiss his swollen lips. His puffy eyes shut. His warm hands softly run across my waist.
"You are unreal. You're an angel," he mutters against me.
I don't say anything. My face turns pink at his words.
"Here," he says before slipping my shirt over my head and letting me slip my arms through the sleeves.
"My sweet, sweet angel," he hum.
He places his face into my hair inhaling deeply, he presses his lips to the side of my head.
"You deserve so much more, so much more than I can ever give you," he says into me.
I wrap my arms around him once more.
"I will protect you forever. You are so important to me. So so important. My deepest treasure," he admits, kissing my head again.
I whine at his touch and his words.
He hums in response.
He knows I'm overwhelmed and emotional.
"I know baby, I know. Let's get you some food," he says, picking me up and carrying me to the kitchen.
He places me on the counter by the stove. He continues cooking and I stare at him fondly.
I'm grateful for him more than he will ever know.
-
A/N: DOUBLE UPDATE WOOT WOOT!! it's a christmas miracle!!!!!! lmao i hope you enjoy this. it's honestly such a sad chapter. i was so excited to write this scene i decided to just get it over with. if you are confused at all about what has happened, please comment or message me and i'll gladly clear it up. i know a lot has happened these past few chapter, i know it's kinda confusing so please ask if you need me to clear anything up or if you see and mistakes. i would like to confirm that bella was raped. i don't plan on going into much detail about it because i know it can be very triggering for some people and it's definitely not my favorite thing to write about. she was also abused during the time that she was taken, i might talk about that a little bit but nothing too crazy, i'll try to be cautious of others opinions on the topic. please VOTE AND COMMENT if you enjoyed this chapter. it would mean the world to em. this book is getting so much love and attention and i'm so grateful!!! thank u so much for continuing to read my shit writing hahah xoxo
-alexa